[Blind Gossip] She said that she will not get pregnant again until she settles into her new home.
That is not true.
In fact, she is already pregnant!
There’s something important you need to know, though.
Her famous husband is not the father!
You see, her husband had an unfortunate accident a few years ago that rendered him infertile.
He knew that he wanted to be a father, but he wanted a baby that was part of his bloodline.
He had to seek out a sperm donor within his own family.
The most logical choice was his brother.
However, that presented some quirky issues.
While he initially wanted to keep this private, it was a significant lineage issue that necessitated involving senior members of the family. A family meeting took place, and they unanimously decided that [another family member] would be a better choice.
The chosen family member was handsome, fertile, and had no health issues.
Who was it?
Yes, the very same uncle who would later wind up in hot water.
So, how was the baby conceived?
No, the actress did not sleep with the uncle! Don’t be foolish. This was all done in a lab. The actress’ eggs were harvested and fertilized with the uncles’ sperm.
Despite the conspiracy theories, there was no surrogate involved. The actress carried and give birth to the first baby.
Furthermore, despite the turmoil that surrounded the uncle, he will be the biological father of the second baby as well.
They really had no choice. They want their children to be full siblings.
The second baby will be announced next month. You’ve already met the first baby.
So, in case you were wondering why the family keeps the uncle so tightly within the family fold… and why the couple chose to move away from the family right after the uncle was exposed… and why the couple still has a home to come back to that is close to the rest of the family… wonder no more!
They are all permanently bound by blood and secrets.
Similar: Isle Combover And Liar
[Optional] Do you think the couple will go back to live near his family?
Actress: Meghan Markle
Husband: Prince Harry
Uncle: Prince Andrew
Yes, this is all very shocking!
There have been so many crazy conspiracy theories floating around for the past few years about Harry and Meghan’s baby, we felt it was time to set the record straight.
- First of all, Baby Archie DOES exist. He is not a doll, nor was he borrowed from some other family.
- Second, Meghan Markle DID give birth to Baby Archie Harrison. There was no surrogate mother.
- Third, Meghan Markle DID give birth to Baby Archie on May 6, 2019. The baby was not born weeks earlier.
- Fourth, Meghan Markle IS the biological mother of Baby Archie. The couple did not use an egg from another woman to create Baby Archie.
Now let’s talk about why Prince Andrew is actually the biological father of Harry and Meghan’s babies!
Several years ago, Prince Harry had a terrible accident.
This happened well after the infamous Las Vegas debacle – in which Harry was photographed running around a hotel room au natural.
It was also after he had started dating Meghan Markle.
Harry was drinking with his friends one night. They were teasing him about the fact that they had seen very little of him since he had started dating Meghan. They joked about how she had him wrapped around her little finger and had effectively emasculated him.
The boys then pointed out that Harry was even wearing one of Meghan’s ponytail holders on his wrist!
Harry supposedly retorted that she had done no such thing and that his balls were still quite intact.
The lads started joking about challenges. You may have heard of the “Cinnamon Challenge” or the “Ice Bucket Challenge.”
Harry said that he would take “The Ponytail Challenge.”
This self-invented challenge involved him taking the ponytail holder off of his wrist and wrapping it around his “cobblers.” In case you don’t know what “cobblers” are, think of the berries part of “twig and berries” or the beans part “franks and beans.”
At first, Harry yelped in pain… but kept drinking. This was highly amusing to his friends.
After a while, though, Harry excused himself to go into the other room, where he promptly passed out on the bed.
His friends let him sleep, unaware that the ponytail holder was still tightly wound around his “boys.”
Hours later, Harry wound up at the hospital.
The lack of circulation for several hours had rendered him permanently infertile.
Meghan Markle was furious that Harry had ruined their chances to conceive a child naturally!
She was also angry with his friends and demanded that Harry cut them completely out of his life. He eventually did exactly that.
Not wanting to end the relationship, Meghan suggested that Harry ask William to donate his sperm so that they could have a child.
As we noted in the original blind item, that idea was soon being debated by the entire British Royal Family!
They thought it inappropriate that the future King of England serve as a sperm donor. They decided that Prince Andrew – The Queen’s favorite – would be chosen as the sperm donor instead.
Meghan was unhappy with the decision – as she really wanted William – but was determined to mother a royal baby. She accepted the family’s decision.
After Prince Andrew was publicly named in the Jeffrey Epstein scandal, Meghan and Harry both sought to distance themselves from Prince Andrew and the rest of the family.
However, as they want all of their children to be full siblings to each other, they will continue to use the banked eggs that were fertilized by Prince Andrew.
The Second Baby will be a full sibling to Baby Archie.
And Harry will continue to fix Meghan’s ponytail.
Every time he does that, remember this: ‘Twas the ponytail that done him in!
Congratulations to Jfor being first with the correct answer! That Jessica Fletcher sure is one fine detective!
Blind Gossip has obtained EXCLUSIVE ultrasound images of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s second baby!
It’s a girl!
She will probably look like that gorgeous redhead baby in the original blind item.
Scroll down to see the ultrasound for yourself!
Did you believe this crazy story?
If you did, you are an April Fool!
Every year, folks. Every year.
The idea for this year’s April Fool’s blind item combined the many conspiracy theories floating around about Baby Archie Harrison… Harry’s strained relationship with William… the scandalous downfall of Prince Andrew… and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s controversial move away from the British Royal Family.
Throw in the photo of Harry fixing Meghan’s ponytail… and you’ve got one wacky blind item perfect for April Fool’s Day!
Thanks to everyone for playing along (and please do NOT try The Ponytail Challenge at home)!
Here are our previous April Fool’s Day blind items:
2019: Pregnancy Bombshell
2018: Baby Baby Baby: Part 3
2016: New Group
2013: Grooming The Children
2012: He Was Not Born A Male
2011: Triple Gay Announcement
We hope you enjoyed this year’s joke blind item!