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A Shocking Name Change

SOLVED!

[Blind Gossip] This blind item involves one of the most interesting intersections of sports and politics ever!

There is an NBA player whose name change brought a lot of attention.

No, we’re not talking about Lew Alcindor. Alcindor changed his name to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1968 and went on to reign supreme on the basketball court for decades.

We are actually talking about Enes Kanter.

Kanter is an NBA player who has played for multiple teams, including the New York Knicks, the Portland Trail Blazers and the Boston Celtics.

Kanter was born in Switzerland of Turkish parents. He is an activist as well as an athlete. Much to the chagrin of the NBA, he has been very vocal about China’s treatment of minority groups.

Kanter recently became a United States citizen. To celebrate this milestone and demonstrate his commitment to democracy, he legally changed his name to Enes Kanter Freedom. Yes, Freedom!

On to our blind item.

There is a famous man serving in very high office in the United States who paid a lot of attention to Enes Kanter Freedom’s name change.

Our man has literally been in the public eye for decades. While it would be nearly impossible to dislodge him from his current esteemed position, there are certainly those who would like to try.

Right now, he is in a bit of hot water.

Well, not really him. A relative. However, his proximity to the controversy around the relative’s activities has left him vulnerable in his current job.

He definitely does not want people to judge him based on his relative’s activities. He needs a distraction.

Thanks to Enes Kanter Freedom, he may have found one: He is going to legally change his name!

He secretly loves what Enes Kanter Freedom did and he will be announcing his own name change next week. A Petition for Change of Name can take up to three months. Then it still has to be approved by the courts.

He will be filing immediately and aims to have the name change complete by the Fourth of July.

Nice timing, right? Very patriotic. Let freedom ring!

No one in his position has ever done this before, so this shocking announcement will certainly dominate the headlines for a few days… and perhaps provide the distraction he is looking for.

What name has he chosen? Well, like Enes Kanter, his current first and last names are going to become his new first and middle names.

For his new last name, he is going to take on the surname of one of the first three Presidents of the United States of America.

Our man is moving on up!

If you say all three names together, it does sound rather distinguished.

However, it may also prove very controversial.

Similar: His Food Rebounded At The Table

New Name:

Clues:

[Optional] What do you think of his new name? Good idea or bad idea?

SOLVED!

New Name: Clarence Thomas Jefferson

In an unprecedented move, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has just filed to officially change his name to honor a President of The United States!

His new legal name will be Clarence Thomas Jefferson. Yes, Clarence Thomas Jefferson.

Here is an excerpt from the formal announcement that will be released on Monday:

Justice Clarence Thomas was deeply moved by the story of NBA star Enes Kanter adopting the new name of Enes Kanter Freedom to celebrate his United States citizenship.

As a renowned constitutional scholar, Justice Thomas has always had great respect for the Founding Fathers of the United States of America.

Thomas Jefferson’s accomplishments as the principal author of the Declaration of Independence, the first Secretary of State, Vice President, leader of the first political opposition party, and third President of the United States were crucial in shaping the look of the nation’s capital and defining the powers of the Constitution and the nature of the emerging republic.

Thomas Jefferson believed in all of the principles of freedom for which Justice Thomas continues to fight every day.

These shared values have guided Justice Thomas throughout his life and career and have inspired him to now change his name to honor his hero, Thomas Jefferson.

Upon approval by The United States District Court for the District of Columbia, Justice Clarence Thomas will henceforth be known as Justice Clarence Thomas Jefferson.

While it may seem like a lovely gesture for him to change his name to honor his hero, we anticipate a that this may create a wee bit of controversy!

Clarence Thomas Jefferson is black. Thomas Jefferson was white. Someone somewhere is going to take offense at that.

Thomas Jefferson was a slave owner. He allegedly fathered six children with Sally Hemings, a mixed race woman who was one of his slaves.

Finally, the timing of this name change is a little suspicious.

Clarence Thomas Jefferson’s wife, Virginia “Ginni” Roberts, has a history of political activism for conservative causes.

Ginni attended a rally which preceded the January 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. Capitol. She left before President Trump addressed the crowd, but her very presence there now has people questioning whether she was involved in planning the attack in any way.

Since her husband serves on The Supreme Court – which may rule on specific aspects of the events that occurred – some are demanding that Justice Jefferson recuse himself from any proceedings involving January 6.

Perhaps changing his name to Clarence Thomas Jefferson is his way of both affirming his patriotism and changing the narrative?

We’ll see what happens!

Did you catch the clues?

“He definitely does not want people to judge him…” = Clarence Thomas Jefferson is a judge.

“Our man is moving on up!” = Moving On Up was the theme song to that classic TV sitcom, The Jeffersons.

Congratulations to those of you who got this one right, starting with Curiouser&curiouser!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  3. findthetime says

    Joseph Biden Jefferson, you know, The Big Guy? Seriously?? High esteemed position, son in hot water, needs to distract …. Enes Kanter Freedom is a brave HERO to be congratulated for speaking out.

    • T W Longtime Lurker says

      I’m black. A lot of black people do not like Clarence Thomas. If he changes his name to that of a slave owner who kept a female slave as his “lover” then he needs to be evaluated for psychosis.

  5. EastlakeGirl says

    Really?!! Does he actually think becoming Clarence Thomas Jefferson is a winning tactic? I can’t even!!!

  6. aaalynne says

    Thomas Clarence Jefferson (Clarence Thomas)

    Clues: “doesn’t want people to JUDGE him”, movin’ on up

  9. ginafair says

    The whole time I’m reading this I’m thinking Hunter Biden…but seriously – I have a hard time believing President Joseph Biden will be changing his name to Bush Obama Trump – or George Barrack Donald. Hmmmm

  14. angelbratt says

    Joe biden Jefferson

    President, relative the treasonous Hunter biden. And changing his name won’t earn him any respect-he’s a loser and a rotten, treasonous son of a snitch!

  18. aimless spectator says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson would be a very appropriate name for an advocate of natural rights as fundamental law, as was Thomas Jefferson the President.

  20. VegasMike says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson

    Very High Office – Supreme
    Moving on up – The Jeffersons
    Relative in trouble would be his most delightful and patriotic wife (just kidding – just his wife)

  22. Jem1Jem1 says

    Please say you are kidding! Clarence Thomas is married to Virginia, who was involved with planning and encouraging the January 6, 2021 Capitol insurrection.

    It sounds like he might be considering taking Jefferson as his last name (“moving on up”). Clarence Thomas Jefferson!

  23. jimjambanks says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson?

    It does have a nice ring to it, but it is a really dumb idea.

  25. badnewsbear says

    SCOTUS Justice Clarence Thomas with his crazy wife Ginnie under investigation for her involvement pre- and post-January 6th events.

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson (hint: moving on up)

  28. DPointDane says

    Justice Clarence Thomas (Jefferson).

    Clues: “esteemed,” “judge,” “moving on up” (theme song from TV show “The Jeffersons.”

  29. parkland45 says

    Raphael Eduardo “Ted” Cruz is changing his name to Raphael Cruz Jefferson. Yes, dignified 😎.

  31. travio says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson

    His wife is crazy and the ‘moving on up’ line references the 70s show the Jeffersons.

  32. Everyday Angel says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson

    This is a bizarre thing to do and I hope it doesn’t actually happen.

  33. JulientK says

    Our fearless leader, Joe Biden? That’s the only person whose relative could be facing federal charges that I’m aware of. If this is him, it’s certainly on brand for him to do something this tone deaf.

    • lila8245 says

      Clarence Thomas is married to a woman under investigation for her role in the January 6th events. This could just as easily be him.

  36. badgerette85 says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson

    Clues – difficult to impeach = life term
    Wife in hot water for texts
    High office/judge= SCOTUS
    Moving on up = George “Jefferson”

  37. aaaics11 says

    Clarence Thomas Jefferson

    Clues: Nearly impossible to dislodge = Supreme Court Justices are appointed for life
    family member in spotlight = wife’s involvement with Jan. 6th and contact with White House Officials and activist groups