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The Table Slapper

[Blind Gossip] This actor is a consummate professional. However, he is also used to getting what he wants. So when he got rejected twice in the past few months, he did not handle it well!

They were trying to line up a new girlfriend to help out with the marketing. Both of the girls (via their agents) supposedly balked with flimsy excuses. He was mad. He was slapping the table and saying, “God damn it! (slap, slap) Didn’t you explain what kind of opportunity this would be? I don’t have time to deal (slap) with this! Take care of it!” I didn’t hear the rest of it.

We’re guessing that “Take care of it!” meant to find him another girl.

Perhaps being the girlfriend of a big movie star just isn’t as appealing as it used to be? Or perhaps actresses saw what being with him did to his last wife and aren’t so eager to jump on the bandwagon of his weird life choices…

Similar: Time For The Beardy Girlfriend

Actor:

[Optional] You are a young, single, attractive actress. He asks you to be his girlfriend for the next six months. Your response?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Tbilll says

    T.C. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about sex.
    Why is he even popular any more? Many have lost favour for being less of a jerk.

  3. filmsbyk says

    Vanessa Kirby was eager to be his next contract gf, so eager that she had her PR putting the rumor about Tom being crazy about her. He didn’t liked it though, she’s such a fame thirsty woman. Just checkout her red carpet insane posing at the latest Emmys. Claire Foy was fuming by how Kirby would try to steal the spotlight. He better find a cult member to be his partner, nobody with a brain would willingly go through that hell, unless they’re already a member. Prepon and Foster just an…

  4. Marvella says

    Tom Cruise.
    It seems that by now everyone would know it’s no longer a good deal for an actress.
    I don’t understand why he requires a “beard” anyway. By all real accounts he’s straight. He must have a secret Scientology wife or girlfriend who is not public presentable. Maybe he remains celibate for his position in the Church? It’s just all too weird.

  8. ivyleaguer says

    Tom cruise
    No. why should any woman deal with his transparent bearding and his controlling behavior. His career is toast and he’s the only one who doesn’t realize it.

  9. DaniJo says

    Tom Cruise

    I just don’t understand the idea that it’s better for an actor to be attached in order to market a film. I’ve never looked at the relationship of an actor or their cute kids and thought that I need to go see their latest film. For me, it’s all about the storyline of that particular movie.

  10. Aunt Hatties Buns says

    Tommy Cruise?

    For 6 months I could do it, but that’s about as long as I could go, I think

  16. nadezhda says

    this is tom cruise. from jumping on the couch he graduated to slapping the table.

    (optional) if it’s just a 3-month contract & i get loads of money, sure why not.

  18. My2Brows says

    Tom Cruise. He cray-cray.

    Short story time: I was a Scientologist for like, a month, just to see for myself what it was about. I told myself that the first crazy thing I heard or read or witnessed, I was OUTTA there. Long story short, I lasted a month. I didn’t even make it onto “The Bridge”. I was like, NOPE. PEACE.

  19. research boy says

    Tammy Cruise, of course. Clue “jump on” the bandwagon, referencing the infamous Oprah couch-jumping incident. (But “weird life choices”? Surely, you are not speaking ill of Xenu, are you? The Clam Clan won’t like that…)

    Six months? Well, it’s better than the 5 years Katie Holmes had to put in, and Nicole even re-upped for 10. Still, I don’t know.

  21. Brunettetalk says

    Slap — Tom Cruise the weirdo control king. Why would anyone volunteer for such servitude? He’s getting what he deserves — a life alone.

  27. Tootles says

    Lose-ie Cruise(e)

    Tom Cruise
    Not a good gig, it would be a nightmare, a poor career move and would probably make my skin crawl having to pretend to do anything with him

  28. Sawyer21 says

    Actor: Tom Criuise

    [Optional] You are a young, single, attractive actress. He asks you to be his girlfriend for the next six months. Your response? No thank you Mr Cruise ??

  38. mona lisas and mad hatters says

    Tom Cruise

    Not in a billion years.

    Fortunately I’d never be asked as at 5′ 7″ I’m too tall.
    And don’t meet the listed requirements… what a relief! lol

  42. justcurious says

    Well obviously little tommy. And for the optional, if i was an actress hell no that’s a career destroyer! But as a nobody, sure why not as long as I’m comped well ?

  43. ladydee says

    Tom Cruise. I would probably be his girlfriend for 6 months. If you keep your eyes open and know what you are signing up for then it should be ok. Is he known for being abusive to the women? If so then no.

  44. thisisannoying says

    Tom Cruise

    Optional: depends on the monetary perks for me… No way would I get into Scientology though

  47. Babakazoo says

    Definitely Tom Cruise

    Slapping the table – Jerry McGuire

    Last Wife – Katie Holmes

    Weird Life Choices – Scientology

  48. LolaLockdale says

    Actor : Tom Cruise

    He’s past his prime, dating him doesn’t get any young actor/model much good press and his religion probably scares a lot of people away.

    Optional: Hell no and I have pretty low standards when it comes to celebs but I’d never fake date Cruise / Dicaprio or Cooper

  50. Flanky says

    Hahaha, this has gotta be tommy-boy!
    Optional: And though I’m a straight dude, if i were an actress, I’d not want any part of that wackaloon and his creepy cult!

  57. Max Power says

    Tom Cruise.

    I would think there’d be someone in the scientology community who’d want the fame but I wonder if his relevance and power in Hollywood is waning?

  58. lucasj says

    Tom Cruise

    Part of me totally buys into infiltrating the place… finding out are the dirty secrets of society while pretending to totally buy into what they’re selling// then when I’ve gathered enough proof, exposing all of those manipulative psychos for what they are and getting them all thrown in jail. ahh. but in reality I would never be able to be that sly haha

  60. proloz says

    We all know this is whack job Tom. No way would I be anyone’s fake girlfriend, especially his. He’s been so programmed by scientology I don’t know if he could ever get out. That cult is invented by a writer who said the way to get rich was create a religion.

    I don’t need to be cleared of my alien particles. Lol.?

  70. DM1225 says

    Cruise.

    I’d pass. The jig is up — he’s not fooling anyone and being his beard makes a joke of whoever takes the gig.

  73. misstilley says

    Tom Cruise

    How much? I don’t mind a lil crazy if I’m laughing all the way to the bank!

  100. narffy says

    It has to be Tom Cruise. I could probably tolerate about six months of the b u l l but probably not much more.

  102. Insiderher says

    No idea! It must be a young & famous gay actor to want to hire a beard. With the SLAP ?? clues, young, cute & with a rep for hitting people. I’m gonna guess Jonathan Schwartzman-is that his name? Talia Shire’s son? Cus he’s gay & he wears his hair that way sometimes. But he’s likely 40 now so this is a dumb guess!
    I’ll throw out Casey Affleck, who isn’t gay-but may have trouble finding a high profile partner now because abuse. And actors who are too old for this blind: Tom ? Jim Carey

  105. Lucywagner says

    Tom Cruise

    Optional: Probably, it’s only 6 months, and there would be a lot of advantages

  107. Goodgrief says

    Tom Cruise. No amount of money would make me want to jump on the bandwagon, or the couch or his crazy train.

  109. kittypryde777 says

    Actor: Tom Cruise (clues: jumping on the bandwagon = when he jumped on the couch on Oprah)
    Optional: Maybe – but not with him!!

  116. 4sixx2 says

    Tiny Tommy. Katie was the last young catch he’ll get. He’s just not attractive to young Hollywood anymore.

  117. melrose71 says

    Tom Cruise. I would never get involved with a Scientologist even if it’s for a fake relationship.

  118. AliekaZola says

    Tom Cruise

    I’m not going to lie, I’ll do it for 6 months. I’ve got debts to pay lol.

  121. Blkgoddess says

    Tom Cruise.

    HELL no. Not for all the $$$ in the world, not for all the tea in China. He ruined Katie Holmes’ career and her life in some ways. He abandoned the child he contracted her to have with him. Scientology’s got him by the balls. No way would I get mixed up in any of that baggage he’s got.

  123. pnwpersonkim says

    that old fart tom cruise comes to mind. always heard stories about his fake relationships. he is def not a catch!

  126. pflower says

    Tommy boy, I’d do it if i did not yet have an established career and could use the publicity. But i would probably reject if i wanted to build a certain image for myself.

  130. ccattwood says

    Gotta be couch jumpin’, table slappin’ Tommy Boy Cruise. I’d never be able to do this type of contract, nope. That follows you all your life. Plus, run as fast and far away as you can from $cientology.

  131. Jester says

    Tom Cruise, no doubt at all.

    I would deny him, honestly. Way back when and I was a young actress, I probably would to get ahead. Now with his looks (ugh!) and reputation, NO way in hell! I think it would hurt my career now after his shinanigans with his previous past TWO wives…

    • Boring Saturday Morning Icks says

      Congratulations…admitting you’d have done this as a young actress to “get ahead” puts you about a half-foot away from letting ‘ol Harvey have hisself a time with you.

    • Persie says

      You are a young, single, attractive actress. He asks you to be his girlfriend for the next six months. Your response?

      I fit all those adjective except the “actress’ part and contrary to all answer, for six month, I would definitely agree to be his girlfriend.it doesn’t seem bad to follow the rules for six months.I need a job, and if being a fake girlfriend for 6M and all they expect from me is to smile and keep my mouth then I am in. I have no friends,keep to myself.And the money will be…

    • fufufrankie says

      Cruise is angry & controlling. What woman wants to end up estranged from her kids or have to plot her escape months in advance & flee in the dark of night like Nicole & Katie? After what he did to his ex-wives, it’s fitting that Tom is on the receiving end of ridicule & rejection from eligible women & the public. Even if he leaves the cult now, the Tom Cruise “brand” is damaged goods. He’s become the butt of the joke & he deserves it. My answer would not just be no, but HELL no!

    • stanton says

      No Woman Tom’s age will ever date him because they will “Call Him Out on His Crap”. THink about it “3 Marriages & 3 Divorces” . It can’t be all their faults.

    • PollyMetropolitan says

      Cruise actually has been married three times. Everyone forgets about Minnie Driver. I think she is the one who introduced him to Scientology.

    • Silverdun says

      Sorry but no sane woman would touch him with a bargepole. Crazy doesn’t even begin to describe him. Nothing is worth getting involved, however fake, with people like this. Have some self respect please. Or pay a very high price. These woman who refused him are wise. You can get to the top without this kind of lunacy.

    • spaceship says

      That’s my guess too, however, I wouldn’t be that Scientologist nut job’s girlfriend for 6 minutes let alone 6 months! Anyone that doesn’t know Tom Cruise’s relationship ways by now, must have buried their heads in the sand……….all women should steer clear of that guy, unless they want a life of heartache and pain.

  133. MikeInSanJose says

    Getting a Tom Cruise vibe, but not sure I would call him a “professional”. He lost that title (in my mind) back in his couch-jumping days…

    • MikeInSanJose says

      Optional: Absolutely not! Guaranteed he will try his high-pressure recruitment for the Co$. 6 months is a L-O-N-G time to spend in the company of all those Hubbardites!

  135. splashy says

    Gotta be Tom Cruise.

    Optional: You couldn’t pay me enough to put up with him.
    Also not worth the hit to my reputation – lol!

  137. TeaDrinker says

    Tom Cruise
    Optional: Heck no! He’s no longer at that time of his career where he could greatly positively affect an upcoming actor’s career. As a matter of fact, he could ruin someone’s career if she’s with him. In other words, he’s toxic both professionally and personally.

    • shaunna says

      Upvote +1000 His secret is out. Everyone would know the BFF was a beard and it makes her look stupid. I can’t imagine being Nicole Kidman and staying in that marriage for 11 years and supposedly having to give up two children. Then she does 7 films for Harvey Weinstein. The depths some will go to, to be famous, is mind numbing. .

  140. pajuxy says

    Tom Cruise.

    No way, Jose. He’s going to have to date an unknown. Who’s going to want to date him who has other options? Too controlling and too weird.

  141. TheodoreDonaldKerabatsos says

    Tom Cruise

    How many zeros and make sure the taxes are taken care of to. Lots of clauses myself…it’s a job.

  143. LizzieBennet says

    Actor: Tom Cruise

    You are a young, single, attractive actress. He asks you to be his girlfriend for the next six months. Your response?: No way would I accept to be his girlfriend for the next six months (or for any length of time, for that matter).

  147. spellbinding says

    Table slapper makes me think of couch jumper…idk Tom cruise?

    Weird lifestyle choices indeed. LOL. *. I’d balk too. A call from him asking to be his girlfriend is scarier than any call in a horror movie.

    So that would be my response. No way man!!!!

    • xXCartoonXx says

      If I were a young single female actor I would say “no thank you” in the most polite fashion.

  151. amagod121 says

    Ooh, Tommy Tippy Toes Cruise!

    Sure, IF I don’t get followed around by his goonies or forced to do what the Co$ wants. A short-term gf shouldn’t have to put up with any of their [email protected]

    • KatarinaJ says

      Yeah think women have learned and heard too much. Don’t agree unless you put a LOT of terms in your contract like NO you will not entire Scientology, etc. etc.

    • jj the great says

      Honestly, I think it’s past that. I don’t think he’ll be able to get a GF outside of Scientology. And it would have to be someone who’d been a Scientologist for at least ten years, since they’re not allowed to watch anything negative about Scientology and therefore wouldn’t have seen most of Tom’s antics. Scientologists are the only woman left alive who’d think it was “prestigious” to be in a PR relationship with Tom Cruise… bc it would be, in their world.