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The Table Slapper

[Blind Gossip] This actor is a consummate professional. However, he is also used to getting what he wants. So when he got rejected twice in the past few months, he did not handle it well!

They were trying to line up a new girlfriend to help out with the marketing. Both of the girls (via their agents) supposedly balked with flimsy excuses. He was mad. He was slapping the table and saying, “God damn it! (slap, slap) Didn’t you explain what kind of opportunity this would be? I don’t have time to deal (slap) with this! Take care of it!” I didn’t hear the rest of it.

We’re guessing that “Take care of it!” meant to find him another girl.

Perhaps being the girlfriend of a big movie star just isn’t as appealing as it used to be? Or perhaps actresses saw what being with him did to his last wife and aren’t so eager to jump on the bandwagon of his weird life choices…

Similar: Time For The Beardy Girlfriend

Actor:

[Optional] You are a young, single, attractive actress. He asks you to be his girlfriend for the next six months. Your response?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  5. amagod121 says

    Ooh, Tommy Tippy Toes Cruise!

    Sure, IF I don’t get followed around by his goonies or forced to do what the Co$ wants. A short-term gf shouldn’t have to put up with any of their [email protected]

  8. xXCartoonXx says

    If I were a young single female actor I would say “no thank you” in the most polite fashion.

  10. spellbinding says

    Table slapper makes me think of couch jumper…idk Tom cruise?

    Weird lifestyle choices indeed. LOL. *. I’d balk too. A call from him asking to be his girlfriend is scarier than any call in a horror movie.

    So that would be my response. No way man!!!!

  14. LizzieBennet says

    Actor: Tom Cruise

    You are a young, single, attractive actress. He asks you to be his girlfriend for the next six months. Your response?: No way would I accept to be his girlfriend for the next six months (or for any length of time, for that matter).

  16. TheodoreDonaldKerabatsos says

    Tom Cruise

    How many zeros and make sure the taxes are taken care of to. Lots of clauses myself…it’s a job.

  17. pajuxy says

    Tom Cruise.

    No way, Jose. He’s going to have to date an unknown. Who’s going to want to date him who has other options? Too controlling and too weird.

  20. TeaDrinker says

    Tom Cruise
    Optional: Heck no! He’s no longer at that time of his career where he could greatly positively affect an upcoming actor’s career. As a matter of fact, he could ruin someone’s career if she’s with him. In other words, he’s toxic both professionally and personally.

  22. splashy says

    Gotta be Tom Cruise.

    Optional: You couldn’t pay me enough to put up with him.
    Also not worth the hit to my reputation – lol!

  24. MikeInSanJose says

    Getting a Tom Cruise vibe, but not sure I would call him a “professional”. He lost that title (in my mind) back in his couch-jumping days…

  26. MikeInSanJose says

    Optional: Absolutely not! Guaranteed he will try his high-pressure recruitment for the Co$. 6 months is a L-O-N-G time to spend in the company of all those Hubbardites!

  27. Jester says

    Tom Cruise, no doubt at all.

    I would deny him, honestly. Way back when and I was a young actress, I probably would to get ahead. Now with his looks (ugh!) and reputation, NO way in hell! I think it would hurt my career now after his shinanigans with his previous past TWO wives…

  28. ccattwood says

    Gotta be couch jumpin’, table slappin’ Tommy Boy Cruise. I’d never be able to do this type of contract, nope. That follows you all your life. Plus, run as fast and far away as you can from $cientology.

  32. pflower says

    Tommy boy, I’d do it if i did not yet have an established career and could use the publicity. But i would probably reject if i wanted to build a certain image for myself.

  35. pnwpersonkim says

    that old fart tom cruise comes to mind. always heard stories about his fake relationships. he is def not a catch!

  37. Blkgoddess says

    Tom Cruise.

    HELL no. Not for all the $$$ in the world, not for all the tea in China. He ruined Katie Holmes’ career and her life in some ways. He abandoned the child he contracted her to have with him. Scientology’s got him by the balls. No way would I get mixed up in any of that baggage he’s got.

  40. AliekaZola says

    Tom Cruise

    I’m not going to lie, I’ll do it for 6 months. I’ve got debts to pay lol.

  41. melrose71 says

    Tom Cruise. I would never get involved with a Scientologist even if it’s for a fake relationship.

  42. 4sixx2 says

    Tiny Tommy. Katie was the last young catch he’ll get. He’s just not attractive to young Hollywood anymore.

  49. kittypryde777 says

    Actor: Tom Cruise (clues: jumping on the bandwagon = when he jumped on the couch on Oprah)
    Optional: Maybe – but not with him!!

  51. Goodgrief says

    Tom Cruise. No amount of money would make me want to jump on the bandwagon, or the couch or his crazy train.

  53. Lucywagner says

    Tom Cruise

    Optional: Probably, it’s only 6 months, and there would be a lot of advantages

  56. Insiderher says

    No idea! It must be a young & famous gay actor to want to hire a beard. With the SLAP ?? clues, young, cute & with a rep for hitting people. I’m gonna guess Jonathan Schwartzman-is that his name? Talia Shire’s son? Cus he’s gay & he wears his hair that way sometimes. But he’s likely 40 now so this is a dumb guess!
    I’ll throw out Casey Affleck, who isn’t gay-but may have trouble finding a high profile partner now because abuse. And actors who are too old for this blind: Tom ? Jim Carey

  58. narffy says

    It has to be Tom Cruise. I could probably tolerate about six months of the b u l l but probably not much more.

  85. misstilley says

    Tom Cruise

    How much? I don’t mind a lil crazy if I’m laughing all the way to the bank!

  88. DM1225 says

    Cruise.

    I’d pass. The jig is up — he’s not fooling anyone and being his beard makes a joke of whoever takes the gig.

  98. proloz says

    We all know this is whack job Tom. No way would I be anyone’s fake girlfriend, especially his. He’s been so programmed by scientology I don’t know if he could ever get out. That cult is invented by a writer who said the way to get rich was create a religion.

    I don’t need to be cleared of my alien particles. Lol.?

  100. lucasj says

    Tom Cruise

    Part of me totally buys into infiltrating the place… finding out are the dirty secrets of society while pretending to totally buy into what they’re selling// then when I’ve gathered enough proof, exposing all of those manipulative psychos for what they are and getting them all thrown in jail. ahh. but in reality I would never be able to be that sly haha