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Cucumber And Avocado

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[Blind Gossip] It is both hilarious and remarkable how much these two female celebrities have in common!

Both of them married men much more famous than them.

Cucumber married a very wealthy older man.

Avocado married a very wealthy younger man.

Both women took charge of their husband’s health as soon as they started dating.

Cucumber taught her man yoga and encouraged him toward a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle. He lost weight and got healthier.

Avocado taught her man yoga and encouraged him toward a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle. He lost weight and got healthier.

Both women had careers before they were married but sought to elevate their profiles – and fatten their wallets – once they got married.

Cucumber’s husband shilled for a higher profile for his wife’s career.

Avocado’s husband shilled for a job for his wife’s career.

Both women got their husbands down the aisle relatively quickly.

Cucumber and her husband married less than two years after they met.

Avocado and her husband married less than two years after they met.

Both women are family oriented.

Cucumber got pregnant in her first year of marriage and had a healthy baby. Another pregnancy that ended unexpectedly was announced on social media and brought her a great deal of attention and sympathy.

Avocado got pregnant in her first year of marriage and had a healthy baby. Another pregnancy that ended unexpectedly was announced on social media and brought her a great deal of attention and sympathy.

Both women pretended not to know much about their husbands before they met them, even though both men are famous celebrities.

Cucumber told her husband that she didn’t really know who he was because they didn’t own a TV in the foreign country where she grew up. That’s an interesting bit of fiction.

Avocado told her husband that she barely knew who he and his family were before she met him. That’s an interesting bit of fiction.

Both women frequently talk about being “authentic.”

Cucumber says that her “thing” is about “being authentic.”

Avocado says that she chooses to move through the world “with authenticity.”

So there you have it. Two women with an awful lot in common.

We’re just not sure if what they have in common is authenticity… or narcissism… or grifting… or manipulation… or word salad!

Similar: The Man In The Plastic Mask

Cucumber:

Avocado:

[Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  3. leebie78 says

    Cuc is definitely Hilaria (aka Hilary) Baldwin. Good ruse she had there!

    Avocado seems like John Legends wife (blanking in her name) but the post mentions family, as if known, and I don’t think they were? So, maybe someone else? Markle , since she’s the focus of many posts here?

  7. jhaeded says

    Hilaria and meghan

    I don’t care about being first but I just want to commend BG on how smartly written this was! Oh, and the clues were just 👌🏻 (Hilarious and remarkable? Really?) 😂

  10. phillychick says

    Cucumber: Hilaria (Hilary) Baldwin

    Avocado: Sparkles

    Hilary is from Boston is very white and never had an accent until she realized it was chic. I believe she is bilingual and visited Europe often but the whole Hilaria thing is BS.

    Sparkles is the least genuine person on planet earth which makes her perfect for Harry who has no idea who he is. He is trapped now. I believe he will stay with her because he loves his son and doesn’t want to live on the other side of the world from him.

  13. Suzy Kew says

    Oh BG!I love these nicknames!
    Cucumber is Hilaria ( Hilary) Baldwin
    She was once on the Today show and asked “What do you call this in English? Cucumber?
    Avocado is Meghan Markle who loves avocado toast. What do I think of them? Not much. Not much at all I do however think they’re both very good at using their Man-ipulation skills .

  14. Gerseychick says

    Hillary Fake Baldwin lied about being born in Spain…Fake Spanish accent…Born in Boston to a wealthy family..Went to NYU and snagged Alec with her yoga moves..She is a fame * …Not liked by New York friends…..

    Amy Schumer had a career before she met her husband the chef…Amy has her own money and fame…She called out Fake Baldwin with her fake accent and could not say cucumber on the Today Show…..

  18. blubelle says

    Hilaria Baldwin and Meghan Markle

    A combination of greed, ambition, and narcissism appears to drive these two. Both are bottomless pits of need. Funny thing about people who claim to be authentic; they’re usually total frauds.

  19. VegetableLasagna says

    Hilary “Hilaria” Baldwin & Meghan Markle
    Nothing about either of them is normal. Hilary got caught in her own lie and this will happen to Meghan soon too.

  20. bertwheeler says

    Hilaria (Hillary) Baldwin
    Meghan Markle
    Anybody who needs to be a celebrity is already lacking normal behavior. Didn’t Yoko Ono claim she never heard of the Beatles before meeting John Lennon?

  32. ILUVCA4evr says

    Cucumber: Katherine McPhee/David Foster

    Avocado: The High Priestess of ‘ME’-Megan Markle

    What is going on with these two women? Social Climbing at its best (worst?!) Is their behavior normal? Nope. There is something seriously wrong with both. Their m.o. to ‘seal the deal’ with a baby (or two!) is pretty disgusting. That’s a human life, but they don’t care. Anything is fair game as a bargaining chip towards the eventual divorce…and it will end up that way.

  33. munkeemunkee says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin
    Avacado: Megan Markle

    They both reek of a top note of attention-seeking, a middle note of social climbing, and a strong base note of malignant narcissism. If they were a perfume they’d smell worse than Duty Free at Heathrow.

  35. GretaGuesses says

    Cucumber is Hillary Hillarious Baldwin. Avocado is Rachel MeAgain Markle.

    I think they’re both mental cases, phonies, narcissists and grifters & climbers. I think MM is actually the more “mental” of the two. She has personality traits that remind me of Jodi Arias.

  36. High Steppa says

    Hilaria Baldwin and Meghan Markle. Yes, they DO have a lot in common! Their behavior is normal for someone who is looking to reinvent herself, no matter what the price.

  45. BadBadJan says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    I think it is narcissism and manipulation for the power trip. I have to give them credit for being very successful, but that’s not a skill set of success that impresses me much.

  47. royalwatcher says

    Avocado is too obvious. Meghan, of course.
    I thought cucumber might be Melania, but the blind points to Hilaria/Hillary Baldwin. That fits. Though, turns out, she wasnt actually born in a foreign country after all!

  49. Drew12345 says

    Cucumber: Hillary Hayward-Thomas aka Hilaria Baldwin
    Avocado: Rachel Markle aka Meghan Markle

    This is not normal- it’s called fame seeking behavior. To lie and pretend you have no idea who your (famous) boyfriend now husband is..to find out the reasoning behind it is not true. Hillary is a white girl from Boston. Definitely owned a TV. Rachel posed in front of buckingham Palace and her whole “is he nice” comment didn’t land for me.

  65. TeacherKat says

    Abocado is obviously Megan Markel.
    Cucumber….is it Hillary Baldwin?

    Optional: normal? Not in my world. Maybe it’s different in celebrity world. I’m just glad I’m not a part of it!

  67. Kidd says

    Hillary Baldwin and Megan Markle.

    Hillary’s had five kids, more than one-late miscarriage, and shares her yoga lifestyle openly. The changing origin story, meh, who cares. People want to make themselves more interesting with some harmless embellishments, no? Alec knows her family and the truth.

    Markle is a condescending, patronizing opportunist.

  70. Conservaterian says

    Of course it is the gift that keeps on giving, Hillary Hayward Thomas/Hilaria Baldwin and the other grifter, Rachel Meghan Markle/Deluded Duchess of Sussex. Both will soon be divorced from their meal ticket/pension plan/insurance significant others.

  72. surfsunsand05 says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin, claiming to be Spanish but in reality is from Boston and her real name is Hilary.

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal? NO it’s not normal!

  74. jerseymom says

    Cucumber: Senora Hillaria Haywardo-Thomaso de Baldwin
    Avocado: Duchess Meghan Mememe Markle

    What is going on with these women: they’re living in a fantasy world
    Is their behavior normal: yes, to them. To the rest of the world – eye roll

  76. elliedee says

    Cucumber: Hilary/Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Rachel/Meghan Markle

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?

    For a certain type of narcissist this is “normal” – my sister became whatever was necessary to rope in her last 2 husbands and then set about changing them to fit her needs.

  77. Jodone says

    The cucumber might be Chrissy Tiegen and John Legend while the Avacado is definitely Meghan Markle and Hapless Harry. Megan is a well known avacado nut and the silly Christmas card with the picture of her and Husband and baby photoshopped is just that a ploy. It is time for the media to put them in the same garbage heap as all of the Khardashians, Uncle Randy Andy etc. and just ignore them. Maybe a short mention in the press when the Meg/Har divorce happens and thats it.

  78. ItsBouquet says

    Cucumber: Hillary “Hilaria” Baldwin. Apparently she forgot how to pronounce “cucumber” in English despite English being her first language.

    Avocado: Meghan Markle. She has a famous post of her friend coming to lunch and eating a cucumber sandwich. It was a cleverly disguised promotion for a teapot or something like that.

    The behaviour is normal but self-centered and they should be called out on it. You get all types of personalities unfortunately. Not people I would hang out with.

  80. Lis1234 says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Megan Markle

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?
    Narcissistic, attention seekers. Need professional help – so NOT normal.

  88. Carnac The Magnificent says

    Cucumber is Hillary Hayward-Thomas, otherwise known as Hilaria Baldwin.
    Avocado is Rachel Markle, otherwise known as Meghan Markle

    They did what they needed to do to land their dream men. It’s definitely above and beyond what the average gold-digger would do, but it’s not abnormal. They’re just really committed to the role.

  95. LadyRizzo says

    Cucumber: Hilary Baldwin (FKA Hilaria)
    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    They are both grifters and their idiotic husband’s deserve them for falling for the honey traps

    • montrealaise says

      If Alec actually believed ”Hilaria” when she told him she didn’t know who he was because there are no television sets in Spain, he’s even dumber than Harry (and I thought nobody could be dumber than Harry).

  98. aaaTR26 says

    Cucumber: Hillary “Hilaria” Hayward-Thomas Baldwin (What ees thees word?)

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    Both have a pathological need to lie for attention and to identify as exotic, woke “influencers.” Hilaria actually seems delusional.
    Meghan listed herself as Caucasian until it was to her advantage to access her exotic side. She seems a textbook case of NPD.

  99. rc_mags says

    Hilaria Baldwin
    MM
    Not normal behaviour for the rest of the world, but perhaps parts of California. As an influencer, how can anyone take Hilaria seriously if she misrepresents the most basic thing about herself? Why do people overlook the hypocrisy and follow anything these women say? Neither have a strong moral compass and both are very thirsty for fame and fortune. I wonder if it is worth it?

  100. Blackorchid85 says

    Hilaria “Hillary” Baldwin
    Meghan Markle

    How can get away with lying about their backgrounds like that? Reminds me of Rachel Dolezal – complete detachment from reality

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