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Cucumber And Avocado

[Blind Gossip] It is both hilarious and remarkable how much these two female celebrities have in common!

Both of them married men much more famous than them.

Cucumber married a very wealthy older man.

Avocado married a very wealthy younger man.

Both women took charge of their husband’s health as soon as they started dating.

Cucumber taught her man yoga and encouraged him toward a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle. He lost weight and got healthier.

Avocado taught her man yoga and encouraged him toward a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle. He lost weight and got healthier.

Both women had careers before they were married but sought to elevate their profiles – and fatten their wallets – once they got married.

Cucumber’s husband shilled for a higher profile for his wife’s career.

Avocado’s husband shilled for a job for his wife’s career.

Both women got their husbands down the aisle relatively quickly.

Cucumber and her husband married less than two years after they met.

Avocado and her husband married less than two years after they met.

Both women are family oriented.

Cucumber got pregnant in her first year of marriage and had a healthy baby. Another pregnancy that ended unexpectedly was announced on social media and brought her a great deal of attention and sympathy.

Avocado got pregnant in her first year of marriage and had a healthy baby. Another pregnancy that ended unexpectedly was announced on social media and brought her a great deal of attention and sympathy.

Both women pretended not to know much about their husbands before they met them, even though both men are famous celebrities.

Cucumber told her husband that she didn’t really know who he was because they didn’t own a TV in the foreign country where she grew up. That’s an interesting bit of fiction.

Avocado told her husband that she barely knew who he and his family were before she met him. That’s an interesting bit of fiction.

Both women frequently talk about being “authentic.”

Cucumber says that her “thing” is about “being authentic.”

Avocado says that she chooses to move through the world “with authenticity.”

So there you have it. Two women with an awful lot in common.

We’re just not sure if what they have in common is authenticity… or narcissism… or grifting… or manipulation… or word salad!

Similar: The Man In The Plastic Mask

Cucumber:

Avocado:

[Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. zappy2050 says

    Hmmmm….. I got to tell you – famous men like when you tell them “you have NO CLUE who they are” – not sure why. Roll eyes.

    Cucumber is Hilarious Baldwin.

    Avocado is Meghan Markle – sho is now pretening she and her mom did this together, while forgetting that her father had sole legal and physical custody of her from she was about 11/12 years old until she went to college. “Did you say father? what’s a father?”

    Hilarious Baldwin will survive – she will say she had Spanish…

  2. Siboney says

    I changed my mind. Every family has problems and every person has problems. Fame and wealth add on 2 additional problems. I listened to the podcast with Archie saying Happy New Year. It was hilarious. You could tell he is a very loved child. That’s what really counts in the end.

  6. Canadianna says

    Hilary Hayward Thomas

    Meghan Markle

    Serious mental issues going on with both of them–a deep and desperate need for constant attention being chief among them.

  10. droopyorchid says

    Cucumber: Hilaria and Alec Baldwin
    Avocado: Megan Markle and Prince Harry.

    Hilaria, in spite of the current scandal over how Spanish she is, and how old she is, seems really to love Alec. Their miscarriage was clearly genuine and tragic.

    Megan and Harry started with such potential, but either she is faking the whole thing, or the pair of them must have a curse on them to make so many missteps.

  12. laura1083 says

    Cucumber: Hillaria (Hillary) Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    Not normal behaviour at all from these two. They are frauds and live in their own fantasy world!

  13. cassadaga says

    Cucumber: Hillary “Hilaria” Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    What’s wrong with them? Having more thirst than integrity.

  21. aaaRori says

    cucumber — Hilaria Baldwin
    Avocado – Meghan Markle (by the way, she loves avocados and had them shipped to the U.K.)

  25. aaaLee says

    Hahahaha..they both knew exactly what they were doing…
    Cucumber aka ‘Hilaria’/Hillary Baldwin
    Avocado aka Meghan Markle

  26. LVoeMe says

    This is comedy gold!
    Cucumber is Hillary Baldwin- claiming her faux Spaniard heritage..
    Avocado is the gag worthy * of Wokeness in the flesh!

    Optional- they both suffer from form of narcissism- that they think they are smarter than the general public and that people can’t see through their thin veil of deception! They truly think they are so clever!!

  29. kittypryde777 says

    Cucumber: “Hilaria” Baldwin aka Hillary Hayward-Thomas
    Avocado: Meghan Markle
    [Optional] Both are supremely narcissistic and major grifters

  30. mrw222 says

    Cucumber – My first thought was that it was Kathryn McPhee, then Hilaria Baldwin but neither fit because they were born in the USA.

    Avocado – Megan Markle

  37. jelizabeth says

    Cucumber is certainly Hilaria Baldwin, now apparently it’s come out that she’s been faking an accent and lying about being spanish, run alec!

  38. thisisannoying says

    I was thinking Cucumber was Gigi Hadid and Avocado was Hailey Bieber but Hailey hasn’t had kids.. and Gigi hasn’t had a miscarriage

    Could Cucumber be Chrissy Teigen and Avocado be Meghan Markle?

  41. KiKiKate says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    Both of them are manipulative, thirsty, materialistic and more. I think they believe their own BS though so they’re also deluded.

  42. amagod121 says

    Cuke: Hillary Baldwin
    ‘Cado: Meghan Markle

    Optnl: Both women are desperately thirsty for fame and attention. Hillary especially, as she chose to marry angry Alec Baldwin. Is their behavior normal? SURE, if you adore attention and are thirsty for fame, which … “puts you there where things are hollow.”

  44. TeaDrinker says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin
    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    Optional: They’re both pathological liars and social climbers. Their behavior may be normal among social climbers but it’s not normal for “normal” people. It’s actually very sad that they hate themselves so much that they have to make up things to impress people.

  46. aaaczer says

    Cucumber = Halaria Baldwin

    Avacado = Meghan Markle

    Both these women are manipulative gold diggers. They are going to take their husbands to the cleaners when the divorces happen

  49. prinny says

    Cucumber is Hilaria Baldwin, though her heritage is now under debate but I gather she managed to spend enough time in Spain to convince ol’ Alec that she never heard of him.
    Avocado is none other than Megsy.
    Sure their behavior is normal. We all know gold diggers, right? They have existed since time immemorial.

  50. Haptive says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin. Clues: husband Alecsays her name sounds like “hilarious,” and she pretended she couldn’t remember the English word for cucumber.

    Avocado: Meghan Markle. Clues: she’s a fan of avocado toast.

    Is this normal? Not in the real world, but these two live in a fantasy world where they are the stars of the show and no one can see through their lies. If you have to announce your authenticity and constantly remind people you are authentic, you’re a fake.

  51. MrsCleaver says

    Cucumber is Chrissy Tiegan of the fake chipmunk cheeks.
    Avocado is the awful Meghan Markle. Who had a huge meltdown reportedly once, over no avocados where the was staying lol.

    They are both fame hoes. And no, they are not normal. They are both out for what they can get, money & fam.

  52. MinnieMe says

    Cucumber : Hillary Hayward-Thomas, also know as Hilaria Baldwin
    Avocado: Markle, of course.
    They both want the headlines to show they are such outstanding women of the world. They are both totally nuts.

  56. miss_tj says

    Cucumber: Hilary Baldwin
    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    I was noticing parallels in their narrative, it would be interesting to see if there was ever any contact/connection between them

  57. liv972 says

    Cucumber: HillarY Baldwin
    Avocado: Rachel Markle
    My personal touch: funny that they both have chosen to change their first name 🙂

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?
    They are gold diggers 2.0. We have discussed the fact they are narc. Watching their pathological lies, the way they behave end up believing what they are saying, isolating their husbands: I do wonder if they are not sociopaths.

  59. nycmadam says

    Chrissy Teigan

    Meghan Markle

    What’s going on? They’re classic gold diggers, just modernized for the current age. They hooked their men and immediately had an a baby which would insure a healthy income for at least a couple of decades. The only thing different is in the old days, gold diggers shut up and enjoyed their privilege and money in private. These two are addicted to fame.

  61. JacksHood says

    Hilaria and Meghan

    Hilaria can’t breath without social media and strikes me as a bit off. Meghan is definitely a grifter. She is as fake as they come. Harry is a putz. I feel sorry for their little boy.

  63. aleshamom4 says

    Wow 😳 Harsh
    🥒 Hilaria/Hilary Baldwin
    🥑 Sparkles ✨ Meghan Markle
    Cuckoo 😜. Crazy 😝

  64. VickyLou says

    Cucumber: Jessica Mulroney
    Avocado:Megan Markle

    [Optional] Behaviour: Normal for narcisissism, all be it at extreme high level. Markle tries to beat Mulroney, whether latter is a narcissist too idk.

  65. RonaBarrett says

    Katherine McPhee is the cuke & Meghan Markle the avocado. Didn’t they go to the same high school too? Really weird.

    They’re both unlikable.

  67. Siboney says

    Cucumber – Hilaria Baldwin and Alec Baldwin
    Avocado – Meghan and Harry
    I don’t know that much about Hilaria except her family lived in Spain and she and her husband have quite a few kids. Sleep apnea is dangerous so should use a c-pap. She doesn’t need to broadcast to everyone – I think he would rather she didn’t.
    I don’t see Meghan as authentic anymore. More manipulation. They can make as many deals as they want. But if they want privacy they should consider their options to do it…

  68. BAgurl says

    Cucumber is Hilaria Hillary Balwin
    Avocado is Meghan Markle

    Long time reader first time commenting!

  69. toronto says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin
    Avocado: Markle

    I don’t know enough about Hilaria, but all this mess is definitely not normal.

    Anyone who has had, or been to, a wedding will know that there’s a strong likelihood that Markle has a personality disorder. Huge red flag to announce a pregnancy to family on another bride’s big day. There has to be something wrong with you, and that’s the least offensive of her shenanigans.

  71. PlayaReina says

    Cucumber McPhee and Avocado
    Markle
    Their behavior is normal if you’re a couple of authentic manipulative narcissistic grifters

  72. beachchick218 says

    Hilary (FKA Hilaria) and Harry’s gold-digging wife.

    I know squat about about Hilary, but the gold-digger is a narcissistic wench. Not normal at all.

  73. Blackorchid85 says

    Hilaria “Hillary” Baldwin
    Meghan Markle

    How can get away with lying about their backgrounds like that? Reminds me of Rachel Dolezal – complete detachment from reality

  74. rc_mags says

    Hilaria Baldwin
    MM
    Not normal behaviour for the rest of the world, but perhaps parts of California. As an influencer, how can anyone take Hilaria seriously if she misrepresents the most basic thing about herself? Why do people overlook the hypocrisy and follow anything these women say? Neither have a strong moral compass and both are very thirsty for fame and fortune. I wonder if it is worth it?

  75. aaaTR26 says

    Cucumber: Hillary “Hilaria” Hayward-Thomas Baldwin (What ees thees word?)

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    Both have a pathological need to lie for attention and to identify as exotic, woke “influencers.” Hilaria actually seems delusional.
    Meghan listed herself as Caucasian until it was to her advantage to access her exotic side. She seems a textbook case of NPD.

  76. EmilyLou says

    Cucumber is Hilaria aka Hillary married to Alec Baldwin

    Avocado is * aka Rachel married to Prince Harry.

  78. LadyRizzo says

    Cucumber: Hilary Baldwin (FKA Hilaria)
    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    They are both grifters and their idiotic husband’s deserve them for falling for the honey traps

    • montrealaise says

      If Alec actually believed ”Hilaria” when she told him she didn’t know who he was because there are no television sets in Spain, he’s even dumber than Harry (and I thought nobody could be dumber than Harry).

  84. mountaingirl82 says

    Cucumber- Hilaria Baldwin. Couldn’t remember the word for cucumber
    Avocado- Meghan Markle. Raved about avo toast when she was in England.

  85. Carnac The Magnificent says

    Cucumber is Hillary Hayward-Thomas, otherwise known as Hilaria Baldwin.
    Avocado is Rachel Markle, otherwise known as Meghan Markle

    They did what they needed to do to land their dream men. It’s definitely above and beyond what the average gold-digger would do, but it’s not abnormal. They’re just really committed to the role.

  87. Mel1022 says

    I thought it was Meghan Markle and Melania Trump except that Donald Trump gained weight ala McDonalds!

  89. Sangfroid says

    Avodado is definitely * Meghan with her plagiarised miscarriage announcement. Dunno on la ‘cumber.

  93. Lis1234 says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Megan Markle

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?
    Narcissistic, attention seekers. Need professional help – so NOT normal.

  95. ItsBouquet says

    Cucumber: Hillary “Hilaria” Baldwin. Apparently she forgot how to pronounce “cucumber” in English despite English being her first language.

    Avocado: Meghan Markle. She has a famous post of her friend coming to lunch and eating a cucumber sandwich. It was a cleverly disguised promotion for a teapot or something like that.

    The behaviour is normal but self-centered and they should be called out on it. You get all types of personalities unfortunately. Not people I would hang out with.

  96. Jodone says

    The cucumber might be Chrissy Tiegen and John Legend while the Avacado is definitely Meghan Markle and Hapless Harry. Megan is a well known avacado nut and the silly Christmas card with the picture of her and Husband and baby photoshopped is just that a ploy. It is time for the media to put them in the same garbage heap as all of the Khardashians, Uncle Randy Andy etc. and just ignore them. Maybe a short mention in the press when the Meg/Har divorce happens and thats it.

  97. elliedee says

    Cucumber: Hilary/Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Rachel/Meghan Markle

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal?

    For a certain type of narcissist this is “normal” – my sister became whatever was necessary to rope in her last 2 husbands and then set about changing them to fit her needs.

  99. jerseymom says

    Cucumber: Senora Hillaria Haywardo-Thomaso de Baldwin
    Avocado: Duchess Meghan Mememe Markle

    What is going on with these women: they’re living in a fantasy world
    Is their behavior normal: yes, to them. To the rest of the world – eye roll

  100. claire2050 says

    Hillary Baldwin and Me-Meghan Markle.

    Both are thirsty, grasping, social climbing desperados.

  101. surfsunsand05 says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin, claiming to be Spanish but in reality is from Boston and her real name is Hilary.

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    [Optional] What is going on with these two women? Is their behavior normal? NO it’s not normal!

  103. Conservaterian says

    Of course it is the gift that keeps on giving, Hillary Hayward Thomas/Hilaria Baldwin and the other grifter, Rachel Meghan Markle/Deluded Duchess of Sussex. Both will soon be divorced from their meal ticket/pension plan/insurance significant others.

  105. 4sixx2 says

    By the way, can I add that your BEST CLUES EVER are “Hilarious and Remarkable”! 😂😂😂 (Hilaria and Markle) Love you! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

  106. Kidd says

    Hillary Baldwin and Megan Markle.

    Hillary’s had five kids, more than one-late miscarriage, and shares her yoga lifestyle openly. The changing origin story, meh, who cares. People want to make themselves more interesting with some harmless embellishments, no? Alec knows her family and the truth.

    Markle is a condescending, patronizing opportunist.

  108. TeacherKat says

    Abocado is obviously Megan Markel.
    Cucumber….is it Hillary Baldwin?

    Optional: normal? Not in my world. Maybe it’s different in celebrity world. I’m just glad I’m not a part of it!

  116. livewyre says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan ‘Megain’ Markle

    Attention seekers. Nothing authentic about them.

  117. LilOne says

    Cucumber: Hilaria/Hillary Baldwin
    Avocado: Megan Markle

    Optional: Social Climbers. Their behavior is abnormal hence why they are in Hollywoodland

  122. CanaryCry says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    They’re overly ambitious & manipulative. Nothing new under the sun …

  124. Drew12345 says

    Cucumber: Hillary Hayward-Thomas aka Hilaria Baldwin
    Avocado: Rachel Markle aka Meghan Markle

    This is not normal- it’s called fame seeking behavior. To lie and pretend you have no idea who your (famous) boyfriend now husband is..to find out the reasoning behind it is not true. Hillary is a white girl from Boston. Definitely owned a TV. Rachel posed in front of buckingham Palace and her whole “is he nice” comment didn’t land for me.

  126. royalwatcher says

    Avocado is too obvious. Meghan, of course.
    I thought cucumber might be Melania, but the blind points to Hilaria/Hillary Baldwin. That fits. Though, turns out, she wasnt actually born in a foreign country after all!

  128. BadBadJan says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle

    I think it is narcissism and manipulation for the power trip. I have to give them credit for being very successful, but that’s not a skill set of success that impresses me much.

  130. Vampira says

    Cucumber- Hilaria/Hillary Baldwin
    Avocado – Chrissy Teigan? Could be Elsa Pataky too, except for the miscarriage, which I don’t think she had.

  131. rayodeplata says

    Hilaria Baldwin
    Meghan Markle

    I don’t know much about Hilaria, but Meghan definitely has narcissistic behaviors

  132. Ramblingrose says

    Cuc is Hilaria B. Avo is Meghan M. Both just ambitious girls making their way in the world with a bit of help from hubby and his bank account.

  137. High Steppa says

    Hilaria Baldwin and Meghan Markle. Yes, they DO have a lot in common! Their behavior is normal for someone who is looking to reinvent herself, no matter what the price.

  138. GretaGuesses says

    Cucumber is Hillary Hillarious Baldwin. Avocado is Rachel MeAgain Markle.

    I think they’re both mental cases, phonies, narcissists and grifters & climbers. I think MM is actually the more “mental” of the two. She has personality traits that remind me of Jodi Arias.

  139. KlaireBear says

    Avocado is for sure Markle. Not sure about cucumber but I’m sure it’s probably obvious, I just don’t know off the top of my head.

  140. munkeemunkee says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin
    Avacado: Megan Markle

    They both reek of a top note of attention-seeking, a middle note of social climbing, and a strong base note of malignant narcissism. If they were a perfume they’d smell worse than Duty Free at Heathrow.

  141. ILUVCA4evr says

    Cucumber: Katherine McPhee/David Foster

    Avocado: The High Priestess of ‘ME’-Megan Markle

    What is going on with these two women? Social Climbing at its best (worst?!) Is their behavior normal? Nope. There is something seriously wrong with both. Their m.o. to ‘seal the deal’ with a baby (or two!) is pretty disgusting. That’s a human life, but they don’t care. Anything is fair game as a bargaining chip towards the eventual divorce…and it will end up that way.

  145. charlene2345 says

    Cucumber: Hilaria Baldwin

    Avocado: Meghan Markle.

    Optional: Both women are weird and phony, IMO.

  150. Pinkieswear says

    Markle and Chrissy Teigen. They’re both awful, and I’m guessing they both know some “professional tricks”. Their dumb husbands deserve them.

  152. Sleepyandconfused says

    Hilaria Baldwin and Markle

    They’re greedy social climbers. People like them are never happy and satisfied

  153. bertwheeler says

    Hilaria (Hillary) Baldwin
    Meghan Markle
    Anybody who needs to be a celebrity is already lacking normal behavior. Didn’t Yoko Ono claim she never heard of the Beatles before meeting John Lennon?

  154. VegetableLasagna says

    Hilary “Hilaria” Baldwin & Meghan Markle
    Nothing about either of them is normal. Hilary got caught in her own lie and this will happen to Meghan soon too.

  155. blubelle says

    Hilaria Baldwin and Meghan Markle

    A combination of greed, ambition, and narcissism appears to drive these two. Both are bottomless pits of need. Funny thing about people who claim to be authentic; they’re usually total frauds.

  156. mycull says

    Cucumber is Hilaria (Hillary) Baldwin who is NOT Spanish 😀
    Avocado is the hugely irritating Chrissie Tiegan

  159. Gerseychick says

    Hillary Fake Baldwin lied about being born in Spain…Fake Spanish accent…Born in Boston to a wealthy family..Went to NYU and snagged Alec with her yoga moves..She is a fame * …Not liked by New York friends…..

    Amy Schumer had a career before she met her husband the chef…Amy has her own money and fame…She called out Fake Baldwin with her fake accent and could not say cucumber on the Today Show…..

  160. Suzy Kew says

    Oh BG!I love these nicknames!
    Cucumber is Hilaria ( Hilary) Baldwin
    She was once on the Today show and asked “What do you call this in English? Cucumber?
    Avocado is Meghan Markle who loves avocado toast. What do I think of them? Not much. Not much at all I do however think they’re both very good at using their Man-ipulation skills .

  163. phillychick says

    Cucumber: Hilaria (Hilary) Baldwin

    Avocado: Sparkles

    Hilary is from Boston is very white and never had an accent until she realized it was chic. I believe she is bilingual and visited Europe often but the whole Hilaria thing is BS.

    Sparkles is the least genuine person on planet earth which makes her perfect for Harry who has no idea who he is. He is trapped now. I believe he will stay with her because he loves his son and doesn’t want to live on the other side of the world from him.

  166. jhaeded says

    Hilaria and meghan

    I don’t care about being first but I just want to commend BG on how smartly written this was! Oh, and the clues were just 👌🏻 (Hilarious and remarkable? Really?) 😂

  167. Cosmo says

    Avocado is Markle
    I thought cucumber was McPhee but I don’t think she has had a baby yet so I will go with Jessica Mulroney.

  170. leebie78 says

    Cuc is definitely Hilaria (aka Hilary) Baldwin. Good ruse she had there!

    Avocado seems like John Legends wife (blanking in her name) but the post mentions family, as if known, and I don’t think they were? So, maybe someone else? Markle , since she’s the focus of many posts here?