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Squeezing Out Some Coachella Excuses

woman long coat 2[Blind Gossip] Although her husband was performing, this celebrity skipped the festival.

Did you notice the double dose of excuses her camp released?

The first was that she was already booked for something else far away. The second was that she found her husband annoying.

The real reason she’s not at Coachella? She’s too fat!

It’s 90+ degrees outside, and the women there are walking around in daisy dukes and bikini tops.

If she wore the multiple layers of squeezy spandex garments and long coats she typically favors, she’d be roasting.

So they bundled her off to a cold-weather location and made up the story about the spat instead!

What’s this girl going to do when summer rolls around?

Similar: Weighty Extras

Wife:

Husband:

[Optional] How much do you think she weighs?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Notorious SBG says

    I was uncomfortable with agreeing that someone is too fat to attend a festival, until I realized it was about Kimye.

    If you are going to base your life & brand on a fake image that is a photoshopped & full of plastic surgery lies, that’s just Narcissism and denial. Don’t attack others for their weight, it could be health related (like maybe Rob for example).

    They pretend to be a healthy role models for women and deny the beauty team, lighting crew, photogs, surgeons, filters and apps,…

  3. peppermint twist says

    The Lard * who is too fat to go to the festival is Dimerberly Kardashian and Krazy Kanye. First thing she should do is get rid of those gross implants, they’re far to big for her tiny stature, and next lose that fat *. it’s not attractive and it makes her look even bigger. then there’s the kankles and the ugly clothes designed by her husband that are 3 sizes too small. it all adds to the train-wreck. My guess is Kim will be spending her summer at fat camp

  4. vodkabarbie says

    Of course her issues now are largely her fault because she has pushed her body as her only defining value ever since her career started, and yes, she needs to get over herself. But being called fat thousands of times a day when you can’t lose your pregnancy lbs quick enough is still something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I hope she learns a few lessons on empathy from this though.

  5. dontpanik says

    What kind of a sad world do we live in where you would rather the world think your marriage is in trouble than have them know you aren’t a size zero? That is just sick

  9. oliviam says

    Kimh*e
    Kanye #fingerinthebooty

    [optional] A LOT! lol

    I hope she’ll stays hidden when summer comes

  11. justcurious says

    Sounds like kim trashbag but I cbf googling to see if krazy kanye is playing anywhere. ..

  20. MightyMad says

    Wife: definitely Kim “The Human Toilet” Kardashian

    Husband: definitely Kanye “Off Hid Meds” West

    How much do you think she weighs? definitely 200 pounds.

    … Alright, alright – that’s mean.
    More probably in the ballpark of 160-180.

  26. oyevey says

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
    I just saw the photo of Kim K wearing a body suit with a fur coat in Iceland. Poor Kayne!

  30. einniw says

    Kim and Kanye. I’m actually surprised she hasn’t lost/ surgically removed the baby weight yet… I’m not a fan, but I highly doubt she weighs that much. Maybe 130/140 pounds? I guess in Hollywood that’s considered huge.

  35. Jester says

    Kim Kardashian and Kanye West!!!

    She’s on the short side, and I am not good with guessing weights, nor ages. However, ‘jest’ for sh#ts and giggles, I will ‘guestimate’ her weight to be 183 pounds. ?

  40. Henrietta says

    This is obviously supposed to be about Kim K. and Kanye West. But West really didn’t perform at Coachella. Well, he didn’t headline at least — the minimum that could possibly be expected from a “genius,” who has risked his life for his art. Can she really be expected to go to every event where Kanye may be tempted to jump up on stage?

  45. Mumumumu says

    Kim Kardashian. She is now visiting Iceland.

    Husband: Kanye West

    Weight: 200 pounds

  49. jrzygirl says

    Kimmy K and her trip to Iceland.

    Optional: How much does she weigh? The illustration isn’t far from the truth.

  50. woowoo says

    Kim K, of course.

    What bothers me about this is that she seems to be very intolerant of overweight people. She was ruthlessly mean to her brother about his weight and she just had an Instagram last week saying “fat fu*ks leaving chips out and tempting me”. Wow. Insensitive. Especially since she looks like she doesn’t pass up any chips. Whatever. Watching her swelter through another LA summer stuffed into spandex head to toe and wrapped in ugly trench coats is always good for an…

  59. Goodgrief says

    Who else but Kim Kardashian and Kanye. I don’t even want to go there on her weight.

  65. MerryB says

    Kim & Kanye. This is why you don’t get breast implants & butt implants before you have babies. Your body changes. Now she’s huge.

  70. Moonpie says

    Kimmy K and Kanye. I hope she wears her furs in the summer. That would be funny.

    She probably weighs 200 pounds at 5″0.

  71. MsBloodyMystery says

    Do not care who it is, but this is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How shallow can one be that one’s weight holds you back from enjoying a festival?

  80. chicagogirl says

    Kim Kardashian? Kanye wasn’t in the official lineup, but he did perform. She’s the only celebrity I can think of that wears shape wear almost 100% of the time. But if she is too fat to wear summertime clothing, I fear for the standards the rest of us have to live up to. Her proportions are strange due to all the surgery, and I do think that in pants or shorts, her rear looks like she’s wearing a very full diaper, but she’s not fat.

  82. kcphilly says

    Kim and Kayne

    She supposedly was going to NO for the funeral of Will Smith, Reggie’s old teammate which made Kayne mad.

    I doubt Kim is really “large” it’s just that compared to most LA girls she would look it and she’s said recently she wanted to drop another 20 pounds or something ridiculous like that.

    • kcphilly says

      Reading some of these comments that are guessing that Kim is 200+ pounds at her height…wow that is some crazy. Please don’t make me defend her. It’s crazy to say she weighs that much. I am the same height as her and had have my weight go up and down…no way she is over 200 unless those butt implants weigh 50 pounds.

    • FrankensteinsMonster says

      couldn’t agree more. Really bizarre that anyone thinks she’s that big. She’s between 130-140 at the very most. I’m short and weigh much less than 200 but she is heaps tinier than me so. What are people thinking?

  86. sourpatchadult says

    Wife/Beard: Kim Kardashian and husband: Kanye West. She’s gonna pass out from a heat stroke one of these days from all the spandex and long coats.

  88. Seahawks12 says

    Wife: Kim Kardashian

    Husband: Kanye “The Annoyer” West

    [Optional] How much do you think she weighs? About 180 lbs.

  91. Saphron says

    Kim & Kanye Kardashian.

    Kim is a lot of things, but fat is definitely not one of them. She is however very ignorant when it comes to dressing for her size/shape. As long as she’s healthy, who cares how much she weighs?! Our society’s obsession with weight is effing ridiculous!

  93. lisako says

    Kim Kardashian
    Kanye
    Aw! I can’t stand them but I’m not going to speculate on her weight. Not cool.

  97. my2cents says

    Although the picture reminds me of Mimi from “The Drew Carey Show ” ?
    I’m guessing this is Kim K and Kanye

  100. craicmehappy says

    Kim Kardashian of course.

    What’s she going to do in summer? Probably be promoting some weight loss/fitness product after having lipo…?

  112. I Am PunkA says

    KK
    Kanye

    KK is probably 145, but could easily get to 130, which is probably her ideal weight as a shorter girl.

    • Debir says

      I’m her height and weigh 108 lbs, and I’m not considered skinny. No way is 130 ideal for a person of 5’2″; that’s overweight. I went on a diet more than 20 yrs ago to lose 40 lbs, and she’s bigger than I was back then. Proper diet and exercise is all it takes, but then, I never had anything injected in my behind. The days of a slim KK are at least 10 years behind her. Oh, and I’ve had 3 pregnancies.

    • Lola99 says

      130 is actually pretty close to ideal for 5’2″ unless that weight is mostly fat. A woman with toned muscle and low body fat would look great at that weight. At 5’3″ when I weighed 122 I wore a size 0. But I was also in extremely good shape, low body fat and toned muscles. Everyone was always telling me to eat a cheeseburger.

    • gigipeach says

      I am Punka is right. Debir you are crazy. i am also 5’2” and looked great when i was between 120-125lbs. yes 130 i felt my clothes were tighter. at 109lbs my bones were protruding.

      I have been pretty much all weights (mostly cause of break ups – no eating disorder).

      after having a baby, i am currently 160 (and hate myself for it)… but my point is eveyrone saying she is over 200lbs is just plain crazy! she is at most 140.

  115. totskie says

    Kim Lardashian. She has to be a size 18. She is just huge, and no matter how many times she pays the rags to say she is thin, she’s not.

    • Martini says

      Yeah well she always looks “ok” in layered clothing and parkas. A bikini is another story entirely.

  121. Laughing1 says

    Oh Kim, honey, just give it up already. I can tell you that after personally having 2 kids myself, your body will NEVER be the same. You need to just accept it and move on.

  122. HollySleuth says

    “Wife” (Beard) – Kim k.

    “Husband” – Kanye

    (She was in Iceland …)

    [Optional] – I don’t even want to think about it. It disgusts me that I know as much about this family as I do …

    • ZoZo357 says

      HollySleuth… i feel the same way! When will their novelty wear off or at when will people find them just tooooo over-exposed!

    • amycurt says

      Lol she’s only 5’3! Celebs look thinner in person too which is a scary thought for some of them… She’s prob like 135