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Squeezing Out Some Coachella Excuses

woman long coat 2[Blind Gossip] Although her husband was performing, this celebrity skipped the festival.

Did you notice the double dose of excuses her camp released?

The first was that she was already booked for something else far away. The second was that she found her husband annoying.

The real reason she’s not at Coachella? She’s too fat!

It’s 90+ degrees outside, and the women there are walking around in daisy dukes and bikini tops.

If she wore the multiple layers of squeezy spandex garments and long coats she typically favors, she’d be roasting.

So they bundled her off to a cold-weather location and made up the story about the spat instead!

What’s this girl going to do when summer rolls around?

Similar: Weighty Extras

Wife:

Husband:

[Optional] How much do you think she weighs?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  6. HollySleuth says

    “Wife” (Beard) – Kim k.

    “Husband” – Kanye

    (She was in Iceland …)

    [Optional] – I don’t even want to think about it. It disgusts me that I know as much about this family as I do …

  7. Laughing1 says

    Oh Kim, honey, just give it up already. I can tell you that after personally having 2 kids myself, your body will NEVER be the same. You need to just accept it and move on.

  14. totskie says

    Kim Lardashian. She has to be a size 18. She is just huge, and no matter how many times she pays the rags to say she is thin, she’s not.

  17. I Am PunkA says

    KK
    Kanye

    KK is probably 145, but could easily get to 130, which is probably her ideal weight as a shorter girl.

  29. craicmehappy says

    Kim Kardashian of course.

    What’s she going to do in summer? Probably be promoting some weight loss/fitness product after having lipo…?

  32. my2cents says

    Although the picture reminds me of Mimi from “The Drew Carey Show ” ?
    I’m guessing this is Kim K and Kanye

  36. lisako says

    Kim Kardashian
    Kanye
    Aw! I can’t stand them but I’m not going to speculate on her weight. Not cool.

  38. Saphron says

    Kim & Kanye Kardashian.

    Kim is a lot of things, but fat is definitely not one of them. She is however very ignorant when it comes to dressing for her size/shape. As long as she’s healthy, who cares how much she weighs?! Our society’s obsession with weight is effing ridiculous!

  41. Seahawks12 says

    Wife: Kim Kardashian

    Husband: Kanye “The Annoyer” West

    [Optional] How much do you think she weighs? About 180 lbs.

  43. sourpatchadult says

    Wife/Beard: Kim Kardashian and husband: Kanye West. She’s gonna pass out from a heat stroke one of these days from all the spandex and long coats.

  47. kcphilly says

    Kim and Kayne

    She supposedly was going to NO for the funeral of Will Smith, Reggie’s old teammate which made Kayne mad.

    I doubt Kim is really “large” it’s just that compared to most LA girls she would look it and she’s said recently she wanted to drop another 20 pounds or something ridiculous like that.

  49. chicagogirl says

    Kim Kardashian? Kanye wasn’t in the official lineup, but he did perform. She’s the only celebrity I can think of that wears shape wear almost 100% of the time. But if she is too fat to wear summertime clothing, I fear for the standards the rest of us have to live up to. Her proportions are strange due to all the surgery, and I do think that in pants or shorts, her rear looks like she’s wearing a very full diaper, but she’s not fat.

  58. MsBloodyMystery says

    Do not care who it is, but this is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How shallow can one be that one’s weight holds you back from enjoying a festival?

  59. Moonpie says

    Kimmy K and Kanye. I hope she wears her furs in the summer. That would be funny.

    She probably weighs 200 pounds at 5″0.

  64. MerryB says

    Kim & Kanye. This is why you don’t get breast implants & butt implants before you have babies. Your body changes. Now she’s huge.

  70. Goodgrief says

    Who else but Kim Kardashian and Kanye. I don’t even want to go there on her weight.

  79. woowoo says

    Kim K, of course.

    What bothers me about this is that she seems to be very intolerant of overweight people. She was ruthlessly mean to her brother about his weight and she just had an Instagram last week saying “fat fu*ks leaving chips out and tempting me”. Wow. Insensitive. Especially since she looks like she doesn’t pass up any chips. Whatever. Watching her swelter through another LA summer stuffed into spandex head to toe and wrapped in ugly trench coats is always good for an…

  80. jrzygirl says

    Kimmy K and her trip to Iceland.

    Optional: How much does she weigh? The illustration isn’t far from the truth.

  85. Mumumumu says

    Kim Kardashian. She is now visiting Iceland.

    Husband: Kanye West

    Weight: 200 pounds

  90. Henrietta says

    This is obviously supposed to be about Kim K. and Kanye West. But West really didn’t perform at Coachella. Well, he didn’t headline at least — the minimum that could possibly be expected from a “genius,” who has risked his life for his art. Can she really be expected to go to every event where Kanye may be tempted to jump up on stage?

  95. Jester says

    Kim Kardashian and Kanye West!!!

    She’s on the short side, and I am not good with guessing weights, nor ages. However, ‘jest’ for sh#ts and giggles, I will ‘guestimate’ her weight to be 183 pounds. ?