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Nutbag And Douchebag

tall-man-short-man[Blind Gossip] This blind item involves two huge male stars. They don’t like each other… and we’re going to tell you the reason why!

We’ll call them Tall and Short.

Short is a very charismatic and religious guy. He has been nominated for an Oscar multiple times, but has never won. His shoes help him look taller than he is.

Tall is a handsome actor who frequently teams up with one of his childhood friends on projects. He has had great career success and has more than one Academy Award to his name.

A few years ago, Short was cast as the lead in a movie with a political bent. He dropped out of the project to do something else, and his role was offered to Tall.

For some reason, Short was offended by this, and said something like, “I can’t believe they offered that douchebag my role!”

Well, somehow that comment got back to Tall.

Tall’s response? “I can’t believe that nutbag has the nerve to call ME a douchebag! Hey, does he have an Oscar yet?”

And, of course, that comment eventually got back to Short. The two men have disliked each other ever since.

As a side note, Tall eventually dropped the role, too, and it went to a third famous actor who doesn’t have any kind of baggy nickname. Yet.

Similar: His Dating Pool

Tall “Douchebag”:

Short “Nutbag”:

[Optional] Do you think they came up with accurate nicknames for each other?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. monica says

    Tall is Ben Affleck (childhood friend is obviously Matt Damon), Short is Tom Cruise.

    lol watch it Tom, calling Ben a douchebag may come back to bite you later (and it did).

  2. KCeagle says

    Tall actor: Ben Affleck

    Shorty short: Tom Cruise.

    Maybe Tom was trying to “cruise” Affleck and was rejected. $cientology appears to have Tom Cruise firmly in their grasp, something about that billion year contract they purportedly have members sign.

  3. chatteryteeth says

    Tall: Ben Affleck-oscars for argo and goodwill hunting
    Short:Tom Cruise-nominated but never won
    the movie was Focus
    Will Smith got the role-clue being baggy for The Legend of Bagger Vance

  4. MikeInSanJose says

    Tom Cruise – Short
    George Clooney – Tall
    Man from U.N.C.L.E. role eventually went to Henry Cavill

  10. amagod121 says

    Tall: Ben Affleck
    Short: Tommy Boy Cruise and his Religion Impossible, of course.
    Yeah, great nicknames for both! But I especially love Affleck’s response to Cruise. Well played, sir, well played!

  15. HaNeull says

    Tall: George Clooney (5’11”)
    Short: Tom Cruise (5’7”)

    Both were, at various points, set to star in “The Man from U.N.C.LE” but ultimately had to drop. Henry Cavill eventually took the role.

    Optional: At the very least, “nutbag” is an accurate assessment for Cruise.

    • chatteryteeth says

      Tall: Ben Affleck-oscars for argo and goodwill hunting
      Short:Tom Cruise-nominated but never won
      the movie was Focus
      Will Smith got the role-clue being baggy for The Legend of Bagger Vance

  28. Jewelsster says

    It seems that alledgedly Tall is Ben Affleck and Short would be Mr Tom Cruise.

    I have no idea if the names suit either of them as I don’t know either of them personally.

  29. ccattwood says

    Hmmm, complete guesses but tall=Ben Affleck
    Short = Tom Cruise
    And yes, those names are quite apt and could be interchangeable for those two!

  31. boyjack4 says

    Short is without Tom Cruise,religious, short,needs lifts nutbar etc
    Tall is not Tom Hanks as he’s hardly a douchebag?
    Could be Sean Penn,though he’s not handsome, but he is a douchebag
    I’m thinking Christian Bale?

  36. YellowButterfly says

    Tall: Ben Affleck
    Short: Tom Cruise

    Yes, their nicknames for each other seem appropriate.

  39. Vidalia Q Intrigue says

    Tall: Ben Affleck

    Short: Tom Cruise

    Political movie was Warner Brothers’ “Nathan Decker.”

  40. Pierre Latin says

    BEN AFFLECK is TALL.

    ROBERT DOWNEY JR. is SHORT.

    Optional: Yes. Ben Affleck is really tall and RDJr. is really short.

    I think the THIRD FAMOUS ACTOR is Brad Pitt.

  49. Sadhbh says

    Tall: Ben Affleck (childhood friend Matt Damon, 2 academy awards – producer and director)

    Short: Tom Cruise (Scientologist, nominated for best actor a few times)

  58. Shamrox says

    Tall: Ben Affleck
    Short: Tommy Girl

    Optional: Yes.

    From THR 4 years ago: “Tom Cruise is out as the lead ion the political comedy Nathan Decker, but Warner already has found his replacement in Ben Affleck…”

  60. Jester says

    Tall is Daniel Day-Lewis
    Short is Tom Cruise

    I could think of better names, but Tom’s is hilarious.

  66. Visha85 says

    Tall – Ben Affleck although to be honest I do not find him handsome but each to their own. He has two Oscars (Good Will Hunting, Argo)

    Short – Tom Cruise

    Do you think they came up with accurate nicknames for each other? Yep nutbag and douchebag fit them terribly.

  67. FlameTrees says

    Tall: Ben Affleck, has two Oscars, the childhood friend he works with is Matt Damon

    Short: Tom Cruise, nutbag’s “religion” being Scientology

    Not sure if I’d call Ben a douchebag, though I’ve always much preferred his brother’s work. Tommy on the other hand is most definitely a nutbag

  73. dynamodavid says

    Tall: Ben Affleck

    Short: Tom Cruise

    Do you think they came up with accurate nicknames for each other? Yes.

  77. PriveNom says

    Tall: Ben Affleck
    Short Tom Cruise

    I think Tom Cruise’s nickname is this century’s understatement~there are just so many more accurate

  81. hrhfedup says

    Tall: Ben Affleck?
    Short: Tom Cruise
    Movie: Enemy of the state?
    3rd actor: Will Smith (baggy – Bagger Vance)

  82. prinny says

    Going to say Ben Affleck for Tall, and Tommy Boy for short. Yes, those nicknames are accurate.

  91. Pinkieswear says

    Short – Tom Cruise
    Tall – Ben Affleck

    These nicknames are interchangeable, and work well for both.

  94. fotosbysal says

    I can only think it’s Ben Affleck and Tom Cruise. The ‘Baggy’ clue might refer to the Bagger Vance movie with Matt Damon. Can’t think of the movie though.

  101. vickyf89 says

    Tall: Ben Affleck

    Short: Tom Cruise

    [Optional] Do you think they came up with accurate nicknames for each other? They are both d-bags and dangerous.

  104. juliebr says

    Tall: Ben Affleck (Oscars for Argo and Good Will Hunting). Friend being Matt Damon

    Short: Tom Cruise (religious: Scientology), never won an Oscar but nominated for Magnolia, Jessy Mcguire, etc). And we all know how short he is…

    • hvp5ss says

      That’s what I was thinking at first, but Clooney co wrote Ides of March.
      So possibly Fair Game, which was Sean Penn. Who’s definitely a d-bag and a nutbag.

  111. Gemzan says

    Ben Affleck

    Little Tommy Cruise

    Yes, Ben is a d-bag and Tom is a loon. At least Ben sees his children and didn’t abandon them for a sci-fi cult.

  112. stolidog says

    Ben Affleck and Tom Cruise. I could certainly come up with worse nicknames for one of them, cough-Tom Cruise-cough, but then I wouldn’t be able to post here.

  116. happiedazie says

    Tall: Ben Affleck

    Short: Tom Cruise

    Do you think they came up with accurate nicknames for each other? Yup, pretty much.

  117. 1Bellebottomblues says

    tall guy is Ben Affleck…one oscar for good will and one for argo.
    Also works with Matt Damon sometimes.
    short guy is Cruise of course lol

    • mostlylurker says

      you got it in one.
      sorta amazing tall has any oscars when you think about it. Short doesnt deserve one either. pedestrian actor.

  118. SugarCookie says

    Short: Tom Cruise
    Tall: Val Kilmer

    Director Oliver Stone originally wanted Tom Cruise in the lead role of Alexander.
    Before being cast as King Philip, Oliver Stone was considering Val Kilmer for the lead.

    Colin Farrell got the part.
    Tom Cruise has not yet won an Oscar.

  119. inopickme says

    Thinking that Tall is Ben Affleck and Short is Tom Cruise. I don’t know what movie they both dropped though.

  122. CevansLeftpec2 says

    Leo D. as ‘tall’ and RDJ as ‘short’ (probably wrong, but that’s who came to mind with the shoe comment and the charisma one). If this is them, this blind is made even more hilarious by the fact that I can’t think of two more self-centered, insufferably smug, egotistic A-list actors in Hollywood rn than these two guys.

  123. CelebrityGirl says

    Tall: Ben Affleck

    Short: Tom Cruise

    [Optional] Do you think they came up with accurate nicknames for each other? LOLOLOL yes, although Tom really deserves both nicknames.

    • itstarapagain says

      Cruise is 5’7″ in his dreams and his well crafted lifts.

      On a different note, doubt he will ever win an Oscar or even see another nomination. He’s made himself a joke and ticked off people like Spielberg with his religious zeal

    • Epitome says

      I saw Cruise once in Westwood … he is not even close to 5’7. Maybe 5’4 if he was trying. He was still married to Kidman. The female I was with was 5’6 and when he walked by her, he was shorter.

    • northofyou says

      Just fyi, RDJ is nowhere near 5’9″. I’ve met him, and he’s shorter than me. I’m 5’7″.

    • flymetothemoo says

      Tall can’t be Affleck as it says that Tall did not end up with the role and that it went to another person. I think tall is Robert Downey Jr. because he is well known for wearing heels and lifts in his shoes.

    • Amityvillain says

      Tall can’t be RDJ, he’s never won an AA, only nominated. Nor has Val Kilmer won an AA. But guess who has won a few and works with a childhood friend? Ben Affleck the douche.