When a couple split after several years together, the official parting is usually slow and painful and messy. So you really have to question why the breakup of this couple is going to be swift and painless and clean. It turns out that one half of the couple has incredible leverage in harboring some very deep and very nasty secrets about the other half and their sexual proclivities. The mildest of these secrets is the typical inclusion of a surprising third party, as well as one person’s penchant for wearing clothing of the opposite sex. Several jaw-dropping parting gifts are in the works to effectively buy the ex’s silence. bg