The Actress and The Athlete in The Pool

swimming-poolNYDN – Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action – and the twosome’s pile of powder.

Athlete is a Switch Hitter

baseball-playerNYDN – Which baseball heartthrob may be playing for the other team? He secretly slides into bed with Florida fellas.

Soccer Star Likes the Number Three

premier-leagueDaily Mirror – Which Premiership hunk has been playing away? He had a threesome with two blondes at a London hotel while his girlfriend was home alone.

He Needs Permission from Mommy

mean-momDaily Mirror – Which sportsman with a tough-guy image is actually a mummy’s boy at heart – and isn’t allowed to go out socially, or even cook for himself, without permission from the dominating matriarch?

Black and White and Sweaty All Over

black-white-coupleEOnline – Prius Crotch-Catch is so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool in T-town: from always dating the hippest dude, to starring in the latest hit. She’s also politically aware! And she’s so full of enviable girl power, so pure! Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to be Prius! Oh, and even though PC-C’s fallen in love from time to time, lately, she’s been on her own—but now appears to be settling sweetly down again. Everyone’s breathing a sigh of belated relief. So fab that Prius has met her latest BF, a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and shocking past, which includes: Many, many cocaine-powered nights of hot, endless and very loud sex that white chick Prius just stopped having with Wally Wallup, an African-American dude who’s as studly as he is rich and infamous. No one knew Prius and Wally were dating—and they liked it that way, too, as they were wholly hooking up just for the wild nooky. Jeez, thought it was just the gays who went for the meaningless, sweaty hot sex, but what the ef do I know? Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams, snorts and clandestine meetings became so…well, vocal. Indeed, Mr. Wallup had to start posting his bodyguards outside their suite doors just to keep folks from breaking in and calling 911, or joining in, take your pick. Doesn’t matter anymore, as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged, far-less-athletic nooky partner. Won’t last. Uh-uh, no friggin’ wild-sex-starved way. Mark my snoopy (and wise) words. And It Aint: Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere.

Football Fiancee Fumbling on Fidelity

nflCDAN – I think this this newly engaged NFL player would be surprised to learn that his future wife has been spending a great deal of time talking and texting her old boyfriend every chance she gets and even making plans to meet while she is alone and out of town. Of course it probably serves our football player right.

Golfer Using His Club Outside of Marriage

golfCDAN – I’m sure the fans of this married world class golfer with the perfect image would be shocked to know he is stepping out on his wife on a regular basis.

Athlete is a Regifting Scrooge

Which professional athlete from a major city is playing Scrooge this holiday season? He makes millions every year from his sport, and millions more in product endorsements because of his superstar status. He certainly makes sure that he and loved ones live the good life. When it comes to giving to others, though, he is certainly less than generous. Instead of cash bonuses for his staff, he gave them an assortment of products that he received for free from the companies he endorses. And his total contributions to charities this year? Less than he makes in 15 minutes. Bah, humbug.

Wag wants a Nose Job

Which Wag has begged her boyfriend for a nose job for Christmas? The brunette is paranoid because his mates rib her about her hooter. dm

Santa and his Ho Ho Hos

CDAN – This married NBA All Star took a little time away from the family this weekend to play his own version of Santa Claus. No, this isn’t a kindness. Apparently he and one of his long time friends got a suite this weekend and invited a gaggle of strippers. Our basketball player dressed as Santa, minus the pants and invited each of the strippers to sit on his lap. Yep. Each one got a turn with Santa and then his friend who didn’t dress up. Seems kind of a waste of a good theme. Anyway, the strippers stayed for several hours until Santa and his friend were completely satisfied and finished spreading their holiday joy. Then Santa went back home to the wife and kid/kids to spend some quality time with the family.

Icy Reception for Cheater

Daily Mirror – Which Premier League footballer was stunned when girls started randomly attacking him with ice cubes at London’s Funky Buddha club? The star, who had been caught two-timing, looked like he was about to cry.

Bankrupt Basketballer

NY Post – Which longtime New York basketball legend, whose wife handles his business, has gone bankrupt twice?

Soccer Star Terrifies Staff

Daily Mirror – Which football star who bills himself as a nicey-nice guy is actually such a grizzly grump to all his staff they’re petrified of seeing him?

Gay Baller Hooks Up with Thespian

CDAN – This NBA star … is sleeping with this male B list actor from a Top 20 network drama. Yes, they say they are just friends, but it is way beyond that.

Racing Family Love Triangle

Which racing family lives life in the fast lane both on and off the track? There’s a rumour in Formula 1 that one father is enjoying his son’s girlfriend’s company a bit too much.

Editor’s Note: This is a rewrite of a Holy Moly item.

Sharing the Warmth Via Text

BlindGossip – Which athlete and entertainer are dating on the sly? One of them lives with an unsuspecting spouse, the other with a steady. The couple are bound to be discovered, though. Too many people have seen at least one of the intimate texts he sends each day extolling the impact her warmer bits have on his private parts.

Double Adultery

Daily Mirror – Which ex-footy star has been playing away with two blonde beauties behind his wife’s back? The former England ace even has videos of his sordid affairs.

Editor’s Note: “Footy” = footballer = soccer player

Time in the Penalty Box for Adultery

CDAN – Don’t be fooled by the rumors. They are a distraction. You may have heard this former A list singer has been dating a hockey player. [She has, but] not the one in the stories. A married one. She doesn’t need the bad press and so the other name was floated out there.

His Version of Fantasy Football

CDAN – Think Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian are the only ones with NFL boyfriends? Well, I think you are forgetting about one very important C+ actor on a hit network drama who leaves his wife and kids every weekend to go cheer on his boyfriend who is on an NFL west coast team.

Mistress Helped with Wedding

The Mirror – Which Premier League star is cheating on his wife with someone 10 years his senior? His mistress even helped arrange the wedding.

Editor’s Note: The Premier League, aka The Premiership,  is the English professional soccer league.

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