The Seven Celebrity Dwarfs – Part 4

seven dwarfs[Blind Gossip] We don’t know exactly how many people heard Junkie’s comment about how Clingy lost her virginity, but the disclosure certainly surprised them!

After all, at the time that they were dating, Lucky was wearing a purity ring! And everyone assumed that Clingy had lost her V-card to a wondrous older singer! Given this revelation, it’s no wonder that Clingy was so upset about her breakup with Lucky in a phone call that only lasted a few seconds!

Anyway, Junkie continued blabbering on and insisting that they all hang out together.

Sassy – who is besties with Clingy – gritted her teeth and sweetly blew off Junkie.

Poppy also politely declined, saying that she was going to be traveling out of the country to do some charity work.

Junkie perked up. She asked Poppy if Poppy’s boyfriend – another celebrity – was going to be going with her on the trip. Poppy said no.

Uh, oh.

Now it’s time to introduce the final member of the Seven Celebrity Dwarfs: Slimy.

Slimy is Poppy’s current boyfriend. Slimy is an actor who is best known for his role on a sitcom that ended several years ago. You might also know him as a hard-partying skirt-chaser and the ex-boyfriend of several Hollywood starlets.

The list of things we dislike about Slimy is long. There was the pregnancy scare he had with a 15-year-old cast member on his former television show. There are the numerous girls that he introduced to “the back door” (his preferred style since there are no more pregnancy scares that way). There is the closet full of costumes that he asks his conquests wear that he never washes the stains out of between uses. There is the occasional bruising smack that he will dole out if a girl irritates him. And, of course, there is the alcohol and the drugs and the cheating and the… like we said, the list is long. Slimy is way too old for Poppy and a bad influence on her. Frankly, Slimy is bad for everyone.

In other words, he was perfect for Junkie’s sister, Horrie!

Like Junkie, Horrie is a nobody who wants to be famous. So Junkie and Horrie hatched an evil plan. While Poppy was out of the country, Junkie would fix up Slimy with Horrie. Then they would then leak to the tabloids that Slimy cheated on Poppy! They could get Poppy and Slimy to break up! Then Horrie and Slimy could date, and Horrie could become famous!

Poppy left on her trip… and Slimy promptly slept with Horrie. Big surprise there. In fact, Slimy hooked up with Horrie for several nights in a row last week.

Of course, Poppy had absolutely no idea what was going on! She thought that Slimy – who sent her such loving public messages on Twitter while she was away – was being a good loyal boyfriend!

But then something unexpected happened. During one of their nights together, Slimy showed Horrie his cell phone.


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