Driver Dishes On Dieting Diva’s Deafness

soul cycle 2[The Wrap] I can’t tell you how many times I had seen her on TV singing the National Anthem or stepping onto a red carpet out the open door of some other guy’s limo. And now this Grammy-winning diva was sitting in mine.

Every day.

There’s nothing better for a driver than a regular booking — and this one was five days a week. From 10 in the morning until 10 at night, taking one of the most famous women in the world from her home in the Hollywood Hills down to the soundstage in Culver City where she was rehearsing for her big comeback.

She needed to be in performing shape for her tour. She needed to be able to go hard in front of 15,000 people for two solid hours and more. Not to mention that she had to lose 20 pounds.

That’s what her agent had told her. That’s what the producers of the worldwide tour had told him. The show included 10 expensive costumes. And none was bigger than a pocket square. People can’t begin to understand what kind of pressure the hugely talented artists of this town’s creative community have to live with.

“I’ll never lose the weight,” she said late one night when I was taking her home. She burst into tears. She had pushed herself to the edge of exhaustion after all the meetings, the rehearsals, the fittings and the fasting. She didn’t think the tour could be saved.

I felt like a civic duty was calling me to be more than just a limo driver when the survival of an American icon was in the balance.

So I said, “Have you ever heard of SoulCycle? It’s a spinning workout. Full body. Super intense.”

“That won’t help,” she said. “I never learned how to ride a bike.”

I told her the bikes are stationary at SoulCycle. She wouldn’t fall off. The only thing that would fall off was the weight.

So we hit SoulCycle on Sunset Boulevard for an hour every night on the way home. I watched her work out. The music boomed and the lights flashed and she pedaled like the superstar we all know.

Three days before she was supposed to fly to Japan for her first concert, she got into my backseat. The sweat was dripping off her from her SoulCycle workout. For the first time in weeks, she had a big smile on her face.

“I just weighed myself,” she said, “and guess what? I’ve lost exactly 20 pounds.”

I felt like I’d just saved the Statue of Liberty or something. She was toned, with rock-hard abs.

“I bet you could win the Tour de France,” I said.

“What?” she said.

“It’s a famous bike race around the outside of some country in Europe,” I said.

“No, I mean, I can’t hear what you’re saying,” she said. “Talk louder.”

I started to explain again, when she stopped me.

“I can’t hear your voice,” she said, starting to look a little flustered. “I can’t hear a word.”

She put on her headphones and cranked up the volume.

“I can’t hear myself singing,” she said. She fiddled with a few buttons and tried it again. “I can’t hear.”

She started to panic.

“I’m deaf! I can’t hear a sound! I’m deaf!” she shouted.

The last couple weeks have been doctors and psychiatrists and lawsuits and TV cameras and insurance companies and legal depositions. Everyone’s pointing fingers at my client. How could she let hundreds of millions of dollars go to waste. And how could she all of a sudden go deaf like that. She must have been on drugs or something. That’s what they’re all saying.

But I think I know why. The other night, passing through West Hollywood, I parked the limo and walked into SoulCycle. I found the manager. I told him that as great as the spinning workouts are, they probably ought to turn the music down just a little.

It’s no good losing weight, if you also lose your hearing.

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111 comments to Driver Dishes On Dieting Diva’s Deafness

  • nicky

    Mariah Carey? I know I read somewhere she had a bad childhood experience with a bike and hasn’t been able to ride a bike ever since.

  • AreYouKiddingMePeople

    Jennifer Hudson

  • kitteekat

    Brit Brit

  • JohnCarson

    Janet Jackson

  • Virginia

    Mariah Carey

  • River Melody

    Sounds like Lady Gaga

    • cheshirebadboi

      nahh gaga lives in new york, this says the star lives in hollywood hills plus she did a radio interview today shes definitely not deaf lol

  • Obeah

    Chaka Khan? She has a concert in Japan this very weekend….(Aug 26-29)

  • rasberryem

    Mariah Carey

  • scumby

    Soulcycle makes me think it’s Aretha.

  • sabrina325

    Mariah Carey

  • rose112165

    Sounds like Aretha Franklin..

  • Kerzep

    Well this one intrigues me: not the deaf part, but which “most famous woman in the world” is trying to make a singing comeback? Cher retired, Streisand doesn’t need a comeback, Diana Ross lives in Arizona, Liza Minneli lives in NY…and NONE of them have ever sung the National Anthem on TV (apparently multiple times).

    Can’t wait to find out the answer.

  • rose112165

    Oops!Should have read the WHOLE article;

    Rock hard Abs? More like Mariah Carey or
    christina A?

  • cannon31

    shot in the dark but beyonce? i know im wrong cause shes in new York but its a guess.

    first time poster!

    you should get the story behind ariana grande and jai brooks

  • Christyd

    Christina Aguilera?

  • DesertGhost

    Madonna

    • DesertGhost

      NVM, it is Mariah Carey. She was my first guess but I didn’t know she had a place on the West Coast.

  • Marina

    Mariah Carey?

  • melly123

    Mariah Carey

  • mistyk

    Lady GaGa…clue: “on the edge”

  • wfreshie

    don’t know who but people going deaf is a bad bad thing, is this lady the only one? I don’t have a guess yet.

  • RuHa

    Christina? Read she lost 20 lbs.

  • ccincanada

    i was going to say beyonce because of the fasting reference, but maybe lady gaga?

  • kbd61186

    aretha franklin?

  • stanton

    Cher or Diana Ross

  • newsjunkie

    Brittany Spears

  • caela94

    Aretha has a medica problem now

  • ialwaysgettheseright

    Avril

  • sksgt

    Mariah Carey.

  • caela94

    [All links require a full explanation]

  • claireyface

    I initially would have bet my leg that this was Lady Gaga, however I can’t find a single tour of hers that kicked off in Japan according to wikipedia. I do seem to have a vague memory of the first few dates of Monsters Ball being there from her Twitter, though. According to a few online articles, Lady Gaga does like SoulCycle. She took two of their custom built bikes on tour with her. I’m going with Lady Gaga.

    • claireyface

      Oops! I forgot her most recent tour was called the Born This Way ball, not Monster’s Ball – which did indeed kick off in Asia in 2012. Korea, Hong Kong, Japan, Taiwan… etc. We’ve all heard about her drug use but going deaf? I know she lives in an apartment in NY at the moment but apparently she bought a home in Hollywood in 2010. I once again bet my leg on Gaga. The only thing I don’t understand is – the tour went ahead, and quite successfully grossed $167,989,553. How did she restore her hearing? Time? Wizards? More coke? She can’t have been deaf – perhaps just aurally injured.

      • Red Velvet

        “She can’t have been deaf–perhaps just aurally injured.”

        ^^^THIS. I am functionally deaf. I wear bilateral hearing aids and have only about 15% of my natural hearing (scarlet fever when I was a baby). Prolonged exposure to loud noise (and some gyms are damagingly loud) will cause temporary deafness, but it will pass after a while. Of course, do that to yourself week in and week out over time, and the damage will be permanent.

        Protect your hearing–don’t listen to loud music through earbuds, and if the music in a gym or club is loud enough to make you wince when you walk in, ask for it to be turned down or leave. Me, I kind of like being deaf. It lets me concentrate, and when I take the hearing aids out my world is pretty peaceful. But this is the way it’s been all my life. Most of you still have a choice.

      • newsjunkie

        For what it’s worth, claireyface, you have my vote

      • prleonard2

        I sort of thought that maybe it was maybe stress related temporary hearing loss (I don’t know if that’s possible). I don’t know who it could be.

  • slantrhyme

    Mariah Carey. She is not the brightest bulb, she is very curvaceous, and she would qualify as an icon.

  • MelliUK

    J lo (go hard) from go hard or go home her song with will i am and american icon=idol.

  • memommamo

    Britney?

  • Joanhs

    I was about to say Britney, this sounds a couple of years back, but she never travels alone.
    So maybe my next guess is Christina Aguilera, she is award-winning..

    Or the last one, Lady gaga, but again, this sounds old, and Gaga has never been THAT fat.

    • sugarbread

      yes she was!! she was mocked last year for gaining wait and being fat on tour and her tour clothing makers having to spend a fortune to remake her clothes.. the photos are out there. this seems like gaga b/c her feud with perez Hilton was over her drug use and him getting her into rehab. she did not have hip surgery, she went to rehab

      • wendy hood

        I bet it was more facial reconstruction/reprogramming rather than rehab. I don’t think just about anybody is sober with that kind of job.

    • wendy hood

      Shes been 20 lbs bigger than she is now – she admitted as much, saying she didn’t really care, either. Her body can fluctuate very quickly given her height.

  • Joanhs

    Or M. Carey?

  • mamacita3

    Aretha Franklin?

  • WhoDatGirl

    Jessica Simpson?

  • Tasia

    Unconvinced by this one.

  • annasophie

    anguillera

  • mizzavrid

    The one and only Cher…

  • jules524

    this is a weird one, but i’ll go with gaga

  • ItsNeverMe

    Lady Gaga

  • lobsterbabe

    Christina Aguilara
    I think I read she canceled her tour plans for her album “Lotus.” She also has lost some weight earlier this year as well.

  • ccattwood

    Foxy Brown?

  • princesspeach21

    Queen Latifah

    • AndTheWinnerIs

      Ooo! Good guess. But doesen’t she have a talk show stint coming up? And, while I love her figure, I’m wondering about the “rock-hard abs” thing. She’s always embraced her curves.

  • kermit1969

    Christina Aguilera

  • Aisha

    Christina Aguilera

  • Stephanie

    I don’t picture Mariah Carey going into a public gym. I see this being Lady Gaga.

  • cizzy

    First time posting. I wanted to say Kelly Clarkson. I think “civic duty” hints at her tour she was on the Honda civic tour, and “American icon” I think slightly alludes to American idol,….but I’m not sure since the Honda civic tour only covered North America

  • B00giexius

    I am guessing this is Cher because she just came out of retirement, released Woman’s World, and has announced that she will be doing a tour. Although I am uncertain if it will be a world tour or just a tour of the States. It’s a huge icon, according to the writer, and Aretha’s weight is just part of Aretha’s allure. I doubt anyone is pressing her to lose any.

    • wendy hood

      I think most of us are glossing over the clue that none of the costumes were bigger than a pocket square. Who wants to see Cher on stage in that kind of clothing? Shes almost 70!

  • AndTheWinnerIs

    Mary J Blige

  • Best Man

    This is Aretha. But who would dare tell her to lose weight? She has size 8 tags sown into all her clothes.

    • Best Man

      Oh wait you know what? I can’t picture Aretha going to a booming spin class. Can you?

      This is Paula Abdul!

      No idea.

      • Katmandu

        I was gonna say!

        Aretha Franklin would NOT put up with several changes of clothes, much less “costumes the size of a pocket square”! Aretha Franklin is not in need of a comeback. Aretha Franklin has medical problems, and finally Aretha Franklin would not be sobbing over her weight OR ducking into a spinning class!

        She would tell her handlers and the other people “F.U.” LOL!

        I guess Christina Aguilara, though I am also wondering how loud IS that music that makes people go deaf?

  • nomnom

    XTina ftw

  • tigerlilly

    Britney Spears

    • LeahLynn28

      Britney can’t go out or travel alone without a babysitter,bodyguard or a fake boyfriend with her.Can’t be her.

  • narwhale

    X-tina

    She canceled her tour and she spent some time in Japan this year.

  • phreaque

    This post reminds me of “Telephone”, so my vote is for L to the A-D-Y Gaga.

    Hello, hello, baby, you called? I can’t hear a thing

    Wha-Wha-What did you say, huh? You’re breaking up on me
    Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m kinda busy

  • diamonddiamond

    LeAnn Rimes

  • LeahLynn28

    Mariah Carey?Xtina Aguilera?

  • Marjorie Stewart-Baxter

    I think perhaps I’m misunderstanding something. How could the public not know or realize that what appears to be a massive tour has been canceled? Or that a superstar diva has gone deaf? This blind item has too many holes in it– unless I’m just clueless(which is possible… it’s been a long week!)

    I obviously have no idea who it is, but I know it’s not Lady Gaga, as she seemed to hear Elvis Duran perfectly during her interview with him a couple days ago.

  • Lisa

    Mariah Carey

  • Wow, those last few lines actually brought some tears to my eyes, I can’t imagine how she must have been panicking. That driver seems like a really nice guy.

    I’m liking the Mariah Carey guesses.

  • rose15

    I think everyone is missing the key part in this blind item. This diva was SUPPOSED to go to Japan, but she couldn’t because she turned deaf. The only person I feel who fits this very well is Christina Aguilera.
    There is not many people who sing the National Anthem and Christina has sung the National Anthem before, plus she has a house in Hollywood Hills, she’s a Grammy winner, is known for being a Diva and has recently lost weight and by the looks of it, 20 pounds. Christina’s last major album was in 2010 and she just came out with her new album in 2012 so the tour date that is mention here fits. Christina is known for being an American icon and she has been doing tv for awhile, so this new album for her is a comeback. Also another key part in this Statue of Liberty. Christina is born Staten Island, New York and the Statue of Liberty is in New York as well. Furthermore, Christina is known for her soul influences, hence Soul Cycle.

  • MsJennyR

    I think this is Barbra Streisand. She has been awarded the French Legion of Honour and she (or Live Nation) cancelled her much anticipated concert in Paris earlier this year. I don’t know about the National Anthem of the US but she is famous for performing the Israeli National Anthem.

  • jonsmommy408

    Agree with Nicky that this is Mimi. Even Lainey thinks it’s Mimi.

  • oldstephens

    U all missed the mention of outfits the size of pocket squares–since when does ReRe or Barbra or Liza wear them??

    Mariah. That’s it.

  • scumby

    X-tina a superstar?No expensive costumes screams Cher

  • gagirl

    DUH, this is La Lopez! The clues are “Go Hard” (song) and American Idol. The last bit about legal and insurance issues is related to her having just signed a contract to return to the show. And now she’s apparently gone deaf. Oh and she just finished touring.

  • DizzyBlueBaby

    Cher?

  • Winky Vitalic

    It is Xtina. I know this for a fact.

  • B00giexius

    Cher is almost 70, this is true. She still rocks the tiny outfits, though. I may be wrong in my guess, but plenty of people still want to see her, small outfits and all. I’m not really a fan. Just stating facts.

  • StarStruck

    Fantasia.

  • FiyahHotFlashy

    Mariah Carey

  • sshhhx

    It’s Gaga seriously. She does soul cycle and lost 25lb recently. Google it, there are articles on her doing soul cycle. Not a fan of her music but couldn’t wish this on anyone,hope she’s ok.

  • luvsdrama

    It’s defiantly not Gaga because the only time she sung the National Anthem was at a Gay Pride Event and it wasn’t televised

  • itsallhearsaytome

    Cher or Mimi. I simply can’t decide. But, I would think Cher could stage a come-back, but I hope her costumes would be GREAT, and still cover all her granny parts.

  • tammi

    Christina Aguilera!