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The Titanic Relationship

[Blind Gossip] It was the end of a relationship that was doomed from the beginning. It was another opportunity to make herself look like the heroine.

We told you a long time ago that this was no love match. It was a set up to give her a man when that big fish wriggled off the hook. Because, as we have discussed before, she always has to look desirable. She always has to have a man around who wants her. It’s part of her image.

It’s easy to get an employee to fill the gap. More money? More fame? Heck, yeah! Where do I sign up?

He agreed to be shoehorned into the plot as a love interest at the last minute, and scenes were re-shot to make it look like he had been in love with her all along, just waiting in the wings for that moment when she would notice that he was the man for her.

She also paid him a hefty allowance – above and beyond his salary – plus more money if she wanted him to buy a gift for her.  Of course she took care of all his “new” expenses. You can’t have the love interest of a superstar sharing an apartment with a bunch of other kids his age and driving a janked-up Honda. So she paid for a new apartment, and a new car, and new clothes, and new jewelry.

To match her eternal classiness, she even dressed him up in a tuxedo. “You shine up like a new penny!” she exclaimed when she saw him.

No, wait. That was the Unsinkable Molly Brown dressing up Jack Dawson in a tuxedo in Titanic.

Same thing. This ship was eventually going to go down, and our girl was going to save herself but come out looking like the heroine.

When it was time to end the relationship, she wasn’t Molly Brown anymore. She was Rose Dewitt Bukater, and there simply wasn’t enough room on the big door for the both of them.

He had practically signed his life away for the money, so when it came time to cut him loose, she could spin the story as she pleases. She was the kind, benevolent one just in it for love… and he was the angry, jealous, greedy lover who couldn’t handle being in her shadow. She couldn’t have someone like that around her and her kids! She needed to save her kids and save herself!

“I’ll never let go!” she cried… as she let go.

Meh. He was no big fish.

Similar: So Desireable

Our Heroine:

[Optional] Her next boyfriend will be a _____ .

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. prinny says

    I just laughed and laughed when I read the article about the “breakup”, how Tanaka was insanely jealous of Nick Cannon and then started flirting with girls at some club. How many lies can one article hold I wonder…..

  5. robynsing says

    Mel B and Belafonte. The big fish that wriggled off the line was Eddie Murphy. Her next boyfriend will be whoever wants to be seen and paid.

  6. Justmyself says

    Mariah Carey and her back up dancer guy.

    Her next boyfriend will be another backup dancer, until she thinks she can land a big fish.

  12. Mz_Hambone says

    Mariah Carey…just broke up with her back up dancer. Said he was jealous of Nick and spent too much money.

    Sure bebe….whatever you say lol!!!

  14. shauxnough says

    Our heroine: Mariah Carey

    Her next boyfriend will be a: diamond encrusted hello kitty challis from which she will day-sip prosecco with one pinky extended.

  18. jolael says

    Mariah
    [Optional] Her next boyfriend will be a _____ . Gigolo – since he is getting paid.

  24. JerzeyJenn says

    Mariah & Tanaka
    I didnt think this was anything more than an attempt to make James Packer jealous. Altho I’m not sure why cuz IMO she wasnt into him…at all…but rather kept him around now that she met someone who actually had more money than herself to truly spoil her. I didnt give that marriage 6months or whatever the expiration date of the 1st payout set up in the prenup. Again, sorry JMO?I did not see any love or chemistry between MC & JP

  25. mpizzle says

    Mariah Carey

    Her next boyfriend will be a waste of time. She needs to relax a little.

    • shesboss says

      This. Leave the ongoing try hard for relevance and headlines for the wannabes who don’t have half the voice and or talent. She’s Mariah Carey for godsake. She’s also proven herself as an actor. More of that would be great.

  26. imamirandagirl says

    I knew the answer to this before i even clicked ‘read more’

    Our Heroine is Mariah Carey

    Why can’t she just be single for a little but? It’s not the end of the world to be single nd I’m sure it would do her the world of good.

  40. wfreshie says

    mariah carey and that young guy, Brian tanaka…the story said he was HORRIBLY jealous of her ex husband nick

  41. superstarfish says

    Poor Mariah. She bought into her hype a long time ago and now she’s just ….sad.

  43. Bensee says

    Mariah Carey and Brian Tanaka.
    Clue: I’ll never let go – her song is “can’t let go”
    Her new boyfriend will be a hot mess also

  46. gailpow says

    Heroine, if you say so: Mariah Carey

    Next Boyfriend: She should try and steal Alex Rodriguez away from J-lo.

  48. High Steppa says

    I think Mariah and Bryan what’s his name. She’s looking for another sugar daddy. Who’s next??

  61. mswaffle says

    Heroine: Mariah Carey

    [Optional]: her next boyfriend will be … an athlete some kind of baller

  66. amagod121 says

    Hello, Mariah Carey, siiiiigh.

    Optional: Her next boyfriend will be: another paid-for pony.

    • amagod121 says

      I don’t think she can attract the real thing anymore, unless he’s gold digger.

  69. Goodgrief says

    Mariah Carey just broke up with Bryan Tanaka. She needs to give it a rest for awhile.

  76. Jester says

    Mariah Carey and Bryan Tanaka broke up! Har har har!!!

    Her next boyfriend will probably be some other skid row bum…maybe that Casper dude JLO was ‘dating’…

  78. Kristen.Francesco says

    Our Heroine: Mariah Carey

    [Optional] Her next boyfriend will be a television actor.

  82. fiddlesticks says

    Mariah Carey

    Her next boyfriend will be a boxer or wrestler, strong of body but weak of mind.

  86. annabelle77 says

    Easy-this has got to be Mariah Carey dumping her boy toy Brian Tenaka. Nobody ever really bought into to this , anyway, did they? She and Jennifer Lopez have become parodies of themselves with all these desperate staged relationships. Good God.

  87. sunshinestar says

    Mariah Carey is such a bore with her staged life. Good lawd, the woman needs some self esteem and spend some quality time with her kids instead.
    Next boyfriend will be a gay dude who needs a beard….

    • NativeAtlantaGirl says

      Lol – just tried to visualize Mariah in ‘modest Muslim attire’ and fell out of my chair!

  98. hwkgirl1 says

    Our Heroine: Mariah Carey

    [Optional] Her next boyfriend will be a high school senior .

  99. CyndiTx123 says

    mariah carey ….. that girl is messed up…. i know she could find a decent guy if she wasn’t sooo spoiled…. who knows who will be her next bf…. someone with money for sure…. cuz this one she is in … is costly….