VillageVoice – Which moderately plus-size movie star has led the straight family life for years, but I hear he’s actually a big, raving homosexual?
He Lives Without Plumbing
VillageVoice – W
hich troubled ex-club owner now sadly lives in his shuttered club (sans plumbing), which he can’t seem to sell to anyone who can make a go of it?
Chef Serves Old Bread
NewYorkPost – Which celebrity chef has had his reputation put at risk by the penny-pinching owners of an Upper West Side bar and restaurant who have left the kitchen so bereft of fresh bread that patrons have been served aging scraps?
Billionaire Juggles Multiple Women
NewYorkPost – 
Which extraordinarily wealthy jet-setting businessman has a wife and two girlfriends on different continents but refuses to be seen in public with any of them for fear that the others will go crazy with jealousy and sue him for his billions?
The Bossy Dog Owner
InTouchMagazine – 
Which young celebrity makes her assistant pick up her dog poop? As if that’s not bad enough, she also lets her pooch pee everywhere!
A Secret Relationship with Two Russians
NewYorkPost – 
Which female international jet-setter known for dating high-profile men has a secret relationships with two sexy Russian girls in New York?
He Got a Gag Order on His Mistress
Which married British TV star with a cult following on this side of the Atlantic recently won a gag order in England to keep his cheating under wraps? The love rat claimed it would be “very distressing” to his family if his extramarital affair was uncovered. A judge agreed after a woman he’d cheated with tried to extort a bundle of money from him by threatening to go public with their dirty dalliance!
Rock Family Knows The Truth
Actress Looks Like a Picasso
VillageVoice – 
Which still-working ’80s actress recently redid her whole face except for her mouth, and it looks a tad middle-period Picasso?
He Works Out in a Leather Jacket
VillageVoice – 
Which lanky and quirky middle-aged actor works out in jeans, a leather jacket, and dress shoes, as if his body is too precious for strangers to see?