[Eonline] Isn’t it funny when somebody like Strawberry Snort ‘Em appears to have it all: Devoted and cute BF? Check. Cool digs? Beyond-average talent? Check. Back-stabbing besties? Check! But when the love affair busts up, Strawberry stops eating and starts snorting even more, so sad!
But, this Vice isn’t about Strawberry, it’s about a dude who never, ever wants to be in Strawberry’s lovelorn position: Topher Hairy-Tuchus.
And even though Topher’s determined to not get caught in love again (he’s had a couple of bad breakups), he’s not at all averse to getting caught in lust:
As we first told you,Topher’s into the anonymous sex thing. And whereas we used to think it was just because Mr. Hairy-Tuchus, like many men in Hollywood, is just a plain ol’ closeted actor, well, that’s not the only reason he likes to get it on with other guys on the down low.
“He’s just done with love, that’s all. It’s not so much his career, which is what everyone thinks,” says a pal who knows Topher both personally, and professionally.
Whoa. So Topher’s not so designing in the love department as much as we first thought? Amazing!
Because Topher sure has been giving us all a run for his red-carpet money lately with various sexy ladies by his side—and then some.
“No, no, no,” added our Topher source. “He’s just horny. And permanently non-committed. It’s really that simple. The chicks are a cover for his [sex], not so much his career, get it?”
Do we ever. And here we thought Hairy-Tuchus was some kind of grand, scheming Toothy Tile, who knew!
Just remember, Toph, play safe!
And It Ain’t: Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Gosling