An Actress Explains Why You Are Poor

SOLVED!

[Blind Gossip] This award-winning actress was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and has probably never set foot in a discount department store. She certainly won’t be camping out on line for a flat-screen TV at 4:00 am this Friday. However, she does display a rather remarkable insensitivity to those can’t afford luxury items.

The shallow actress was asked about shopping after Thanksgiving. A friend jokingly asked her if she was planning to battle the crowds on Black Friday.

“Oh, my god! Could you even imagine being in a store on Friday with the great unwashed, pushing and shoving to save a couple of dollars on some cheap plastic handbag or a cheap plastic watch? I would rather die than ever walk into one of those places.”

Her friend reminded her that not everyone could afford to spend thousands of dollars on a luxury handbag or a luxury watch.

Her response came in the form of a life lesson and a math problem. “Well, I learned that the only way to be a success is to work hard. I don’t spend my days sitting in front of a TV. And I really don’t understand why anyone would buy cheap things. If you can afford to go to Walmart or Target and buy twenty cheap handbags for $50 each, then you can certainly afford to spend $1,000 on one decent handbag! Not a great handbag, mind you, but a decent one. It’s simple math! And that thousand-dollar handbag would last so much longer than the twenty cheap ones combined! If you’re not smart enough to realize that, then maybe you deserve to be poor!”

So, there you have it folks. According to this actress, you are a member of the great unwashed because you don’t work hard enough and you are not smart enough to spend $1000 on a “decent” handbag. Hope you’ve learned your lesson.

Actress:

SOLVED!

It’s Gwyneth Paltrow! Source: BlindGossip.com

Are you that surprised? We didn’t think so. Born-rich Gwyneth is one of those people who freely doles out advice from her throne and then wonders why you don’t love her for it.

For example, if you would just sell your house, you could afford to buy the “spring essentials” that Gwyneth listed on her website:

After the firestorm surrounding news of her children’s low-carb, gluten and dairy-free diet, Paltrow, 40, has posted her spring fashion “essentials” to her popular blog, Goop. Unfortunately, women looking for the Oscar-winning actress’ style must also have deep pockets.

From a $5,495 Valentino Rockstud python trapeze bag to a $796 studded leather Valentino iPad case, Paltrow’s picks total more than $450,000, according to E! News.

What’s the matter? You can’t afford a $5495 hand bag? You must be lazy, lazy, lazy!

(Hey! What about the fact that her website is over $1 million in the hole and the CEO just quit? Shhh! You’re not supposed to talk about that! While her website is bleeding money and Gwyneth is taking out interest-free loans from the company’s bank account, you need to pay attention to the fact that you are too lazy to spend $5K on a handbag!)

But if you really can’t afford her new stuff, Gwyneth invites you to peruse her used clothing pile. Yes, Gwyneth is selling off her used clothes for charity.

From Us Weekly:

gwyneth paltrow closetPaltrow, 41, announced her “Super-Classy Yard Sale” on her lifestyle website Goop on Thursday, May 1. The high-end sale features the newly single actress’ castoff clothes, as well as unwanted threads from her famous friends. The proceeds from the sales will go to charity.

“Last year, we did a big story on closet organization, and in the process, sold a handful of pieces on behalf of three charities,” Paltrow wrote about the annual Goop closet sale. “It was such a success that we decided to do it again, and enlisted some friends-of-Goop, who have particularly outstanding personal style, to help this year.”

“100 percent of the profits benefit DonorsChoose, a charity where public school teachers can ask directly for help fulfilling specific classroom needs,” the announcement continued.

In addition to the items Paltrow donated from her own closet, Kate Hudson gave “a gorgeous Balenciaga dress,” Miranda Kerr added “a handful of dresses and tops perfect for summer,” Nicole Richie chipped in two pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes, and Beyonce contributed “a pair of heels from her latest tour.”

Paltrow, who recently split from her husband Chris Martin, teased the sale via her Twitter account on Wednesday evening, April 30. She posted a photo of herself trying on a pair of leather booties while surrounded by accessories and captioned the photo, “Spring cleaning @goop #goopgiving.”

The day of Paltrow’s announcement, Goop.com crashed. Presumably from an influx of traffic, the website was unable to load, showing an error message instead.

What we found most fascinating about this is the collection of other celebrities that were mentioned in the article. Does anyone else see why each of these women is fascinating? If you don’t, you really should be reading Blind Gossip more often. ;)

Congrats to Jennifersbody, who was first with the correct answer!

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