An Actress Explains Why You Are Poor

SOLVED!

[Blind Gossip] This award-winning actress was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and has probably never set foot in a discount department store. She certainly won’t be camping out on line for a flat-screen TV at 4:00 am this Friday. However, she does display a rather remarkable insensitivity to those can’t afford luxury items.

The shallow actress was asked about shopping after Thanksgiving. A friend jokingly asked her if she was planning to battle the crowds on Black Friday.

“Oh, my god! Could you even imagine being in a store on Friday with the great unwashed, pushing and shoving to save a couple of dollars on some cheap plastic handbag or a cheap plastic watch? I would rather die than ever walk into one of those places.”

Her friend reminded her that not everyone could afford to spend thousands of dollars on a luxury handbag or a luxury watch.

Her response came in the form of a life lesson and a math problem. “Well, I learned that the only way to be a success is to work hard. I don’t spend my days sitting in front of a TV. And I really don’t understand why anyone would buy cheap things. If you can afford to go to Walmart or Target and buy twenty cheap handbags for $50 each, then you can certainly afford to spend $1,000 on one decent handbag! Not a great handbag, mind you, but a decent one. It’s simple math! And that thousand-dollar handbag would last so much longer than the twenty cheap ones combined! If you’re not smart enough to realize that, then maybe you deserve to be poor!”

So, there you have it folks. According to this actress, you are a member of the great unwashed because you don’t work hard enough and you are not smart enough to spend $1000 on a “decent” handbag. Hope you’ve learned your lesson.

Actress:

SOLVED!

It’s Gwyneth Paltrow! Source: BlindGossip.com

Are you that surprised? We didn’t think so. Born-rich Gwyneth is one of those people who freely doles out advice from her throne and then wonders why you don’t love her for it.

For example, if you would just sell your house, you could afford to buy the “spring essentials” that Gwyneth listed on her website:

After the firestorm surrounding news of her children’s low-carb, gluten and dairy-free diet, Paltrow, 40, has posted her spring fashion “essentials” to her popular blog, Goop. Unfortunately, women looking for the Oscar-winning actress’ style must also have deep pockets.

From a $5,495 Valentino Rockstud python trapeze bag to a $796 studded leather Valentino iPad case, Paltrow’s picks total more than $450,000, according to E! News.

What’s the matter? You can’t afford a $5495 hand bag? You must be lazy, lazy, lazy!

(Hey! What about the fact that her website is over $1 million in the hole and the CEO just quit? Shhh! You’re not supposed to talk about that! While her website is bleeding money and Gwyneth is taking out interest-free loans from the company’s bank account, you need to pay attention to the fact that you are too lazy to spend $5K on a handbag!)

But if you really can’t afford her new stuff, Gwyneth invites you to peruse her used clothing pile. Yes, Gwyneth is selling off her used clothes for charity.

From Us Weekly:

gwyneth paltrow closetPaltrow, 41, announced her “Super-Classy Yard Sale” on her lifestyle website Goop on Thursday, May 1. The high-end sale features the newly single actress’ castoff clothes, as well as unwanted threads from her famous friends. The proceeds from the sales will go to charity.

“Last year, we did a big story on closet organization, and in the process, sold a handful of pieces on behalf of three charities,” Paltrow wrote about the annual Goop closet sale. “It was such a success that we decided to do it again, and enlisted some friends-of-Goop, who have particularly outstanding personal style, to help this year.”

“100 percent of the profits benefit DonorsChoose, a charity where public school teachers can ask directly for help fulfilling specific classroom needs,” the announcement continued.

In addition to the items Paltrow donated from her own closet, Kate Hudson gave “a gorgeous Balenciaga dress,” Miranda Kerr added “a handful of dresses and tops perfect for summer,” Nicole Richie chipped in two pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes, and Beyonce contributed “a pair of heels from her latest tour.”

Paltrow, who recently split from her husband Chris Martin, teased the sale via her Twitter account on Wednesday evening, April 30. She posted a photo of herself trying on a pair of leather booties while surrounded by accessories and captioned the photo, “Spring cleaning @goop #goopgiving.”

The day of Paltrow’s announcement, Goop.com crashed. Presumably from an influx of traffic, the website was unable to load, showing an error message instead.

What we found most fascinating about this is the collection of other celebrities that were mentioned in the article. Does anyone else see why each of these women is fascinating? If you don’t, you really should be reading Blind Gossip more often. 😉

Congrats to Jennifersbody, who was first with the correct answer!

Like the SOLVED items? Select the SOLVED tab at the top of the page or click here!

Follow us on Twitter! @blindgossipcom

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditShare on TumblrPin on Pinterest

Comments

  1. jennifersbody says

    Gwyneth Paltrow. Shallow for shallow Hal a clue, among many.

    Guess money can’t buy you decent friends who respect you and your privacy! Enjoy your fancy handbag and life of society hating you!

    • thelostsock says

      Perfect comment! It reminds me of a quote by Dorothy Parker,”If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.”

    • MyCatLovesTV says

      The word that comes to mind to describe this boil on the rump of humanity will NEVER make it through moderation. She is a waste of the air that decent people breathe.

    • Buttery says

      Yeah, and speaking of math. Why would I spend $1,000 to carry my wallet and makeup around when I can carry it around for $50? Or $10 from Goodwill? Or free if you use a shopping bag? I mean if you’re unwashed anyway. And who the heck needs twenty bags?

      Her math is fuzzy. Here’s mine:

      $1000 – 50 = $950 savings. Duh.

      • ktbell05 says

        If I could choke anyone it would be her. She is so ugly-inside and out. That picture posted above=ew!!!! She is so full of it. Just disgusts me on so many levels I cant even write anymore. Fuming.

  2. Tasia says

    Gwyneth Paltrow for the win. In part because she comes across as someone who would feel this way. And the clues: award-winning (Shakespeare in Love), silver spoon (born into Hollywood family)and “shallow actress” = nod at her role in Shallow Hal.

  3. DillyDally says

    Gwyneth Paltrow

    Won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love. “Shallow” actress – she was in the movie Shallow Hal. Known for being uppity. 1st time poster!!!

  4. Ahem says

    Hiya, Ace! Long time creeper, first time poster! This reeks of Gwennie Paltrow. Even without the “award winning actress” and “shallow” (Shallow Hal) clues, my first thought would have been her. Repugnant, she is.

  5. stolidog says

    Well Gwenyth, of course. And if you actually needed a clue, it’s “shallow actress” as in “Shallow Hal”, but, really who needs a clue when it’s all kinds of obvious.

    • Scorpio13 says

      I would rather be the “great unwashed, pushing and shoving” folk then to ever be like Ms “I am better than everyone” GOOP. She obviously needs a reality check. Good luck to everyone who’s shopping Black Friday!

  6. Obeah says

    Cameron Diaz

    * “shallow”. Shallow Hal
    * jokingly — her smile has been compared to that of Batman foe The Joker

  7. Cinzia says

    “Shallow Hal” Gwyneth Paltrow. But still like her. Even if she *is* replacing that silver spoon with her foot in her mouth!

  8. Loves the Latin Boys says

    Shallow actress = Shallow Hal, perhaps? so…..

    Gwyneth Paltrow

    Plus she was born with a silver spoon and I bet she would TOTALLY say something like this!

  9. EastlakeGirl says

    I’m going with Gwyneth Paltrow on this one. “Shallow” being the clue for me (Shallow Hal).

  10. clink1833 says

    I read the title and knew my answer would be Gwyneth Paltrow! What is the female equivalent of a d-bag? So pretentious!

  11. PandoraWolf says

    Not that I don’t think that someone said this, did their ‘friend’ audiotape this? It seems pretty detailed in the wording, etc. The ‘great unwashed’? Who the hell says that? I agree that you (should) work hard for success, okay. Sitting in front of a TV, okay, huge time waster, sure. And maybe ONE ‘good’ handbag makes more sense than 50 cheap crappy ones; I’ve heard that or a variant before. It’s her whole attitude that make me want to punch her.

    “Shallow” — Shallow Hal. I vote for Gwyneth Paltrow. Because I kinda want to punch her, too.

    • freddypuppy says

      The ‘great unwashed’ is a common expression in the UK so it’s something she could have picked up whilst living here.

    • CoCoJoe says

      Her assumption that women who buy cheaper bags buy 50 of them for every one she buys is warped.

      There are people who can’t afford to buy ONE $50 bag. There are also people like me who don’t give a crap about bags: buy one every three years and wear it with everything (yes, even evening clothes). Although I am generally quite fashion conscious (my bags are cheaply made, but always a soft leather @ $100), I don’t judge women who are less vain than I. There is something to admire about women who don’t get caught up in superficial pursuits like fashion and shopping.

      Her whole tunnel vision of the world is sad, especially for an actress, who is supposed to be able to empathize with a variety of perspectives. Bet you this ISN’T Meryl Streep or Cate Blanchett, for example.

  12. royal eduardo says

    This has Gwyneth Paltrow written all over it. Plus she was in Shallow Hal…Aka the clue “The shallow actress…”

  13. everandever says

    Gwyneth Paltrow!

    Clues: “shallow” actress, and the “life lessons” she loves to share in her newsletter.

    • Jester says

      Clue: Shallow = she was in ‘Shallow Hal’. If this is true that she said this, why would she think that the ‘unwashed’ could even afford 20 cheap purses?

  14. LeahLynn28 says

    Reese Witterspoon?”Silver spoon” is a good clue…
    After her arrest and the “Do you know who i am?” drunk reaction…nothing about her surprises me anymore.She was born rich…and apparently dumb too.
    Well,i can’t afford a 1,000 “decent” handbag,my family is not rich like hers…but at least i’m not a dumb d-bag like her and i never wanted to be rich,i’m not poor,but i like my life the way it is now.My father worked very hard until he got too sick to work(after a serious heart disease and two heart attacks) and we were never rich.She’s an idiot,i hope you solve this blind and expose this idiot.She deserves to be exposed as the stupid idiot she is.I guess that after this blind is solved,she’s the one who will have to learn a lesson…

  15. austinmocean says

    Gwyneth Paltrow. “Shallow” actress as in Shallow Hal. And “battle” the crowds, referring to her husband’s band Coldplay being on the soundtrack to the new Hunger Games film, where the kids have to, you know, “battle” each other. To the death. Not unlike the people on Black Friday (sort of).

    • austinmocean says

      Or it could be Jennifer Lawrence, with the “battle” being reference to Hunger Games, and the picture of Target being reference to her bow-and-arrow. Also, being born with a “silver spoon” in her mouth referring to Silver Linings Playbook. But I really, really don’t want this to be Jennifer. It seems so out of character and if this is her, I don’t want to know.

  16. Dave says

    Gotta be that airhead Gwyneth Paltrow.

    While hard work is a good way to get ahead, being born rich with your foot in the door is easier.

    • bahbi2040 says

      I can’t wait for it! She just needs to go away. Hoping and praying to.the god of Karma to make her evaporate… Wait… That will pollute all the air on earth!

  17. bec215 says

    Hmm…Reese Witherspoon’s an award-winning actress and her father was a doctor – but a military one, and they don’t make a ton of money … she spent part of her childhood on a base in Germany. Not exactly the posh life hinted at. The phrase “Not a great handbag, mind you, but a decent one” sounds to me like someone older – the phrase ‘handbag’ isn’t very common these days – and “mind you” is very formal. I’m going with Meryl Streep. Her father was a pharmaceutical executive, and her mother an art editor; she went to Vassar and Yale, and both sides of her family are loaded with famous historical figures and landowners and politicians.

  18. tweety77 says

    I’m going to say Gwyneth Paltrow.
    She’s been pretty tactless about a variety of other things in the past and was born into a Hollywood family, attended private school, house in the Hamptons, etc, and the clue I spotted was ‘The shallow actress’ because she was in Shallow Hal. (or is that reaching too far?)

  19. AbbyFab says

    This sounds like Goop. I work hard too, but I don’t feel like spending my money on a handbag that costs the same price as a car.