The Assistant at the Border

atf[Lainey Gossip] This blind riddle is about a celebrity and his assistant, and what it might be like to work for a celebrity as an assistant.

Some of the benefits? You get to be part of that culture and you’re surrounded by creativity – in this case, I guess – and you get to travel around the world.

The downside? Sometimes, in travelling around the world, you’re asked to break the law. Not a big deal.

He flew to another country to start work on a new movie. His assistant came with him on the flight and he asked her to take his bags so he could save time. At customs they were curious as to why he didn’t have any luggage. And when he told them his belongings were with his assistant, they brought her in too. In his belongs – and remember she was the one transporting them – they found a few joints. Not a lot, and just for recreational use, and he certainly wasn’t dealing but you know the sh-t that can come down on your ass for taking drugs across a border, right? I don’t have to tell you this, right? They were detained for a couple of hours and the weed was confiscated, but in the end, they were released without drama, without incident. So they were lucky, or privileged, I can’t decide.

But the point is, that’s what’s asked of you as a celebrity assistant. If he wants you to carry his marijuana on your person, knowing that if you get busted, that could totally f-ck up your status, well, you do it anyway. Because you’re the subordinate and powerful and also because you’re so used to the special treatment he receives, you think it might extend to you. In this case, happily for her, it did. But it’s still a risk you have to be willing to take.

And as for the celebrity? I know people who feel bad just asking me for a ride to work, even though it’s on my way. They don’t want to be an inconvenience. When you’re famous? When you’re famous, sometimes you don’t even feel bad to ask an employee to hold your dope in violation of international law.


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49 comments to The Assistant at the Border

  • Runningdude1

    I am going to say Craig Robinson because he got busted for pot the other day but he appears to be a cool guy so I cannot imagine him treating an assistant like that but who knows.

    • PandoraWolf

      I could totally see him doing an improv stand-up routine while getting processed. Not enough to get in more trouble, but enough to sort of chill out the station while he was there. Put everyone in a good mood.

  • Ana-nj

    Celebrity: Michael Craig Robinson

  • packerpoke

    Cory from Glee.

  • buttersmom

    Craig Robinson

  • jonesing

    James Franco-the word “privileged” made me think of him-or should that be “entitled” instead?

  • wmariah

    The always funny Craig Robinson?

  • redstilettos

    Bieber? This really could be any celeb, but I was thinking Canadian stoners.

  • josette

    Craig Roberts

  • josette

    Sorry I think his name is Craig Robertson

  • Angel

    Justin Timberlake?
    Just taking a stab in the dark but he was in Friends with “benefits”, and his new movie Runner Runner was filmed in Puerto Rico if I’m not mistaken. Plus, in past interviews he’s referred to his assistant as one of his best friends.

  • newsjunkie

    hmmmmmm, Leo D?

  • kitteekat

    Zac Efron?

  • kitteekat

    Actually, change to Matthew McConaughey

  • DivaKarma

    ALL OF THEM!!! As a former high profile celeb assistant, you are asked to carry much much more including “assisting” lovers, mistresses, and illegitimate children on flights and travel. Oh not to mention WADS of cash as well.

    • Bromance1979

      Wow… I can only imagine the stories you could tell!

      I doubt it was Craig Robinson, as many have guessed. His arrest history suggests he carries his own drugs. It’s probably someone much more high profile, to the point they think they’re a god and can walk all over the little guy.

  • jgirl828

    James Franco

  • fishfish123

    Craig Robinson?

  • stolidog

    The guy from the office who was just detained in the Bahamas?

  • callmedave

    Not a lot of clues, but I feel this is probably about a Director. And not a serious one, given Lainey’s sarcastic “surrounded by creativity – in this case, I guess” remark. So as a guess I’ll say guess Michael Bay.

  • hadapurpura

    And why exactly carry marihuana across the border? It’s not like you can’t get it anywhere you want, legal of not. It’s called weed for a reason.

  • jerzeygirl

    Going w/Brad Pitt on this one.

    • jerzeygirl

      Over in London filming a new movie.

    • U2Me3

      It’s not Pitt. Pitt is in London without his long-time assistant, who is a man BTW, because he sent his assistant to Australia with Jolie to helping Jolie (and her assistant) with the movie she’s there to direct. There are photos of Jolie scouting for locations and Pitt’s assistant is with her. He’s not the only pothead in Hollywood, you know.

  • stacat1

    No idea..could be many people. Whoever he is- he’s a total douche.
    Sounds like something Bieber would do..Stupid, callous, entitled. I mean if you are so sad and lazy to have bodyguards carry your sad scrawny butt up the Great Wall of China..this fits that kind of move.

    And just by acknowleding that the bags were his to customs – he could legally still be detained/charged. They are lucky it was just confiscated (not sure what country they were entering). Though he would take his innocent asst down with him.
    You don’t get off by merely having someone carry your bags WHEN YOU ARE WITH THEM.

  • FreddyCellophane

    Craiggers Robinson

  • dontpanik

    Woody Harrelson

  • mykindoftown


  • I Am PunkA

    Craig Robinson.

    Just got pinched for weed in the Bahamas, of all places.

  • igotthisone

    Gee, maybe a clue about these subjects beyond recreational MJ use would help.

  • britbrat86

    Everyone is jumping and saying Justin Beiber I know. . . I’m going to go on a limb here and say its one of the Jonas Brothers.

  • raslebol

    James franco ? he’s working in Canada and his assistant is a woman
    Brad Pitt? He’s working in England and his assistand is a woman

  • DesertGhost

    Sounds like a Jack Black type. It may have been him but I am rhinking someone a tad younger.

  • la.dolce.vita

    Justin Bieber

    Sounds like something he would do.

  • rudy

    First thought Brad Pitt, but he doesn’t seem smug enough.

    What a douchebag.

  • exnetworkpro

    This has to be the Biebs, but I kinda want it to be Snoop Lion (Dogg?).

  • tellmemore

    This makes me think of Brad Pitt.

  • memememeee

    Justin Bieber.
    He’s making a new concert movie. (Can’t believe I know this blah)

  • lalaworld

    Nicolas Cage? He just landed in China to film a new movie

  • kavlavender

    Seth Rogen, or James Franco. They are filming in Vancouver right now, and they like weed. James just arrived this week.

  • MademoiselleRose

    Who knows, but I’ll say Beibs because he’s just that sort of person it seems.

    Assistants doing this going into any Asian country had better say no … they would go to jail for years/life for that sort of thing. They won’t be letting anyone off.

  • jasper

    I was tempted to say Zach, but he’s too nice a guy to do that to someone else. A couple of the Monuments Men cast also came to mind, but that movie wrapped some time back.

    I did hear about Craig R’s “trouble” this week, though. If I hadn’t recently seen This Is The End with him, I wouldn’t have known he runs with Apatow’s stoner buds. Then again, he did do Z&M with Kevin & Mewes and Rogen, previously. No toking going on there. LOL

  • Lelaina Pierce

    It can’t be Craig Robinson, though he did just get arrested for weed.
    Here’s why:
    He was in the Bahamas for a comedy show, not a movie.
    The blind says they were released “without incident”. Being arrested, appearing before a judge, and ordered to pay a $1000 fine is certainly an “incident.”
    This is someone who wasn’t in the news.

    With all that said, I think it’s Franco.

  • ravenglass

    Jason Statham
    I thought maybe ‘transporting’ was a clue.(The Transporter)
    He’s filming Expendables 3 in Bulgaria.

  • Zap The Sheep

    I going to say Jim Carrey. Blind Riddle? Riddler?

  • ToraTora

    Justin Timberlake
    Going by some of the phrases and words here:
    Justin starred in the movie, “Friends With Benefits”
    Justin has a song, “Ain’t No Big Deal”.
    Timberlake wanted to play The Riddler in “Batman”.
    Culture and Creativity are words Justin has used in a social network posting.
    I think there are probably more clues, perhaps the rant mimics a movie character Justin has played. I’m guessing this has to be JT.