The Assistant at the Border

atf[Lainey Gossip] This blind riddle is about a celebrity and his assistant, and what it might be like to work for a celebrity as an assistant.

Some of the benefits? You get to be part of that culture and you’re surrounded by creativity – in this case, I guess – and you get to travel around the world.

The downside? Sometimes, in travelling around the world, you’re asked to break the law. Not a big deal.

He flew to another country to start work on a new movie. His assistant came with him on the flight and he asked her to take his bags so he could save time. At customs they were curious as to why he didn’t have any luggage. And when he told them his belongings were with his assistant, they brought her in too. In his belongs – and remember she was the one transporting them – they found a few joints. Not a lot, and just for recreational use, and he certainly wasn’t dealing but you know the sh-t that can come down on your ass for taking drugs across a border, right? I don’t have to tell you this, right? They were detained for a couple of hours and the weed was confiscated, but in the end, they were released without drama, without incident. So they were lucky, or privileged, I can’t decide.

But the point is, that’s what’s asked of you as a celebrity assistant. If he wants you to carry his marijuana on your person, knowing that if you get busted, that could totally f-ck up your status, well, you do it anyway. Because you’re the subordinate and powerful and also because you’re so used to the special treatment he receives, you think it might extend to you. In this case, happily for her, it did. But it’s still a risk you have to be willing to take.

And as for the celebrity? I know people who feel bad just asking me for a ride to work, even though it’s on my way. They don’t want to be an inconvenience. When you’re famous? When you’re famous, sometimes you don’t even feel bad to ask an employee to hold your dope in violation of international law.


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  1. Runningdude1 says

    I am going to say Craig Robinson because he got busted for pot the other day but he appears to be a cool guy so I cannot imagine him treating an assistant like that but who knows.

    • PandoraWolf says

      I could totally see him doing an improv stand-up routine while getting processed. Not enough to get in more trouble, but enough to sort of chill out the station while he was there. Put everyone in a good mood.

  2. jonesing says

    James Franco-the word “privileged” made me think of him-or should that be “entitled” instead?

  3. Angel says

    Justin Timberlake?
    Just taking a stab in the dark but he was in Friends with “benefits”, and his new movie Runner Runner was filmed in Puerto Rico if I’m not mistaken. Plus, in past interviews he’s referred to his assistant as one of his best friends.

  4. DivaKarma says

    ALL OF THEM!!! As a former high profile celeb assistant, you are asked to carry much much more including “assisting” lovers, mistresses, and illegitimate children on flights and travel. Oh not to mention WADS of cash as well.

    • Bromance1979 says

      Wow… I can only imagine the stories you could tell!

      I doubt it was Craig Robinson, as many have guessed. His arrest history suggests he carries his own drugs. It’s probably someone much more high profile, to the point they think they’re a god and can walk all over the little guy.

  5. callmedave says

    Not a lot of clues, but I feel this is probably about a Director. And not a serious one, given Lainey’s sarcastic “surrounded by creativity – in this case, I guess” remark. So as a guess I’ll say guess Michael Bay.

  6. hadapurpura says

    And why exactly carry marihuana across the border? It’s not like you can’t get it anywhere you want, legal of not. It’s called weed for a reason.

    • U2Me3 says

      It’s not Pitt. Pitt is in London without his long-time assistant, who is a man BTW, because he sent his assistant to Australia with Jolie to helping Jolie (and her assistant) with the movie she’s there to direct. There are photos of Jolie scouting for locations and Pitt’s assistant is with her. He’s not the only pothead in Hollywood, you know.

  7. stacat1 says

    No idea..could be many people. Whoever he is- he’s a total douche.
    Sounds like something Bieber would do..Stupid, callous, entitled. I mean if you are so sad and lazy to have bodyguards carry your sad scrawny butt up the Great Wall of China..this fits that kind of move.

    And just by acknowleding that the bags were his to customs – he could legally still be detained/charged. They are lucky it was just confiscated (not sure what country they were entering). Though he would take his innocent asst down with him.
    You don’t get off by merely having someone carry your bags WHEN YOU ARE WITH THEM.

  8. britbrat86 says

    Everyone is jumping and saying Justin Beiber I know. . . I’m going to go on a limb here and say its one of the Jonas Brothers.

  9. raslebol says

    James franco ? he’s working in Canada and his assistant is a woman
    Brad Pitt? He’s working in England and his assistand is a woman

  10. DesertGhost says

    Sounds like a Jack Black type. It may have been him but I am rhinking someone a tad younger.

  11. kavlavender says

    Seth Rogen, or James Franco. They are filming in Vancouver right now, and they like weed. James just arrived this week.

  12. MademoiselleRose says

    Who knows, but I’ll say Beibs because he’s just that sort of person it seems.

    Assistants doing this going into any Asian country had better say no … they would go to jail for years/life for that sort of thing. They won’t be letting anyone off.

  13. jasper says

    I was tempted to say Zach, but he’s too nice a guy to do that to someone else. A couple of the Monuments Men cast also came to mind, but that movie wrapped some time back.

    I did hear about Craig R’s “trouble” this week, though. If I hadn’t recently seen This Is The End with him, I wouldn’t have known he runs with Apatow’s stoner buds. Then again, he did do Z&M with Kevin & Mewes and Rogen, previously. No toking going on there. LOL

  14. Lelaina Pierce says

    It can’t be Craig Robinson, though he did just get arrested for weed.
    Here’s why:
    He was in the Bahamas for a comedy show, not a movie.
    The blind says they were released “without incident”. Being arrested, appearing before a judge, and ordered to pay a $1000 fine is certainly an “incident.”
    This is someone who wasn’t in the news.

    With all that said, I think it’s Franco.

  15. ravenglass says

    Jason Statham
    I thought maybe ‘transporting’ was a clue.(The Transporter)
    He’s filming Expendables 3 in Bulgaria.

  16. ToraTora says

    Justin Timberlake
    Going by some of the phrases and words here:
    Justin starred in the movie, “Friends With Benefits”
    Justin has a song, “Ain’t No Big Deal”.
    Timberlake wanted to play The Riddler in “Batman”.
    Culture and Creativity are words Justin has used in a social network posting.
    I think there are probably more clues, perhaps the rant mimics a movie character Justin has played. I’m guessing this has to be JT.