Lucretia’s Man Won’t Marry Her

EOnlineWe are really starting to feel sorry for Lucretia Johnson.

Last time we checked in on the quasi bloated, not preggers blond babe, she was seriously turning to alcohol to cope with her seemingly downward spiral. She’s just not what (and where) she used to be, career-wise, ya know?

Adding to Lucretia’s woes, her newest beau (with whom things have gotten quite serious since we last checked in) is making matters worse. Much.

See, it appears as if L.J. and her dude are on the marriage track.

Unfortunately for Ms. Johnson, what she doesn’t know is that despite tabloid appearances, her man has “no intention” of ever walking down the aisle with her, claims an insider.

In fact, he is so grossed out by her, impeccable sources tell us, that he’s still sleeping with his ex!

At a cheap nail salon in L.A., the ex was bitching to her manicurist about her ex’s new high-profile romance:

“He has been f–king me practically during their whole relationship.”

If that wasn’t bad enough, apparently Lucretia’s dude (who’s blah in every way, hint, hint) was also talking about how “disgusted” he was with Johnson, admitting he was only using her for her money and fame.

Thing is, Ms. Johnson plays into this, totally. She’s completely his sugar mama and is cutting out friends who try to tell her that she’s just being used.

Apparently, the ex lady admitted they stopped doing the nasty behind Lucretia’s back because the dude needed to keep up appearances in the press that he and Johnson are totally in love.

Could this get any grosser?

Wake up and smell the future, Lucretia! It’s only going to get stinkier if you keep hanging with guys like this.

And It Ain’t: Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, Britney Spears

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95 comments to Lucretia’s Man Won’t Marry Her

    • webgirl1

      Is Christina already involved with someone else? The clues don’t fit Simpson because she’s got a hugely successful clothing/shoe line. Christina’s career is in a downward spiral though. However, I don’t see CA wanting to walk down the aisle so soon. Is the ink on the divorce papers even dry?

    • Yeas

      You beat me to it… She’s on a downward spiral for sure.

    • katie201

      I want to agree with you because I really think this is xtina. However, in ted’s last LJ post he states that her talent is “questionable at best” and that he’s using the term ‘celebrity’ lightly when talking about her. That just doesn’t seem to fit with xtina. He also mentions her days as acheerleader in the happiest place on earth academy which made me think of disney which does make me think of xtina. I wish i had an original guess its just that neither jess nor xtina seem to fit PERFECTLY.

      • suedechik79

        isnt lucretia the one that had so much anal that shes probably made herself infertile for life? that fits jessica way more than xtina.

      • APlusFour

        suede, how do you know that fits jessica more than christina?…or do you just mean she’s the number one guess for that BI?

    • iheartandycohen

      It could be quite possible that Matt is back with his ex. He had a girlfriend the entire time and dumped her to stay with Xtina in Hawaii back in the Fall. The ex was had no idea he had been cheating on her all throughout the filming of Burlesque.

  • texbrook

    Jessica Porny Simpson. What is he going to do about the upcoming wedding?

  • webgirl1

    But Jessica isn’t in a downward spiral. Her clothing line is about to break a billion in sales. She tapped an untapped clothing market where most celebs miss the boat.

    • Brian

      Exactly. She is making money hand over fist!

    • Dont Know For Sure

      That what I was thinking too. Don’t tell me that Ted believes if you don’t have constant media coverage you are on “a downward spiral” even if you are still successful & rich. Plus even with a what 10-15 lb weight gain Jess is considered “gross”, huh if so that guy is weird. Also someone commented earlier that the person’s talent is questionable to me Jessica has a good voice *shrug*

  • KrisG

    It’s obviously Christina, she’s the only one rumored to be turing to alcohol during her current downward spiral. The “her career is not what it use to be” assumes recently and as we know Jessica’s career went down years ago. Xtina is the troubled blond right now.

  • margochanning

    This is sooooo obviously Jessica it’s almost a joke. You can’t call this a blind, it’s only a wink

  • bananas

    Jessica or Xtina..they both fit.

  • heartbreaker

    reads like Christina Aguilera but positive it’s Jessica Simpson.

  • Tidefan

    Christina’s my guess. Her “BOYfriend” (emphasis on the word BOY mine)looks like a sleazebag and has already used her to promote his “band” back when her divorce was announced. She’s been drinking heavily and is bloated in all the most recent pics of her.

    Jessica may have her issues with her “singing” career but she’s sitting pretty with $65 million made last year from her handbags/shoes/clothes/etc. plus I, personally, have not seen anything about her in the media regarding a “downward spiral”. If making $65 million is a downward spiral then count me in!

    Link to latest Christina “episode”
    http://omg.yahoo.com/news/source-christina-aguilera-beau-had-sex-in-bathroom-at-family-bash/57206

  • msp96302

    Sorry, I still contend that Lucretia is Paris. This scuzzy Cy Waits would totally still be doing his ex, too. Plus, he doesn’t have a job anymore – Wynn fired him after the arrest. He’s literally got no income besides her.

    Also, I really doubt that Keri Johnson, he ex with 2 kids, would still be “doing” him after this. Besides, Keri lives in SF and probably wouldn’t be caught dead in a “cheap nail salon in L.A.”

    That said, I do not believe this is JSimp and her fugly dude.

    • Tidefan

      Even though i can’t stand paris, cy waits is not broke by any stretch of the imagination. Cy and his brother Jesse are nightclub moguls, who partnered with nightlife czar Victor Drai to open Drai’s Afterhours, Tryst at the Wynn and XS at Encore. Steve Wynn bought Drai out of Tryst and XS, which are hugely successful. Cy stayed on the “manage” the club but even after being “fired”, he still gets paid a percentage of that club AND the other’s PLUS the money they money they got off the top. He may be scuzzy but he darn sure is NOT broke!

      • msp96302

        LOL…methinks you have mad copy/paste skils! Are you going to talk about his “business chops” too?? haaa….

    • Layale

      I don’t know if many would consider Paris quasi bloated.

      • msp96302

        [link without explanation deleted]

      • Tidefan

        LOL@ msp96302: You are correct! I am a WIZ at the copy/paste:) And again, i agree with you on the “scuzzy” part but you can’r deny that dude IS paid. Paris is not gonna waste her time on a broke guy. She’d rather spend THEIR money than hers!

    • jenb

      Paris is a heiress she won’t be broke anytime soon.

  • DesignStar

    Jessica Simpson has a $750 million fashion empire, I would say her career is flourishing, not in a “downward spiral.” This can’t be her.

    • DesignStar

      eh who am I kidding, it can’t be anyone else but Jessica!

      • kelno

        I think she imagines her career as her singing & acting which she has not been doing, which is a major bummer for her. She likes to be in the spotlight and her fashion empire isn’t putting enough shine on her, hence, dating and being engaged seems to put her on some tabloid covers….

  • Bambi

    It might be Jessica Simpson but i think it’s Christina Aguilera…it’s been reported that she’s been drinking a lot in the past year (which i believe judging from her appearance), that an intervention is hopeless because she would just cut off everyone who wanted to help her. She doesn’t look happy in the pics with her new guy at all and we all know how *great* her career has been going lately.

    Jessica at least has a successful clothing line and doesn’t seem to be trying so hard to sing or act any more. She is already engaged plus her boyfriend seems way happier to play this ”i’m dating a celebrity and we are so happy” game than Christina’s.

  • Violet

    This sounds a lot like Christina. Jessica’s music/acting career has tanked, but she has very successful clothing/shoes/handbags/perfume lines. But, I don’t know if Christina and her current boyfriend Matt would be on the marriage track considering she and Jordan JUST got divorced, whereas Jessica is engaged (and bought her own ring).

    • Violet

      Actually, I take my guess back. After googling the previous Lucretia Johnson BVs, it’s Jessica. Christina doesn’t fit the other blinds, whereas Jessica fits perfectly.

  • Seanx40

    So the least blind item of the week?

  • Jade

    Nobody but Christina. I was watching the Wendy Williams show the other day(don’t judge lol) and she said that her family are concerned about the influence this new guy has on her, and how they party and drink all day long. Also I heard on the radio that her and her mom are on the outs and she got into it with her brother’s girlfriend at a family gathering.

    • suedechik79

      previous blinds dont fit. xtinas just going through another self medicating period, shell prob get a great album out of it.

      • Jade

        Okay, I agree with you after reading it again. This person is either engaged or about to be, and I can’t see Xtina jumping into another marriage so quickly. I think she’s having “fun” right now, or as you put it a self medicating period. So I’m going to go with Jessica Simpson. And my reason is because of this blind a few months back. I remember reading it and forgot that Lucretia is allegedly Jessica Simpson.

  • fotobandi

    [link without explanation deleted]

  • Olivia Clueless

    why isn’t there more guesses about Paris, i think this sounds just like her: she’s definitely not what she used to be (we’re on the K era), a few years back even people living under a rock (me) knew who she was/ what was she doing…”her newest beau” i think is common sense that she change man a lot i don’t really know how long she’s been with this new guy but it seems like i record to her :P and i read somewhere that she was thinking in settle down i have kids

  • gigipeach

    totally jessica simpson.

    the ‘stinkier’ comment refers to the nasty stuff she used to do with John mayer.

    i feel sorry for her too :(

  • PhoebeS

    I agree Christina – Jessica is hauling in huge cash with her successful fashion empire.

  • AliC

    Sounds like xtina to me. She has been a hot mess lately. Porny Jess is said to bring in one billion, yes billion this year for her fashion line. Plus xtina has been drinking up a storm and passing out all over Hollywood. Her boyfriend is an expiring musician and doing what he can to get some notice for his band.

  • aeduko

    Jessica, without a doubt.

    She hasn’t had an entertainment career for a few years.
    Johnson is her fiance’s last name.
    He’s taken heat for having nothing on the ball and just using her.
    His prior relationship came up in the beginning of his with Jessica
    She pays him per month
    She’s drinking and bloated
    “disgusted” “stinkier” John Mayer and her love of farting

    The only thing that makes me say Hmmmm is that Ted says they’re on the marriage track, not engaged, although engaged would probably give it all away.

    It’s Jessica. Although I see how Xtina could fit.

  • magnolia

    Jessica Simpson – she is famously passes gas. Didnt she say that her gas smells like roses back in a 2008 interview and i think there was also internet goss about her passing gas in a business meeting last year.

    another clue – her man is blah in every way. Eric and Johnson are common first and last names in USA.

    The AIAs are clues – KK reality star like JS, Britney – singer like JS. not sure about Selena Gomez though

  • magnolia

    ps. did i remember hearing she fell out her with her bff ken paves? could he be one of friends she is CUTTING (he is a hairstylist) out when they tell her she is being used?

    pps the passing gas is relevant because the blind talks about “gross”, smell the future, going to get stinkier…

  • SpoiledFrog

    christina. i think this can be proven with the latest Us Weekly

  • adamsjk

    Xtina FTW. I think that “blah in every way, hint, hint” is a reference to Xtina’s song lyric “you are beautiful IN EVERY single WAY” (emphasis added). I also agree with Spoiled Frog that the most recent gossip about Xtina supports this.

  • hush

    Would it be too stupid to guess Leann R? She is kinda creepy these days.

  • magnolia

    previous BI on lucretia also points to Jessica. I couldnt figure out earlier why Selena Gomez was an AIA bc I didnt think JS was a Disney girl but in the earlier Lucretia BI, BG gives a hint about Disney and someone pointed out that JS tried out for Mickey Mouse Club.

    Mags are always commenting on how bloated JS is as well.

    Think previous BI rules out Christina on this one – says Lucretia wasnt that talented and think most people agree that Christina can sing

    • webgirl1

      Even though Jessica’s singing career is in a slump, she is talented & has a great voice. This sounds like someone who can barely sing a la Britney though it’s not her.

  • chichilala

    Wasn’t Jessica S. described sometime in the last year as not brushing her teeth because it made her teeth feel too smooth? That’s a definite gross-out. Imagine kissing that! I’d go with Jessica, despite the fact that Xtina has been flopping in public everywhere.

  • Eryn

    The other magazines are talking about Jessica S. losing weight for the upcoming nuptials. It’s GOTTA be Christina. She’s drinking, and is very obviously bloated, and within the past two weeks, has had two major public flubs, not to mention her movie didn’t do well. Her career isn’t over, but it doesn’t match what it once was.

  • lifestinks

    It has to be Jessica Simpson. The woman looks drunk.

  • Tru Tru2

    This one reaks of X-Tina, she has had no good appearances, except at every bar in town..and her man is always holding her up–cause she always drunk.

    he seems dis-interested and looks to totally be not his type..

    no affection, just holding her up, with a disgusted look on his face.

    her friends and family have tried to warn her and she gets pissed off and will not listen..that came out this week..

    her album sales–very weak.

  • irishmarty

    CHRISTINA!! Jessica isn’t in a downward spiral. Isn’t her clothes line worth a billion dollars or so?! That would anyone happy.

    Nope its Christina. Burlesque bombed; her last video was embarrassing; and it’s obvious the guy she is with, is using her.

  • pat362

    I’m going with Christina. The semi-bloated and turning to alcohol seem to fit her more than Jessica and the part about not being what and where she was career wise points to Christina. The superbowl notwihstanding, She still had to cancel her tour because her album was a disaster and her movie will only win awards if they are Razzies.

  • Elfie

    I think Ted want to play with our minds. He said she wasn’t talented. But Christina is very talented, and I believe Jessica had an amazing voice too(?) Someone correct me if I’m wrong.
    And, well, Paris is well seated right now.
    Maybe someone else?

  • hopefulromantic

    I agree with Elfie — Ted is full of crap most of the time. I would assume the “and it isn’t…” clues would point to Jessica, because Kim Kardashian dated Nick Lachey, Selena Gomez is from the same town in Texas as Simpson, and Britney Spears is pop princess/competed against Jess for MMC (which Jess lost). The article is also tagged under “hair,” which would point to Jess’ hairline with Ken Paves.

    However, Jessica just had an article out about how she is going to sell around $1 billion next year with her clothing/shoe/handbag line sales. Her career is no where near a downward spiral — we all know she is not a singer in the slightest anymore (yet her latest country album did sell well).

    I am sticking with Christina Aguilera mostly because a) everyone thought she was pregnant again when she recently gained a ton of weight, b) Jessica Simpson’s weight is old news to everyone at this point, c) Jessica and Eric have announced their engagement, so it wouldn’t “appear” that they are on the marriage track — that’s a fact. Plus there are various outlets saying Christina is a hot a** mess with alcohol.

  • kcphilly

    I haven’t read the previous blinds about “L.J.” but it sounds a lot like Christina A.

    “gross” and “stinkier” could be hints about her song Dirrty. She also has/had a dog named Stinky that she showed on MTV’s Diary.
    And the picture of Brit…Xtina and Brit have much more of a connection than her and Jessica. Plus Jess is losing weight these days don’t think it’s her.

  • digitallyspeaking

    Okay, what I’m thinking is…a downward spiral doesn’t have to mean financially. Next, they both, Christina and Jessica, are definately tops for this. They both have put on weight, they both have been drinking alot (yes, I saw pics of Jess wasted too), they both have a-holes on their arms.
    I think, and it’s not the first time especially lately, that blinds are deliberately alluding to more than one possibility. So I say it’s both of them!

  • dee123

    I’m saying Christina because Jessica has her very successful business to fall back on to.

  • Sheesh – what wrong with you guys. This is definitely Xtina – just read the cover of US this week! All of her friends are worried about her and her new boyfriend who drink constantly! She has imploded in weight in just one year (has Paris or Jessica done this? No. And in fact Jessica is going through big time workouts to get ready for her wedding).

    Xtina mashed the lyrics to the National Anthem at the Super Bowl and almost fell off the stage at the Grammy’s – and she looks like a whale. Nuff said.

  • Erin5

    There is no way this can be Jessica Simpson. Per the link below from February 4th, Ted said that Jessica has only one blind vice and that it was from a few years ago. So as much as this sounds like her, it has to be Christina or someone else.

    http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b224188_bitch-back_duh_kristen_stewarts_sexual.html

  • tbonekitty

    This must be Xtina as Jessica is now worth a billion dollars for her fashion empire. And Xtina is bloated, in a career downward spiral.

  • Whatzmyname

    Jessica Simpson. Her weight fluctuates regularly. Her unemployed man pretends to want to marry her. The word ‘stinky’ and ‘smellier’ was used regularly. JS is known for farting a lot and not brushing her teeth! She even admitted she can go several days without brushing her teeth.

  • webgirl1

    Christina and her man arrested for public intoxication http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20469861,00.html

  • compwhiz

    Definitely Xtina. What a trainwreck! Looks like she’s trying to follow in the infamous footsteps of Britney Spears…

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