Two Couples Breaking Up Over One Affair

tom cruise katie holmes 2EOnline – Enough with the skanky, closeted “straight” movie stars out getting photographed with their pretend girlfriends while doing guys on the side.

This week we’re goin’ back to those sneaky heterosexuals who originally wrote the book on cheating on their partners, not to mention the public!

Quidget and Bridget Barks-a-Little are a Hollywood dream couple, as in they both do it all with darling personalities and multitalented careers. And oh, aren’t they gorgeous to look at, too, what with their sweet smiles and even sweeter kiddies?

Then there’s the much darker celeb duo known as Harry and La-Feelya Fun-Tanked, an amazingly hard-partying twosome who are much better known for their combative social and cohabitation skills than they are for any picture of domestic bliss.

I mean, most folks don’t even know Harry and La-Feelya have kids, that’s how much their domestic side is never played in the press—or any place else, for that matter. White-picket-fence types they’re so not.

So isn’t it so interesting that La-Feelya, who’s still awesome-looking with her curves and cat-like attraction, and who has pretty much decided she’s had it with too-far-gone Harry, just recently set her sights on a bacon-earner with a little more, how shall we say, predictability (i.e., steady paycheck and richly rewarded career)? Yep.

So much so that…

La-Feelya just went whole horny hog on the poor Quidget (who’s marginally handsome) and seduced the crap outta him—almost literally! Quidget almost forgot sex could be this hot again! Which explains, of course, why he and La-Feelya have decided to leave their respective families and hook up together, permanently. So glad to know it’s not only the gays who make dumbass decisions after a few really hot nights in bed!

Only one little prob: Quidget and La-Feelya haven’t told their spouses yet. Ouch.

Wonder if this heartbreak will actually come to pass? Something tells me that once Bridget Barks-a-Lot finds out what her ordinarily soft-spoken hubby’s been up to, she’s gonna call up every soccer mom she can for a little sympathy. Then she’s going to see to it that every cent of her family’s money will never be touched by slinky La-Feelya’s slim and very gorgeous fingers.

In fact, I guarantee it.

So, here’s what I predict: Once Quidget tells Bridget of his departure intentions (which I hear he’s planning on doing momentarily), he will be knocked so far back on his slightly soft ass he’ll just as quickly beg Bridget to forget it—he just can’t go through with it all, breaking up his family like that.

But it will be too late. Bridget ain’t the type of gal to go for that weakass apologetic crap. She’ll want out for good. It’s a certainty.

Oh, and what’s Harry doing through all of this turmoil, you ask?

Just getting high. He doesn’t care either way, really.

And It Ain’t: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes; Sting and Trudie Styler; Jerry O’Connell and Rebecca Romijn

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127 comments to Two Couples Breaking Up Over One Affair

  • Yan

    I saw one of the couples of Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony.. um.. perhaps for Quidget and Bridget Barks-a-Little

    • stinkweed

      This is a decent guess, but I think for the other couple. I don’t think J-lo is exactly the “soccer mom” type, and we never see their kids.

      Harry & LaFeelya Fun-Tanked: Her: slim and gorgeous fingers, curves, cat-like. Him: doesn’t have a steady paycheck or rewarding career, gets high, doesn’t care if his wife leaves. Both: hard partying, combative, barely ever see their kid, not seen as domestic

      Quidget & Bridget Barks-a-Little: Hollywood dream couple, multitalented, darling personalities, sweet smiles, sweet kiddies (this at least sounds like Jen Garner), gorgeous. Him: soft spoken, has paying, rewarding career. Her: soccer mom friends, not the type to forgive apology, has family money.

  • Yan

    say** not saw :oP

  • GuyIncognito

    Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Brad Hall as 1st couple

  • Yan

    I feel compelled to explain my Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony connection to the “And It Aints”

    Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes – friends, attended their wedding, rumored Scientology connection
    Sting and Trudie Styler – music couple, he’s a musician (as is Marc) and she is an actress/producer (as is JLo, among other things)
    Jerry O’Connell and Rebecca Romijn – couple that just had twins… JLO/Marc have twins.

    I can’t figure out who the other couple is tho. :o\

  • Jojo

    I thought of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner for the first couple.

  • Sue

    I personally am sure that #1 couple is Michelle Pfeiffer and David Kelley.
    Michelle Pfeiffer – cat-like (catwoman)
    David Kelley – white-picket-fence (his show “picket fences”)

    #2??? – Josh Brolin and Diane Lane??

    • sulkydog

      Good guess on #1. #2 don’t have kids.

      • Ben Dover

        josh brolin has 2 kids from a previous marriage, diane lane has one from her first marriage to christopher lambert. i definitely think they are the “dark celeb couple”.

    • sulkydog

      Ooops. Sorry, but the cat-like comment belongs to the argumentative wife #2. Plus, the comment about nice wife #1 is she will make sure he doesn’t get a dime of “her family’s” money. Don’t think Pfeiffer comes from big bucks.

      oooh, just thought of Tori Spelling & whats-his-name. She fits the wife #1 profile. Yeah yeah I know she technically doesn’t have dad’s money yet.

    • Gossip Fanatic

      I agree with diane lane and josh brolin for couple #2.

      On Eonline some popular guesses for couple #1 are Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann, Julia Louis-Dryfus and Brad Hall, Michelle Phieffer and David E. Kelly, or Tobey MacGuire and his wife. But the wife has to come from money, which narrows the field.

      • lize

        Tobey Maguire’s wife comes from money I would say. Her dad is the President and CEO of Universal Studios. They fit for the first couple but I wouldn’t consider either one of them “gorgeous to look at” though.

      • Gossip Fanatic

        Yes, I totally agree with you. I am really stumped for the first couple. I can’t think of one couple that fits all of the clues. Does Leslie Mann come from money? I can’t find any information online about it. But they might work if so?

  • DanielleGreenEyes

    Quidget and Bridget appears to be David and Victoria Beckham.

    Clues: “Softly-spoken” “Multi-talented” “Steady paycheck” “Soccer moms” sweet kids etcetc

    BUT says he is only marginally handsome and also says he has a slightly soft ass….never!! Becks is gorgeous and has buns of steel (I’m sure).

    So really I’m lost….

    • robin sparkles

      Not sure if Posh qualifies in the “darling personality” category, either.

    • a. s. Notch

      I agree couple #1 is Becks & Posh. Besides other hints, it seems like “Quidget” & “Bridget” refer to a British couple- “Quidget”(quidditch)= Harry Potter/”Bridget” as in Jones’ Diary…

      Couple 2, hmmmm….

      • drusilla

        Victoria Adams (Beckham’s) family isn’t rich. ‘her family’s money’… unless it’s badly worded, and what it really means is THE family money…

      • drusilla

        Also, I’d call Beckham more than marginally handsome. That man is hot enough to melt butter.

      • meh

        Everyone is hot enough to melt butter, unless they are a lizard like P. Diddy.

      • ch

        Victoria Adams aka posh’s family is rich.

        “Beckham’s father was an electronics engineer and the success of the family business meant a wealthy upbringing for Victoria and her siblings,Louise and Christian.”

    • ams

      i dont think its posh & becks. they already had a cheating scandal & she stayed…it says the lady would be outta there!

  • Plush

    Thanks for a Thankgiving blind. Eventhough it is a holiday I’m still on the web looking for gossip. I’m addicted and I need an intervention. I like eveyone’s guesses. Couple #1 Ben Afflect and Jen Garner, #2 JLo and Marc Anthony. Happy Holidays eveyone!!!

  • yummy mummy

    Could Harry and La-Feelya Fun-Tanked be Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick?

    • Jalisa

      It does says bacon earner in the post, if that was a hint

    • robin sparkles

      I think they’re actually a better bet for couple #1. He’s multi-talented (kinda – he’s in a band, too), and she has family money.

      • des

        agree for couple number 1. Kevin is def soft spoken and marginally handsome. I think the Sting/Trudie thing denotes it’s an older long lasting couple and Kevin is from the same generation of actors as Tom C. I think couple 2 is older as well cus it says she still has her looks. They are prob much further down on he hollywood pecking order.

      • isuckatblinditems

        Kevin & Kyra were also my choice.

      • Alex

        good guess. do they have kids?

      • Clearly

        that’s what I thought too. they also use the phrase ‘bacon’ earner.

      • Lola

        “Sweet smiles and sweeter kids” kids makes me think that they have small children though (like little Violet and Seraphina Affleck). Kevin and Kyra’s are older…

    • Gitano

      Yep. I think it’s them, too, although the “bacon-earner” clue makes me wonder because it’s so obvious. And, yes, Alex, they do have two children, although I don’t know their ages.

    • Jojo

      “And oh, aren’t they gorgeous to look at, too, what with their sweet smiles and even sweeter kiddies?”

      I am a gossip monger, and I have NEVER seen pix of them with their kids, so I don’t think this fits.

      • yummymummy

        but couple 2 is not photographed with their kiddies… that’s why i think Kevin & Kyra they are a better fit for #2. plus it says La-Feelya “just recently set her sights on a bacon-earner…”.

  • c

    its not Jlo and that dude.
    Quidget’s sppse to be gorgeous to look at

    and the other couple, it says most ppl dont know they have kids.
    well who doesnt know abt the twins?

  • Gitano

    I originally thought the woman doing the seducing was Halle Berry, what with the “dark” and “cat-like” description. (Didn’t she do cat woman also at some point–I seem to remember pics of her in a cat suit). However, I’m not sure if she is married with kids and I’m too lazy to look it up.

    If it’s not her, then I agree with the Michelle Pfeiffer/David E. Kelley guess.

  • lady clue

    Plus – If it was Ben Affleck / Jen Garner and JLo / Skeletor, don’t you think the blind you mention that there is history there? (Affleck / JLo)?
    I think Kevin Bacon / Kyra Sedgewick for couple 2 is a great guess. My first instinct!

  • Jennifer

    I don’t think couple #2 is JLo and Marc. Marc has a very high paying career and is uber-famous in Latin America. Plus, he cares very much about being married to Jennifer, and I think Ted would mention that this is round 2 for the cheating couple. But I agree with Ben and Jen for couple #1.

  • Shamon

    So far, Bridget and Quidget Barksalittle–dog clue (barksalittle) and Bridget comes from money, Quidget is pudgy. They are multi-talented and proud parents.

    Harry and La-Feelya–cat clue, two references to pigs (hog, bacon), they have children but don’t parade them around, Harry is unemployed with a drug problem. LaFeelya is tall and slim–sounds like an aging rock star with a former model wife…but not sure where the porcine/feline clues come in.

    I initially thought of Uma Thurman for some reason but I guess she’s not dating right now…

  • Shamon

    Ah, then no. Also, La Feelya and Harry are not married so not aging rockstar with model wife. Darnit, I’m bad at this!

  • Madame X

    I like the Bacon/Sedgwick guess.

    The names these blinds give people give me a headache, by the way.

  • Ben Dover

    tim robbins and susan sarandon for the dream couple
    josh brolin and diane lane for the dark celeb couple

    • Tito

      I don’t think Susan and Tim ever got married, did they?

    • stinkweed

      I don’t think after you’ve seen her t!ts, Susan Sarandon’s daughter could be called one of her “sweeter kiddies”.

      Just sayin’.

      I’m thinking the kids are small or they wouldn’t be “kiddies”.

  • DavidB

    I read “cohabitation” skills as meaning couple #2 weren’t married – which would exclude Diane and Josh.

    • stinkweed

      Except that they haven’t told their “spouses” yet. They are all married.

      • drusilla

        Common law marriage partners are also called spouses, at least, in court…

      • Gossip Fanatic

        That is a good point….I didn’t think about that because I was reading this blind as both being married, but you raise a good point.

      • stinkweed

        True, though I’ve never heard any gossip sites or shows or magazines EVER refer to couples who might qualify as common law as “spouses”. The term is generally reserved for people who are actually legally married.

      • boishglamorpuss

        Common Law no longer applies in CA.

    • amber

      Yeah I dont think couple 2 is married-the last line refers to domestic bliss not marital bliss

  • auntmidgee

    What about Brooke Shields and Chris Henchy for Bridget and Quidget? I only thought it due to kids and sweet smiles (Brooke was hocking toothpaste before eyelashes). Just a thought…

    As for the skank, I have no guess.

  • Me

    so, I’m pretty sure this isn’t right, but couple #2 sounded like Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt. I’m pretty sure they don’t have kids (actually, I REALLY hope they don’t!), but it said couple #2 was known as “amazingly hard-partying twosome who are much better known for their combative social and cohabitation skills than they are for any picture of domestic bliss” which sounds exactly like them. Just wanted to throw that out even if I think it’s wrong…

  • Yan

    couple two sounds older and irresponsible.. what about Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee?

  • SJ

    Breakdown of Clues:

    Bridget: Has or comes from family money, will “call every soccer mom”, not the type to go for weak apologies

    Quidget: Ordinarily soft spoken, steady paycheck, “richly rewarded” career, marginally handsome, slightly soft a**, can’t break up his family,

    B & Q together: Married, darling personalities, multi-talented, sweet smiles, sweeter kids, gorgeous to look at as a family

    Harry: Uses drugs, “too-far gone”

    LaFeelya: “still” gorgeous (suggests age), cat-like, slinky, slim and gorgeous fingers

    H & L together: Married, “darker”, combative relationship AND combative socially, hard-partying, multiple kids that are rarely seen,

    Note: It does NOT say all of them are actors. Could Bridget and Quidget be Tobey Maguire and his wife. She has serious family money, and they have a kid named Ruby “Sweetheart”

  • SJ

    ((((hating moderation)))

    How ‘about Tobey Mcguire and his wife for couple no. 1? She has serious family money and their kids’ name is Ruby Sweetheart.

  • Anonymous

    Please don’t interpret this as racist, but given the “darker” mention and the name LaFeelya, could Couple #2 be African-American? Do Ice-T and Coco have kids?

  • MLW

    Haley Berry and her boyfriend

  • hoyden

    Quidget and Bridget- could it be tom hanks and rita wilson. I don’t know if she comes from family money, but multi-tallented could refer to producing/acting etc. Rita strikes me as the soccer mum type and tom is marginally handsome.

  • hoyden

    Also, I think Rita would kick him to the curb if he said he was thinking of leaving her.

  • Leigh

    What about Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker for #2?

  • AC

    Has anyone consider Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin for Quidget and Bridget?

  • lisa

    Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin #1…. she comes from old Hollywood stock, has a squeaky clean image. Both massively successful. Good clean image. He’s just barely attractive.

    Lisa Riina and Harry Hamlin #2… catlike, aging, he has no career and they’re known for being hard partying tabloid fodder. You never hear about their domestic life. And I could see Lisa doing something like this.

  • flo

    What about Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, she comes from money, both are multi talented and they have kids.

  • Nuffy

    Of course! Paltrow and Martin for Quidget and Bridget. Der … can’t believe I didn’t think of this before!

  • scratchy

    It can’t be Tom and Rita. Tom I’m sure makes oodles of money and wouldn’t need anyone’s family money.

  • Alley Cat

    Couple #1: Julia Roberts & Husband or Courtney Cox & David A.

  • jen

    I was thinking of Scary Spice and her husband for #2.

  • whatevah

    couple #1 Cindy Crawford & Rande Gerber
    couple #2 Claudia Schiffer & Matthew Vaughn

  • Anaisnun

    Just to add to the earlier Julia Louis-Dreyfuss & Brad Hall comment – Julia is an heiress of the Louis-Dreyfuss family in France –billions$$$$.

  • whatevah

    1. gwenneth paltrow/chris martin
    2. claudia schiffer/matthew vaughn

    for couple # 1: Not saying chris is a pansy, but outside the mention regarding that aspect of the situation, they parade the kids, have multi talents (?), she comes with an american pedigree so to speak. they are a picture perfect couple (like cindy and rande my previous guess for #1) but between the 2 couples i would say chris is the most marginally attractive of the 2.

    for couple # 2: the sting/trudy connection is that trudy produced matthews films (ie snatch and lock stock and barrell)… curves, still awesome looking, catlike, boney fingers… claudia (blows gwenneth away and gwyn is younger!). The rebecca romijn connection as both being super models…. unsteady cash flow? i don’t know if matthew has worked in awhile… have children you rarely see or remember their names.

    not sure where tom and katie fit in, but i am pretty sure it is claudia for # 2.

  • trae

    Jennie Garth is a soccer mom. Her daughter plays soccer. Peter Faccinelli is always flying from film/tv sets for her games.

  • lisa

    I seriously don’t understand why no one else is guessing Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin

  • h00bydice

    Quidget: …Ordinarily soft spoken, steady paycheck, “richly rewarded” career, marginally handsome, slightly soft a**, can’t break up his family…

    The can’t break up his family makes me think of someone with a rather large showbiz family. What about Willam Baldwin & Chynna Phillips for couple #1? Chynna probably receives a share of the royalties from Mamas & Papas (family money).

    Couple #2 is harder. I immediately thought of Cat Woman wannabe Sean Young and her who-knows-what-he-does-hubby, Bob Lujan: Sean for her drunken, public spectacles; she & hubby are renowned drinkers & you never see their kids. But they’re divorced, aren’t they?

  • Memee

    For the 1st couple, the first ones to come to mind were William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman. He’s totally successful, “marginally” handsome, if that – and she seems like someone not to take crap from him if he cheated. For the 2nd couple, the only guess I can see is Catherine Z.J. She is apparently not one to marry for looks, and I can imagine she thinks that her “career” has run it’s course with Michael Douglas.

    • somethingoriginal

      CZJ and Michael Douglas also came to mind for me, except for the fiery relationship part. For that, I keep thinking Whitney and Bobby, although there probably would have been more about the trainwreck that is their lives.

      GOOP and Chris Martin definitely for #1.

    • lisa

      That’s a good guess for number 1.
      The “soccer moms” mentioned in the BI could be a hint towards Desperate Housewives

  • Tracey

    I say Tiger Woods and his wife for Quidget & Bridget. Don’t know about the other couple.

    • Anonymous

      Like, wrong coast. And lay off the guy until he gets out of the hospital, okay?

      • Anonymous

        Oops. According to Reuters, he is out of the hospital; he only had “facial lacerations”. But, still, the blind does say “Hollywood”, and it ain’t the one in Florida.

      • Tracey

        Relax, anonymous, it was only a guess. Admittedly, a bad one, but just trying to have a bit of fun and join in the guessing. Nothing personal.

  • Patrizio

    Hope I’m wrong but it sounds like Julia Louis-Dreyfuss/Brad Hall and Josh Brolin/Diane Lane. JLD comes from big money( Dad’s a billionaire), so there was a prenup and after 18 yrs someone’s gonna get paid. Also, Hall and Lane both in Must Love Dogs.

    • Shamon

      Don’t know if J. Brolin doesn’t care and just wants to get high all the time as mentioned in the blind but he does seem to be working fairly steadily and certainly more steadily than Brad Hall.

  • Marybeth222

    What about Cindy Crawford & Randi Gerber

    • Anonymous

      For which couple? If it’s Couple A, Cindy doesn’t have family money, and Gerber has a lucrative licensing deal for beverage mixers with his name on them with a company that was recently purchased in full by the world’s largest alcoholic beverage firm, so he’s not in need of money. I definitely know this; I recently completed a consultancy at a plant that packages the stuff. Couple B? They don’t fit either.

  • Anaisnun

    I have to say to Memee that I also first thought of William H Macy & Felicity Huffman when I read the blind, but then I shook my head and put it out of my mind.
    I also wanted to add in response to a previous idea-as a current LA-area resident- that quite often the use of the term Hollywood really refers more to the industry and not so much the actual geographic location; which quite a bit of is dedicated to tourists and can be rather skanky. I take it to mean only that they work in film or tv. It generally doesn’t mean they have a Hollywood address.

  • whatevah

    anonymous… cindy and rande were my initial guess… i get what you are saying as far as rande having found his own wealth/success prior to their marriage and being the current bread winner of the family since cindy retired and they had children… with that given… being married to her only raised his profile, stock and credibility. it is presumable that cindy was one of his main contibutors to his business endeavors, therefor “family $”. i don’t believe either of them came from wealth… yet we will never know what success rande would have achieved without her, possibly the same? a question that cannot be answered.

    with the claudia guess… she may have been an icon along with cindy, but has made miserable choices in men (ie; copperfield)… possibly with her connections to cindy access to rande would be possible… tying into the sting/trudy connection of “nots” based on her marriage to vaughn.

    • Anonymous

      But you’re ignoring the clues here. Bridget is independently wealthy or will be, and apparently that wealth came through some type of inheritance, hence the “family money” reference. Quidget may be dependent on or may be counting on Bridget’s family money. If they lived in a state with community property, Quidget might be counting on getting some of that “family money” in the divorce settlement. My point here was that 1) Cindy Crawford does not come from a wealthy family and 2) Rande Gerber does not need any of Cindy’s money thanks to that licensing deal, unless his legal problems are worse that we thought.

      And Claudia Schiffer as LaFeelya? I don’t see it. She’s said to be the opposite of “hot in bed”.

  • whatevah

    it also states that quidget is not the one with the money problem.

  • liv

    brad and angelina?

    • Anonymous

      No for any number of reasons, the first of which is that Angie is already a Ted blind (most certainly Fake-a-la Ferocity). Therefore, she can’t be this one.

  • Shamon

    Today’s Solved reminded me of Kate Moss for LaFeelya although I guess most people know she has a child. I was thinking the ‘cat-like’ could be a clue that it was a “C/Katherine” and the ‘slim fingers’ someone who had been rumored to be anorexic, but somehow Kate Moss didn’t immediately come to mind.

  • JJ

    cat-like attraction = Cougartown = Courtney Cox Arquette?

    Harry = Just getting high. He doesn’t care either way, really = David Arquette?

  • Nonnie G

    I’m going to go with “Whatevah” on the guess for couple #1, but say that couple #2 is Kate Moss and Jamie Hince (who are reputedly engaged).

  • Nonnie G

    No wait, they don’t have kids together. Maybe it is Claudia Schiffer!

  • ThatOneGuy

    I’m not sure who this is, but that picture is HILARIOUS!

  • breadandroses

    This guess is way late, but I’m going with sarah jessica parker and matthew broderick as couple number 1. La-Feelya’s gorgeous fingers might be a clue for SJP. She is known for having ugly hands.

  • Anonymous

    What about Seal and Heidi Klum for couple #1?

  • rtsew

    Just to clarify, I saw pictures of Shooter Jennings on the internet, I don’t actually have knowledge to the extent of his personal hairiness below the border.