What This Comic Film Star Should Demand

man eating donut[Village Voice] Which comic film star is known to be narcissistic, insecure, needy, and demanding (though what he really should be demanding is a dietitian and a trainer)?

Paper Girl

woman reading newspaper[Blind Gossip] This actress is known mostly for her work in television. She is pretty, but she is desperate to be thinner. While she already looks slim, she thinks that if she could just drop a few more pounds that she will land the lead role in a series this year. She has a difficult time battling the hunger pangs, so she has resorted to a rather bizarre diet. » Continued

Super Skinny Chomper

woman swallowing pills[The Sunday Mirror] This super-skinny star prefers chomping down on add*ctive painkillers to eating a proper meal.

How Angel Stays Thin

[New York Post] Which angelic-looking show-business star has a secret — but very nasty — c*caine habit that helps her stay thin?

Wild Weight Loss

[New York Post] Which comic star has dropped so much weight that friends are suggesting he’s gone a little too wild with c*caine?

Even Her Ex Is Worried About Her Weight

[National Enquirer] Which former runway model, now a designer and reality star, has dropped so much weight that whispers of an » Continued

Lying About Loss

[Daily Mirror] Sssh! Which star is telling fibs about her weight loss? She has had a load of lipo and body sculpting. And the naughty minx has a  slimming deal in place. Cheeky girl!

Heavy Emotional Turmoil

[National Enquirer] This R&B diva is usually in control, but the 40-something star is going through some heavy emotional turmoil. She’s just learned a weight-loss company is about to drop her as a spokesperson and her family has all but turned their backs on her. Who is she?

Thirty Pounds Of Feelings

[Blind Gossip] This entire celebrity family is totally stressed over the fact that one of the parents is having an affair. You just don’t know it, though, because they all plaster on smiles for the cameras. The littlest one – who still lives at home – is the most stressed of all. To cope, he is eating his feelings. Thirty pounds of feelings in the last year, to be exact (but don’t tell anyone).

Pull My Wiener

[National Enquirer] This weight-challenged star, who’s now on a new health kick, is trying to get the iconic fast-food stand Pink’s Hot Dogs in Hollywood to pull the popular wiener named after her. The new vegan convert is demanding that the stretch dog loaded with mustard, onions, chili and sauerkraut come off the menu!

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