 EOnline – I’m filling you all in on a super scandal over at Marc Cherry’s ABC hit, Desperate Housewives. Now, it’s no secret that those broads get along about as well as Palin and Biden fans do, but something new is making things even worse: Shilah Schtup Me, let’s call her (a virgin to our naughty Blind Vice annals, I must say), has made it quite clear she feels her TV gig is, well, just not A-List enough. Therefore, she’s had certain members of her representation make discreet—or so she thought—inquiries about gradually getting her some primo movie gigs, with the hope of one day being able to ditch the boob-tube stuff altogether. Trouble is, the rest of Shilah’s representatives, not to mention practically every agency in town at this point, found out about it and read SSM the riot act for being such a damn ingrate, as she’s incredibly lucky to have landed the D.H. gig in the first place—as the fool had no career to speak of prior. None. Zilcho. In other words, fierce and scolding word came back: Be happy where you are, ’cause you ain’t no movie star. It Ain’t: Lily Tomlin, Dana Delaney, Andrea Bowen.
 CDAN – Well, well, well. Let the rumors begin anew. This B list film actress with A list name recognition was spotted last night getting her shoulders rubbed and her hand held by this B list television actress from a network drama.
 CDAN – This award winning B list always film actor had been booked to make a paid appearance at a pre-inaugural event. He missed the event. How come? Well turns out that he just couldn’t be bothered to leave his hotel room and his meth. Six months ago this actor never did any drugs and now he spends almost every waking moment doing meth.
 CDAN – This former celebrity girlfriend of an A lister has made it perfectly clear this week that she wants a return to the limelight. How so? Well she has propositioned a number of actors with movies coming out that she will be more than happy to be their girlfriend as long as they take her to any event getting press for their movie.
 Janet Charlton – This actor is the kind of guy that every single woman over thirty wants to meet. He’s tall, dark, and handsome and successful on TV as well as the big screen. He’s carved out a career playing “the boyfriend” to leading ladies. But this down-to-earth guy is freakier than he looks. He never goes out without a jar of mayonnaise in his backpack. He cheats on his famous girlfriend with frisky gals willing to spread the mayo all over his body.
 NYDN – Which aging action star had a leisurely conversation with a young, hunky co-star on set — all while being pleasured by an extra?
 CDAN – Want to know the difference between celebrities? Let’s see how they are treated by the same fashion designer for the same infraction. Both of our actresses in this item have the annoying habit of getting dresses and other items from our designer on loan and never returning it. Even when asked repeatedly by the designer, neither actress ever returns anything loaned out. #1 is a C list actress with A list name recognition and does not have the most stellar reputation. She has been banned from ever receiving anything on loan again from the designer. #2 is a B list film actress who stars in “important” movies but is best known for one huge franchise and is loved by everyone (mostly). She usually borrows more items at a higher value, but because she is nice and friendly to the designer he keeps unbanning her and keeps loaning out items.
 A year ago, this film star looked bloated, wrinkly and just plain old. Although he strikes you as an egomaniac who couldn’t care less what other people think, he was really genuinely hurt by the negative press. So, he has spent the past year or so buffing up his body. However, since he face was still looking old, he finally succumbed to the scalpel. Something called a thread lift to his face, a neck lift, plus some collagen in his laugh lines and just a touch of botox. Result: his body is in top physical shape again, and his face is far and away the most natural plastic work we’ve seen in a while.
 Which actress’ parents nixed her boyfriend because he “wasn’t like them”? The boyfriend is a music maker who has certainly made the rounds through a bunch of actresses. Most surprisingly, though, is the recent discovery that he was dating an actress who is aiming for A list status via films. The actress’ parents completely freaked out when they saw a photo of the couple as her laptop computer’s screensaver, and demanded she break up with him. Although you would know her parents’ names if you heard them – and assume that they would not care about things like income, race, religion, or age – they are actually just a couple of snobs who couldn’t get past the fact that he “wasn’t like them”. bg
 When a film comes out, the stars usually share the promotional duties. In the case of this film, however, Star 1 has been making the rounds of television talk shows and magazine covers, while Star 2 has been conspicuously absent. While Star 2 is claiming that his absence is due to other work obligations, the truth is that the friction between the two was so bad on the set that Star 2 has completely washed his hands of anything to do with the film. Star 1 remains publicly upbeat and supportive of Star 2, but has privately told friends that Star 2 is “the biggest a**hole on the planet,” and that the two will never, ever work together again. bg
 EOnline – [FF, who] has used prescribed synthetic goodies to help her get off a nasty drug habit, is two-timing her man. No, not that hunk she’s got at home stashed in the fully toy-equipped bedroom, but her doctor. Turns out FF knows how to work her fierce femme charm on the good docs. She needed to get off her substantial habit so she could not only save her home life and marriage but make a movie, too. Thought nobody would notice that she went right back to using not that long ago. So gotta get clean again! Yep, she’s back on the synthetic stuff, and not just with one doc but two … docs who don’t know about the other. Jeez already, get help, woman! It isn’t Felicity Hoffman, Kate Boswort, or Ashley Olsen.
 BlindGossip – Which celebrity couple has relinquished control of the family to their offspring? This goes beyond spoiling. They let the child/children make all their own decisions about schools, food, clothing, travel, and activities. Before you know it, the kid/kids will be picking the parents’ films and paying off their credit cards. The parents seem to think that the decision-making will result in more self-assured adult/s. However, right now it’s just the tail wagging the dog. Other family members are concerned that some of these decisions may be endangering the health and safety of all involved.
SOLVED!
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 CDAN – I actually never thought it would happen. Well, actually I thought it would happen, but I thought it would be the husband who would be doing the cheating. Hell, he probably would if he wasn’t so damn scared of his wife. Apparently though his B+ list actress wife with A list name recognition does not have the same fear of her husband. While shooting her new film, our actress has got extremely hot and heavy with one of the producers on the film. The producer is going through a divorce, and now one has to wonder if our actress would be willing to do the same.
 B-list film actor. He has tried his hand at television and was on one hit, but everything else has been pretty much a loser. Well, our actor lives on a street with some people who enjoy having parties at their house. Our actor decided to earn some extra money for himself so about two years ago he started valet parking cars for his neighbors when they have a party. He apparently got a thrill with the looks on the faces of people when they saw who was parking their car. He can’t make it to every party, and so has actually started a company that valets for people having parties. But, whenever he can he still loves doing it.
 MediaTakeout – [Which] comedian’s wife is about to file for divorce? According to our snitches, [she] is very unhappy with how brazen her hubby’s cheating has become. [The] 40-something year old comedian is now bringing his jump off – who is about 20 years old – to his movie premieres. [His] wife has already hired a very prominent divorce lawyer and is set to file any day now. And the dude has no idea what’s about to hit him.
 Im Not Obsessed – Guess which childhood star who is currently pregnant needs to be a bit more careful about what she injests? During a recent premiere, sources claim the actress was “totally high on something” and looked like a “junky”. it gets worse. A reader claims the actress “could hardly keep her eyes open” when greeting the crowd. How very sad indeed!
 CDAN – This aging, but not old, former B list television actress from a very hit television show and sometime film actress from some very forgettable films is someone with B+ name recognition and a career that has had lots of stops and starts. One thing has been holding her back for years. She thought she found a way to solve the problem but it didn’t work. She has always had an alcohol problem but now she has discovered a new best friend called meth. Her habit has got so bad that she cannot always wait for her dealer to come to her. Several times she has had to actually go out in her very conspicuous car and go make buys herself.
 This female best selling author got into some serious debt because she is addicted to gambling. With casinos hounding her for payment, she turned to a “friend” to help her out. The friend gladly paid off the entire debt to the casinos, but in return got our author to sign over any and all future rights from her books. This author has always been reluctant to have her books appear as films because of some bad previous experiences, but now, she really has no choice because she gave up all the rights. I would predict a flood of made for television type fare over the next few years all based on her books. Oh, and she is still gambling. cd
 Downfront2 – This Superstar Singer is on a roll. She has a big movie coming out and a hot new album. Despite her media hoopla, a lot of people are surprised that she did not offer condolences to a former co-star who has suffered a major tragedy.
 CDAN – A lister … behaving himself except in the drinking department until a model walked by. He immediately ran over to the model and began trying to hit on her. Apparently though she didn’t know who he was. When he informed her drunkenly who he was and what he had been in, she said, “I don’t really care. Plus if you need to list your accomplishments to get a date, you really have not accomplished all that much.” It would have been nice if this had been a quiet conversation, but unfortunately for our film actor the entire group surrounding the table all heard it. Nice.
SOLVED!
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