Everybody’s Getting Fired

SOLVED! (partially)

UPDATED!

[BlindGossip] We’re sure that these five women will each offer up a creative excuse for not returning to their respective shows next season. “I’ve decided to devote more time to my family/ my charity work/ my other professional projects/my navel lint collection/ whatever.” But the truth is that they are all getting fired.

Woman 1 is a reality show cast member. She’s getting fired because she’s brunette and nasty and nobody likes her anymore. At least she has her husband’s money to fall back on.

Woman 2 is another reality show cast member. She’s getting fired because she’s brunette and boring and nobody has ever liked her. She’ll be fine, though, because she actually has a job to which she can return.

Woman 3 is a TV personality. She shouldn’t be too shocked, given the demonstrable lack of » Continued

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First The Mother Then The Daughter

[CDAN] This aging, but still good looking permanent B lister who has been nominated or won for almost everything has a real crisis management problem at this point. Shows the world he has a happy marriage. Been married for a very long time, but, despite all his affairs has never thought about leaving his wife. Until now. What makes this all the more bizarre is that » Continued

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Marriage Doesn’t Get In Her Way

[CDAN] This former B list movie actress who is now beyond lucky to have a television show spent much of a recent party hitting on this very good looking B- television actor on a fading network show. Despite the fact he kept telling her he was married, she kept on flirting and hitting on him. She told him it did not bother her that he was married and was how she had landed her most recent television show.

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Charity Begins At Home On TV

[BuzzFoto] This D List star, who was once B list on his TV show was asked to attend an event and give to a local charity that helps impoverished kids. He committed some money just so he wouldn’t look bad, but at the last minute took the money and bought a big screen. He claimed he was sick and bowed out. 602

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Her New Face Isn’t Funny

[BlindGossip] This very talented, multi-award-winning performer has long been the subject of comments about her unconventional looks.  And it’s more than a coincidence that, in most of her films, her leading man must proclaim their admiration of her beauty. She insists on it. And this is a girl who always gets her way. » Continued

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Hip Hop Star Is Older And Scared

[NewYorkPost] Which hip-hop star is spending his time sitting at a corner table at nightclubs to see how the youth are responding to his music because he’s scared he is getting old and out of touch?

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Yellow Soap

[NewYorkPost] Which soap opera star is using growth hormones and other supplements that are turning him a weird shade of yellow?

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Hunky Star Is A Stinky Star

[NewYorkPost] Which hunky A-list superstar is emitting a foul body odor on the set of his latest film? The crew tears up when he walks on set because he showers so infrequently.

SOLVED!

» Continued

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A Night With A Twilight Actress

[CDAN] This Twilight actress has not been getting the kind of dollar offers for roles she likes but has found a new way to make money. It seems that » Continued

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Can’t Get It Up While Juicing Up

[CDAN] This reality star turned celebrity turned lead actor in really bad movies should really stop juicing up. Apparently when he made the moves on his much younger co-star (who is an incredible foreign born actress you have never heard of but has terrible taste in guys) he was unable to go from six to midnight. He blamed being tired, but it is because of the roids. They tried again the next day but still nothing.

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BG12345: Monday

Dear Blinders,

BG12345. Today. Be there.

Love, BG

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Oscar Guy Can’t Stand The Color Of His Costar

[CDAN] What Academy Award winner/nominee actor was asked the other night about a co-star in one of his movies. “I acted with him but I can’t stand being around (the n word).”

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Director Keeps A Checklist

[CDAN] What A list movie director who directs everything from child fare to the extreme keeps a checklist of the number of marriages including his own that he has busted by sleeping with women.

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Comedy Actress Making Everyone Miserable

[CDAN] This B- list comedy actress got her fame from late night television but prefers movies. She also prefers to make everyone around her miserable. Right now she is shooting a movie and makes one demand after another to the point where the crew just wants the movie to be over so they never have to see her again. She is the epitome of someone who thinks way more of herself than anyone does of her.

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He’s Growing His Own

[BuzzFoto] This A list actor,  who has been A list since being a teen heartthrob two decades ago, is rumored to own a special property offshore specifically designed to grow weed. 601

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Lovey Dovey Couple About to Call It Quits

[EOnline] Carol Anne Sausage-Snatcher is having some trouble in paradise.

But at least she’ll have someone to commiserate about her romance troubles with ‘cause, in case you didn’t know, she’s practically besties with Carmelita Salami-Climber. And rightfully so, they’re cut from the same juicy pig, if you catch my drift.

Well, while Carm thinks she’s in BF heaven, Carol is in relationship hell… » Continued

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Hooters Girl Is Hiding A Marriage Secret

[NationalEnquirer] Which reality star vixen – currently flirting her way to a possible win on her show – is hiding a marriage secret? The former Hooters waitress is pretending to be single for a competitive edge so she’s not telling ANYONE that she tied the knot in a hush-hush ceremony right before cameras started rolling!

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Comic Actor Assaults His Costars

[CDAN] This still barely hanging on to A list comic actor who is supposedly a devoted family man has been accused several times recently on his movies for acting inappropriately with female co-stars. They say that in the guise of being funny he will often rub his » Continued

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Oscar Girl Is Footing The Bills For Her Ex

[NationalEnquirer] Which Oscar-winning star is secretly footing the medical bills for her seriously sick ex-husband? Rumors are swirling that the multitalented entertainer may still have feelings for her ailing ex.

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This Week On Animal Hoarders

[BuzzFoto] This elderly actor who was once A list in his day in film, allegedly loves animals so much he keeps a whole variety of different species in his home. His home is said to smell awful and have evidence of animals everywhere. He even loves his pets so much, it’s said he allows his pet ferret, several dogs, and sometimes even rodents to sleep in his bed at night. 600

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