Singer Forgets When to Start Singing

empty-microphoneVillage Voice – Which belter is such a drinker that she had to be pushed onstage for her entrance at that concert, after which she started singing eight bars early, thereby throwing off the whole number (and, in fact, the whole show)?

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TV Girl Freaks Out If You Stare at Her

people-staringVillage Voice – Which TV starlet has freaked out from her (mid-level) success and doesn’t want people on the street to even look in when she’s doing a photo shoot in an establishment? Wouldn’t she freak out even more if they didn’t look in?

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They Keep His Homosexuality a Secret

books-3Village Voice – Which American author’s birthplace studiously omits his homosexuality from all materials and resents any attempt to get it mentioned?

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Actor Reins in the Swishing in Public

man-swishyVillage Voice – Which married actor is wildly flamboyant among friends and business associates, but when he sits down with an interviewer or goes out in public, he suddenly reins in the swishing and tries to pass for straight? Who’s buying it?

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Seventies Superstar Receives a Mansion Visitor

house-2Village Voice – Which still-closety ’70s superstar gets regular mansion visits from a local gay promoter?

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Actor Rubs Hotel Spa Staff the Wrong Way

massage-1CDAN – Want to make this married former A list television and movie actor stop coming to your hotel? Tell him he is banned from receiving any more » Continued

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Director’s Wife is a Working Beard

woman-beardVillage Voice – Which quirky director who gives the wife a lot of work must be doing so in exchange for some heavy bearding? (He’s rumored to be one of them there closet cases.)

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Lead Actress Almost in Tears on Red Carpet

woman-black-eyeCDAN – This C list almost exclusively movie actress who has been in some important movies thought she had found true love. It sounds like true terror. In what should be her coming out party for her first real big lead role, she instead has to deal with her new B list writer/director boyfriend who loves nothing more than hitting her. Very careful not to leave a mark on her face, she nevertheless was almost in tears on the red carpet from the pain he inflicted on her the night before her big premiere this week. Despite this, she still held his hand as they walked the red carpet. Sick I know.

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He Expects World to Revolve Around His Golf Game

golf1CDAN – This former A list movie actor and now pretend singer and movie actor was playing at a recent golf tournament. Along the side of the fairways were multi-million dollar homes. In the driveway of one of these homes was a huge RV painted in a rather garish color. Our actor said the RV distracted him and he refused to play until it was move out of his eyesight.

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Two Singers Who Can’t Actually Sing

singer-microphone1Village Voice – Which once-hot pop star can barely sing a note and needs mucho enhancement in the studio, getting help from a songwriter who’s also vocally stepped in for that working-class rock band?

Similarly, which famous young lady actually does the singing for her more famous sister?

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A Strange New Executive for Escada

escadaStyleList – Which unhinged, avant-garde downtown NYC designer is rumored to be in the running for a top job at Escada? Talk about non-traditional casting.

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Two Actress Plus One Actor Plus Jack Daniels

jack-danielsEOnline – Finally! Somebody’s actually having some heterosexual sex in Hollywood — love it! But it was some messy nooky, I’ll tell ya that much: » Continued

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The TV Actress and The Gawky Guy

gawkyNY Daily News – Which newly attached TV actress got it on with a gawky star from the same network?

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Boyfriend Threw a Wobbly in Cannes

man-angryDaily Mirror – Which famous boyfriend threw a wobbly when he dropped his coke down the loo in Cannes? He was overheard snivelling in the cubicle…

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Supermodel Will Fire You for Having Sex

condo-2StyleList – Which super-famous European supermodel fired her NYC apartment-sitter when she came home after an international job and found a condom at the foot of her bed?

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Basketball Player Gave Cheerleader a Gift

cheerleader-2SOLVED!

BuzzFoto – This married NBA Basketball player from the East Coast is notoriously known for hitting on cheerleaders and asking for their phone numbers. Normally, the girls laugh it off, but recently one took him up on his offer and they hooked up. She is now going to the clinic to get shots for the STD he gave her.

Not Dennis Rodman. » Continued

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Star Used the Restaurant Bathroom Every Five Minutes

bathroom-stallVillage Voice – Which supposedly cleaned-up star was spotted at a hot West Village restaurant, going to the bathroom about every five minutes to take care of business? Anyone buying the weak bladder excuse?

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Gwyneth is Sad When She Can’t Control You

gwyneth-paltrow-2Sydney Morning Herald – “When I was much younger I was involved with somebody where they weren’t married but were into drugs and alcohol … I was obsessed with why this person wasn’t showing up.

I was raised by people … who made me feel really good about myself. I still got caught up in this thing of, What’s wrong with me? Why isn’t this turning out the way I want?”

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Model Dumped Before She Jumps the Couch

tom-cruise-couchNY Daily News – Which top model was dismissed from her agency – all because she became a Scientologist?

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How to Upset the Outcome of a Reality Show

pianoBlindGossip – Which reality show outcome may be pinned on the actions of someone completely unaffiliated with the contest? The producers were well aware of the controversy generated by  a certain self-anointed celebrity on another recent reality-type contest. They were concerned that if the same celebrity got too vocal about one of their finalists, it might actually result in a public backlash against their favorite. The producers even spent a few minutes of a meeting discussing strategies as to how to incentivize the celebrity to keep quiet in the final weeks of the contest. They eventually decided that they were better off not adding any more fuel to the egoist’s fire.

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