Ethnic Babies and Tennis Balls

tennis balls[Blind Gossip] These two stories come from CNBC. A Personal Assistant was asked to perform some very interesting personal tasks for his boss, a famous Hollywood Director.

Leon Renyop, an assistant to a film and TV director, recalls being saddled with finding an ethnic baby to be photographed for a greeting card of questionable taste.

He couldn’t very well tell the infant casting agencies that the baby was needed for a goof, so he fabricated the alter ego “Geoffrey Bozenkampf” complete with accent and Gmail account, and, acting as Geoffrey, he claimed he needed the baby’s image to use in a short film.

Then, because his director boss is “obnoxiously frugal,” Leon had to find a way to print up 150 of these holiday cards for about $80 (Kinko’s quoted about $250 for the job). “Find a way, there’s gotta be a way,” came the director’s typical refusal to take no for an answer. Leon faked a fall and injury at Kinko’s for an instant 60% discount, and in this case, for the win.

Another time, the director called Leon around 9:30 on a Saturday, requiring 200 tennis balls before noon, so he could teach his girlfriend tennis—and he needed to get the balls for a cost of about $10. “There’s gotta be a way.”

Leon ran around town, finding those ways, not all of them necessarily legal.

“I hopped the fence at a country club with a basket I picked up at the grocery store and picked up like 30 orphan balls, I got chased by the tennis coach. Then I called a buddy who was a member at a country club, who knew a crooked groundskeeper, who sells balls he steals from the country club. I drove like 30 minutes and did this sketchy tennis ball transaction in his alley like I was buying a pound of cocaine and I had to haggle him down.” It took until about 12:15, but Leon once again made it happen.


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36 comments to Ethnic Babies and Tennis Balls

  • guessingbg

    What the heck?! This sounds like a weird comedy plot?

  • Runningdude1

    Well – the real name of the assistant is Noel Poyner…

    he was an assistant to the director in Something Borrowed – directed by Luke Greenfield

    But he also worked with Ethan Coen and Paul Thomas Anderson…so I would say one of them

  • mugofmead111

    I have no guesses for the director, but I hope he gets outed.

    I wonder whether the infant casting agencies will feel as dumb as KTVU who had erroneously named Asiana pilots when they find out they’ve been had by “Geoffrey Bozenkampf”.

  • MSQueen

    Director: Luke Greenfield from Something Borrowed

  • kerriedub

    Noel Davis Poyner

  • Kerzep

    What disgusts me about this is that the Personal Assistant did it! How much abuse do people put up with just to be in the same space as a “Director”?

    Yuk. Grow a spine!

    • PiscesTwice

      I agree. Not only did the director ask it, but the assistance did it! So- I am really judging this personal assistant. Like what kind of person are you to do it and go out of your way to do it, and find the most asinine ways to accomplish these ridiculous requests?! Lying about a falling injury? Actually exploiting this ethnic child? Putting your livelihood and morals on the line by stealing? It’s just crazy. I wonder if the Director did it just to see if the guy would do it and at what costs.

      • PandoraWolf

        I agree. We might think this is horrific, but until people wanting to get in the business decide there IS a limit to what they will do, this will continue. Just like the casting couch, I guess. If it’s “just something that’s done” and no one bats an eye, nothing will change.

    • la.dolce.vita

      I agree too. I would more likely pay the extra cost out of my own pocket then have to resort to doing any of these ridiculous schemes. Then after seeing how it was not worth it, I’d promptly quit. Directors and other people of Hollywood seriously need to get a reality check.

  • KWDragon

    Unreal! I’ll go with Michael Bay, as he seems this sleazy.

  • mizzavrid

    Betcha James Cameron. What a dick.

  • annasophie

    i don’t care who the director is. the assistant is stupid for doing any of that crap. find a new job.

  • JenLTX

    Leon Renyop is listed on IMDb as having been Luke Greenfield’s assistant on “Something Borrowed.”

  • shelaur22

    Is Leon Renyop an alias? I am laughing so hard at this person getting chased by a tennis coach.

  • menagerie

    Luke Greenfield

  • KlatschHund

    Paul Thomas Anderson? one of the Coens (Joel or Ethan)?

  • Pretty Kitty

    Leon Reynop = Noel Poyner

    Director…Luke Greenfield?

  • sriram201

    Leon Renyop is obviously Noel Poyner spelt backwards. None of the movies where he’s listed as a production asst. have famous directors. He did work with paul thomas anderson on there will be blood though

  • pattycakes

    Quentin Tarantino

  • DivaKarma

    I WISH I knew who this was. Feel sorry for the guy, hope he was paid well.

  • serasera

    Sounds like the director was penny wise and pound foolish. He had his assistant waste more money running around and scamming, than if he had paid up front.

  • Aiko

    I honestly don’t know who the director is.

    As for the Personal Assistant, he only did those tasks because it is expected of him & he wants to keep his job. Liking what he had to do is another story.

  • slantrhyme

    I’m going to go with Paul Thomas Anderson.

    I want to know more about that “ethnic baby.”

  • LeahLynn28

    What the hell?Weird stories…now i want to know who he is.

  • FreddyCellophane

    Director: Kevin “Clerks 3-D” Smith

  • katt388

    Tim Burton. He is certainly strange enough

  • luvprue1

    I would have quit. If the director is that cheap that he not willing to part with a little more than $10 for 200 Tennis Ball, then you know he is not paying his assistant a lot of money, plus I doubt he get any perks. So yeah, I would have quit.