The Seven Celebrity Dwarfs – Part 3

seven dwarfs[Blind Gossip] There was an awards show last week, and most of the Seven Celebrity Dwarfs were there.

Before the show, everyone was saying hello to each other… and that’s where the trouble started.

Most of it was caused by Lucky’s current girlfriend, a drug-addicted nobody from another country who we’ll call Junkie. Junkie is only dating Lucky because she wants to be famous. She is too old for Lucky and a bad influence on him.

Junkie was looking to score celebrity friends for herself… and a celebrity boyfriend for her sister, who we’ll call Horrie. Junkie proceeded to launch herself at celebrity after celebrity in her quest.

Junkie first spied Chappy – a cute, British boy bander with a thick head of hair – and begged Lucky for an introduction. Lucky and Chappy are friends, and Chappy came over to give him a bro hug.

Then Junkie practically threw herself at Chappy! She hugged him and repeatedly tried to kiss him. She draped herself over him and told him that ever since he had dumped Clingy, that she wanted to fix him up with her sister.

Chappy was terribly uncomfortable during this entire exchange and tried to pull himself away. He doesn’t like talking about his relationship with Clingy, and he really didn’t want this strange girl kissing and hanging on him! He practically had to pry her arms from around his neck, and nearly tripped running away from her.

Junkie then tried to ingratiate herself with Twerky. She pretended that they were old friends and tried hanging all over her. Twerky was more skillful than Chappy about running away from Junkie, complaining to one of the other Dwarfs, “Who is that girl with Lucky? Who the fuck does she think she is? Why is she getting all grabby with me?”

Then it was time for everyone to be seated.

Poppy and Flexy (who are just friends) performed at the show, and they were seated in one of the front rows. Sassy was next to them. Lucky and Junkie sat in the row directly behind them.

It was a really awkward seating arrangement, because everyone had dated everyone. Lucky used to date Poppy and was now dating Junkie. Flexy used to date Sassy, who was best friends with Clingy (who had dated Lucky). Like we said… awkward. But all the Dwarfs have been performers for many years, and they all know the drill. Smile, be cordial, be professional.

Junkie didn’t get the memo. She didn’t care who had dated who. She just wanted to ingratiate herself with as many celebrities as possible. Junkie totally sucked up to Poppy and Sassy during the event, cooing over them and telling them how talented and pretty they were and how she hoped that they would become the best of friends. Junkie seemed to have this idea in her head that the two brothers and all their ex-girlfriends and her should be a group.

Oh, and that they should invite Clingy along, too! “We should really ask Clingy to hang out with us, too. After all, everybody knows that Clingy lost her virginity to Lucky, so we all really ought to be friends!”

Jaws dropped.


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