Creepy Canadian Come On

canada faceBG Note: This is a looong story published on XO Jane by a writer who had a bad date with a guy she describes as a “C-list Canadian celebrity”.

[XO Jane] I met a man I’ll call Keith at an outdoor concert in Toronto last year. I was sitting with a group of people, Jake Gyllenhaal among them (sorry for the name drop, but he factors into the story later), and Keith walked up to introduce himself to us.

I knew of Keith because he has a successful radio show in Canada. A lot of Canadians love him for his views, interviews, and radio voice.

As Keith schmoozed with the people around me, I enjoyed the concert and also tried to make Jake fall for me using telepathic love vibes. Just kidding. There were no love vibes, and the only feeling Jake had was annoyance after Keith arrived. He kept trying to talk to Jake, who wasn’t feeling his “I really want to get you on my show and maybe into your pants” vibe, so Keith soon turned his attention to me.

“Sorry, how do you pronounce your name again?” he said.

“Um, Carla,” I replied.

“Oh, I thought it was more complicated, like Carafalooota,” he said. I laughed.

A few minutes later, the concert was over, and my party and I left.

The next day, I sent Keith a public Twitter message saying it was nice to meet him. It was. I, like many Canadians, was a fan of his show.

Actually, truth be told, I’ve never listened to his show, but still, I appreciated him as a talented radio personality.

Keith wrote me a private message soon after saying he read some of my work online and really liked my writing. He also asked me if I’d like to join him to see Metric play the next night at the Opera House.

I’d always wanted to see Metric live, and I thought I might be able to make Keith my best gay friend in Toronto. I was still a newbie and needed friends. I also figured that the friendship might lead to exciting Toronto career opportunities down the line. He did say he liked my writing.

The next night, I met him at a wine bar for a quick drink before the show. When I walked in, I was greeted by both the overwhelming stench of his cologne and the sinking feeling that Keith was not, as I had assumed, gay. This wasn’t a friend date; it was a date, date –- at least to him.

He looked at me the way a creepy older man looks at a young, silly girl he’s going to buy a drink he’s planning to slip a roofie into. I didn’t know what to do. He was 15 years older than me, but what’s more, I found him totally unattractive and didn’t want to be on a date with him.

But I couldn’t just leave.

“So, you’re friends with Jake Gyllenhaal?” he asked.

“No. I met him yesterday and we talked about baseball for five minutes,” I said.

“Oh. He seems like a jerk, eh?” he said.

“I thought he was nice,” I said.

Nervous and trying to avoid eye contact with him, I proceeded to talk about nothing in particular for the next 20 minutes with such speed, he might have thought I had just done an eight ball in the bathroom.

He checked his phone approximately 35 times and mentioned the memoir he was writing about 10 times. Apparently, he was in a band when he was younger, or something. I wasn’t really paying attention.

Before my drink was finished, Keith rushed me out of the bar to get to the concert down the street.

In front of the small venue, he introduced me to a bunch of people he thought I would know.

“You’re meeting the who’s who of Canadian indie rock!” he whispered into my ear enthusiastically. I had no idea who they were, but most of them had cool beards. The way he introduced me, however, was disconcerting. I was being “presented,” in the same way Tom Cruise used to present Katie Holmes on red carpets. I did not like it.

I wanted to let him know I wasn’t into him, but he seemed like a harmless dork, and I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his bearded friends.

As I talked to one of them, I’d look up every now and then to catch a glimpse of Keith staring at me intently with a strange smile on his face. He was giving me the heebie jeebies and, again, I wanted to leave.

But Metric. It’ll be fine once we’re inside, I thought, we’re just watching a concert.

There was no assigned seating, and we were standing on the balcony. As soon as the lights went down, and the first notes started playing, I felt a sweaty hand travel across the back of my dress and grab my ass.

That hand was Keith’s.

Shocked, I looked up at him like “WHAT?!” He looked back at me with sex eyes and smiled. Disgusted, I asked him to stop, and stepped away from him and his hand.

This is Metric playing the Opera House. Emily Haines, can you hear my heart beating like a hammer? HELP ME!

I figured he’d get the point since I moved, but instead, he followed me. I watched the concert intently, but he soon grabbed my hand to hold it.

His friends were right behind us, and they all smiled when I looked back. Despite my extreme discomfort, I felt I couldn’t tell Keith off, so I discreetly pulled my hand away, crossed my arms over my stomach and stared straight ahead.

When he started rubbing my back, I again told him to stop, and when he put his hand over my shoulders, I said I was hot and lifted it off.

“Oh yeah, you’re hot,” he replied.

Dying inside, I felt sad that not only had I lost interest in watching Metric, but they were also starting to sound like tainted torture music.

I was planning my exit strategy when Keith grabbed the strap my large purse and took it off my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Shhh,” he replied, placing my purse on the ground and slipping his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

“What the fuck?!” I said. “You don’t put a woman’s purse on the dirty ground.” Apparently, I have more respect for a leather purse from my mom than for my own body. Not really — but this was my breaking point.

“But it’s in the way,” he said. He seemed intrigued, and challenged, by my passionate reaction.

“I’ll be back.” I couldn’t take it anymore. Keith had gone from harmless dork to repulsive sexual predator.

I ran down the stairs and called my sister from the bathroom. “What do I do?” I was concerned that he would somehow ruin my fledgling career in Canadian media forever if I bailed on him, as stupid as that sounds.

“Get outta there,” my sister said. I wanted to. Desperately. Running down the stairs had given me a taste of the freedom that could so easily be mine if I just ran outside and never looked back. But I didn’t want to be rude, and I thought it best to leave on good terms.

(This is the part where I really want to go back in time and shake myself.)

I did what any good, failed Catholic girl plagued by a crippling sense of guilt would do: I lied.

“I have to go, I have a terrible headache — a migraine. I also have to work very early. Sorry,” I said, looking towards the EXIT sign with a renewed hopefulness that I hadn’t felt in hours.

“Oh no. I’ll drive you,” he said.

“NO! I mean, no. I don’t want to ruin the show for you. I’ll get a cab.”

“I can’t let you take a cab if you have a migraine,” he said, leading me down the stairs with a “concerned” creepy hand on the small of my back.

I insisted on taking a cab until I realized that he was walking me to his car, which was right outside.

All but defeated, I got into his car, pissed off that I was doing so, and stared out the window listlessly.

Even though I had a terrible fake migraine, he insisted on talking to me.

“Do you recognize the colors of my car?” he said.

“They are black and red. Like Spider-Man?” I said.

“Ha! No. That’s silly. They’re the colors of my show,” he laughed.

“But your show is on the radio, and I don’t listen to it,” I confessed. I was DONE.

“Did I tell you I’m writing a book?” he asked.

“Multiple times,” I said. “You can stop here.”

We were a block from my apartment and there was no way he was going to know my address.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“No, you won’t,” I said. “Thank you for the concert and the ride. Have a good night.”

He leaned in and I avoided his lips by giving him a half-hearted hug, but he still managed to peck the side of my pursed mouth as I was turning to get out of the car. I urgently yanked on the door handle until the door sprang open, and scurried out.

Once I reached my front door, I started crying in shame. A thick layer of self-loathing had settled over my once-optimistic heart. Why had I handled the night that way? Why didn’t I tell him he was acting like as asshole and I only agreed to meet him because I, like the rest of Canada, thought he was gay? Why am I so passive in awkward situations? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

I had a hot shower to remove his gross cologne stench, which had stuck to me like an airborne virus.

The next morning, I awoke to a text from him.

“If you’re late for work, blame it on me ;)”

I didn’t reply to Keith’s text, thinking that he would take the hint; but based on past experience I should have known Keith does not a hint take.

As his messages became more and more pathetic, (e.g., “Did we break up already?”), I eventually confessed the truth and told him that I was sorry but I thought it was a friend date, not a real date, and I wasn’t interested.

To this, he replied: “Eeep! Totes diff. vibe from yest.” (He actually texted those words. Like that. To a girl he was interested in.)

Over the next two weeks, his texts begged me to give him another chance. He even went so far as to promise that he looks better with TV makeup on, like that would make a difference.

I felt sorry for him. Clearly being a C-list Canadian celebrity hadn’t afforded him any “game.”

He finally stopped texting, but every time his name came up in conversation, or I saw his face in an ad, I cringed.

In talking to my friends Crystal and Melissa, I found out that Keith has tried his same creepy-ass moves out on many other girls. He once lured a friend of theirs into a hotel room to “watch a movie,” and tried to sleep with her once she sat on the bed. She, too, had thought him harmless and gay beforehand.

This is me now. Hardened. Suspicious. More Lucille 1 than Lucille 2. I’ll stop making Arrested Development references now.

Two months later, I was walking down the street and passed a man who was wearing an offensive amount of Keith’s pungent cologne. Overcome by scent-memory nausea, I vomited into a nearby trashcan. A concerned older lady came up to me. “Are you pregnant, dear?” she asked.

“Only with disgust, thank God,” I said, smiling. She smiled back, perplexed.

And that was how I expelled the gross feelings left over from the worst “date” I’ve ever gone on.

Keith:

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120 comments to Creepy Canadian Come On

  • audreyyy

    i have no idea who this is (im american) but i feel so bad for this girl, this kind of behavior is disgusting and i hope “keith” loses his job

    • memary

      What? Why?
      Because he asked a girl out after she publicly tweeted him, she accepted, and then he had the gall to put his hand on her back and drive her home when she claimed illness?
      I think “Carla” sounds like a bitch, and I’m also american.

      • KatarinaJ

        How is she bitch when she so clearly backed away from physical exchange and he just chose to ignore it by getting gropey? Your response is so hostile. Several times she even notes she was just trying to be civil or cordial. I have had a guy or two who ‘refuses to take a hint’ slash SMACK OVER THE HEAD with a ‘not interested’ and they are disgusting. They use intimedation tactics so ‘wear you down’ – and in her story she even cites several instances she heard of where he was notorious for this. THIS is the clincher for me, not her accepting a date.

      • memary

        I don’t think I’m being hostile, she said in her story:
        1) I felt I couldn’t tell Keith off
        2) I discreetly pulled my hand away
        3) I lied
        4) I didn’t want to be rude
        5)Keith does not a hint take
        6) Why had I handled the night that way?
        Then she claims to have physically vomited months later from the “ordeal”. It’s not his job to take a hint, he thought he was on a date and touched her back and drove her home when, again, she lied.
        I stand by my assessment.

      • TracieKnits

        Refusing advances does not make one a bitch.

        Refusing to take “stop” at face value does, however, make one a sexual predator.

      • karensue32

        It was more than just his putting his hand on her back. She thought he was gay, which apparently others did too, when she accepted the invitation. She made it clear she didn’t want him touching her and he did not respect that. Could she have been more aggressive in letting him know she wasn’t interested? Yes, but she was trying to be cordial and not embarrass him. This guy has the signs of a someone who can’t take no for an answer and thinks he is going to build a “relationship” by trying to bed someone on the first date. Keith is definitely a douchebag.

  • CanaryCry

    I’ll guess Narduwar, but I could be wrong.

  • YoGo8c

    “harmless and gay”.

    How dare she describe Jake as ‘harmless’!!! ;)

    Joking aside, I was waiting for Jake to ride in and rescue her with his giant beard (apparently the beard was double-booked that night so…). The only other thing I got is that I liked the ref to Tom Cruise and ‘bearded friends’ in proximity. Heh.

  • fozzie

    Maybe its Jian Ghomeshi?
    He used to be in a band called Moxy Früvous
    He is 46 but not bad looking at all

  • wfreshie

    wow, that is some story, but I don’t have a guess yet

  • Brittttt

    George Stroumboulopoulos? I never thought he was gay.

  • Krisssssy

    This has to be Jian!

  • didigossip

    Jian Ghomeshi

  • QubbuQ

    That would be Jian Ghomeshi of the CBC!

    He used to be in a folk-rock group in the 90′s called Moxy Früvous. He has a very used-car-salesman sort of persona. Very slick and seems quite gay. His show set is black and red. He video tapes his radio shows and they air on YouTube. You can see on his Wikipedia page a photo of him on set. He is actually reasonably attractive in a cute kind of way in photos I’ve seen of in. No idea in person though. I’ve listened to some of his interviews and he’s very intense and slick and prone to effusive flattering his guests… except Billy Bob Thornton.

    Wiki says: “Now based in Toronto, he is the host of the national daily cultural affairs talk program, Q, on CBC Radio One and CBC TV. The show, which he co-created in 2007, now has the largest audience of any cultural affairs program in Canada and has gained the all-time highest audience share for a CBC program in its morning time slot.”

    His web site address is listed in his Wikipedia profile.

    • QubbuQ

      That said, Carla sounds like a real ‘winner’. Admittedly going to dinner with him just to use him. She thought he was nice until she realized he was interested in her. Her inability to tell him what she really felt or project with any clarity so he could read her messages appropriately are on her.

      It just sounds like a regular old bad date to me and the fact that he is a famous radio personality is the reason why she’s sharing the story, to make herself more interesting. Carla hasn’t been successful in getting ahead in the entertainment world so now what, she turns on the people she’s met and tells stories to make herself more interesting. meh. That’s usually the last hurrah before heading out the door permanently for anyone in any industry. Burning bridges is never smart.

      He didn’t hurt her. He didn’t roofie her. That’s her imagination and creative story telling. She didn’t project boundaries in a clear way at all. She even states that herself. So what else did she expect? What was the point in telling the story about the bad date? Just to make him look skeevy?

      I don’t enjoy his radio personality or presentation style at all, but really he doesn’t sound any different than a lot of men.

      • Molls

        I agree. She was too wishy washy with him. If she didn’t want to be with him, she should have MADE IT CLEAR TO HIM, ended the evening and gone home. All the time I was reading that story, I just wanted to shake some sense into her.

      • ValleyOfTheGalls

        I totally agree. Who hasn’t been on a first date with a guy like that? He touched her back, it was too soon. He drove her home. He texted her. It’s not his fault he isn’t gay. SHE TRIED TO USE HIM!
        The whole boring story goes nowhere and seems like an excuse to drop Gyllenhaal’s name.

      • Heilige Bimbam

        Thought it strange she left to phone her sister to ask what to do. She could have left then, but she says she did not want to be rude. I do not find Keith strange at all, but I find the girl very strange, especially her attempt to make a harmless story sound worse than it really was. If anyone comes out as pathetic, it was she, sorry.

      • KWDragon

        You make it sound like the guy was harmless. He was not. He was pulling one of the oldest powerplays in the book. Older, connected man puts moves on younger, up-and-coming woman and expects play in return for access. No. I’m not having it.

        Women are conditioned to be inoffensive to men as often as possible, to not “hurt their feelings” lest they be considered mean-spirited and rude. It’s easy for a man (or even another woman) to say, “She should have been more forceful,” but until you are in that position, it is impossible to say how *you* would react.

        I think she did the best she could and neither you nor she should be beating her up for her choices in the heat of the moment.

      • guesselman

        YES YES she didn’t outright state that she didn’t want the date to be romantic, but she made it very clear that she didn’t want to be touched. We avoid confrontation and that is the curse of being Canadian, because we assume that everyone understands high context and can read subtle reactions. A sexual predator will obviously use the lack of confrontation to claim that there were no clear indications; Canadians need to learn to firmly say ‘NO I’m not interested’ and ‘I am not enjoying the evening so I’m headed home in a cab’ without feeling guilty.

        But QubbuQ I hope for you that you’re not serious about this being a typical, bad date. It’s unacceptable for someone to put a stranger in the awkward position in front of a group of friends, and with the bullshit promises of advancing their career. This was intentional!!! We have to hold predators accountable for their behavior.

      • LooLoo

        I’m glad someone said it. She sounds like a real b****. She was on a date and he wanted some harmless touching. He didn’t grab a b**b or anything, he touched her neck and her dress. He’s hardly a sexual predator. A predator would have attacked her. This guy was pretty far from that. This girl thought she would use him for whatever she thought she could get and was offended when a guy who she didn’t think was attractive wanted to have a normal date with hand holding. She sounds like a nightmare. Of course he checked his phone over and over. She admitted that she talked about herself for 20 minutes straight and didn’t listen when he tried to tell her a few very basic things about his life. It’s sad that he still wanted to go out with her. I hope he finds a decent girl who won’t treat him like that.

      • raslebol

        totally agree:it’s just a bad date and she wanted to use him when she tought he was gay(?!)

      • QubbuQ

        guesselman- I do think it sounds typical as in like an awful lot of bad dates I’ve heard of from friends and have experienced myself. That does not in any way mean I think it’s acceptable or to be encouraged, if it’s intentional. ;-) Two different thoughts. It just happens a lot. blech.
        It’s entirely possible he really is totally clueless about reading people and thought he had game. Had she been attracted to him, what he did would have come across differently. If she was that clueless about reading his intentions, perhaps she misread other things in the evening too. When one is not attracted to someone and is trying to navigate that, everything becomes magnified. Every pet peeve is noticed and some that wouldn’t bother you with another, do bother you with them. Not saying he isn’t a creeper, I don’t know the guy and can’t say. But I did read Her words, and it’s her wild story that we are basing our judgements on. She doesn’t come across well to me.
        Also we don’t know that he made any promises whatsoever of advancing her career. She just said She thought it would help.

      • Booboo1068

        I agree with @KWdragon and @guesselman. Admittedly every story has two sides and we’re only getting one by hear say not directly or bring there in person to observe for ourselves what went down. HOWEVER, If she was much younger and he was pulling a power play its a comment on his character and willingness to abuse his position with those who are yes ambitious but also naive and a bit intimidated. It’s also not fair to predict how we’d react given the EXACT same circumstances. To just call her a victim though is demeaning to HER. Im sure she’s a smart girl with good instincts that happened to make a mistake in judgement. She learned a lesson and hopefully will see the power in owning HER part in what happened and moving forward a bit wiser.

      • Red Velvet

        When men do it, it’s called “networking” and is a socially approved business move. When women do it, it apparently suddenly becomes “using.”

    • tonysgirl69

      I’m with Red Velvet. It’s always a double standard. She would not play so now she’s a b* and a power hungry woman. He is old enough to know the signs of a woman who is or is not interested in him. Him being the older one by at least 15 years is a sign that he knows what he was doing was a little aggressive but his hope to get laid be a much younger lady got the best of him. Most young women go thru this and know next time how to handle themselves in the future it this should ever arise again. I’m not mad at what he did but let’s be honest here. If she had gave it up then she would be called a whore. But she didn’t and now she’s a b*. Um.

  • showtimeEI6

    Keith: Jian Ghomeshi

    According to wikipedia: “Jian Ghomeshi (ZHEE-on go-MESH-ee), born June 9, 1967, is a Canadian broadcaster, writer, musician and producer of Iranian descent. He was born in London, UK and raised in Thornhill, Ontario.[1] Now based in Toronto, he is the host of the national daily cultural affairs talk program, Q, on CBC Radio One and CBC TV. The show, which he co-created in 2007, now has the largest audience of any cultural affairs program in Canada and has gained the all-time highest audience share for a CBC program in its morning time slot.[2] Q now airs on over 150 stations in the USA including WBEZ in Chicago WNYC in New York WUFT in Florida and WDET in Detroit.”

    Ghomeshi wrote memoir titled “1982″ about a formative year in his life (see link http://thechronicleherald.ca/books/138797-radio-host-jian-ghomeshi-gets-personal-in-new-memoir)

  • travoltasbeard

    OMG! He like, totally tried this move on other girls! Ewwww…like creepy old guy! LOL!!!

    Ace, this is some of the funniest fan fiction I have ever read from this girls letter to her friends right before prom! I mean Jake G!

    Like, like totally cool. But the poor Canadian radio host was like, totally not cool. He was like over 30 and all grey and using a walker! LOL!!!

    This “star-effer” just like, totally made my day! OMG! LOL!

  • boyjack4

    Joan Ghomeshi? Written a book, red background on his shows? Bearded

  • Mtlmeee

    I’m Canadian and my educated guess would be..Jian Ghomeshi

  • tagepo

    george strombopolous lol I think that’s how you spell his name and it’s all I can come up with as a guess

  • huhwhoami

    wow this is so blatant can this be legal

  • I Am PunkA

    That funny thing about this is that the girl in this tries to paint herself as some helpless victim, but she was trying to use the guy, then it backfired on her, and she got all surprised by it and tried to make herself look smart and the guy creepy. No offense, but she is the one reached out first, he then responded, so why wouldn’t he think she was interested? Her calling him gay was a cover to make herself look like less of an idiot. BEcause she was an idiot.

    Keith: Scott Fox

  • deepcreek

    Jian, obviously.

  • ktktkt

    Wow, melodramatic much? The way this person was writing I was afraid she was going to be raped in the end. Oh no, he texted her too many times and presumed she was into him, just like every other guy on the planet.

  • ekie66

    Jian Ghomeshi. Just released his memoir of sorts and was in Moxy Fruvous. Love him on Q, though.

  • Elliegurl

    No idea who “Keith” is, but that was a great/horrible date story.

  • Very Unseemly

    Jian Ghomeshi -
    Band – Moxy Früvous

  • gotu

    Don’t know–but the writer makes the mistaken assumption Keith is gay, doesn’t like his cologne, and is upset when he hits on her (admittedly, he should have desisted when she turned him down). He gives her a ride home when she says she’s sick. I guess he’s no Jake Gyllenhaal, but does that make him the worst date and creepy? And she doesn’t like his cologne a lot.

    • gotu

      I’m not sure this is even fair to be a BI. And, to be completely snarky, Carla should probably spend more time honing her writing skills rather than trying use people to make connections if she wants to be a professional writer.

  • dexterfan

    Yay! A Canadian blind. Thanks BG! This HAS to be Jian Ghomeshi, formerly of the band Moxy Fruvous. He has a radio show…the background colours are red and white and his memoir was released last year.

  • jessieduck1980

    Jian Ghomeshi?

  • ivyleaguer

    I have worked with him and partied with him and still think he ‘sgay or in denial. great hair though

  • ivyleaguer

    Jian Ghomeshi ^^^ not sure what happened to the name before the rest of my sentence. Sorry Ace. my bad.

  • Cichla

    I can only assume that Keith is George Stroumboulopoulos. But if it is him, and this woman is 25 (Stroumboulopoulos is 40 – 15 that is mentioned = 25)she sounds rather brainless, immature and moronic.

  • AuntieMame

    Jian, obv. Could’ve been summed up as: Jian acted douchey, I put up with it for a free concert and then I felt bad. C’est un tragedie!

  • CheshireKitty

    At first I thought this might be John Derringer from Q107, who certainly has a black and red logo and seems squeezy and is a bit older, BUT he’s too much older for someone with a fledgling career I think and there’s no known band to speak of. But it has to be someone from Toronto, I believe, given the mention of Metric at Opera House.

    Sadly, I think this is Jian Ghomeshi. Jian was in the band Moxy Fruvous, published a memoir Fall 2012 (the Metric Opera House show was in the Spring of 2012), has black and red in the logo for his show for CBC radio, is well respected for his interviews, and I could see why someone might take him as gay. He was born in the early 70′s I believe, making him early 40′s to a fledgling mid-twenties journalist.

  • GillieB

    Ewwwwww Jian Ghomeshi. He went to York U when I was there and gave off the creepy vibe.

  • Andreinac13

    After a doing research on google I came up with the name:

    Keith Jian Ghomeshi.

    That guy sounds creepy!

  • boobytrap

    can’t be anyone else but jian ghomeshi. total creepster.

  • realmccoy18

    Jian Ghomeshi

  • azzizz

    Jian Ghomeshi, he hosts Q on cbc.
    The colors for his show appear to be black and red, he wrote a memoir that was published in 2012, he interviewed Metric on Q in 2012, and there seems to be a lot of controversy about whether he is gay or not.

    First time posting! :)

    • azzizz

      Parts of this story seem unfair. The writer seems unreasonably pissed from the moment she realizes that Keith thinks that this is a date. Just because she assumed that Keith was gay doesn’t mean that he knew she was operating on that assumption. Further, she sought him out after she met him and makes it clear that part of her motivation in doing so was to advance her own career. That’s not necessarily bad, just like it’s not necessarily bad that he assumed that she was interested in him romantically when she contacted him and agreed to go out with him. That being said, once she made it clear that she didn’t want to be touched and wanted to leave, he should have left her alone.

      • La Llorona

        Mhmm….yeah, but still. If she said no, and he couldn’t respect that, he sounds like he has major boundary issues.

        With that said, I don’t like this article.

  • jones

    George Stroumboulopolous

  • huhwhoami

    welll, hello there

  • ManhattanMeme

    Jian Ghomeshi!

  • Just Lurking

    Kim Mitchell.

  • noelle84

    George Stroumboulopoulos

  • Vinnie

    No idea on the blind but didn’t she just “out” Jake?!!!

  • maba7x

    No damn idea, but this story was funny as hell! Thanks for the laughs……..

  • GingerNaps

    Awwwww, why are you picking on Jian Ghomeshi? Your article is mean-spirited. He seems much sweeter than you.

  • minorkey

    Keith : Jian Ghomeshi

  • kermit1969

    Ryan Seacrest

  • La Llorona

    Damn, this dude sounds like a rapist.

  • Dak1928

    This is about alleged happenings on alleged date with Jian Ghomeshi, host of Q, CBC Radio’s wildly popular morning interview/music show. To summarize: aspiring journalist, after striking out with movie star, decides to use Canadian celebrity to further her career. It doesn’t go well. Aspiring journalist writes tell-all blog post, accusing celebrity of being a sexual predator. Not sure if the furthering-career thing has worked out, but aspiring journalist should definitely lawyer-up.

  • Dak1928

    Footnote: Americans will be most familiar with Ghomeshi as the interviewer of a petulant and rude Billy Bob Thornton. Whatever happened to Billy Bob, anyway?

  • whambamthanks

    Jian Ghomeshi? Has a regular show on CBC radio, formerly part of Moxy Fruvous, released an autobiography called 1982. (is my Canadian showing?)

  • lmg13

    Jian Ghomeshi! She’s right, assumed he was gay. Who knew he was creepy.

  • BangTidy

    Sounds like Jian Ghomeshi

  • emjaypee

    Oh, god. Is this Jian? I

  • beamer

    This is gross and ewww to the bad moves and too much cologne experience. Strombo (my boyfriend) hasn’t written a book so this has to be Jian. And hey! Ace! thanks for the CanCon! Way to make a CanaGirl come out of lurk mode.

  • Red Velvet

    The writer’s point is that she reacted the ways a lot of women are raised and repeatedly told to act: don’t make waves, don’t be rude, flirt but not too much, let the man do the pursuing, etc. And she found herself in a position where she felt unsafe, threatened, and groped as a result. It was a wake-up call for her, a relatively young woman, about how rape culture works. He’s not a rapist, and this didn’t end in a rape, but she realized for herself, and was shocked and upset by it, what kind of position she had put herself in by behaving in the “appropriate” “feminine” way, what the potential danger was, and how, if anything had happened, she would have been blamed (see the proof in various comments above) and would have felt guilty and second-guessed herself. It’s also her description of how he felt it was perfectly fine to grope her even after she stepped away and removed his hand (AND told him explicitly to stop) and how he never felt even for a moment that he should maybe check in with her regarding consent or her willingness. Her agreement to go see a band they both liked does not constitute “mixed messages.” She’s told that this is a pattern of behavior with him. It’s not that he doesn’t have “game”–it’s that his preferred game is coercion.

    • guesselman

      … but haven’t you heard? science proves that it’s natural because of … um … cavemen… challenge… chasing prey. She should know about primitive male behaviour and take the blame for dangling herself in front of him. Plus she got something out of it and didn’t give him anything in return so SHE’S the opportunist.

    • VelvetBrown

      THIS. I can’t believe women on here are defending this jerks behavior. Sure, she was trying to do a little networking, but that doesn’t mean she should be up for unwanted mauling and molestation. She made it clear the very first time he grabbed her backside that she wasn’t up for that. And since when is it ok to treat a woman like this even if it WAS a first “date date”. After reading some of the comments here, it’s clear we women still have a looooong way to go….

      • LooLoo

        Women definitely have a long way to go if they think that attempted hand-holding is the same thing as mauling and molestation. Just because you don’t like a guy doesn’t mean he’s a predator. Sometimes a dork is just a dork.

    • VodkaSoaked

      A guy using his money, influence, and buying a woman things in order to get her to sleep with him is considered coercion? I thought it was called dating?

      So if she was wearing a push-up bra, control top hose and make-up we can accuse her of entrapment?

      C’mon, people. A majority of our consumerist society is based off the notion that men are supposed to buy things for women. If you don’t agree with that then protest every woman wearing a diamond engagement ring and boo every man who insists on picking up the check.

  • rodieb123

    Obviously Jian Ghomeshi. I dunno, I have always found him kinda hot. This girl should, perhaps, grow up, Using people is never a good idea.

  • lala04

    Everyone seems to agree it’s Jian Ghomeshi. BTW- the girl on the date sounds self-absorbed and whiny. The date was pretty uneventful and not worth repeating, Canadian C-list or not. I’ve been on worse. Trust. I think a lot of us have. Ugh.

  • LBoogie

    you ARE a fabulous writer! I thoroughly enjoyed this… and I’m stealing that comeback if anyone ever asks if I’m preggers

  • KWDragon

    It pains me to read the comments of the people who want to blame the victim in this scenario. It is this sort of mean-spirited commentary that discourages women from speaking up when they are sexually attacked or molested.

    I sincerely hope that the woman who wrote this does not read the uninformed and hurtful comments in this thread. “Keith” is a predator, pure and simple. She exposed his bad behavior. That is on him, not her.

    • kelno19

      Meh, I’ve had worse dates…

    • VodkaSoaked

      How IN ANY MANNER was she sexually attacked? Hand ont the lower back? Any men’s magazine claim that motion is a subtle way to attract women. Similiar to how women’s magazines tell you to keep eye contact with a man and point your feet towards him.

      Oh, right, he grabbed her ass. Okay, I’ll give you that the action was innappropriate. After she told him to stop, she walked away, just far enough for her to be out of reach yet still directly in front of his friends? So she felt uncomfortable enough to tell him to stop, but not to the point where she felt her safety was in jeopardy and she should flee. Especially since it was Metric playing. After that he attempted to hold her hand, attempted to hug her, rubbed her back and then removed her purse. All the while being under the impression this was a date, a view she admitted she did not attempt to dispute. So his actions actually deescalated as the night wore on.

      And sorry, but if you include ANYTHING in the car you’re being ridiculous. Because being outside she was in NO WAY still bound by her self-imposed “I didn’t want to embaress him in front of his friends” pact. She could have been firm in her feelings and left alone. Or even if taking the ride get out of the car and certainly not hug the guy goodbye.

      So while I’ll conced this was an unpleasent evening for this young lady, it was in no way a sexual assault. Calling it that only down plays the true severity of an actual assault.

  • ccincanada

    Another Canadian chimes in…gotta be Jian Ghomeshi. I passed by George Stroumboulopoulos on a Toronto street last summer and he doesn’t wear stinky cologne. He is kinda short, though. ;P

    Poor girl. But what I really want to know is how the heck she ended up hanging out out with Jake Gyllenhaal, and why she didn’t pour herself into his lap instead? ;) lol!

  • Nadine_L

    I never got a gay vibe off of Jian Ghomeshi, BUT…

    Is it possible a man on the down-low will creepily hit on girls as a false show of heterosexuality to the world?

  • hughie

    Jian Ghomeshi. We live in the same neighbourhood and I had the (mis)fortunate of sitting beside him in an fairly empty pub when he was on an first date with some pretty girl who was more than a bit ditzy. Listening to his bravado was painful. He even started singing “King of Spain” to her – (a Moxy Frovous song, the band he was in when he was a teenager, for those who don’t know)! It took me a long time before I could listen to his radio show Q again.

  • Just Lurking

    Kim Mitchell. Max Webster. The station colours are red and black.

  • slantrhyme

    I’m American and don’t know this guy, although I looked him up and he was kind of attractive…so this is her side of it. She sounds a tad melodramatic. I mean, from the build-up, I was expecting this to end in rape. And yes, sensory memory does happen, but vomiting into a trash can because someone on the street was wearing the same cologne? Please. We’ve all been on dates and thought, ugh, this guy is not for me, but…

  • timesink

    I agree that she is being quite unfair. She, a relative unknown, can really hurt his reputation. I have had many bad dates with clueless guys, but it hardly made them terrible people, even if they made budding sexual advances. She was pretty willing at the get go, and not being gay when you are “supposed” to be is hardly something someone has control over. Glad so many are cutting the guy a little slack.

  • JustaGuess123

    Sorry I am with the camp that he sounds like a guy who thought he was on a date instead of being used. This is a 32 yo educated lady not some nun out of the convent she should have left or been clearer. She used him for tix and contacts and he tried to come on to her – give me a break as a woman I find her an embarrassing stereotype. Just because I don’t have a penis doesn’t mean I can’t speak up for myself and it doesn’t mean I have to use others to move ahead.

    • VodkaSoaked

      I agree. Using the “I’m too demure/ too polite to express firmly my discomfort” is degrading to the female gender. As is comparing her ordeal to a sexual assault. A guy with “no game” does not a “sexual predator” make.

  • escada82

    What an asshat and a total creep. Perhaps the most disturbing part was when he texted “Totes dif. vibe from yest”. YEST?! I thought I could handle all the word chopping, but that is TOO. MUCH.

  • yeppers

    It’s absolutely her fault.
    If she had made her intentions clear from the beginning, even in a non-confrontational way, a la “You KNOW this is just business, right? Hahaha. I only date blonds, anyways” or something along those lines, and, afterwards, he STILL pushed boundaries, she would have been in a better position to be firm and say “NO. We’ve discussed this. Metric is awesome. Let’s watch the damned show.” Instead, because she knows she lied, she backed herself into a corner from which she couldn’t get out of without saying “I know I’ve tried to get exactly what I want from you by giving me hope that you will have sex with me later, but, really, could you stop doing exactly what I’ve allowed you to do by perpetuating social fraud?”
    I’m sure she was about 29 when this happened, as Jian Ghomeshi’s book had yet to be published. I’m sure he has successfully dated girls wayyyy younger than him, and, frankly, it’s been my experience that Iranian men are often attracted to, or, at the very least amused/intrigued by women who aren’t simpering flowers and are stand-offish. She should have established it from the get-go that it was to be a business event, but she knew that there was a risk that he wouldn’t be able to help her if she had established boundaries from the get-go. Mixed messages, and a prime example of why some men think we women are bitches, manipulative, self-serving, cold-hearted and deserve to be treated with anything less than respect. You get what you give. She gave none.

  • VodkaSoaked

    Okay, I understand the guy might have been a bit handsy, but he is in NOW WAY a sexual predator. He may have looked at you like he was gonna roofie you, but he didn’t, he may have tried to rub on your shoulders, but he never forced himself upon you. I don’t even get the understanding of why the poster even minded being introduced to “influential” indie rockers to the point of comparing it to TomKat’s sad occurence. Other than insisiting that you not take a cab, you were never forced to do anything you didn’t want to do. And even with the cab, you were no longer int the presence of his friends so you no longer had the self inflicted sense of not wanting to embarress him in front of them. Understandably you may have had a bad or even uncomfortable night, but please do not compare that to being a victim of sexual assault.

    And for those of you who have issues with her “using” him to further her carreer or him trying to use his semi-fame to get into her pants…come on. Don’t act naive. In the entertainment industry (as well as any other) being arm candy in order to hobnob and network with people that can help you out is nothing new. If she were a model hanging with a pro athlete I assure you not so many females would be supporting her decision. And guys have to entice women to sleep with them. They use their money, fame, cars, connections, and anything else they need to to attract the opposite sex. Hell, if a man could have sex with a woman in a cardboard box, HE’D NEVER BUY A HOUSE!

    • bangthegong

      Your victim blaming is horrific. Poor men, who have to have big cars and houses to get women to sleep with them, right? All those frigid sluts of the world who won’t sleep with any guy who accosts them sexually even when they’re completely disinterested are to blame for any poor, innocent sexual predator victimizing them. Obviously.

  • flower

    Definitely Jian Ghomeshi, IMHO. I was just looking at his facebook page and saw him use the term “eep”, as above. From Dec 9th, 2012 – “Also, I don’t know why my face makes those sad expressions when I’m singing…eep.” I don’t know anyone else who does that. Is that common. Also, he seems very, very into himself. So much so that I don’t think he’d even notice any cues, thoughts or feelings other than his own. Reading his updates is sort of nauseating, and I can see how the quoted texts above would be his writing style. Plus, it appears he has a book that he’s proud of. JMHO. I know how this woman feels, and it stays with you. And I can understand why she’d be concerned about her career if she ticked him off. The CBC and his show are pretty significant in Canada.

  • bangthegong

    The victim blaming here is gross, honestly.
    First, people are saying she tried to “use” him. Nope. She said he invited her to a cool show she wanted to go to, she thought they could become friends, and because he mentioned being interested in her writing, thought he could help her with her career. She did not say “I saw him and thought he was gross and terrible, but he could make me rich & famous, so I decided to sex him up so he’d help me.”
    Having connected friends, associates, or relatives and using their connection does not make one “using” them. In fact, in entertainment, it’s one of the main ways many people get in. Whether that’s on the journalism side or the celebrity side.

    Second, his persistence is absolutely a rape tactic, and his persistence wouldn’t have stopped if she hadn’t gotten let out a block from her house and walked home. He would’ve kept going until he raped her; and yes, coercing a person to sleep with you even when they’d expressed resistance before is rape. Many of you are so used to rape culture that you can’t even recognize when something is dangerous and problematic. Unwanted touching is problematic. If she removed his hands several times, and she said she PHYSICALLY REMOVED his hands, she did not express consent, and he was, YES, being a sexual predator.
    She called her sister to ask what she should do BECAUSE of rape culture. Women are made to believe that when they’re uncomfortable, they’re the problem; that the man isn’t really wrong, they are. She was uncertain of what to do because IT’S NEVER CLEAR WHAT TO DO IN THESE SITUATIONS. This is exactly how acquaintance rape happens. A woman is trying not to hurt his feelings, but he keeps persisting, even though she is expressing disinterest in him or his advances. People need to understand that getting a woman to have sex should not be convincing a disinterested woman to relent. That is rape. If a woman wants to have sex, she will have sex without needing to be coerced, especially after she’s already expressed disinterest. And you do not need a clear “NO” for it to be sexual assault. Things like moving away, moving your hands off of her body, making excuses to leave, etc… those are non-consenting actions, and persisting after that makes you a sexual predator.
    He also invited her out under false pretenses. She obviously was not expecting it to be a romantic endeavor. How is SHE the problem, because she had no interest in being sexual with this man?
    Nothing he did was okay. If she felt uncomfortable, he was wrong, and that’s the end of it. She obviously felt violated enough to cry and then to vomit.
    And those of you saying “how could she still want to vomit months later” or however long after it was; you’re so lucky to never have experienced a sexual assault. For some people, they will never get over it.
    Please, please people, EDUCATE YOURSELVES on rape, sexual assault, rape culture, and consent, because there seems to be a LOT of misunderstanding about what these things are, and about what makes someone a predator.

    • Fortuna88

      Kudos. I absolutely agree and appreciate your post. Reading what this girl went through reminded me of an almost identical date I had with an older C-list Canadian celebrity (seriously). I had a pit in my stomach while reading her account because I vividly remembered how freaked out such strong and physical advances I was getting from someone so much older. The age difference does factor into it because, while a girl can assume younger men will be brash and unpredictable in their advances, It’s unsettling and even scary when it’s coming from someone one would think knows better

      She is describing the relentless and seemingly oblivious behavior of a sexual predator. Mine ended up losing respect and credibility not long after my experience because he was caught hitting on and groping much much much younger girls who made the mistake of tweeting or telling him what fans the were. She was entitled to assume, gay or not, famous or not, that a relative stranger would treat her with enough respect to know she hadn’t consented to his advances by agreeing to meet up with him. No woman “deserves” to have her physical space (even the small of her back) violated by a man, just because she agreed to go out with him. She actually did say no to what he was doing (verbally and non-verbally) and it really wasn’t her fault that she was confused by the fact he ignored it.

      Her reaction, surprise and disgust at how she was treated was predictable. It’s what they rely on – putting a woman off-balance so unexpectedly that while she is trying to process what is happening or how to handle it, he can keep at her until she feels it’s too late to get away or like it’s her fault this is all happening. His behavior, unchecked, will accelerate just like the guy I knew. The fact that she wrote about it so cleverly and made light of it shouldn’t undermine her experience or cause her to be further victimized by the insensitive bashing from some of the posters here.

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