Creepy Canadian Come On

canada faceSOLVED!

BG Note: This is a looong story published on XO Jane by a writer who had a bad date with a guy she describes as a “C-list Canadian celebrity”.

[XO Jane] I met a man I’ll call Keith at an outdoor concert in Toronto last year. I was sitting with a group of people, Jake Gyllenhaal among them (sorry for the name drop, but he factors into the story later), and Keith walked up to introduce himself to us.

I knew of Keith because he has a successful radio show in Canada. A lot of Canadians love him for his views, interviews, and radio voice.

As Keith schmoozed with the people around me, I enjoyed the concert and also tried to make Jake fall for me using telepathic love vibes. Just kidding. There were no love vibes, and the only feeling Jake had was annoyance after Keith arrived. He kept trying to talk to Jake, who wasn’t feeling his “I really want to get you on my show and maybe into your pants” vibe, so Keith soon turned his attention to me.

“Sorry, how do you pronounce your name again?” he said.

“Um, Carla,” I replied.

“Oh, I thought it was more complicated, like Carafalooota,” he said. I laughed.

A few minutes later, the concert was over, and my party and I left.

The next day, I sent Keith a public Twitter message saying it was nice to meet him. It was. I, like many Canadians, was a fan of his show.

Actually, truth be told, I’ve never listened to his show, but still, I appreciated him as a talented radio personality.

Keith wrote me a private message soon after saying he read some of my work online and really liked my writing. He also asked me if I’d like to join him to see Metric play the next night at the Opera House.

I’d always wanted to see Metric live, and I thought I might be able to make Keith my best gay friend in Toronto. I was still a newbie and needed friends. I also figured that the friendship might lead to exciting Toronto career opportunities down the line. He did say he liked my writing.

The next night, I met him at a wine bar for a quick drink before the show. When I walked in, I was greeted by both the overwhelming stench of his cologne and the sinking feeling that Keith was not, as I had assumed, gay. This wasn’t a friend date; it was a date, date –- at least to him.

He looked at me the way a creepy older man looks at a young, silly girl he’s going to buy a drink he’s planning to slip a roofie into. I didn’t know what to do. He was 15 years older than me, but what’s more, I found him totally unattractive and didn’t want to be on a date with him.

But I couldn’t just leave.

“So, you’re friends with Jake Gyllenhaal?” he asked.

“No. I met him yesterday and we talked about baseball for five minutes,” I said.

“Oh. He seems like a jerk, eh?” he said.

“I thought he was nice,” I said.

Nervous and trying to avoid eye contact with him, I proceeded to talk about nothing in particular for the next 20 minutes with such speed, he might have thought I had just done an eight ball in the bathroom.

He checked his phone approximately 35 times and mentioned the memoir he was writing about 10 times. Apparently, he was in a band when he was younger, or something. I wasn’t really paying attention.

Before my drink was finished, Keith rushed me out of the bar to get to the concert down the street.

In front of the small venue, he introduced me to a bunch of people he thought I would know.

“You’re meeting the who’s who of Canadian indie rock!” he whispered into my ear enthusiastically. I had no idea who they were, but most of them had cool beards. The way he introduced me, however, was disconcerting. I was being “presented,” in the same way Tom Cruise used to present Katie Holmes on red carpets. I did not like it.

I wanted to let him know I wasn’t into him, but he seemed like a harmless dork, and I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his bearded friends.

As I talked to one of them, I’d look up every now and then to catch a glimpse of Keith staring at me intently with a strange smile on his face. He was giving me the heebie jeebies and, again, I wanted to leave.

But Metric. It’ll be fine once we’re inside, I thought, we’re just watching a concert.

There was no assigned seating, and we were standing on the balcony. As soon as the lights went down, and the first notes started playing, I felt a sweaty hand travel across the back of my dress and grab my ass.

That hand was Keith’s.

Shocked, I looked up at him like “WHAT?!” He looked back at me with sex eyes and smiled. Disgusted, I asked him to stop, and stepped away from him and his hand.

This is Metric playing the Opera House. Emily Haines, can you hear my heart beating like a hammer? HELP ME!

I figured he’d get the point since I moved, but instead, he followed me. I watched the concert intently, but he soon grabbed my hand to hold it.

His friends were right behind us, and they all smiled when I looked back. Despite my extreme discomfort, I felt I couldn’t tell Keith off, so I discreetly pulled my hand away, crossed my arms over my stomach and stared straight ahead.

When he started rubbing my back, I again told him to stop, and when he put his hand over my shoulders, I said I was hot and lifted it off.

“Oh yeah, you’re hot,” he replied.

Dying inside, I felt sad that not only had I lost interest in watching Metric, but they were also starting to sound like tainted torture music.

I was planning my exit strategy when Keith grabbed the strap my large purse and took it off my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Shhh,” he replied, placing my purse on the ground and slipping his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

“What the fuck?!” I said. “You don’t put a woman’s purse on the dirty ground.” Apparently, I have more respect for a leather purse from my mom than for my own body. Not really — but this was my breaking point.

“But it’s in the way,” he said. He seemed intrigued, and challenged, by my passionate reaction.

“I’ll be back.” I couldn’t take it anymore. Keith had gone from harmless dork to repulsive sexual predator.

I ran down the stairs and called my sister from the bathroom. “What do I do?” I was concerned that he would somehow ruin my fledgling career in Canadian media forever if I bailed on him, as stupid as that sounds.

“Get outta there,” my sister said. I wanted to. Desperately. Running down the stairs had given me a taste of the freedom that could so easily be mine if I just ran outside and never looked back. But I didn’t want to be rude, and I thought it best to leave on good terms.

(This is the part where I really want to go back in time and shake myself.)

I did what any good, failed Catholic girl plagued by a crippling sense of guilt would do: I lied.

“I have to go, I have a terrible headache — a migraine. I also have to work very early. Sorry,” I said, looking towards the EXIT sign with a renewed hopefulness that I hadn’t felt in hours.

“Oh no. I’ll drive you,” he said.

“NO! I mean, no. I don’t want to ruin the show for you. I’ll get a cab.”

“I can’t let you take a cab if you have a migraine,” he said, leading me down the stairs with a “concerned” creepy hand on the small of my back.

I insisted on taking a cab until I realized that he was walking me to his car, which was right outside.

All but defeated, I got into his car, pissed off that I was doing so, and stared out the window listlessly.

Even though I had a terrible fake migraine, he insisted on talking to me.

“Do you recognize the colors of my car?” he said.

“They are black and red. Like Spider-Man?” I said.

“Ha! No. That’s silly. They’re the colors of my show,” he laughed.

“But your show is on the radio, and I don’t listen to it,” I confessed. I was DONE.

“Did I tell you I’m writing a book?” he asked.

“Multiple times,” I said. “You can stop here.”

We were a block from my apartment and there was no way he was going to know my address.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“No, you won’t,” I said. “Thank you for the concert and the ride. Have a good night.”

He leaned in and I avoided his lips by giving him a half-hearted hug, but he still managed to peck the side of my pursed mouth as I was turning to get out of the car. I urgently yanked on the door handle until the door sprang open, and scurried out.

Once I reached my front door, I started crying in shame. A thick layer of self-loathing had settled over my once-optimistic heart. Why had I handled the night that way? Why didn’t I tell him he was acting like as asshole and I only agreed to meet him because I, like the rest of Canada, thought he was gay? Why am I so passive in awkward situations? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

I had a hot shower to remove his gross cologne stench, which had stuck to me like an airborne virus.

The next morning, I awoke to a text from him.

“If you’re late for work, blame it on me ;)”

I didn’t reply to Keith’s text, thinking that he would take the hint; but based on past experience I should have known Keith does not a hint take.

As his messages became more and more pathetic, (e.g., “Did we break up already?”), I eventually confessed the truth and told him that I was sorry but I thought it was a friend date, not a real date, and I wasn’t interested.

To this, he replied: “Eeep! Totes diff. vibe from yest.” (He actually texted those words. Like that. To a girl he was interested in.)

Over the next two weeks, his texts begged me to give him another chance. He even went so far as to promise that he looks better with TV makeup on, like that would make a difference.

I felt sorry for him. Clearly being a C-list Canadian celebrity hadn’t afforded him any “game.”

He finally stopped texting, but every time his name came up in conversation, or I saw his face in an ad, I cringed.

In talking to my friends Crystal and Melissa, I found out that Keith has tried his same creepy-ass moves out on many other girls. He once lured a friend of theirs into a hotel room to “watch a movie,” and tried to sleep with her once she sat on the bed. She, too, had thought him harmless and gay beforehand.

This is me now. Hardened. Suspicious. More Lucille 1 than Lucille 2. I’ll stop making Arrested Development references now.

Two months later, I was walking down the street and passed a man who was wearing an offensive amount of Keith’s pungent cologne. Overcome by scent-memory nausea, I vomited into a nearby trashcan. A concerned older lady came up to me. “Are you pregnant, dear?” she asked.

“Only with disgust, thank God,” I said, smiling. She smiled back, perplexed.

And that was how I expelled the gross feelings left over from the worst “date” I’ve ever gone on.

Keith:

SOLVED!

Keith: Jian Ghomeshi

This story absolutely exploded in Canada over the weekend!

Jian Ghomeshi, who is the popular host of the CBC morning show Q – which is syndicated to 180 markets in the United States and Canada – was fired from his job. Five minutes later, an article in The Toronto Star revealed that Ghomeshi has a systematic pattern of beating up women. Then, in a really bizarre social media blitz, Jian excused his behavior as part of a series of consensual BDSM courtships. He plans to sue CBC for $50 million.

jian ghomeshi

You can read the entire article at The Toronto Star. Here is a brief, edited version:

CBC fires Jian Ghomeshi over sex allegations

CBC star Jian Ghomeshi has been fired over “information” the public broadcaster recently received that it says “precludes” it from continuing to employ the 47-year-old host of the popular Q radio show.
Over the past few months the Star has approached Ghomeshi with allegations from three young women, all about 20 years his junior, who say he was physically violent to them without their consent during sexual encounters or in the lead-up to sexual encounters. Ghomeshi, through his lawyer, has said he “does not engage in non-consensual role play or sex and any suggestion of the contrary is defamatory.”
In his Facebook posting Sunday evening, Ghomeshi wrote in an emotional statement that he has “done nothing wrong.” He said it is not unusual for him to engage in “adventurous forms of sex that included role-play, dominance and submission.” However, he said it has always been consensual.
The three women interviewed by the Star allege that Ghomeshi physically attacked them on dates without consent. They allege he struck them with a closed fist or open hand; bit them; choked them until they almost passed out; covered their nose and mouth so that they had difficulty breathing; and that they were verbally abused during and after sex.
A fourth woman, who worked at CBC, said Ghomeshi told her at work: “I want to hate f— you.”
jian ghomeshi 2“I have always been interested in a variety of activities in the bedroom but I only participate in sexual practices that are mutually agreed upon, consensual, and exciting for both partners,” Ghomeshi said in his posting.
“Let me be the first to say that my tastes in the bedroom may not be palatable to some folks. They may be strange, enticing, weird, normal, or outright offensive to others. … But that is my private life. … And no one, and certainly no employer, should have dominion over what people do consensually in their private life.
Ghomeshi is the co-creator of Q, one of the most successful shows in CBC history. It is the corporation’s flagship radio show in Canada and is syndicated to 180 radio stations in the U.S.
Ghomeshi said in his Facebook posting that his CBC bosses gave him a choice to “walk away quietly” or to be fired. He chose not to walk away and “publicly suggest that this was my decision.” And so, Ghomeshi said, he was “stripped from my show, barred from the building and separated from my colleagues.”
Two hours later, his lawyers announced that Monday morning, when courts open, Ghomeshi would be filing a $50-million lawsuit against the CBC, a corporation he later said on Facebook he has “doggedly defended” for years.
The women now accusing Jian Ghomeshi of violence began as his fans. Two had very similar early experiences with him. After Ghomeshi met them at public events, which he had promoted on CBC Radio, he contacted them through Facebook and asked them on dates. They eagerly accepted.
Each woman said she remembers Ghomeshi being initially sweet and flattering, then later suggesting or hinting at violent sex acts. When they failed to respond or expressed displeasure, they recalled Ghomeshi dismissing his remarks as “just fantasies,” reassuring them he wouldn’t ask them to do anything they weren’t comfortable with.
The women deny that “safe words” were employed in the relationship.
In one woman’s case, she visited Ghomeshi at his Toronto home and alleges as soon as she walked into his house he suddenly struck her hard with his open hand, then continued to hit her and choked her. The woman alleges Ghomeshi repeatedly beat her about the head and choked her.
The Star’s interviews of the women were lengthy. The women, all educated and employed, said Ghomeshi’s actions shocked them.
Another woman, who described a similar alleged attack, said that in the lead-up to their date Ghomeshi “warned me he would be aggressive.”
“I thought this meant he would want to pull my hair and have rough sex. He reassured me that I wouldn’t be forced. (Later) he attacked me. Choked me. Hit me like I didn’t know men hit women. I submitted.”
None of the women has contacted police. When asked why by the Star, the women cited several reasons including fears that a police report would expose their names and worries that their consent or acceptance of fantasy role-play discussions in text or other messages with Ghomeshi would be used against them as evidence of consent to actual violence.
Only one of the alleged victims worked at the CBC. She never dated Ghomeshi. She alleges he approached her from behind and cupped her rear end in the Q studio, and that he quietly told her at a story meeting that he wanted to “hate f—” her.
Each of the women accusing Ghomeshi cite the case of Carla Ciccone as a reason why they desire anonymity. Last year Ciccone wrote an article for the website XOJane about a “bad date” with an unidentified, very popular Canadian radio host whom readers speculated to be Ghomeshi.
In the days that followed, Ciccone received hundreds of abusive messages and threats. An online video calling her a “scumbag of the Internet” has been viewed over 397,000 times. Ciccone’s claims about the behaviour during her “bad date” were far less severe than the allegations of abuse from the women now accusing Ghomeshi, who fear the online backlash could be significantly worse for them if their names were made public.
So it turns out that Ciccone’s instincts that Ghomeshi was a sexual predator were right on. It’s distressing that some people chose to dismiss or attack her as being overly sensitive or overly dramatic or as being a liar. That kind of backlash is exactly the reason many women fail to outcry after being subjected to inappropriate behavior or outright sexual assault or physical abuse. We hope that those people now have better insight into the behavior of a predator, and will refrain from attacking the victim in the future.
Rachypie was first with the correct response!
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138 comments to Creepy Canadian Come On

  • audreyyy

    i have no idea who this is (im american) but i feel so bad for this girl, this kind of behavior is disgusting and i hope “keith” loses his job

    • memary

      What? Why?
      Because he asked a girl out after she publicly tweeted him, she accepted, and then he had the gall to put his hand on her back and drive her home when she claimed illness?
      I think “Carla” sounds like a bitch, and I’m also american.

      • KatarinaJ

        How is she bitch when she so clearly backed away from physical exchange and he just chose to ignore it by getting gropey? Your response is so hostile. Several times she even notes she was just trying to be civil or cordial. I have had a guy or two who ‘refuses to take a hint’ slash SMACK OVER THE HEAD with a ‘not interested’ and they are disgusting. They use intimedation tactics so ‘wear you down’ – and in her story she even cites several instances she heard of where he was notorious for this. THIS is the clincher for me, not her accepting a date.

      • memary

        I don’t think I’m being hostile, she said in her story:
        1) I felt I couldn’t tell Keith off
        2) I discreetly pulled my hand away
        3) I lied
        4) I didn’t want to be rude
        5)Keith does not a hint take
        6) Why had I handled the night that way?
        Then she claims to have physically vomited months later from the “ordeal”. It’s not his job to take a hint, he thought he was on a date and touched her back and drove her home when, again, she lied.
        I stand by my assessment.

      • TracieKnits

        Refusing advances does not make one a bitch.

        Refusing to take “stop” at face value does, however, make one a sexual predator.

      • karensue32

        It was more than just his putting his hand on her back. She thought he was gay, which apparently others did too, when she accepted the invitation. She made it clear she didn’t want him touching her and he did not respect that. Could she have been more aggressive in letting him know she wasn’t interested? Yes, but she was trying to be cordial and not embarrass him. This guy has the signs of a someone who can’t take no for an answer and thinks he is going to build a “relationship” by trying to bed someone on the first date. Keith is definitely a douchebag.

      • Deryn

        When in this story did she say “stop?” Or make it clear (via a declaration, not just “he should have known by my body language”) that she didn’t want to be touched?

        I’m not defending the guy except in this specific situation, and neither am I calling the girl who is telling this story a bitch. She seems more an unfortunate product of the PC times. But I’ve been on bad dates, I’ve had genuine sexual harassers grope me at work, and I’ve nearly been raped twice (I just got lucky both times). I’m sick to death of girls horrible-izing their mildly annoying dating experiences into sexual assault or rape. If this is not pushed back against, ultimately, it will have the effect of diminishing accusations of actual rape. When it’s happening, YOU KNOW. It’s not something you decide to call it later.

      • Vampira

        BTW, it was ok for her to use him to get into the biz, but when things didn’t go her way, all of a sudden she’s a victim?

  • CanaryCry

    I’ll guess Narduwar, but I could be wrong.

  • YoGo8c

    “harmless and gay”.

    How dare she describe Jake as ‘harmless’!!! ;)

    Joking aside, I was waiting for Jake to ride in and rescue her with his giant beard (apparently the beard was double-booked that night so…). The only other thing I got is that I liked the ref to Tom Cruise and ‘bearded friends’ in proximity. Heh.

  • fozzie

    Maybe its Jian Ghomeshi?
    He used to be in a band called Moxy Früvous
    He is 46 but not bad looking at all

  • wfreshie

    wow, that is some story, but I don’t have a guess yet

  • Brittttt

    George Stroumboulopoulos? I never thought he was gay.

    • msmoody

      I think it’s George too. He’s always struck me as gay or asexual. And I could totally picture him being obnoxious on a date — it’s the ones who act all goody-two-shoes (like GS) that end up being the super dicks in real life.

    • tamagotchi

      I’ve met George. Definitely a gentleman. Intelligent and not pretentious. Not creepy at all.

  • Krisssssy

    This has to be Jian!

  • didigossip

    Jian Ghomeshi

  • QubbuQ

    That would be Jian Ghomeshi of the CBC!

    He used to be in a folk-rock group in the 90’s called Moxy Früvous. He has a very used-car-salesman sort of persona. Very slick and seems quite gay. His show set is black and red. He video tapes his radio shows and they air on YouTube. You can see on his Wikipedia page a photo of him on set. He is actually reasonably attractive in a cute kind of way in photos I’ve seen of in. No idea in person though. I’ve listened to some of his interviews and he’s very intense and slick and prone to effusive flattering his guests… except Billy Bob Thornton.

    Wiki says: “Now based in Toronto, he is the host of the national daily cultural affairs talk program, Q, on CBC Radio One and CBC TV. The show, which he co-created in 2007, now has the largest audience of any cultural affairs program in Canada and has gained the all-time highest audience share for a CBC program in its morning time slot.”

    His web site address is listed in his Wikipedia profile.

    • QubbuQ

      That said, Carla sounds like a real ‘winner’. Admittedly going to dinner with him just to use him. She thought he was nice until she realized he was interested in her. Her inability to tell him what she really felt or project with any clarity so he could read her messages appropriately are on her.

      It just sounds like a regular old bad date to me and the fact that he is a famous radio personality is the reason why she’s sharing the story, to make herself more interesting. Carla hasn’t been successful in getting ahead in the entertainment world so now what, she turns on the people she’s met and tells stories to make herself more interesting. meh. That’s usually the last hurrah before heading out the door permanently for anyone in any industry. Burning bridges is never smart.

      He didn’t hurt her. He didn’t roofie her. That’s her imagination and creative story telling. She didn’t project boundaries in a clear way at all. She even states that herself. So what else did she expect? What was the point in telling the story about the bad date? Just to make him look skeevy?

      I don’t enjoy his radio personality or presentation style at all, but really he doesn’t sound any different than a lot of men.

      • Molls

        I agree. She was too wishy washy with him. If she didn’t want to be with him, she should have MADE IT CLEAR TO HIM, ended the evening and gone home. All the time I was reading that story, I just wanted to shake some sense into her.

      • ValleyOfTheGalls

        I totally agree. Who hasn’t been on a first date with a guy like that? He touched her back, it was too soon. He drove her home. He texted her. It’s not his fault he isn’t gay. SHE TRIED TO USE HIM!
        The whole boring story goes nowhere and seems like an excuse to drop Gyllenhaal’s name.

      • Heilige Bimbam

        Thought it strange she left to phone her sister to ask what to do. She could have left then, but she says she did not want to be rude. I do not find Keith strange at all, but I find the girl very strange, especially her attempt to make a harmless story sound worse than it really was. If anyone comes out as pathetic, it was she, sorry.

      • KWDragon

        You make it sound like the guy was harmless. He was not. He was pulling one of the oldest powerplays in the book. Older, connected man puts moves on younger, up-and-coming woman and expects play in return for access. No. I’m not having it.

        Women are conditioned to be inoffensive to men as often as possible, to not “hurt their feelings” lest they be considered mean-spirited and rude. It’s easy for a man (or even another woman) to say, “She should have been more forceful,” but until you are in that position, it is impossible to say how *you* would react.

        I think she did the best she could and neither you nor she should be beating her up for her choices in the heat of the moment.

      • guesselman

        YES YES she didn’t outright state that she didn’t want the date to be romantic, but she made it very clear that she didn’t want to be touched. We avoid confrontation and that is the curse of being Canadian, because we assume that everyone understands high context and can read subtle reactions. A sexual predator will obviously use the lack of confrontation to claim that there were no clear indications; Canadians need to learn to firmly say ‘NO I’m not interested’ and ‘I am not enjoying the evening so I’m headed home in a cab’ without feeling guilty.

        But QubbuQ I hope for you that you’re not serious about this being a typical, bad date. It’s unacceptable for someone to put a stranger in the awkward position in front of a group of friends, and with the bullshit promises of advancing their career. This was intentional!!! We have to hold predators accountable for their behavior.

      • LooLoo

        I’m glad someone said it. She sounds like a real b****. She was on a date and he wanted some harmless touching. He didn’t grab a b**b or anything, he touched her neck and her dress. He’s hardly a sexual predator. A predator would have attacked her. This guy was pretty far from that. This girl thought she would use him for whatever she thought she could get and was offended when a guy who she didn’t think was attractive wanted to have a normal date with hand holding. She sounds like a nightmare. Of course he checked his phone over and over. She admitted that she talked about herself for 20 minutes straight and didn’t listen when he tried to tell her a few very basic things about his life. It’s sad that he still wanted to go out with her. I hope he finds a decent girl who won’t treat him like that.

      • raslebol

        totally agree:it’s just a bad date and she wanted to use him when she tought he was gay(?!)

      • QubbuQ

        guesselman- I do think it sounds typical as in like an awful lot of bad dates I’ve heard of from friends and have experienced myself. That does not in any way mean I think it’s acceptable or to be encouraged, if it’s intentional. ;-) Two different thoughts. It just happens a lot. blech.
        It’s entirely possible he really is totally clueless about reading people and thought he had game. Had she been attracted to him, what he did would have come across differently. If she was that clueless about reading his intentions, perhaps she misread other things in the evening too. When one is not attracted to someone and is trying to navigate that, everything becomes magnified. Every pet peeve is noticed and some that wouldn’t bother you with another, do bother you with them. Not saying he isn’t a creeper, I don’t know the guy and can’t say. But I did read Her words, and it’s her wild story that we are basing our judgements on. She doesn’t come across well to me.
        Also we don’t know that he made any promises whatsoever of advancing her career. She just said She thought it would help.

      • Booboo1068

        I agree with @KWdragon and @guesselman. Admittedly every story has two sides and we’re only getting one by hear say not directly or bring there in person to observe for ourselves what went down. HOWEVER, If she was much younger and he was pulling a power play its a comment on his character and willingness to abuse his position with those who are yes ambitious but also naive and a bit intimidated. It’s also not fair to predict how we’d react given the EXACT same circumstances. To just call her a victim though is demeaning to HER. Im sure she’s a smart girl with good instincts that happened to make a mistake in judgement. She learned a lesson and hopefully will see the power in owning HER part in what happened and moving forward a bit wiser.

      • Red Velvet

        When men do it, it’s called “networking” and is a socially approved business move. When women do it, it apparently suddenly becomes “using.”

    • tonysgirl69

      I’m with Red Velvet. It’s always a double standard. She would not play so now she’s a b* and a power hungry woman. He is old enough to know the signs of a woman who is or is not interested in him. Him being the older one by at least 15 years is a sign that he knows what he was doing was a little aggressive but his hope to get laid be a much younger lady got the best of him. Most young women go thru this and know next time how to handle themselves in the future it this should ever arise again. I’m not mad at what he did but let’s be honest here. If she had gave it up then she would be called a whore. But she didn’t and now she’s a b*. Um.

  • showtimeEI6

    Keith: Jian Ghomeshi

    According to wikipedia: “Jian Ghomeshi (ZHEE-on go-MESH-ee), born June 9, 1967, is a Canadian broadcaster, writer, musician and producer of Iranian descent. He was born in London, UK and raised in Thornhill, Ontario.[1] Now based in Toronto, he is the host of the national daily cultural affairs talk program, Q, on CBC Radio One and CBC TV. The show, which he co-created in 2007, now has the largest audience of any cultural affairs program in Canada and has gained the all-time highest audience share for a CBC program in its morning time slot.[2] Q now airs on over 150 stations in the USA including WBEZ in Chicago WNYC in New York WUFT in Florida and WDET in Detroit.”

    Ghomeshi wrote memoir titled “1982” about a formative year in his life (see link http://thechronicleherald.ca/books/138797-radio-host-jian-ghomeshi-gets-personal-in-new-memoir)

  • travoltasbeard

    OMG! He like, totally tried this move on other girls! Ewwww…like creepy old guy! LOL!!!

    Ace, this is some of the funniest fan fiction I have ever read from this girls letter to her friends right before prom! I mean Jake G!

    Like, like totally cool. But the poor Canadian radio host was like, totally not cool. He was like over 30 and all grey and using a walker! LOL!!!

    This “star-effer” just like, totally made my day! OMG! LOL!

  • boyjack4

    Joan Ghomeshi? Written a book, red background on his shows? Bearded

  • Mtlmeee

    I’m Canadian and my educated guess would be..Jian Ghomeshi

  • tagepo

    george strombopolous lol I think that’s how you spell his name and it’s all I can come up with as a guess

  • huhwhoami

    wow this is so blatant can this be legal

  • I Am PunkA

    That funny thing about this is that the girl in this tries to paint herself as some helpless victim, but she was trying to use the guy, then it backfired on her, and she got all surprised by it and tried to make herself look smart and the guy creepy. No offense, but she is the one reached out first, he then responded, so why wouldn’t he think she was interested? Her calling him gay was a cover to make herself look like less of an idiot. BEcause she was an idiot.

    Keith: Scott Fox

  • deepcreek

    Jian, obviously.

  • ktktkt

    Wow, melodramatic much? The way this person was writing I was afraid she was going to be raped in the end. Oh no, he texted her too many times and presumed she was into him, just like every other guy on the planet.

  • ekie66

    Jian Ghomeshi. Just released his memoir of sorts and was in Moxy Fruvous. Love him on Q, though.

  • Elliegurl

    No idea who “Keith” is, but that was a great/horrible date story.

  • Very Unseemly

    Jian Ghomeshi –
    Band – Moxy Früvous

  • gotu

    Don’t know–but the writer makes the mistaken assumption Keith is gay, doesn’t like his cologne, and is upset when he hits on her (admittedly, he should have desisted when she turned him down). He gives her a ride home when she says she’s sick. I guess he’s no Jake Gyllenhaal, but does that make him the worst date and creepy? And she doesn’t like his cologne a lot.

    • gotu

      I’m not sure this is even fair to be a BI. And, to be completely snarky, Carla should probably spend more time honing her writing skills rather than trying use people to make connections if she wants to be a professional writer.

  • dexterfan

    Yay! A Canadian blind. Thanks BG! This HAS to be Jian Ghomeshi, formerly of the band Moxy Fruvous. He has a radio show…the background colours are red and white and his memoir was released last year.

  • jessieduck1980

    Jian Ghomeshi?

  • ivyleaguer

    I have worked with him and partied with him and still think he ‘sgay or in denial. great hair though

  • ivyleaguer

    Jian Ghomeshi ^^^ not sure what happened to the name before the rest of my sentence. Sorry Ace. my bad.

  • Cichla

    I can only assume that Keith is George Stroumboulopoulos. But if it is him, and this woman is 25 (Stroumboulopoulos is 40 – 15 that is mentioned = 25)she sounds rather brainless, immature and moronic.

  • AuntieMame

    Jian, obv. Could’ve been summed up as: Jian acted douchey, I put up with it for a free concert and then I felt bad. C’est un tragedie!

  • CheshireKitty

    At first I thought this might be John Derringer from Q107, who certainly has a black and red logo and seems squeezy and is a bit older, BUT he’s too much older for someone with a fledgling career I think and there’s no known band to speak of. But it has to be someone from Toronto, I believe, given the mention of Metric at Opera House.

    Sadly, I think this is Jian Ghomeshi. Jian was in the band Moxy Fruvous, published a memoir Fall 2012 (the Metric Opera House show was in the Spring of 2012), has black and red in the logo for his show for CBC radio, is well respected for his interviews, and I could see why someone might take him as gay. He was born in the early 70’s I believe, making him early 40’s to a fledgling mid-twenties journalist.

  • GillieB

    Ewwwwww Jian Ghomeshi. He went to York U when I was there and gave off the creepy vibe.

  • Andreinac13

    After a doing research on google I came up with the name:

    Keith Jian Ghomeshi.

    That guy sounds creepy!

  • boobytrap

    can’t be anyone else but jian ghomeshi. total creepster.

  • realmccoy18

    Jian Ghomeshi

  • azzizz

    Jian Ghomeshi, he hosts Q on cbc.
    The colors for his show appear to be black and red, he wrote a memoir that was published in 2012, he interviewed Metric on Q in 2012, and there seems to be a lot of controversy about whether he is gay or not.

    First time posting! :)

    • azzizz

      Parts of this story seem unfair. The writer seems unreasonably pissed from the moment she realizes that Keith thinks that this is a date. Just because she assumed that Keith was gay doesn’t mean that he knew she was operating on that assumption. Further, she sought him out after she met him and makes it clear that part of her motivation in doing so was to advance her own career. That’s not necessarily bad, just like it’s not necessarily bad that he assumed that she was interested in him romantically when she contacted him and agreed to go out with him. That being said, once she made it clear that she didn’t want to be touched and wanted to leave, he should have left her alone.

      • La Llorona

        Mhmm….yeah, but still. If she said no, and he couldn’t respect that, he sounds like he has major boundary issues.

        With that said, I don’t like this article.

  • jones

    George Stroumboulopolous

  • huhwhoami

    welll, hello there

  • ManhattanMeme

    Jian Ghomeshi!

  • Just Lurking

    Kim Mitchell.

  • noelle84

    George Stroumboulopoulos

  • Vinnie

    No idea on the blind but didn’t she just “out” Jake?!!!

  • maba7x

    No damn idea, but this story was funny as hell! Thanks for the laughs……..

  • GingerNaps

    Awwwww, why are you picking on Jian Ghomeshi? Your article is mean-spirited. He seems much sweeter than you.

  • minorkey

    Keith : Jian Ghomeshi

  • kermit1969

    Ryan Seacrest

  • La Llorona

    Damn, this dude sounds like a rapist.

  • Dak1928

    This is about alleged happenings on alleged date with Jian Ghomeshi, host of Q, CBC Radio’s wildly popular morning interview/music show. To summarize: aspiring journalist, after striking out with movie star, decides to use Canadian celebrity to further her career. It doesn’t go well. Aspiring journalist writes tell-all blog post, accusing celebrity of being a sexual predator. Not sure if the furthering-career thing has worked out, but aspiring journalist should definitely lawyer-up.

  • Dak1928

    Footnote: Americans will be most familiar with Ghomeshi as the interviewer of a petulant and rude Billy Bob Thornton. Whatever happened to Billy Bob, anyway?

  • whambamthanks

    Jian Ghomeshi? Has a regular show on CBC radio, formerly part of Moxy Fruvous, released an autobiography called 1982. (is my Canadian showing?)

  • lmg13

    Jian Ghomeshi! She’s right, assumed he was gay. Who knew he was creepy.

  • BangTidy

    Sounds like Jian Ghomeshi

  • emjaypee

    Oh, god. Is this Jian? I

  • beamer

    This is gross and ewww to the bad moves and too much cologne experience. Strombo (my boyfriend) hasn’t written a book so this has to be Jian. And hey! Ace! thanks for the CanCon! Way to make a CanaGirl come out of lurk mode.

  • Red Velvet

    The writer’s point is that she reacted the ways a lot of women are raised and repeatedly told to act: don’t make waves, don’t be rude, flirt but not too much, let the man do the pursuing, etc. And she found herself in a position where she felt unsafe, threatened, and groped as a result. It was a wake-up call for her, a relatively young woman, about how rape culture works. He’s not a rapist, and this didn’t end in a rape, but she realized for herself, and was shocked and upset by it, what kind of position she had put herself in by behaving in the “appropriate” “feminine” way, what the potential danger was, and how, if anything had happened, she would have been blamed (see the proof in various comments above) and would have felt guilty and second-guessed herself. It’s also her description of how he felt it was perfectly fine to grope her even after she stepped away and removed his hand (AND told him explicitly to stop) and how he never felt even for a moment that he should maybe check in with her regarding consent or her willingness. Her agreement to go see a band they both liked does not constitute “mixed messages.” She’s told that this is a pattern of behavior with him. It’s not that he doesn’t have “game”–it’s that his preferred game is coercion.

    • guesselman

      … but haven’t you heard? science proves that it’s natural because of … um … cavemen… challenge… chasing prey. She should know about primitive male behaviour and take the blame for dangling herself in front of him. Plus she got something out of it and didn’t give him anything in return so SHE’S the opportunist.

    • VelvetBrown

      THIS. I can’t believe women on here are defending this jerks behavior. Sure, she was trying to do a little networking, but that doesn’t mean she should be up for unwanted mauling and molestation. She made it clear the very first time he grabbed her backside that she wasn’t up for that. And since when is it ok to treat a woman like this even if it WAS a first “date date”. After reading some of the comments here, it’s clear we women still have a looooong way to go….

      • LooLoo

        Women definitely have a long way to go if they think that attempted hand-holding is the same thing as mauling and molestation. Just because you don’t like a guy doesn’t mean he’s a predator. Sometimes a dork is just a dork.

      • montrealaise

        Sorry, but going on a date with someone you can’t stand just because he might help your career isn’t “networking”. I can think of some other terms for it, though.

    • VodkaSoaked

      A guy using his money, influence, and buying a woman things in order to get her to sleep with him is considered coercion? I thought it was called dating?

      So if she was wearing a push-up bra, control top hose and make-up we can accuse her of entrapment?

      C’mon, people. A majority of our consumerist society is based off the notion that men are supposed to buy things for women. If you don’t agree with that then protest every woman wearing a diamond engagement ring and boo every man who insists on picking up the check.

  • rodieb123

    Obviously Jian Ghomeshi. I dunno, I have always found him kinda hot. This girl should, perhaps, grow up, Using people is never a good idea.

  • lala04

    Everyone seems to agree it’s Jian Ghomeshi. BTW- the girl on the date sounds self-absorbed and whiny. The date was pretty uneventful and not worth repeating, Canadian C-list or not. I’ve been on worse. Trust. I think a lot of us have. Ugh.

  • LBoogie

    you ARE a fabulous writer! I thoroughly enjoyed this… and I’m stealing that comeback if anyone ever asks if I’m preggers

  • KWDragon

    It pains me to read the comments of the people who want to blame the victim in this scenario. It is this sort of mean-spirited commentary that discourages women from speaking up when they are sexually attacked or molested.

    I sincerely hope that the woman who wrote this does not read the uninformed and hurtful comments in this thread. “Keith” is a predator, pure and simple. She exposed his bad behavior. That is on him, not her.

    • kelno19

      Meh, I’ve had worse dates…

    • VodkaSoaked

      How IN ANY MANNER was she sexually attacked? Hand ont the lower back? Any men’s magazine claim that motion is a subtle way to attract women. Similiar to how women’s magazines tell you to keep eye contact with a man and point your feet towards him.

      Oh, right, he grabbed her ass. Okay, I’ll give you that the action was innappropriate. After she told him to stop, she walked away, just far enough for her to be out of reach yet still directly in front of his friends? So she felt uncomfortable enough to tell him to stop, but not to the point where she felt her safety was in jeopardy and she should flee. Especially since it was Metric playing. After that he attempted to hold her hand, attempted to hug her, rubbed her back and then removed her purse. All the while being under the impression this was a date, a view she admitted she did not attempt to dispute. So his actions actually deescalated as the night wore on.

      And sorry, but if you include ANYTHING in the car you’re being ridiculous. Because being outside she was in NO WAY still bound by her self-imposed “I didn’t want to embaress him in front of his friends” pact. She could have been firm in her feelings and left alone. Or even if taking the ride get out of the car and certainly not hug the guy goodbye.

      So while I’ll conced this was an unpleasent evening for this young lady, it was in no way a sexual assault. Calling it that only down plays the true severity of an actual assault.

  • ccincanada

    Another Canadian chimes in…gotta be Jian Ghomeshi. I passed by George Stroumboulopoulos on a Toronto street last summer and he doesn’t wear stinky cologne. He is kinda short, though. ;P

    Poor girl. But what I really want to know is how the heck she ended up hanging out out with Jake Gyllenhaal, and why she didn’t pour herself into his lap instead? ;) lol!

  • Nadine_L

    I never got a gay vibe off of Jian Ghomeshi, BUT…

    Is it possible a man on the down-low will creepily hit on girls as a false show of heterosexuality to the world?

  • hughie

    Jian Ghomeshi. We live in the same neighbourhood and I had the (mis)fortunate of sitting beside him in an fairly empty pub when he was on an first date with some pretty girl who was more than a bit ditzy. Listening to his bravado was painful. He even started singing “King of Spain” to her – (a Moxy Frovous song, the band he was in when he was a teenager, for those who don’t know)! It took me a long time before I could listen to his radio show Q again.

  • Just Lurking

    Kim Mitchell. Max Webster. The station colours are red and black.

  • slantrhyme

    I’m American and don’t know this guy, although I looked him up and he was kind of attractive…so this is her side of it. She sounds a tad melodramatic. I mean, from the build-up, I was expecting this to end in rape. And yes, sensory memory does happen, but vomiting into a trash can because someone on the street was wearing the same cologne? Please. We’ve all been on dates and thought, ugh, this guy is not for me, but…

  • timesink

    I agree that she is being quite unfair. She, a relative unknown, can really hurt his reputation. I have had many bad dates with clueless guys, but it hardly made them terrible people, even if they made budding sexual advances. She was pretty willing at the get go, and not being gay when you are “supposed” to be is hardly something someone has control over. Glad so many are cutting the guy a little slack.

  • JustaGuess123

    Sorry I am with the camp that he sounds like a guy who thought he was on a date instead of being used. This is a 32 yo educated lady not some nun out of the convent she should have left or been clearer. She used him for tix and contacts and he tried to come on to her – give me a break as a woman I find her an embarrassing stereotype. Just because I don’t have a penis doesn’t mean I can’t speak up for myself and it doesn’t mean I have to use others to move ahead.

    • VodkaSoaked

      I agree. Using the “I’m too demure/ too polite to express firmly my discomfort” is degrading to the female gender. As is comparing her ordeal to a sexual assault. A guy with “no game” does not a “sexual predator” make.

  • escada82

    What an asshat and a total creep. Perhaps the most disturbing part was when he texted “Totes dif. vibe from yest”. YEST?! I thought I could handle all the word chopping, but that is TOO. MUCH.

  • yeppers

    It’s absolutely her fault.
    If she had made her intentions clear from the beginning, even in a non-confrontational way, a la “You KNOW this is just business, right? Hahaha. I only date blonds, anyways” or something along those lines, and, afterwards, he STILL pushed boundaries, she would have been in a better position to be firm and say “NO. We’ve discussed this. Metric is awesome. Let’s watch the damned show.” Instead, because she knows she lied, she backed herself into a corner from which she couldn’t get out of without saying “I know I’ve tried to get exactly what I want from you by giving me hope that you will have sex with me later, but, really, could you stop doing exactly what I’ve allowed you to do by perpetuating social fraud?”
    I’m sure she was about 29 when this happened, as Jian Ghomeshi’s book had yet to be published. I’m sure he has successfully dated girls wayyyy younger than him, and, frankly, it’s been my experience that Iranian men are often attracted to, or, at the very least amused/intrigued by women who aren’t simpering flowers and are stand-offish. She should have established it from the get-go that it was to be a business event, but she knew that there was a risk that he wouldn’t be able to help her if she had established boundaries from the get-go. Mixed messages, and a prime example of why some men think we women are bitches, manipulative, self-serving, cold-hearted and deserve to be treated with anything less than respect. You get what you give. She gave none.

  • VodkaSoaked

    Okay, I understand the guy might have been a bit handsy, but he is in NOW WAY a sexual predator. He may have looked at you like he was gonna roofie you, but he didn’t, he may have tried to rub on your shoulders, but he never forced himself upon you. I don’t even get the understanding of why the poster even minded being introduced to “influential” indie rockers to the point of comparing it to TomKat’s sad occurence. Other than insisiting that you not take a cab, you were never forced to do anything you didn’t want to do. And even with the cab, you were no longer int the presence of his friends so you no longer had the self inflicted sense of not wanting to embarress him in front of them. Understandably you may have had a bad or even uncomfortable night, but please do not compare that to being a victim of sexual assault.

    And for those of you who have issues with her “using” him to further her carreer or him trying to use his semi-fame to get into her pants…come on. Don’t act naive. In the entertainment industry (as well as any other) being arm candy in order to hobnob and network with people that can help you out is nothing new. If she were a model hanging with a pro athlete I assure you not so many females would be supporting her decision. And guys have to entice women to sleep with them. They use their money, fame, cars, connections, and anything else they need to to attract the opposite sex. Hell, if a man could have sex with a woman in a cardboard box, HE’D NEVER BUY A HOUSE!

    • bangthegong

      Your victim blaming is horrific. Poor men, who have to have big cars and houses to get women to sleep with them, right? All those frigid sluts of the world who won’t sleep with any guy who accosts them sexually even when they’re completely disinterested are to blame for any poor, innocent sexual predator victimizing them. Obviously.

  • flower

    Definitely Jian Ghomeshi, IMHO. I was just looking at his facebook page and saw him use the term “eep”, as above. From Dec 9th, 2012 – “Also, I don’t know why my face makes those sad expressions when I’m singing…eep.” I don’t know anyone else who does that. Is that common. Also, he seems very, very into himself. So much so that I don’t think he’d even notice any cues, thoughts or feelings other than his own. Reading his updates is sort of nauseating, and I can see how the quoted texts above would be his writing style. Plus, it appears he has a book that he’s proud of. JMHO. I know how this woman feels, and it stays with you. And I can understand why she’d be concerned about her career if she ticked him off. The CBC and his show are pretty significant in Canada.

  • bangthegong

    The victim blaming here is gross, honestly.
    First, people are saying she tried to “use” him. Nope. She said he invited her to a cool show she wanted to go to, she thought they could become friends, and because he mentioned being interested in her writing, thought he could help her with her career. She did not say “I saw him and thought he was gross and terrible, but he could make me rich & famous, so I decided to sex him up so he’d help me.”
    Having connected friends, associates, or relatives and using their connection does not make one “using” them. In fact, in entertainment, it’s one of the main ways many people get in. Whether that’s on the journalism side or the celebrity side.

    Second, his persistence is absolutely a rape tactic, and his persistence wouldn’t have stopped if she hadn’t gotten let out a block from her house and walked home. He would’ve kept going until he raped her; and yes, coercing a person to sleep with you even when they’d expressed resistance before is rape. Many of you are so used to rape culture that you can’t even recognize when something is dangerous and problematic. Unwanted touching is problematic. If she removed his hands several times, and she said she PHYSICALLY REMOVED his hands, she did not express consent, and he was, YES, being a sexual predator.
    She called her sister to ask what she should do BECAUSE of rape culture. Women are made to believe that when they’re uncomfortable, they’re the problem; that the man isn’t really wrong, they are. She was uncertain of what to do because IT’S NEVER CLEAR WHAT TO DO IN THESE SITUATIONS. This is exactly how acquaintance rape happens. A woman is trying not to hurt his feelings, but he keeps persisting, even though she is expressing disinterest in him or his advances. People need to understand that getting a woman to have sex should not be convincing a disinterested woman to relent. That is rape. If a woman wants to have sex, she will have sex without needing to be coerced, especially after she’s already expressed disinterest. And you do not need a clear “NO” for it to be sexual assault. Things like moving away, moving your hands off of her body, making excuses to leave, etc… those are non-consenting actions, and persisting after that makes you a sexual predator.
    He also invited her out under false pretenses. She obviously was not expecting it to be a romantic endeavor. How is SHE the problem, because she had no interest in being sexual with this man?
    Nothing he did was okay. If she felt uncomfortable, he was wrong, and that’s the end of it. She obviously felt violated enough to cry and then to vomit.
    And those of you saying “how could she still want to vomit months later” or however long after it was; you’re so lucky to never have experienced a sexual assault. For some people, they will never get over it.
    Please, please people, EDUCATE YOURSELVES on rape, sexual assault, rape culture, and consent, because there seems to be a LOT of misunderstanding about what these things are, and about what makes someone a predator.

    • Fortuna88

      Kudos. I absolutely agree and appreciate your post. Reading what this girl went through reminded me of an almost identical date I had with an older C-list Canadian celebrity (seriously). I had a pit in my stomach while reading her account because I vividly remembered how freaked out such strong and physical advances I was getting from someone so much older. The age difference does factor into it because, while a girl can assume younger men will be brash and unpredictable in their advances, It’s unsettling and even scary when it’s coming from someone one would think knows better

      She is describing the relentless and seemingly oblivious behavior of a sexual predator. Mine ended up losing respect and credibility not long after my experience because he was caught hitting on and groping much much much younger girls who made the mistake of tweeting or telling him what fans the were. She was entitled to assume, gay or not, famous or not, that a relative stranger would treat her with enough respect to know she hadn’t consented to his advances by agreeing to meet up with him. No woman “deserves” to have her physical space (even the small of her back) violated by a man, just because she agreed to go out with him. She actually did say no to what he was doing (verbally and non-verbally) and it really wasn’t her fault that she was confused by the fact he ignored it.

      Her reaction, surprise and disgust at how she was treated was predictable. It’s what they rely on – putting a woman off-balance so unexpectedly that while she is trying to process what is happening or how to handle it, he can keep at her until she feels it’s too late to get away or like it’s her fault this is all happening. His behavior, unchecked, will accelerate just like the guy I knew. The fact that she wrote about it so cleverly and made light of it shouldn’t undermine her experience or cause her to be further victimized by the insensitive bashing from some of the posters here.

  • Nadine_L

    Yo twitter done blown up in Canada today:

    What I have learned about @jianghomeshi after months of investigation will be reported responsibly as soon as possible. Patience please.
    2:10 PM – 26 Oct 2014
    https://twitter.com/JesseBrown/status/526435684832509954

    Asked for clarification on Sunday, CBC communications director Chuck Thompson told Postmedia that information had recently recently come to management’s attention that “in CBC’s judgement, precludes us form continuing our relationship with Jian Ghomeshi.”
    http://o.canada.com/news/jian-ghomeshi-leaves-cbc-535141

    We can confirm Jian Ghomeshi will not host the #GillerPrize gala on November 10th. More news will be forthcoming as it becomes available.
    https://twitter.com/GillerPrize/status/526459472676257792

    Pub. on Sunday Oct. 26, 2014 (after Harper kept media busy with his fake Terrorist in Ottawa story) – The CBC is saddened to announce its relationship with Jian Ghomeshi has come to an end.
    http://www.newswire.ca/en/story/1434135/statement-by-cbc-regarding-jian-ghomeshi

    Pub. on Sunday Oct. 26, 2014 (after Harper kept media busy with his fake Terrorist in Ottawa story) – The CBC is saddened to announce its relationship with Jian Ghomeshi has come to an end.
    http://www.newswire.ca/en/story/1434135/statement-by-cbc-regarding-jian-ghomeshi

    Thanks for all the well wishes, you guys. I’m ok. Just taking some much needed personal time.
    5:47 PM – 24 Oct 2014
    https://twitter.com/jianghomeshi/status/525765630549819392

    -00-

  • Nadine_L

    http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/10/26/jian_ghomeshi_no_longer_with_cbc.html

    ………

    Dear everyone,
    I am writing today because I want you to be the first to know some news.
    This has been the hardest time of my life. I am reeling from the loss of my father. I am in deep personal pain and worried about my mom. And now my world has been rocked by so much more.
    Today, I was fired from the CBC.
    For almost 8 years I have been the host of a show I co-created on CBC called Q. It has been my pride and joy. My fantastic team on Q are super-talented and have helped build something beautiful.
    I have always operated on the principle of doing my best to maintain a dignity and a commitment to openness and truth, both on and off the air. I have conducted major interviews, supported Canadian talent, and spoken out loudly in my audio essays about ideas, issues, and my love for this country. All of that is available for anyone to hear or watch. I have known, of course, that not everyone always agrees with my opinions or my style, but I’ve never been anything but honest. I have doggedly defended the CBC and embraced public broadcasting. This is a brand I’ve been honoured to help grow.
    All this has now changed.
    Today I was fired from the company where I’ve been working for almost 14 years – stripped from my show, barred from the building and separated from my colleagues. I was given the choice to walk away quietly and to publicly suggest that this was my decision. But I am not going to do that. Because that would be untrue. Because I’ve been fired. And because I’ve done nothing wrong.
    I’ve been fired from the CBC because of the risk of my private sex life being made public as a result of a campaign of false allegations pursued by a jilted ex girlfriend and a freelance writer.
    As friends and family of mine, you are owed the truth.
    I have commenced legal proceedings against the CBC, what’s important to me is that you know what happened and why.
    Forgive me if what follows may be shocking to some.
    I have always been interested in a variety of activities in the bedroom but I only participate in sexual practices that are mutually agreed upon, consensual, and exciting for both partners.
    About two years ago I started seeing a woman in her late 20s. Our relationship was affectionate, casual and passionate. We saw each other on and off over the period of a year and began engaging in adventurous forms of sex that included role-play, dominance and submission. We discussed our interests at length before engaging in rough sex (forms of BDSM). We talked about using safe words and regularly checked in with each other about our comfort levels. She encouraged our role-play and often was the initiator. We joked about our relations being like a mild form of Fifty Shades of Grey or a story from Lynn Coady’s Giller-Prize winning book last year. I don’t wish to get into any more detail because it is truly not anyone’s business what two consenting adults do. I have never discussed my private life before. Sexual preferences are a human right.
    Despite a strong connection between us it became clear to me that our on-and-off dating was unlikely to grow into a larger relationship and I ended things in the beginning of this year. She was upset by this and sent me messages indicating her disappointment that I would not commit to more, and her anger that I was seeing others.
    After this, in the early spring there began a campaign of harassment, vengeance and demonization against me that would lead to months of anxiety.
    It came to light that a woman had begun anonymously reaching out to people that I had dated (via Facebook) to tell them she had been a victim of abusive relations with me. In other words, someone was reframing what had been an ongoing consensual relationship as something nefarious. I learned – through one of my friends who got in contact with this person – that someone had rifled through my phone on one occasion and taken down the names of any woman I had seemed to have been dating in recent years. This person had begun methodically contacting them to try to build a story against me. Increasingly, female friends and ex-girlfriends of mine told me about these attempts to smear me.
    Someone also began colluding with a freelance writer who was known not to be a fan of mine and, together, they set out to try to find corroborators to build a case to defame me. She found some sympathetic ears by painting herself as a victim and turned this into a campaign. The writer boldly started contacting my friends, acquaintances and even work colleagues – all of whom came to me to tell me this was happening and all of whom recognized it as a trumped up way to attack me and undermine my reputation. Everyone contacted would ask the same question, if I had engaged in non-consensual behavior why was the place to address this the media?
    The writer tried to peddle the story and, at one point, a major Canadian media publication did due diligence but never printed a story. One assumes they recognized these attempts to recast my sexual behaviour were fabrications. Still, the spectre of mud being flung onto the Internet where online outrage can demonize someone before facts can refute false allegations has been what I’ve had to live with.
    And this leads us to today and this moment. I’ve lived with the threat that this stuff would be thrown out there to defame me. And I would sue. But it would do the reputational damage to me it was intended to do (the ex has even tried to contact me to say that she now wishes to refute any of these categorically untrue allegations). But with me bringing it to light, in the coming days you will prospectively hear about how I engage in all kinds of unsavoury aggressive acts in the bedroom. And the implication may be made that this happens non-consensually. And that will be a lie. But it will be salacious gossip in a world driven by a hunger for “scandal”. And there will be those who choose to believe it and to hate me or to laugh at me. And there will be an attempt to pile on. And there will be the claim that there are a few women involved (those who colluded with my ex) in an attempt to show a “pattern of behaviour”. And it will be based in lies but damage will be done. But I am telling you this story in the hopes that the truth will, finally, conquer all.
    I have been open with the CBC about this since these categorically untrue allegations ramped up. I have never believed it was anyone’s business what I do in my private affairs but I wanted my bosses to be aware that this attempt to smear me was out there. CBC has been part of the team of friends and lawyers assembled to deal with this for months. On Thursday I voluntarily showed evidence that everything I have done has been consensual. I did this in good faith and because I know, as I have always known, that I have nothing to hide. This when the CBC decided to fire me.
    CBC execs confirmed that the information provided showed that there was consent. In fact, they later said to me and my team that there is no question in their minds that there has always been consent. They said they’re not concerned about the legal side. But then they said that this type of sexual behavior was unbecoming of a prominent host on the CBC. They said that I was being dismissed for “the risk of the perception that may come from a story that could come out.” To recap, I am being fired in my prime from the show I love and built and threw myself into for years because of what I do in my private life.
    Let me be the first to say that my tastes in the bedroom may not be palatable to some folks. They may be strange, enticing, weird, normal, or outright offensive to others. We all have our secret life. But that is my private life. That is my personal life. And no one, and certainly no employer, should have dominion over what people do consensually in their private life.
    And so, with no formal allegations, no formal complaints, no complaints, not one, to the HR department at the CBC (they told us they’d done a thorough check and were satisfied), and no charges, I have lost my job based on a campaign of vengeance. Two weeks after the death of my beautiful father I have been fired from the CBC because of what I do in my private life.
    I have loved the CBC. The Q team are the best group of people in the land. My colleagues and producers and on-air talent at the CBC are unparalleled in being some of the best in the business. I have always tried to be a good soldier and do a good job for my country. I am still in shock. But I am telling this story to you so the truth is heard. And to bring an end to the nightmare.

    https://www.facebook.com/jianghomeshi/posts/10152357063881750

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    25,283 people like this.

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  • siobhanangela2468

    I’ve been reading this site for a long time. And today, when CBC announced firing Jian Ghomeshi, it reminded me of having seen this posted here originally.

    CBC’s initial official statement definitely implied they chose to fire him. Later on, when I read that it was due to “false” sexual claims from a spurned ex-lover, I came to re-read this.

    I’m not sure if it was the same girl, or if he does this a lot – I live in Toronto, and have only heard of this instance. But that does not mean this is the only time something similar in nature to this took place.

    I think it’s deplorable that people would blame the victim. I agree, she could have been more assertive. But that doesn’t mean it is her FAULT. She was in an awkward situation, and probably never thought it would have progressed to the extreme that it did. It’s not like he picked up on her signs to stop. It’s not like she didn’t say stop. She did. And that’s more than enough for him to know to cut it out. She could have said more than stop, yes, but she said enough.

    This is disgusting. And word is he will be suing CBC for $50 million. If there are in fact stories and/or victims coming forward with rape allegations, he must be delusional to think he can’t be fired for that. That’s grounds for prison, not just being fired.

  • swede443

    From https://twitter.com/jianghomeshi/status/212729878573883393

    ‏@jianghomeshi “At “secret” #Metric show at Opera House right now. Man, their stage show looks/sounds BIG. Def ready for arenas with this new record. #yyz”

  • Nadine_L

    Over the past few months the Star has approached Ghomeshi with allegations from three young women, all about 20 years his junior, who say he was physically violent to them without their consent during sexual encounters or in the lead-up to sexual encounters.

    The three women interviewed by the Star allege that Ghomeshi physically attacked them on dates without consent. They allege he struck them with a closed fist or open hand; bit them; choked them until they almost passed out; covered their nose and mouth so that they had difficulty breathing; and that they were verbally abused during and after sex.

    A fourth woman, who worked at CBC, said Ghomeshi told her at work: “I want to hate f— you.”

    Early last summer, the Star began looking into allegations by young women of sexual abuse by Ghomeshi over the past two years. The Star conducted detailed interviews of the women, talking each woman several times. None of the women filed police complaints and none agreed to go on the record. The reasons given for not coming forward publicly include the fear that they would be sued or would be the object of Internet retaliation. (A woman who wrote an account of an encounter with a Canadian radio host believed to be Ghomeshi was subjected to vicious Internet attacks by online readers who said they were supporters of the host.)

    The Star had several detailed interviews with each of the three women, who said they experienced violence from Ghomeshi without consent, and with the former CBC employee, who complained of verbal and physical harassment in the workplace.

    The women now accusing Jian Ghomeshi of violence began as his fans. Two had very similar early experiences with him. After Ghomeshi met them at public events, which he had promoted on CBC Radio, he contacted them through Facebook and asked them on dates. They eagerly accepted.

    Each woman said she remembers Ghomeshi being initially sweet and flattering, then later suggesting or hinting at violent sex acts. When they failed to respond or expressed displeasure, they recalled Ghomeshi dismissing his remarks as “just fantasies,” reassuring them he wouldn’t ask them to do anything they weren’t comfortable with. The women deny that “safe words” were employed in the relationship.

    In one woman’s case, she visited Ghomeshi at his Toronto home and alleges as soon as she walked into his house he suddenly struck her hard with his open hand, then continued to hit her and choked her. The woman alleges Ghomeshi repeatedly beat her about the head and choked her.

    The Star’s interviews of the women were lengthy. The women, all educated and employed, said Ghomeshi’s actions shocked them.

    Another woman, who described a similar alleged attack, said that in the lead-up to their date Ghomeshi “warned me he would be aggressive.”

    “I thought this meant he would want to pull my hair and have rough sex. He reassured me that I wouldn’t be forced. (Later) he attacked me. Choked me. Hit me like I didn’t know men hit women. I submitted.”

    None of the women has contacted police. When asked why by the Star, the women cited several reasons including fears that a police report would expose their names and worries that their consent or acceptance of fantasy role-play discussions in text or other messages with Ghomeshi would be used against them as evidence of consent to actual violence.

    Only one of the alleged victims worked at the CBC. She never dated Ghomeshi. She alleges he approached her from behind and cupped her rear end in the Q studio, and that he quietly told her at a story meeting that he wanted to “hate f—” her.

    The woman said she complained about Ghomeshi’s behaviour to her union representative, who took the complaint to a Q producer. As the woman recalls, the producer asked her “what she could do to make this a less toxic workplace” for herself. No further action was taken by the CBC, and the woman left the broadcaster shortly thereafter.

    http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2014/10/26/cbc_fires_jian_ghomeshi_over_sex_allegations.html

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  • Nadine_L

    and more about the story from Canada’s Number One best and most widely circulated newspaper in Canada –> The Toronto Star, the only newspaper to read if you’re ever in Canada, they are the top, the best, the best, they broke the Rob Ford Crack Mayor story…

    http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/10/27/why_the_star_chose_to_publish_jian_ghomeshi_allegations.html

    ………………..

    CBC says the decision to cut ties with Ghomeshi was “not made without serious deliberation” and that it would contest a lawsuit if served with legal documents. It declined to comment on the Facebook post, citing the pending suit.

    The departure leaves a gaping hole in the broadcaster’s lineup. Ghomeshi was not only a force on radio but did TV appearances as well, and offered a dose of urbane cool to the often stodgy CBC.

    “Q,” which launched in 2007, is also broadcast on over 180 NPR/PRI stations and syndicated in the U.S. Julia Yager, a spokeswoman for PRI, said the radio broadcaster will “work with the CBC as they plan what is next for Q.”

    Ghomeshi has enjoyed a meteoric rise and publications like the New York Times and Toronto Life magazine have done lengthy profiles on him.

    http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/radio-host-jian-ghomeshi-speaks-out-about-cbc-dismissal-1.2071804

    ……………………….

    “Let me be the first to say that my tastes in the bedroom may not be palatable to some folks.”

    Ghomeshi said his smartphone is being “rifled through” so the names of former girlfriends could be contacted.

    “Increasingly, female friends and ex-girlfriends of mine told me about these attempts to smear me,” he wrote on his Facebook page.

    http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6296736/canadian-radio-host-jian-ghomeshi-fired-after-sexual-abuse-allegations-by-jilted-ex

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  • Nadine_L

    Watching Q debate: Do we live in a ‘rape culture’? http://www.cbc.ca/player/AudioMobile/Q/ID/2444114290/

    By Lauren Strapagiel
    Published: March 24, 2014

    How not to talk about rape culture, as demonstrated by Q with Jian Ghomeshi
    When can we stop debating and start fixing?

    On Monday’s edition of Q with Jian Ghomeshi on CBC Radio One, two women — Lise Gotell and Heather Macdonald — were invited to have a “debate” on rape culture. That the segment was called a “debate” should be the first clue to lower your expectations.

    “Let’s have women as well exercise responsibility if they don’t want to be victims of what is being characterized as sexual assault.”

    It was classic victim blaming and an unfortunate example of exactly what rape culture is.

    Gotell, who is the chair of the Department of Women’s and Gender Studies at the University of Alberta, sounded rightly astounded that Macdonald would take such a stance.

    http://o.canada.com/news/how-not-to-talk-about-rape-culture-as-demonstrated-q-with-jian-ghomeshi

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  • Bamadex

    Jian should have tried harder with Jake. The whole situation might have had a happier ending for all.

  • rosegold

    Well I knew this one was getting solved :/
    Glad he’s fired

  • Red Velvet

    Please note that the Facebook post was written by a highly-paid PR firm, and is his attempt to get out in front of the story and control the narrative. It is not simply “his side.” It is calculated to make him look as good as possible under the circumstances, and his accusers as bad as possible.

  • Nadine_L

    A Toronto employment lawyer says the Jian Ghomeshi legal suit against the CBC for $50-million is a non-starter. Howard Levitt said Ghomeshi has no recourse in the courts after the public broadcaster fired the well known personality.

    “He knows, and his lawyers know, that the case isn’t worth $50-million, or $1-million, or $500, or even $1, because you can’t sue civilly if you’re a member of a collective bargaining unit.

    http://www.zoomerradio.ca/…/jian-ghomeshi-admits-rough…

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  • Nadine_L

    I was challenged by a friend to say something about the recent allegations against Jian Ghomeshi.

    Jian is my friend. I have appeared twice on Q. But there is no grey area here. Three women have been beaten by Jian Ghomeshi.

    I have sat with Jian over drinks and discussed our respective anxiety disorders. We have been photographed hugging on camera.

    Just ten days ago, I helped him find musicians for his father’s funeral. Three women have said that Jian beat them without their consent.

    “We will never really know what happened.” Yes we do. Jian beat, at the very least, three women. Three women said so. “They were jilted exes.” Maybe so. They were beaten by Jian.

    “They were freelance writers looking to get ahead.” Three women were beaten by Jian Ghomeshi.

    At no point here will I ever give my friend Jian’s version of the truth more creedence than the version of the truth offered up by three women. Anonymity does not mean these women do not exist.

    “They were engaged in BDSM role-play.” This: this is something I need to talk about.

    The beauty of BDSM relationships is that the power is always in the hands of the sub. BDSM and choke play is a subversion of male violence.

    To hear that anybody has been abusing the BDSM power relationship for the purpose of engaging in non-consensual violence-against-women is horrifying.

    That is not the point of BDSM. BDSM is in fact about the exact opposite thing. It is about repurposing acts of violence into creating a power dynamic of fucking EQUALITY.

    As for the rest. I have seen my Facebook feed littered with comments about how “for years we’ve known Jian to be a shady character.”

    I too have heard endless rumours that he’s been a bad date, and have heard stories of shadiness and strange behaviour.

    I have heard about his ridiculous pick-up lines and have (to my shame) tittered about them with my friends. But I have never heard, until today, that Jian Ghomeshi beats women.

    I am skeptical of arts reporting. I am skeptical of Canadian journalism. I am sensitive toward shaming of people who are so-called sexual deviants.

    But let’s be clear. Whether the court decides that predatory men are punished or exonerated does not silence the voices of the victims. It does not make victims liars.

    Whether our culture continues to celebrate the works of predatory men is another issue. It does not silence the voices of the victims.

    Jian Ghomeshi is my friend, and Jian Ghomeshi beats women. How our friendship will continue remains to be seen.

  • Nadine_L

    By: Kevin Donovan and Jesse Brown Staff Reporter and Special to the Star, Published on Wed Oct 29 2014

    Eight women from across Canada now accuse former CBC host Jian Ghomeshi of abusive behaviour ranging from allegations of beating and choking without consent, to workplace sexual harassment.

    The allegations the Star is probing range from 2002 to the present.

    One of the women, popular Canadian television actor Lucy DeCoutere, has agreed to be identified. DeCoutere, who plays Lucy on Trailer Park Boys , recalls an incident in 2003 when she alleges Ghomeshi, without warning or consent, choked her to the point she could not breathe and then slapped her hard three times on the side of her head.

    http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2014/10/29/jian_ghomeshi_8_women_accuse_former_cbc_host_of_violence_sexual_abuse_or_harassment.html

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  • Nadine_L

    Steve V @FarAndWide 19m19 minutes ago
    So the PR firm Navigator is dumping #JianGhomeshi because of bad PR now.

    Andrea Houston @dreahouston 26m26 minutes ago
    So, #JianGhomeshi’s new PR firm is @rockitpromo, which seems to be totally cool with accepting money from a sexual predator. @_Confessor

    InfoAlerteBot @InfoAlerteBot 19m19 minutes ago
    WHERE DOES NAVIGATOR GO WHEN THEY NEED CRISIS PR?

    FuzzyWuzzy @_Confessor 19m19 minutes ago
    Navigator’s home page is full of off-air video from…CBC. So, you better believe the CBC saw a conflict and demanded Navigator dump Jian.

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