The One Can Give Her A Shortcut To Skinny

couple holding hands 7SOLVED!

[Lainey Gossip] After a series of sh*tty relationships, she thought she’d finally found the one.

He says the right things, he wants to be with her all the time, he isn’t embarrassed to be seen with her. And he’s not motivated to do much other than to be with her. Life is not particularly challenging for either of them…but every man needs his down time. Or, in his case, his down down time.

What does he do with his down, down time?

Not sure…exactly.

But you can smell it. You can always smell it from his office. So there’s one blend for when he needs to relax and then something else when he needs a hit of excitement. Which might explain why there are small mirrors on his desk with powdery white residue. Do they do it together? Surely not now, in her condition. But maybe later for a shortcut to skinny.


Her condition:


jessica simpson eric johnson 6SOLVED!

She: Jessica Simpson

Her condition: Jessica Simpson is in her 11th month of pregnancy

He: Eric Johnson

Lainey doesn’t actually solve her blind items, but she does occasionally hint around. In a recent article about Liev Schriber and Naomi Watt’s relationship, she casually mentions another couple where the work is not equitably shared. From Lainey Gossip:

“Before you start on Liev and Porny Simpson’s freeloader — he’s exaggerating. Liev took on at least a project every year since he and Naomi have been together, including a job in television on CSI. And he’s practically the unofficial voice of sports for ESPN and HBO. So it’s not like he sits around smoking weed all day, ahem.”

Jessica Simpson works hard for a living! She sings, she acts, she runs a multi-million dollar fashion line, she appears on Fashion Star, she is going to drop a baby any minute now, and then she is going to resume her gig as a spokesperson for Weight Watchers.

Eric Johnson, on the other hand, doesn’t appear to have had a job since he played pro football back in 2008. What does he do now? Anybody? Anybody? Pass the bong, Dude.

Congratulations to everyone who got this one right! Virgo826 was first!

jessica simpson eric johnson 5


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    • xyz says


      I don’t agree with everyone saying this is KIM/KANYE.
      There have been SO many rumors that he’s regretting the relationship because being with a Kardashian in bad for his “serious artist” image, plus they are hardly ever together (he’s been in Paris most of her pregnancy).

      Although Kim’s had some shitty relationships, Jessica has had more noticeable ones (John Mayer especially, also Tony Romo).

      “he’s not motivated to do much other than to be with her.” Eric doesn’t have a job as far as I know/heard.

      “Life is not particularly challenging for either of them” Points to Jessica’s “dumb blonde-ness”.

      • ValleyOfTheGalls says

        I agree with you xyz. Kanye is rarely with Kim and he’s obviously embarrassed. Being a drunken clown at award shows doesn’t embarrass him, but, his girlfriends baby-bump does. Nice guy. Although, I can’t fault him for looking embarrassed at the Met Ball. Kim looked like a float in the Rose Bowl Parade. She shouldn’t have let his boyfriend get revenge by dressing her.

      • CapnZebbie says

        I agree with this. I think Kim’s bad relationships have been bad because Kim is in them. Jessica’s bad relationships have been bad because she dates douches.

  1. KatarinaJ says

    Okay so if this is Kanye and Kim (he isn’t afraid to be seen w her in spite of her reputation) she isn’t in a position to do blow because she is pregnant but may afterwards…. etc, so if this IS them, are we to understand Kim doesn’t KNOW he is gay… or he says he is not and partakes of men as a side activity? This is what this seems to be saying. He has to like her somewhat then?

    But K doesn’t want to be with her all the time right now… right the ‘down time’ with rumors of his designer boyfriend and wanting to be in Paris. He doesn’t show on the Kardashians, not in promo shots, etc.
    If not, would you say Jennifer Aniston who was rumored to be pregnant now? She doesn’t look big though. Jessica Simpson? Known for bad relationships?

  2. kookywooky says

    She: Jessica Simpson or Kim Kardashian

    Her condition: Pregnant

    He: Eric Johnson or Kanye West

    • Booboo1068 says

      Agree with Jessica as the blind seems to be referring to a female celeb who is currently heavier than usual and will look to get skinny…soon. Plus Eric was the top guess for a BI a while ago about his constant drinking and possibly sleeping with Jessica’s sister…nice. I feel for Jess if this and or the other blind is about her baby daddy.

      Kim and Kanye? Blind notes he says all the right thing and wants to be with her ALL THE TIME? This really doesn’t fit Kanye since he’s making more headlines for NOT spending time with her and being in Paris (with his designer boyfriend?).

  3. randijane says

    She: Jessica Simpson
    Her condition: Pregnant
    He: Eric Johnson

    He’s not currently or has not worked since their relationship began so he has plenty of down time so it seems plausible that he would start looking to drugs for a way to spice up his life a bit. “Shortcut to skinny” relates to Jessica’s weight struggles – both pre and post pregnancy.

      • KitKat73 says

        “The One” could be a clue from Friends. All there episodes names started with “The One…”

    • DonnaStarla says

      Good point! Like a lot of people, I was thinking Jessica Simpson, but this makes sense. I’m not sure that I can picture Eric Johnson having an “office”…but Theroux is a screenwriter and executive producer. Also, interviews with Brad Pitt as of late allude to him being on drugs while married to Jennifer Aniston, so who knows if she partakes? Also, as another blinder mentioned, the “Friends” episodes started with “The One.”

  4. WaitLemmeGuess says

    She: Kim K

    Her condition: pregnancy

    He: Kanye

    And the down down time activity is sleeping with that Tischi guy.

  5. pitbull says

    She: Jen Aniston
    condition : Pregnant
    He : Justin Theroux, actor, screenwriter, and director

  6. vizslamommy says

    This has got to be about Jessica Simpson and her leech. Because she’s pregnant…

  7. PrettyTarheel says

    She: Jessica Simpson
    Her condition: Pregnancy
    He: Eric Johnson

    Sooooo obvious.

    • Booboo1068 says

      Um, how? Why would Taylor be looking to get skinny fast and who is the new man who is seen with her all the time?

  8. scarlettone says

    Jessica Simpson and her fiance Eric. That would explain why the guy always looks so disheveled and rough. I figured he must be very depressed or have a drug habit.

  9. itismeme says

    Jessica Simpson
    Her fiancé who played football at some point in his “career”

    I don’t particularly care about JSimp other than to say I hope she has a happy life, but I hope this isn’t true. The mom of to itty bitties does not need to get hooked on drugs, especially just to try and get skinny. Girl, you’ve got a brand that is making big bucks. You never have to sing or “act” again. Enjoy your kids, keep hiring people to make good business decisions for you and just be happy!!

  10. Red Velvet says

    Does “sh*tty” point directly to John Mayer and “shortcut to skinny” to Weight Watchers? Then I’ll say Jessica Simpson, eleventy months pregnant, and Eric “I’m just here for the money” Johnson.

  11. tapiocaspy says

    Obvs Jessica Simpson. Lainey often said John Mayer was embarrassed to be seen with her. And, she has the weight watchers thing ready to go after baby.

  12. victoria says

    Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson? Her condition being that she’s currently preggers. Shorcut to skinny referencing her Weight Watchers deal.

  13. rorythedragon says

    Could this be Kim K., pregnant, and Kanye West? The clues being “down down” as in down low as in his relationship with the designer in Paris, her past relationships, which could be described as sh*tty, no particular challenges and her undoubtedly huge desire to be thin again as this baby is packing the pounds on her like…well, like a normal woman!

    • ILoveLucy says

      She was my 1st guess too! Then I realized its probably someone pregnant that will want to get skinny after. Kelly isn’t fat or preg at this time. She has had shitty luck with dudes tho!

  14. Labellavita says

    Jessica Simpson.
    For some reason this reminded me of how all her relationships just seemed to have stunk. The men she has dated are pigs. FOR EXAMPLE. JOHN MAYER.
    Also she is pregnant again, so “her condition..” That would make sense.
    The icing?
    She struggles with her weight publicly, so we all know that this may be the only way she thinks she could possibly lose weight.

  15. cierra567 says

    Demi Lovato & Wilmer Valderrama? Her condition being her previous drug addiction & eating disorder

    • iPanderr says

      They’re never seen together, so it’s not them. The blind says he’s not afraid to be seen with her.

  16. daisy12 says

    Jessica Simpson, Pregnant, Eric Johnson

    But I honestly can’t imagine him having an office for anything… he doesn’t seem like he does much working

    • lepidoteran says

      That’s the thing. The guy in the BI doesn’t do much working/ anything – doesn’t keep him from having an office though. That would fit Eric “Does He Have a Job” Johnson.

      That’s why others’ Kanye guesses don’t make sense. He’s been promoting his album – he *does* have motivation and work to do. He spends time very visibly not working, but his career is very much alive.

    • ILoveLucy says

      Office=man cave with a desk for his phone charger? Cuz sometimes doesn’t Jess just wanna NOt see him? I’m just sayin.

    • LaleFig says

      Daisy, I love that you negate Eric Johnson the office. It made me laugh. I feel like the couch and the toilet are pretty much all he needs to conduct the “business” in his life. Besides impregnating his boss, that is.

  17. mmac says

    Jessica Simpson, pregnant, her husband Eric.

    Lainey would never write a blind about Kim K – she doesn’t care.

  18. chandler02 says

    It could be Jessica Simpson as others have mentioned because of the clues about how he isn’t embarassed to be seen with her and he doesn’t have much else going on.

    To play devil’s advocate, I am going to take another guess just to stir things up a bit!

    Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan?

  19. LeahLynn28 says

    Well…or she is Jessica Simpson and her unemployed guy,or Halle Berry and her violent man.and both are pregnant.
    But can’t be the Kartrashian and Kanye.He can’t even pretend he likes her anymore and now is hiding from the media.And now seems to start to be embarassed by being seen with her.

  20. buckeye58 says

    I actually think this is Cameron Diaz and Elon Musk. She’s had 2 posts about them recently, and one mentioning that maybe there will be a little one on the way soon.

  21. stonn says

    She: Jessica Simpson
    Her condition: she’s preggo with 2nd baby
    He: Eric Johnson, her fiancé.
    “Down down”: WEED
    “Something else when he needs excitement: Maybe weed with a bit of cocaine? Or just plain cocaine, no weed.
    This might explain why she still has yet to marry him. Also, Jess has a history of sh*tty relationships (ex. John Mayer and Tony Romo, both of whom were said to be embarrassed to be seen with her).

  22. gaelgorham says

    The future King and Queen of England. Our generation is doomed, I tell ya.

  23. essie r says

    This is Jessica Simpson. Kanye may be a lot of things but he’s never with Kim and is very motivated.

  24. amelia says

    I thought Britney and her new BF David Lucado. He is spending time with her. I was thinking she could be pregnant again… But, she doesn’t look fat right now.

    • LeahLynn28 says

      Can’t be Britney.He is being paid by her father to be seen with her and their “relationship” is clearly fake,just like the last one.He’s only her new babysitter…

  25. ZippityDooDah says

    This is Jessica Simpson.

    She might not be partaking right now because she’s pregnant. But let’s not forget there’s a young child in a home where pot smoke is coming from one of the rooms? Not to mention a father who’s drugged up a lot of the time? How sad for that child and also for his future son.

  26. kermit1969 says

    She: Angelina

    Condition: recovering from double mastectomy (and that’s just the surgery we know about)

    He: Brad Pitt

  27. quebitch says

    Kate Winslet?!?!?!? What does Rocknroll do anyway??
    Kate winslet is pregnant

  28. mrsdarcy says

    Jennifer Love Hewitt and her new fiancé Ben Hallisday or whatever his name is? US just announced they’re engaged and expecting.

  29. hereiam says

    I agree with the Jessica and Eric comments, but i’m confused about what they may be doing. “Powdery white residue” is obviously cocaine, but I don’t get how you’d be able to smell it…I wouldn’t know though. Would they be doing marijuana too?

    • PandoraWolf says

      You can smell coke when you smoke it. Or meth. Both leave powdery white residue. This would make me think more about the “mancave” since if your housekeeper smelled it, they might keep their mouth shut, but if you were in an office building, SOMEONE would bust you, even secretly, if they had to walk around sniffing second hand cokesmoke all day.

      I don’t give a hoot about Jessica or Eric (or whoever it is), but I DO give a hoot about a child being exposed to it. If some celebrity wants to ruin their life, great (leads to awesome blinds, duh!) Just don’t f*** up you kid (more than a celebrity lifestyle might automatically do so).

  30. LaleFig says

    Now that Kim Zol…yak is preg, I’d want to throw her into the mix. But I doubt that a baby’s health or well-being would preclude her from trying something to get skinny, since I just saw pics of her with pop and cigs.

  31. NeedNoStinkinBadges says

    hi Ace,
    I think Lainey revealed this today in a post about Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts. Lainey says “Before you start on Liev and Porny Simpson’s freeloader — he’s exaggerating. Liev took on at least a project every year since he and Naomi have been together, including a job in television on CSI. And he’s practically the unofficial voice of sports for ESPN and HBO. So it’s not like he sits around smoking weed all day, ahem.”

    Here is the link to the post from which I pulled the quote:

  32. Virgo826 says

    Wow! My first number one!! I beat Meryl! I’d just like to thank Ace and BG for all the gossip tudeledge over the past 2 years! Without their constant effort to give us the juiciest gossip in the most entertaining ways I truly wouldn’t be here 😉

  33. Catharsis says

    Sad to see a woman selling herself short. She deserves better than this loser. I wonder why she settled for him.

  34. guestimation says

    It’s “tutelage”…. 😉 Congrats on the good guessing! I’m still really bad at this, hence the irony of my username!

  35. meowmeow says

    He does look like a baby daddy and a bit of a dufus, but look at those hands! Wow! Even though the theory is not sound, I’d still say that she selected a fine stud.