Smackdown At The Coffee Bean

coffee bean 2[Blind Gossip] This story involves three celebrities in an awkward encounter.

Earlier this week, Celeb 1 was sitting in a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Hollywood, drinking his morning coffee and working on his computer. Celeb 1 is a long-haired standup actor/comedian who is known simply by one name. He’s done a bunch of films and has had many guest roles on TV shows.

At another table was Celeb 2, an actor/comedian who has done many films and TV, and who has had a couple of standup specials on Comedy Central. You may know him best as the comedian who got booed on stage when he toured with a very famous actor who had a meltdown a couple of years ago.

In walked Celeb 3, an actor/comedian who peaked in popularity when he starred in a number of films in the 90’s. He is certainly the best known of the three comedians.

Celeb 3 went over to sit with Celeb 2. On the way over, he waved and called out to Celeb 1: “Hey Bro!”

Well, Celeb 1 is no fan of Celeb 3. Last year, Celeb 3 had spread false rumors about Celeb 1 being a drug dealer, and Celeb 1 lost a bunch of gigs a a result.

Celeb 1 went ballistic. “Hey f*ck you, you f*cking assholel! You tried to get me banned from The Comedy Store, and you told people that I’m a drug dealer! F*ck you! I lost work because of your lies! You took food out my kids’ mouths! Don’t you f*cking ‘Hey, Bro’ me! I’m not your f*cking Bro! Don’t you dare talk to me! Don’t you even f*cking look at me!”

Celeb 3 was stunned but had no comeback. He looked down uncomfortably at the floor, mumbled something to Celeb 2, and walked away.

Celeb 1 couldn’t help but throw one last taunt at him: “Yeah, you’d better run, you f*cking weasel! Why don’t you run back to Mommy? She’s the only reason you’re still working in this town!”

Half the patrons in the coffee shop were stunned by the encounter, while the other half giggled over having witnessed a great verbal smackdown.

Celeb 1:

Celeb 2:

Meltdown Actor:

Celeb 3:

Celeb 3’s Mommy:

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  1. omega10 says

    Celeb 1: Gallagher
    Celeb 3: Paulie Shore-Weasel is the clue and his mom owns the Comedy Store

    Blanking on Celeb 2 and Meltdown actor.

    • ILoveLucy says

      Paulie Shore is the Weasel, his mom does own The Comedy Store. He is known to say Hey bro. But I thought Gallagher retired from stand up after heart surgery? I just can’t imagine who the lesser known celebs are, working at ther comps in a coffee shop. Isn’t that how Perez Hilton got his start? Seems lame to me. Don’t they have internet at home? Wow.

  2. appletartin says

    Carrot Top
    Jeffrey Ross
    Charlie Sheen
    Pauly Shore
    Mitzy Shore

    Jeffrey Ross is a God!

    • luvprue1 says

      I think you might be right.

      Celeb 1 Carrot Top

      Celeb 2 is Jeffrey Ross ( he funny as hell) who tour with Charlie Sheen

      Celeb 3 . Pauly Shore . His mom own the comedy store.

  3. jmk says

    #3 is Pauly Shore, and his mommy is Mitzi Shore, founder of the Comedy Store. Not sure about the rest.

  4. I Am PunkA says

    Celeb 3 is Pauly Shore. His mom runs the Comedy Store and he fits the 90’s thing perfect. Plus “hey bro” sounds like Pauly too.

  5. monichica says

    Celeb 2 for sure is Kirk Fox. He was the opening act for Charlie Sheen when he got booed in Detroit.

    • parry says

      I was thinking Jeffrey Ross for #2 but you’re right Kirk Fox got booed off stage with Charlie Sheen, even though both toured. Just read Pauly shore made big racist rant against black comics especially Katt Williams & Charlie Murphy. My best guess|
      #1 Katt Williams
      #2 Kirk Fox
      Celeb. : Sheen
      #3 That Worm Pauly Shore

  6. chiles says

    Meltdown actor is Charlie Sheen. Celeb 3 is Pauly Shore. His mom owns The Comedy Store.

    Hey BG, I think this is my first post. :)

    • ginnynotjenny says

      You’re on point with Pauly Shore. But it says Celeb 3 is the most famous. Pauly Shore is not more famous than Charlie Sheen. I don’t know the other two…

      • chiles says

        I agree, Charlie Sheen is definitely more famous than Pauly Shore, but the blind says Celeb 3 is “the best known of the three comedians”. So, I took that to mean that he was the most famous of the three comedians, not the most famous of all the people involved. That would exclude the Meltdown Actor from the list of who’s most famous. I’m still unsure about Celeb 1 and Celeb 2.

  7. kookywooky says

    Celeb 1: Bobcat? Who, now does not really have long hair, or any hair…

    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox?

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Paul Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  8. Kerzep says

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3’s mom: Mitzi Shore (who owns/owned the Comedy Store)

    Only one-named comedian I can think of is Sinbad (but that doesn’t make much sense to me)

    That’s all I got

  9. slimfast10 says

    Celeb 1 — Gallagher

    Not sure of celeb 2

    Meltdown actor of course,, Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3. Paulie Shore

    Celeb 3s mom Mitzi Shore

  10. pinky says

    So I’m guessing Pauly Shore for number 3, based on the mom comment (doesn’t she run the comedy store?) and the other comedian calling him a weasel (wasn’t that part of his shtick?)

  11. ughughugh says

    3 is Pauly Shore..his mom ran the comedy store (? I think thats what its called) Don’t know the other two

  12. auntmidgee says

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    His Mom: Mitzi Shore who founded the Comedy Store

    Don’t know the other ones. I leave that to the BG experts…

  13. BumBum says

    Is celeb 2: Dave Chappelle?
    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen?

    I would have loved to be there 😉

  14. irishmarty says

    celeb 1: Galagher
    celeb 2: ?
    meltdown actor: charlie sheen
    celeb 3: pauley shore
    celbe3’s mommy: pauley shore’s Mom who owns the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

  15. onebyone says

    I was thinking Jim Carrey for celeb 3 until the bit about his mother being the only reason he still gets work. His parents are dead, and weren’t celebs.

  16. guesswhat says

    I say celeb 3 is Pauly Shore whose mother Mitzi Shore is or was owner of The Comedy Store.

  17. redstilettos says

    I’m going with Pauly Shore as celeb 3 since his mom owns The Comedy Store and he goes by the Weasel.

  18. FairyMay9 says

    This is a really good one! I think Celeb 2 is Kirk Fox and that the Meltdown Actor is Charlie Sheen. But I’m really blanking on Celeb 1 and Celeb 2. Hmm …

  19. RedGirl77 says

    I’m not sure about #1 But
    Comedian #2 is Kirk Fox
    Meltdown Actor – Charlie Sheen
    and maaaaaybee
    Celeb #3 is Pauly Shore? His mom, Mitzi owns the Comedy Store.

  20. PrincessSparkle says

    I have no idea, but in my head I picture it as Celeb 1 as Gruber (Dave Allen)

  21. CoryD says

    Celeb #1 – don’t know
    Celeb #2 – Kirk Fox
    Meltdown Actor – Charlie Sheen
    Celeb #3 – Pauly Shore
    Celeb #3’s Mommy – Mitzi Shore, Owner of the Improv

  22. jenmh says

    I think I have everything but celeb 3 and his mother.

    Celeb 1 – Mankind. Former pro-wrestler (thus the Smackdown clue) who has long hair and is now a stand up comedian.

    Celeb 2 – Kirk Fox.

    Meltdown celeb – Charlie Sheen. Toured with Kirk Fox, who got booed offstage in Detroit.

    • monkeyshow says

      I don’t think Mankind is right. Mick Foley was VERY good with his money (which he talks about in his New York Times bestselling books) and seems to be doing comedy just for the fun of it (and as Mick Foley, not as Mankind). He’s also well-documented to be a very nice and normal guy, and doesn’t seem to be the type to freak out on anyone. My hubby is a wrestler, and Foley is his hero – in large part because he has always been so nice to everyone when he really didn’t have to be. If you hear interviews with Gallagher, it fits much better; “smackdown” could also be referring to the bit with him and the watermelon and the hammer.

      • Syd Wishes says

        Mankind was an occasional color commentator for the SmackDown brand according to Wikipedia. Smackdown is used two times here: once in title and once in blind.

        Everyone has a temper. Being slandered would get my dander up, and I’m a chick.

  23. Buffysoapaddict says

    Celeb 1: Jason Bateman

    Celeb 2: Katt Williams??

    I remember he decided to have a comedy duel with Steve Harvey and Got booed off the stage.

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

    She’s owned the Comedy Store since 1973.

    I’m sorry but I have no clue and I’m stumped. :(

    • jmk says

      Jason Bateman as a long-haired stand up comedian, and possible drug dealer? I don’t see this.

  24. JeanRalphio says

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore who owned or ran a comedy club

    Don’t know who the other two are though.

  25. blueelephants says

    I know #3 Is Pauly Shore. His mom owns the Comedy Store and he was known as Weasel in one of his movies. Don’t know the other two.

  26. chandler02 says

    Celeb 1: ?

    Celeb 2: ?

    Meltdown Actor: ?

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Pauly’s Mom, Mitzi Shore, who founded The Comedy Store

  27. hthurtle1 says

    Celeb 1: Gallagher??
    Celeb 2: John Witherspoon?
    Meltdown Actor: Katt Williams
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  28. smellyoulater says

    1) Gallagher? After listening to Mark Maron’s interview with him, I’m convinced he’s a PSYCHOPATH.

    2) Kirk Fox? He opened for Charlie Sheen on the Warlock’s ill-fated Torpedo of Truth (or whatever) tour.

    3) DEFINITELY Pauly “The Weasel” Shore. His mommy owns The Comedy Store, if I’m not mistaken.

    GOOD ONE, Ace. The comedy nerds among us thank you for this blind! :-)

  29. Jellama says

    I have no idea for Celeb 1 and Celeb 3. Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen, Celeb #2: Kirk Fox

  30. Juniper says

    Celeb 1: Scott Thompson aka Carrot Top
    Celeb 2: not sure yet
    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson… not sure
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore, nickname The Weasel
    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore, owner of The Comedy Store

  31. julietjas says

    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox, opened for Charlie Sheen’s tour
    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore, nickname is “the weasel”
    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore, owns The Comedy Store (where 2 tried to get 1 banned)

    But no idea who Celeb 1 is! One-name comedian? Ferecito? (I’m jus’ keeding!)

  32. creeping_thistle says

    Meltdown Actor is Charlie Sheen (Torpedo of Truth tour, 2011), and Celeb 2 is the comedian who opened his gigs and was booed off stage, though I didn’t find his name anywhere; it should be easy to find for people who know the stand-up scene well.

  33. super sleuth says

    I am confident that Celeb 3 is Pauly Shore because his mom, Mitzi Shore founded and owns The Comedy Store in LA. Also, he was known as “The Weasel” back in the 90s. I’m still working on figuring out the rest.

  34. JumpingtheSnark says

    Celeb 1: Penn (Jillette)

    Celeb 2: Jeff Ross

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

    • PandoraWolf says

      THIS. I think if Penn started yelling at me like that, I’d slink away before I got my a** kicked, too. He’s a freaking giant!

      Also I see guesses of Gallagher (one kid, so doesn’t fit) and CarrotTop (no kids??) Penn has two kids, and is apparently for total legalization of drugs….

      I think you won this one!

      • Ati2d9 says

        So jt wouldbe

        Celeb #1: Penn Jillette
        Celeb. #2: Kirk Fox
        Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen
        Celeb #3: Pauly Shore
        Celeb #3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  35. EmmetOtter says

    I have no idea who number 1 is, but 3 is certainly Pauly “Weasel” Shore (mother is Mitzi Shore of Comedy Store fame). Number 2 is whoever toured with Charlie Sheen (meltdown actor).

  36. shelaur22 says

    I think Celeb 3 must be Pauly Shore because his mom founded The Comedy Store, and he was mainly famous in the 90s. His mom is Mitzi Shore. If he’s the most well-known of the three celebs, then I probably won’t know who the other two are.

  37. lboca says

    Celeb 1: ???

    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3’s mommy: Mitzi Shore, founder of The Comedy Store

  38. timmybeaverhausen says

    Celeb 1: the only long-haired, one-named comedian I can think of is Gallagher. Not sure. (and Carrot Top is two words)
    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox. Not so much a celeb but was the comedian booed during Charlie Sheen’s meltdown tour
    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore, founder of the Comedy Store.

  39. AKat says

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen. He took a show on tour after that. I don’t know who was touring with him though

  40. winona says

    Celeb 1: eliminated Ant, Earthquake and Sinbad, all one name comedians, but none with long hair. So still up in the air.
    Celeb 2: Obviously the actor with a meltdown referenced is Michael Richards, but I have no idea who was on the lineup that night.
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore is the only guy I can think of whose Mommy is powerful enough to keep him working, at least a little, and fits the bill – he’s also douchey enough to make stuff up and The Comedy Store was founded by his parents.

  41. Bromance1979 says

    Celeb 1: the only long-haired, one-named stand up comedian I can think of is Gallagher, but it’s not him due to the other clues. He stopped working due to ill health.

    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox, who was booed during his set on Charlie Sheen’s tour.

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Definitely Pauly Shore, because of the reference to his “mommy”, who owns the Comedy Store.

    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  42. LC_Says says

    I think 1 is Burger and 3 is pauly shore, not sure who opened for Charlie sheen though for 2.

  43. torypm says

    Celeb 3 is definitely Pauly Shore. If he’s the most well-known of the three, then 1 and 2 have to be pretty obscure. His mom owned a comedy club in Vegas (?) I think.

  44. MamaJunesneckrolls says

    Celeb 2 – whoever toured with Charlie Sheen, was booed off the stage
    Actor — Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3 – Pauly Shore
    Celeb’s Mom – MItzi Shore.. owns the comedy store or Laugh Factory on Sunset Blvd.

  45. kkmw says

    Hi Ace – I’m a first time poster and I love love love your site!!!

    Celeb 1 – Gallagher

    Celeb 2 – not sure

    Celeb 3 – Pauly Shore whose mom owns a comedy club

  46. QubbuQ says

    Could this be the start of a new joke meme? ‘Three comedians walk into a coffee shop…’

    I think comedian #3, Momma’s boy who was popular in the 90’s is Pauly Shore. His mother founded The Comedy Store and his father was/is a comedian. He got his start in that club. He had some good stuff in the 90’s and that’s about it for him. Plus “Hey Bro” sounds like something he’d say.

    Comedian #1 with the single name- I can only two I can think of with one name. Sinbad – no hair.
    AND… Gallagher – Long hair but only 2 acting credits on IMDb- mind you, he’s got several of his own TV movies listed and he used to perform at The Comedy Store. I know I saw him guest star as himself on The Facts of Life way back when and I don’t see that listed on his IMDb profile, so maybe there are others not listed.

    Comedian #2 seems like it should be so simple to figure out, but I’ve got nothing.

  47. MissSichuan says

    Celeb 3 is Pauly Shore. His mother is Mitzi Shore, who founded The Comedy Store.

  48. EmCat says

    Celeb 1 – Mankind (Mick Foley, and ex wrestler turned Actor/Stand up Comedian)
    Celeb 2 – Jeff Ross
    Meltdown Actor – Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3 + Mommy are difficult, not sure about that yet…

  49. CanaryCry says

    All I got:

    Celeb #3 is Pauly Shore. Mitzi is his mommy.

    The meltdown star has to be Charlie Sheen. I can’t recall who toured with him – Dane Cook or Jeremy Piven?

  50. witchmagpie says

    Celeb 1: Don’t know
    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox
    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3 mommy: Mitzi Shore

    It’s killing me that I cannot figure out Celeb 1. Seems like it should be an easy guess based on the clues!

  51. drakesavage50 says

    Okay so I’m going with this –

    Celeb 1 – Tommy Chong (Chong)

    Celeb 2 – Kirk Fox

    Meltdown Celeb – Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3 – Pauly Shore

    The drug dealer thing totally makes sense when you think of what Cheech and Chong are famous for. Not to mention the way Celeb 1 tore into Celeb 3 totally sounds like a stoner throwing a tantrum, man.

  52. Giraffic says

    Omfg I finally got one! #1 is Burger! The rest is Pauly and booed guy is the charlie sheen tour guy and Momma Shore! There was stuff all around the comedy store about Pauly talking crap about BURG. I remember hearing Pauly was telling people Burger was stealing the toliet paper! Toliet paper! Way to go Burger!

  53. KatarinaJ says

    How can the meltdown actor be Charlie Sheen? When did he ‘tour’ and get booed off stage? Sounds like a Michael Richards or Katt Williams type incident….

  54. cmac15 says

    Has “Jay” from “Jay and Silent Bob” done standup? He is the first person I thought of for #1.

  55. Carolina says

    Celeb 1: Mankind is the only long-haired one-named comedian I can think of. He has done a lot of films, but most of them are wrestling.

    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen obvs

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Mitzi Shore, who owns The Comedy Store

  56. Herkeda says

    Celeb 1: Carrot Top (does that count as one name)?

    Celeb 2: no idea

    Meltdown Actor: no idea

    Celeb 3: Ben Stiller

    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Anne Meara (Ben’s mother), a prominent actress/comedian in her heyday

    I do know that Ben hangs out at The Coffee Bean, although I’m sure plenty of other celebs do too.

  57. Jester says

    Celeb 1: Penn

    Celeb 2: Kirk Fox

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  58. Revisionist says

    OK… for one thing Gallager is like 100. I went to one of his shows in junior high….and Im like a 100. Second as far as I know he isnt known for movies and probably hasnt been on TV since the 80s. Would hardly call him an actor/.

  59. TheBinch says

    I think Penn (Jillette) makes sense for #1. Long hair, known by one name, outspoken, known not to use drugs and alcohol, and he is a fierce critic of the sort of looney ideas (global warming, among others) that celebrities love to latch onto in order to gain attention. I can see another comedian starting rumors about him.

  60. CapnZebbie says

    Celeb 1. Mankind–I decided it can’t be Gallagher because no movies or tv and can’t be Sinbad because no long hair. And besides, what he said sounds like a wrestling rant.

    Celeb 2. Kirk Fox
    Meltdown Actor Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3. Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3 Mommy. Mitzi Shore

  61. ggggbabybaby says

    Celeb 1 could be Penn but isn’t he primarily known as a magician? And he lives in Vegas, and while he guests on TV, I don’t think he does movies, and he mostly just does magic shows, or Penn & Teller’s various TV programs.

    • TheBinch says

      I think he’s been in quite a few films, as well as a bunch of television shows. He may be in L.A. for a project. I can definitely see him giving #3 both barrels over rumor-mongering.

  62. ImVioletsMama says

    I agree with the Pauly Shore and Gallagher guesses, and I’ll add Michael Richards for #2 guy.

  63. Alllie says

    1=David “Burger” Berger
    2=Kurt Fox
    3=Pauly Shore
    mommy=Mitzi Shore @ the comedy store

    I have not seen Burger in a few years but he popped into my head immediately as I was reading this! Hi Burger! good for you, wish you could get the security video and post that one! LOL

  64. glittercoke says

    Celeb 1: Penn

    Celeb 2: Kurt Fox

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  65. yeppers says

    This is confirmed:
    David “Burger” Berger
    Kirk Fox
    Pauly Shore and his mother, Mitzi

    Rock on, dude. Hundreds of comedians would have PAID to do what he did to that asshat.

  66. scumby says

    It’s Chong not Penn. Penn Jillette lives in Las Vegas and does not need gigs at the Comedy Store. Plus he is not an accused drug dealer

  67. meglee9479 says

    Celeb 1: “burger” (David Burger)
    Celeb 2: Jeffrey Ross
    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen
    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore
    Celeb 3’s Mommy: Mitzi Shore (Owner of Comedy Store)

  68. NoseyNana2008 says

    Celeb 1: David Burger aka “BURGER”

    Celeb 2: Kurt Fox

    Meltdown Actor: Charlie Sheen

    Celeb 3: Pauly Shore

    Celeb 3′s Mommy: Mitzi Shore

  69. wendy hood says

    Tommy Chongs kids are all in their 30s or older. Doesn’t quite match up with the part of the rant where he talks about food being taken out of his childrens mouths.

    According to imdb, Gallagher has had 3 heart attacks, the last of which put him into road retirement. He has declined multiple job offers…doubt its him.

    Penn Gillette has a massive amount of money, and is so well known I highly doubt anyone would cancel his gigs because of some drug dealer rumor. So, I have nothing for #1, but #3 is clearly Pauly Shore.

    • wendy hood says

      Eh, Im putting my vote in for Mankind (Mick Foley) for #1, given the wrestling references and his burgeoning comedy career.

  70. MysterySolved says

    Why are people posting the names of comedians who don’t fit ANY of the descriptions? It’s obvious to anyone in the comedy world who these three are.

    #1 is Burger.
    He’s a regular at the Comedy Store and looks like this:
    He has done a bunch of films, and had guest roles on TV shows. All your other guesses were way too famous or way too bald.

    #2 is Kirk Fox. He was booed off stage while opening for Charlie Sheen during that terrible tour.

    #3 is Pauly Shore. His mother owns the Comedy Store, and his nickname is “The Weasel.”