Real Life Ratatouille

ratatouille[The Morton Report] This goes back a few years but is still worth telling.

A well-known chef was most upset to find that rats had made a warm and comfortable home beneath his industrial-sized dishwasher. After much cursing, and amid fears of being shut down by public health authorities, our chef had the unwelcome rodents quietly removed by a company sworn to commercial secrecy. Mysteriously, the tale ended up as a blind item in a newspaper diary.

A few days later, the columnist was amazed to receive an irate, four-lettered phone call about the item … but it was from a different celebrity chef!

Well-known Chef:

Different Celebrity Chef:

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditShare on TumblrPin on Pinterest


  1. JenJenJen says

    I’m assuming with all the language, it’s Gordan Ramsey as the chef with the infestation. He famously doesn’t get on with Jamie Oliver, so I’d imagine Oliver might enjoy the retaliation of getting one over on Ramsey perhaps?

  2. Virgo826 says

    Hmmmm, Ratatouille is French, but The Morton Report is British, and BG is American, so could be just about anyone…no real clue, so I’ll guess,

    Well known: Jamie Oliver
    Potty Mouth: Gordon Ramsey

  3. nosecrets says

    hmmm.. the only well-known chef i know is Gordon Ramsey, so I guess that’s who I think it is

  4. callmedave says

    “After much cursing” points to Gordon Ramsey for the well-known chef, although I would say he was famous rather than well-known. Perhaps Marco Pierre White for the different celebrity chef?

    Or alternatively, perhaps Marco Pierre White and Jamie Oliver? They have a rivalry too…

    • ImWhatWillisWasTalkinBout says

      THIS ^^

      gordon ramsay was marco’s protege and Marco had a reputation 10 times worse than Gordon. So i can see Marco calling up the writer for his friend. (until Gordon stole his own restaurant’s reservation book and blamed it on Marco) and its so obvious that Gordon’s ‘bad boy’ schtick is a rip off of Marco’s who was the ULTIMATE bad boy chef. he even made Gordon Ramsay cry! HA!

  5. up2trouble says

    Well-known Chef: Mario Batali, I guessing him because recently he was suppossedly installing special alarms to alert staff to the inspectors [], so obviously he may have a history with public health authorities.

    Different Celebrity Chef: Scott Conant, for no other reason than he sticks me as shifty.

    • up2trouble says

      Oops, just realized this may be British. If so, going with:

      Well-known Chef: Jamie Oliver

      Different Celebrity Chef: Gordon “Four Lettered Mouth” Ramsay

  6. SanguineT says

    Well-known chef: Gordon Ramsay
    Different celebrity chef: Jamie Oliver
    (maaaaybe it’s the other way around since the four-lettered phone call is more like Gordo)

  7. travoltasbeard says

    Morton is a British site and I think these chef’s are brits.

    Chef: sssssuper ssssssspecial Jaime Oliver

    Foul Mouthed Chef: Gordon “Ranger’s Man so I swear a lot to look tough/ignorant” Ramsey