Black and White and Sweaty All Over

black-white-coupleEOnline – Prius Crotch-Catch is so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool in T-town: from always dating the hippest dude, to starring in the latest hit. She’s also politically aware! And she’s so full of enviable girl power, so pure! Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to be Prius! Oh, and even though PC-C’s fallen in love from time to time, lately, she’s been on her own—but now appears to be settling sweetly down again. Everyone’s breathing a sigh of belated relief. So fab that Prius has met her latest BF, a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and shocking past, which includes: Many, many cocaine-powered nights of hot, endless and very loud sex that white chick Prius just stopped having with Wally Wallup, an African-American dude who’s as studly as he is rich and infamous. No one knew Prius and Wally were dating—and they liked it that way, too, as they were wholly hooking up just for the wild nooky. Jeez, thought it was just the gays who went for the meaningless, sweaty hot sex, but what the ef do I know? Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams, snorts and clandestine meetings became so…well, vocal. Indeed, Mr. Wallup had to start posting his bodyguards outside their suite doors just to keep folks from breaking in and calling 911, or joining in, take your pick. Doesn’t matter anymore, as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged, far-less-athletic nooky partner. Won’t last. Uh-uh, no friggin’ wild-sex-starved way. Mark my snoopy (and wise) words. And It Aint: Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere.

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60 comments to Black and White and Sweaty All Over

  • queenofgossip

    Cameron Diaz and 50 Cent

  • soooooooo

    everyone knows cameron is a big meth face tramp..she aint foolin no one

  • Yan

    LOL to the Kristen Dunst guess.. sorry but who the heck would want to be like that hot mess?

    My guess is Cameron Diaz.. not that I like her any more than KD but she’s the one ppl would choose to be like over KD.

  • Liv

    Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman

  • penny

    girl power..makes me think of charlies angels. Cameron is the likely one..shes always trying to be political n stuff. Drew was my other guess.

  • sssssssssssss

    What about Kate Hudson?

  • Whitney G

    Cameron Diaz and P Diddy. Has to be. Although Cameron hasn’t been in a hit movie in a while, this IS Ted Casablancas, who probably thinks the “Charlie’s Angels” films are still relevant. Diaz started dating Paul Sculfor a few months ago, and before that was rumored to be involved with Diddy.

    Anne Hathaway is involved in a lot of charities; has had a string of popular movies over the past few years; and just started dating Adam Shulman in November. But I can’t find anything that says she drives a Prius.

    Other young(ish) unmarried actresses who drive Priuses: Kirsten Dunst, Kate Hudson, Jennifer Aniston, Mandy Moore, Drew Barrymore, and Salma Hayek.

    I would disqualify Mandy, Salma, and Kate on the grounds that they haven’t been in hit movies in forever (plus, Salma doesn’t date a lot of hip guys, haha). Everyone knows that Drew had a sordid past, so she’s out. Jen and Kirsten are possibilities, but I don’t think they’re as likely as Cameron or even Anne.

  • Dawn

    Natalie Portman?

    Anne Hathaway?

    Cameron Diaz?

  • MollySue

    Jennifer Aniston? LOL – I wish she’d be that interesting.

    I doubt that it’s Cameron – it sounds like the woman in question is currently or at least very recently single, and as someone said CD has been going out with Paul Sculfor for a little while now.

    I must say that this sounds like Anne Hathaway – in a number of hit movies lately (even winning a Golden Globe for one), politically aware (demanding Obama explains himself over his choice of shoes, or some crap). Generally not known for sl-tting around the place (apart from a few college rumours)

    Kate Hudson is also a good guess… but, nah. She’s not that well liked. Wonder who the man is. i hope it’s not Fiddy or Piddling, they’re wretched.

  • MollySue

    Damn sorry. I didn’t notice that she’s just hooked up with someone. I still think that rules out Sculfor as he is definitely studly and they’ve been together for a few months, which is decades in celeb-land

  • Paula

    I was thinking Drew Barrymore, but Cameron I could see!

  • laura

    I can’t be Drew. How her past life was a secret for this guy? Was he under a rock? Drew allegedly had problem with drugs (since she was really young) and is famous for sleeping around a little. Remember Ed Westwick like a few months ago?

    And Cameron hasn’t been in any hit movie. But since we don’t know about Ted’s ideas, who knows.

    I’m thinking about Anne. I wish it was her LOL

  • melissa

    Cameron Diaz is not gorgeous and IMO she’s not as sweet as Drew. Its more likely Drew even though her past is well-documented in many circles. It seems there are decoys in this BI and/or it is possible that the new guy really doesn’t have a clue about her past. Adding to the intrigue is the way Drew slobbered all over Jessica Lange onstage at the Golden Globes, and the next day it was reported that Cameron was in a huff at Drew at an afterparty. Then the story quickly went away.

  • Stacked

    I’m feeling it is “Drew”, but who is the guy…Diddy has money but is not very handsome, if at all.

  • E

    Drew Barrymore or Anne Hathaway, I think the ones it aint must be peers of the actress, Cameron is a bit older than the ones mentioned, and she’s been with Paul Sculfor for ages. As for the guy, possibly Diddy.

    Other than the drugs, I would say they aren’t doing anything wrong and if they want to keep it private hey, its up to them – they were not cheating or hurting anyone. Unless the girl is the face of the Celibacy League or something its none of anyones business really, including her current squeeze.

  • yo mama

    cameron diaz drove a prius

  • IamThinking

    Cameron Diaz and 50 Cent is the best guess

  • pbp

    All the references to hipsters? Definitely Drew.
    She’s supposed to be clean after all her wildness as a teen, but she’s been hitting the Happy of late too, plus there were rumours of her and Jason Segel hooking up recently. He’s known for not being in stellar shape (but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed)

  • h00bydice

    This has Cameron and P. Diddy written all over it, but the first person that came to my mind was Kate Hudson

  • Carol

    Kate Hudson was briefly seen out with an african-american basketball or football player (don’t remember his name)? Now she is dating a golfer, that would explain less athletic. Also the word famous is used? “Almost Famous” the movie she starred in?

    • MK

      Carol I was thinking the same thing on this one – it’s Kate Hudson…

      • h00bydice

        I posted a link here from Janet Charlton’s Hollywood entitled: KATE HUDSON AND HER H.S. SWEETHEART BARON DAVIS that was nixed…guess I know now ya ain’t s’posed to do that lol. Anyway, the item talks about how they’re still seeing each other on the down-low. Okay, and here’s a quote from it that ties in the Snoop connection: “…They were photographed together in his car the other night on their way to a party at Snoop’s…”. The item is dated, 10/28/08, less than 3 mos ago.

      • h00bydice

        …btw, for those who don’t know, Baron Davis is a basketball star with the LA Clippers of the NBA, and this part of the item gives it away: “…far-less-athletic nooky partner…”.

  • mama

    Cameron Diaz and P diddy

  • Beleive it

    Kate Hudson . Reasons as folows: Owens hip, or was. Her ex hubby, hip. I also seem to have a magazine cover from star in my head of her all skin and bones and shiZ, from coke or anorexia, more likely coke cause it’s more fun. Anyway this blind items like a long epic poem … like the illiad or someyhkg damn. People get it right: it’s Hudson

    • penny

      her ex hubby is many things..but HIP is definitely not one of them. The Black Crowes is a bluesy hard rock band. No one would describe them as hip. No. for sure not Kate Hudson.

  • penny

    at the end he says ‘mark my snoopy(and wise) words’. Umm, SNOOP DOG!? He also has a line of streetwear called RICH AND INFAMOUS.
    Its for sure Snoop Dog and….

    • penny

      im thinkin Snoop Dog and Cameron Diaz. Theres pics of them hanging after the mtv total request live in May. Cameron was seeing P Diddy last year..but I dont think this BI is about him..too many references to Snoop. Seems to me she only dates AA men on the sly. She was dating Justin Timberlake. There are many references to Camereron as being a hipster. Cameron gets around!

  • Sundaeg1rl

    I thought Prius sounded like Paris, as in Hilton

  • kg

    not kirsten dunst..has said some unflattering racial comments in recent years publicly

    kate hudson or cameron

    the guy that is friends friends with alba and her husband and other celebs are baron davis-basketball player, q-tip..friends with leo dicaprio..cameron connection..

  • george

    It’s Kate Hudson and Baron Davis (Clippers basketball player, is single)

  • Yan

    @ Sundaeg1rl … it can’t be Paris.. she hasn’t starred in the latest hit since… umm… EVER! lol the first sentence in BI eliminate Paris all 2gether.

  • In L.A.

    There ya’ go again Teddy C with your wacky writing…I think we are good on Cameron Diaz – but, who is the dude? It had better be someone HOT. Oh, and Snoop(Married) and Poop Diddy(10xBaby Daddy) are disgusting choices. So, my guess is Terrell Owens.

  • cece

    Baron Davis is not ‘Rich and Infamous’. Snoop Dog is…thats his clothing line.

  • kiki

    I was thinking you know who’s infamous? Akon for owning Diamond mines and tossing people off stages and such.

    I totally forgot snoop’s line is called Infamous… good catch.

    I still think It’s cameron Diaz.

  • sarah

    But Snoop is hardly “studly.” Ewwwww

  • yo mama

    i agree w kate hudson and that clippers guy

  • GeeMoney

    It’s got to be either Kate Hudson or Cameron Diaz…. remember Kate was seen around town with that basketball player

  • Nikki

    It can’t be Diddy, because he’s neither particularly studly nor athletic. 50 Cent, I can believe. Baron Davis can believe even without the infamous.

    Looks like Kate Hudson… though I like the Anne Hathaway guesses as well. She strikes me as someone whose carefully managed public image isn’t anywhere close to her private reality.

  • somebody

    drew – notice the “PC” hint in there. she dated that Mac guy for a while and he was always on the mac/pc commercials. it has to be her. i bet a lot of her recent past has been a secret from most of us…. since we all think she is a good, sweet reformed girl.

  • G

    it has to be drew! She is a knows ex drug user. She hooks up with all the hottest guy. Including recent flings chase crawford, and ed westwick! Her new movie ‘hes just not that into you ‘is said to be a hit, along with the one she directed. The “black” guy I have no clue who that may be, mayeb diddy…cameron might have passed him onto her. Oh and she was recently seen out with Jason Segel who is “far less athletic.” Im sure he is a swell guy and she sure doesnt want him to find out. She was also at some thing for borack obama “political!” Hell I wanted to be her for a minute!

  • Nycdweller

    it absolutely can’t be kate hudson because it says the actress stars in HITS.not crapfests.

  • Jane Doe

    My first gut reaction was Drew, but some of ya were really convincing with Kate Hudson. But alas, I’m back to Drew. Whos is guy, though? I’m sure Ted’s done previous blinds on diddy – was he known as Wallup in those? I just don’t see Diddy as attractive at all.

  • JJ

    Drew Barrymore and Lenny Kravitz.

  • Anon

    For some reason I really think this is Natalie Portman.


    Cameron is well known to drive a Prius.

  • I know!!!!

    Ok It is NOT kate Hudson guys. She does not own a prius BUT….

    Cameron Diaz does and is famous for driving one around and making political statements. Not only that but she was seen around a bit with PD for a while. That was no big secret in Miami or Los Angeles. This is such old news.

    BTW, yes, she does use meth and is a huge partier… Actually she is a KNOWN meth user in the bizz and has had to take drug tests just to get insured on one of her movies right after she broke up with Leto… who also is a drug user. Hello, how do you think Miss Lindsy got her self hooked. Lindsy was only a casual user till than.

    ALSO, Mr Song Man himself would complain to anyone who would listen for a while about her meth addiction. He talked about it to anyone who would listen he was so bitter over it.

  • Lukie

    I can see why Drew but that is just way too obvious. Kate Hudson and her basketball ex-sweetheart from high school is an excellent choice, but she wasn’t had enough long term relationships in the public eye.

    Now Cameron: Matt Dillon, Leto and Timberlake. All long term relationships in the public eye. We know she at least smokes weed b/c there are pictures of her smoking a joint on the beach with Drew. She looks like she is on something half the time. Pictures of her and Diddy and her and 50 are out there. 50 has a hot body and used to sell drugs. Diddy doesn’t have a body like 50 but has been pictured smoking blunts and it was rumored he popped E with paris (or was it Britney?) so we know he isn’t drug free.
    My money is on Cameron who has begun to settle down with that model/actor guy…

  • tw

    You all seem to have missed a major clue — the site admin tagged the post as “sports” related, so the guy has to be a current or retired pro athlete, no?

  • boomboom

    Jaimme Foxx/Jessica Biel/Justin Timberlake

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