The Secret Keeper

[CDAN] As has been the case throughout the past week or so, many of these blind items interact with some of the same players appearing in more than one. Actor #1 is your puzzle piece this week to be joined with another blind. It seems to be Academy Award week this week in the blind items and today is no exception. This actress has not only been in this spot before, but has also won an Academy Award. This actress who is still very much an A list actress has not worked much in the past two years but still maintains that status. Much like The Backstabber, this actress also has tried to hold the title of the world’s sweetheart. Everyday though, our actress lives with a secret. A big secret. One that she thinks if revealed would cause her to lose any future roles and would also make the public at large feel like they could never trust her. Lets call her Secret Keeper.

For the past 20+ years our actress has been in the closet. That in of itself is not the biggest deal in the world, but it is the way she chooses to create this fiction around her which is probably the greatest acting job ever.

Generally when it comes to the world of beards it is a very male dominated world with gay men finding women to act as beards. Our actress has become a master of the beard and has told friends she used Katharine Hepburn as her role model.

Secret Keeper has always had that innocent look in movies. She tries to stay out of the tabloids and to never draw attention to herself except when it comes to one very important thing. Men. Some of the best looking, most gorgeous actors in the world have been linked to Secret Keeper, but they never actually go out. It is probably fair to say that Secret Keeper has been linked with three of the hottest actors on the planet. All of them A list and all of them supposedly wanting to date Secret Keeper. The truth is none of them have ever dated Secret Keeper but sure are happy to hang out with her. They keep her secret safe while making it look like she is desirable and wanted and all heterosexual. She also keeps their secrets.

The first actor who went along for the ride with Secret Keeper was supposed to be a long term thing. He is an A lister through and through and only shows up on television in cameos. Although these two were supposedly together for a year or more, no one ever saw them out in public. She is not good in public with affection and men. Despite her Academy Award, she is not that good with men on the screen either. Most of her relationships on screen are not about long kisses and sex scenes. In fact, it is really really rare that she ever kisses a man on screen.

Anyway, she and Actor #1 had a thing until she found out about some things he was doing to other women that she found repulsive. He was setting them up and acting more like a pimp than an actor. Plus, he wanted a relationship that involved sex with a woman and Secret Keeper did not play that game so they split. Unlike her other bearded relationships, Secret Keeper never speaks to Actor #1 because of his past actions.

Actor #2 was second on the playlist after Actor #1. He is also an A lister, but probably would never have achieved it without the help of Secret Keeper who showed her appreciation for his year of service by introducing him to people that took his career from a “hey, that guy is pretty good, to an automatic greenlight if this guy is on board.” The secret she keeps for him is that, despite the fact that women crave him, he does not always reciprocate. His longest term relationship was a struggle for him because he was always going back and forth between men and women and his B list actress girlfriend did not appreciate that. Actor #2 did introduce Secret Keeper to someone who has become a fixture in her life.

Actor #3 is also A list and is perfectly happy to let the tabloids think that he has sex with Secret Keeper everytime he is single. They don’t, but he hates the tabloids anyway and feels like he is sticking it to them each time. They do really care for each other and when he is involved with someone thy can’t hang out because then people might suspect they are just friends. It is only when they are both “single,” that he can come over and the tabloids go crazy.

In what is probably the best example of her acting skill, our actress even faked a marriage. The couple never had sex, but when he began to stray and get caught, it had to end. She had to play the hurt wife, even though she didn’t care at all about the affairs, but the fact that she was going to have to end it and lose her perfect cover.

At the present time, Secret Keeper just stays at home and has her few select, very very long term companions that she sees who pose as maids or assistants or whatever makes them innocuous to the paps. Secret Keeper is probably the best ever at keeping a secret.

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