Sparkle’s Secrets Are Coming Out

[EOnline] There’s something to be said for gals—gay and straight—who have very religious upbringings. When it comes to sex, they tend to lean heavily in one direction or the other. Usually nothing vanilla or boring between the sheets with belting, church-going gals who call Jesus their BFF!

Certainly is the case with hugely talented star Sissi Sparkle, who has everybody wondering lately…

“Has she ever had a girlfriend?” many are starting to ask, since fans are just now (stupidly) waking up to the fact that Sissi never really has had much of a man in her life—apart from some silly flirtations here and there.

True, there was the one guy a long time ago, but, he was just a cover-up, people!

But recently, Sissi’s been in the news in a pretty major way. She’s big on the celeb radar again—very big.

So it’s no wonder folks are starting to wonder—in some cases, not for the first time—where the hell is the man in this multitalented powerhouse’s existence?

Answer: paid to further Sissi’s fabulous-again career!

‘Cause it was always the ladies who did it for Sissi. Always.

And, damn, do the girls who lived to tell about their wild sex times have a lot to say about it!

(But they never will.)

AND IT AIN’T: Dolly Parton, Jennifer Hudson, Britney Spears

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  1. scarletbegonias says

    also, is he insinuating that one or more of her lovers did NOT live to tell about it?

  2. mrsdavis82206 says

    And it ain’t clues usually give hints so- My guess a relatively young blond (Britney) pop/country singer (Dolly) who was discovered on a reality show (Jennifer Hudson)- in the news for supporting Ron Paul- so my guess is- Kelly Clarkson?

  3. HotTeacher88 says

    Kelly Clarkson, one guy a long time ago being Justin Guarini. Big waste of a hottie, BTW. I was hoping to see his face in the place more often.:(

  4. MoeschaB says

    Whitney? AIA’s: Houston put Dolly’s song, “Will Always Love You” back on charts, JHud sang the same song at Grammys in a Tribute to Whitney. Cant tie Brit in any way other than she is a also a southern Baptist girl. Still sad, still a HUGE fan.

  5. KWDragon says

    Whoa! That is one heckuva AIA list! Songwriter, Idol contestant, pop singer. Kelly Clarkson?

  6. mommagoosed says

    I am guessing this is Jordan Sparks, but can’t make the connection to Britney. Dolly is the link to Whitney, co-star in upcoming movie, and J-Hud the link to American Idol. Plus, isn’t the new movie titled, “Sparkles”?

  7. telm1234 says

    Madonna is my immediate thought, but I think she has a boyfriend…and she was married…

  8. jjonesy says

    Sadly, Whitney. Obviously. Her mother’s name is Cissy, and her most recent movie, starring Jennifer Hudson, is “Sparkle.” WH had the gigantic hit “I will always love you” written by Dolly. And I seem to remember Britney covering one of Whitney’s songs. Rest in peace, o talented one. I hope the demons that followed you around in this life are gone from your eternal soul.

  9. tatatina says

    Kristen Chenoweth? With Church-Going being in reference to her show, Good Christian B*tches, or “Belles.” I have nothing much…and with her acting (Pushing Daisies, Glee, Wicked…) and singing, she’s the only “powerhouse” i can think of making news. The “big” reference may be a hint at her diminutive size???

  10. Glennora says

    For some reason, I’m thinking Kelly Clarkson. Don’t know if she’s been in the news “in a pretty major way” though. Anyhow, I think she’s great.

  11. knickers says

    Kelly Clarkson? I’ve never heard of her being with any guys, and she seems like she has come back into the spotlight lately.

  12. SouthJerseyGirl says

    Sounds like Whitney Houston – Sparkle is the name of her new movie and Dolly Parton wrote her biggest hit, Jennifer Hudson sang it after her death, not sure where Britney fits in.

  13. mocha2009 says

    My guess for this is Kristen Chenowith. She’s really open about her religious upbringing; getting a lot of press lately with GCB; and had a public relationship with Alan Sorkin. She’s also multi-talented with singing, theater, etc.

  14. Hagatha says

    I think it’s Whitney Houston. Her mother’s name is Sissy, she is most famous for singing Dolly Parton’s song, and Robyn Crawford was rumored to be her girlfriend in the 80’s/90’s. She also had a very religious upbringing.

  15. Sensibleguess says

    The “Aints” appear to be singer/actresses, mainly … so I am going to go with Kristin Chenoweth, who was raised Baptist but is supportive of the gay community, has Dolly Parton as a personal idol, and is in a lot of celeb news lately because of her new show GCB.

  16. Procrastinator says

    Well, if we’re talking the non-living, this definitely sounds like Whitney Houston. Wasn’t Kelly McGillis her girl? I recently saw pictures of Whitney before she was Clived up, and she looked very, very dyke-like.

    Now, if a heartbeat is required, I have no clue.

  17. hotel57 says

    I would really love for this to be Rihanna but I haven’t heard much about her being brought up in a religious home.

    Going with Katy Perry. Although she doesn’t seem to fit very well either… she’s in the news lately but not HUGE in the news… feels like I’m missing the mark here.

  18. Saint Nick says

    Talk about coming out, what happened to the recent blind about a Twilight star who was going to come out and got cold feet? It’s vanished. Too close to home?

  19. ShennanigansOHoolihan says

    I’m stumped.

    I thought Carrie Underwood, but she’s married. Then I thought Janet Jackson (being tossed around as an X-Factor judging name – career reboot #275), but I’m not sure she was ever close to God. Then I thought Taylor Swift, but she’s been linked to everyone…

    Kelly Clarkson is back big again though isn’t she? Connection to J-Hud – American Idol & countryish right now like Dolly Parton? But what man was she ever linked to? Hmm…Yeah, I have no idea.

  20. boyjack4 says

    Kristen Chenowath???? Had a relationship with Aaron Sorkin which he used for his failed sitcom…which really pissed her off! She’s in the new GCB which is all about Jesus being the girl’s BFF….never hear her linked to anyone!!!

  21. ClosetOrganizer says

    I’m gonna go with the promise ring-wearing Jordin Sparks, who was in Sparkle with the late Whitney Houston and played a character in the girl group Sista and her Sistas.