Sparkle’s Secrets Are Coming Out

[EOnline] There’s something to be said for gals—gay and straight—who have very religious upbringings. When it comes to sex, they tend to lean heavily in one direction or the other. Usually nothing vanilla or boring between the sheets with belting, church-going gals who call Jesus their BFF!

Certainly is the case with hugely talented star Sissi Sparkle, who has everybody wondering lately…

“Has she ever had a girlfriend?” many are starting to ask, since fans are just now (stupidly) waking up to the fact that Sissi never really has had much of a man in her life—apart from some silly flirtations here and there.

True, there was the one guy a long time ago, but, he was just a cover-up, people!

But recently, Sissi’s been in the news in a pretty major way. She’s big on the celeb radar again—very big.

So it’s no wonder folks are starting to wonder—in some cases, not for the first time—where the hell is the man in this multitalented powerhouse’s existence?

Answer: paid to further Sissi’s fabulous-again career!

‘Cause it was always the ladies who did it for Sissi. Always.

And, damn, do the girls who lived to tell about their wild sex times have a lot to say about it!

(But they never will.)

AND IT AIN’T: Dolly Parton, Jennifer Hudson, Britney Spears

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55 comments to Sparkle’s Secrets Are Coming Out

  • scarletbegonias

    Kelly Clarkson

  • scarletbegonias

    also, is he insinuating that one or more of her lovers did NOT live to tell about it?

  • YesMaam

    Kelly Clarkson. I can only HOPE!
    <3 :) <3

  • malkatz

    Jordin Sparks, who is in an upcoming movie called Sparkle?

  • GrannyGoose

    Taylor Swift?

  • mrsdavis82206

    And it ain’t clues usually give hints so- My guess a relatively young blond (Britney) pop/country singer (Dolly) who was discovered on a reality show (Jennifer Hudson)- in the news for supporting Ron Paul- so my guess is- Kelly Clarkson?

  • HotTeacher88

    Kelly Clarkson, one guy a long time ago being Justin Guarini. Big waste of a hottie, BTW. I was hoping to see his face in the place more often.:(

  • MoeschaB

    Whitney? AIA’s: Houston put Dolly’s song, “Will Always Love You” back on charts, JHud sang the same song at Grammys in a Tribute to Whitney. Cant tie Brit in any way other than she is a also a southern Baptist girl. Still sad, still a HUGE fan.

  • neartstarlet

    Cher

  • blessedjess226

    Brandy Norwood

  • KWDragon

    Whoa! That is one heckuva AIA list! Songwriter, Idol contestant, pop singer. Kelly Clarkson?

  • modelle18

    hmm was Christina Aguilera a religious bird? If so she would be my first guess

  • mommagoosed

    I am guessing this is Jordan Sparks, but can’t make the connection to Britney. Dolly is the link to Whitney, co-star in upcoming movie, and J-Hud the link to American Idol. Plus, isn’t the new movie titled, “Sparkles”?

  • Scorpio13

    The late Whitney Houston.

  • Quanah

    Kelly Clarkson?

  • Marina

    Kelly Clarkson

  • pytmjfan

    Whitney Houston

  • Blitzed

    Whitney Houston

  • Beatrixie

    Kelly Clarkson?

  • telm1234

    Madonna is my immediate thought, but I think she has a boyfriend…and she was married…

  • Flavor of the week

    Taylor Swift

  • jjonesy

    Sadly, Whitney. Obviously. Her mother’s name is Cissy, and her most recent movie, starring Jennifer Hudson, is “Sparkle.” WH had the gigantic hit “I will always love you” written by Dolly. And I seem to remember Britney covering one of Whitney’s songs. Rest in peace, o talented one. I hope the demons that followed you around in this life are gone from your eternal soul.

  • cocobeannns

    Clarkson?

  • sarahbear

    Sounds like Kelly Clarkson

  • VeronicaMarsBars

    Kelly Clarkson

  • tatatina

    Kristen Chenoweth? With Church-Going being in reference to her show, Good Christian B*tches, or “Belles.” I have nothing much…and with her acting (Pushing Daisies, Glee, Wicked…) and singing, she’s the only “powerhouse” i can think of making news. The “big” reference may be a hint at her diminutive size???

  • aliciaaas

    Whitney Houston of course. Clues sparkle and lived to tell

  • CollegeGirl

    Umm Katy Perry??

  • exbestfriend

    WHITNEY HOUSTON

  • Glennora

    For some reason, I’m thinking Kelly Clarkson. Don’t know if she’s been in the news “in a pretty major way” though. Anyhow, I think she’s great.

  • knickers

    Kelly Clarkson? I’ve never heard of her being with any guys, and she seems like she has come back into the spotlight lately.

  • liberache

    Kelly Clarkson.

  • AlexandraChandoIsAwesome

    Kelly Rowland? But what’s she working on lately?

  • SouthJerseyGirl

    Sounds like Whitney Houston – Sparkle is the name of her new movie and Dolly Parton wrote her biggest hit, Jennifer Hudson sang it after her death, not sure where Britney fits in.

  • mocha2009

    My guess for this is Kristen Chenowith. She’s really open about her religious upbringing; getting a lot of press lately with GCB; and had a public relationship with Alan Sorkin. She’s also multi-talented with singing, theater, etc.

  • RyliesMom

    Kelly Clarkson?

  • Hagatha

    I think it’s Whitney Houston. Her mother’s name is Sissy, she is most famous for singing Dolly Parton’s song, and Robyn Crawford was rumored to be her girlfriend in the 80’s/90’s. She also had a very religious upbringing.

  • Sensibleguess

    The “Aints” appear to be singer/actresses, mainly … so I am going to go with Kristin Chenoweth, who was raised Baptist but is supportive of the gay community, has Dolly Parton as a personal idol, and is in a lot of celeb news lately because of her new show GCB.

  • Missy1982

    Kelli Clarkson

  • crankypants

    Jordin Sparks

  • Cappuccino Express

    Hhhmmm… Guessing… Rhianna? She seems to fit all the clues…

  • Procrastinator

    Well, if we’re talking the non-living, this definitely sounds like Whitney Houston. Wasn’t Kelly McGillis her girl? I recently saw pictures of Whitney before she was Clived up, and she looked very, very dyke-like.

    Now, if a heartbeat is required, I have no clue.

  • TheArtistFormerlyKnownasJim

    Taylor Swift

  • hotel57

    I would really love for this to be Rihanna but I haven’t heard much about her being brought up in a religious home.

    Going with Katy Perry. Although she doesn’t seem to fit very well either… she’s in the news lately but not HUGE in the news… feels like I’m missing the mark here.

  • Stubbs

    Kelly Clarkson – often accused of being very big on celebrity radar (or scales)

  • Saint Nick

    Talk about coming out, what happened to the recent blind about a Twilight star who was going to come out and got cold feet? It’s vanished. Too close to home?

  • kawibear

    Whitney Houston, unfortunately her death got her back into the news in a big way.

  • ShennanigansOHoolihan

    I’m stumped.

    I thought Carrie Underwood, but she’s married. Then I thought Janet Jackson (being tossed around as an X-Factor judging name – career reboot #275), but I’m not sure she was ever close to God. Then I thought Taylor Swift, but she’s been linked to everyone…

    Kelly Clarkson is back big again though isn’t she? Connection to J-Hud – American Idol & countryish right now like Dolly Parton? But what man was she ever linked to? Hmm…Yeah, I have no idea.

  • LilyVonT

    Kelly Clarkson maybe?

  • boyjack4

    Kristen Chenowath???? Had a relationship with Aaron Sorkin which he used for his failed sitcom…which really pissed her off! She’s in the new GCB which is all about Jesus being the girl’s BFF….never hear her linked to anyone!!!

  • PrincessTiff

    Kelly Clarkson

  • wendy hood

    kristen chenowith

  • sweetcheeks

    I’m thinking this can only be the late, great, Whitney Houston!

  • La Llorona

    Whitney?

  • ClosetOrganizer

    I’m gonna go with the promise ring-wearing Jordin Sparks, who was in Sparkle with the late Whitney Houston and played a character in the girl group Sista and her Sistas.