Jerry Has A Bitter Heart

[EOnline] Über-talented and fab Jerry Rock-Butt is publicly known for being a superstar, but privately, he’s known for his super moods. Most recently? Even though Jerry’s life is currently all roses—professionally and romantically—those who know Mr. Rock-Butt most personally are fully aware that he’s been a bit down, as of late.

Pray tell, why?

Because as he gets closer and closer to sealing the deal with his current girlfriend, only the stud’s best pals know that Jerry’s true heart still lies with a super hot ex girlfriend Jer came very close to marrying.

Back when Jerry and this curvy gal were a hotter-than-hot couple, Jerry’s mama was incensed that her baby boy was hooking up with an older chick who wasn’t so far in age from her own!

Well, maybe incensed is too strong of a word to use at first, but it sure as hell wasn’t once the ex and Jer started talking marriage! Mama Rock-Butt practically hit the roof! It was only a matter of time, then, before Jerry and this more voluptuous GF of his not only stopped talking marriage, but they broke up altogether.

And the mama’s boy has seriously missed his old flame ever since, particularly now that he’s on the verge of marrying blah GF Chutney Jones, who when compared to the vibrant, always-horny lover from his past, gets blown right outta the water. Babes are beyond different.

And nobody knows this more than Jerry, who fears he may have lost the love of his life.

Everybody can cry now, if they want, but I say this is just karma for letting your mommy arrange your love life.

And It Ain’t: Justin Theroux, Mark Walhberg, Matthew Morrison

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