The Hunk’s Private Love Life

[EOnline] Brucey Huskers is a gorgeous star. Brucey’s hot. Brucey has a super-b*tchin’, manly body. Brucey hangs with other equally luscious-lookin’ Tinseltown (and Blind Vice star) celebrities, who he’s gotten mucho intimate with.

So, why is Brucey having trouble getting some lovin’ lately?

Oh, wait. That rumor that he’s not getting any since his big Hollywood split turns out to be…

Just that, a rumor!

“Don’t you realize that this explains everything a little bit more clearly?” said one of the dudes who hangs thisclose alongside the humpy celebrity, who’s gone back to getting it on with guys (something he did before his latest sexy starlet romance), since his latest publicized romance went sour.

“Ever stop to think why these ‘relationships’ of his don’t last,” asked Brucey’s equally handsome bud, rhetorically. “Only a guy who’s into guys would go out with the women this guy’s gone out with,” bitched the Huskers hanger-on.

Now, if you’re able to follow the logic here, it pretty much makes sense: Brucey hooks up with Hollywood gals who are gorgeous but who he knows he has zilcho in common with. Everyone’s shocked when it doesn’t work out, as both parties are almost always super hot! Leaving the public breathless and waiting for the next hetero hook-up.

So, what gives?

Just that Brucey wants to keep getting in on with the guys even though he tells even himself it’s the chickers he’s really wanting.

Uh, so not the case.

But, Brucey will be the last to know this.

AND IT AIN’T: Ashton Kutcher, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen

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