Gay Star Gets Closeted Man’s Attention

[EOnline] We love Hildago Van Buren, the out star of many different talents. Not only can he hold his own, singing, dancing and acting, he can also hold his latest costar’s p*nis—and does he!

Oh my, what the hell happened? Put the kiddie fans to bed and find out:

Recently Hildago signed up for a big production. You know, one of those shows with row upon row of deluxe dressing rooms. And it was inside one of these private star residences that Hildago got propositioned.

In itself, it’s not so shocking. Van Buren’s a super charming, über-talented guy. No, the shocker here is who made the approach—somebody with hundreds of thousands of teeny-bopper fans, somebody who would probably not work again (at the same level to which he’s become accustomed), if word got out he was rubbing his privates up against Van Buren behind closed doors!

Did Hildago bite? No, surprisingly. But he’s also no fool:

Before Hildy decided to let his surprise suitor down, telling him he wasn’t interested in a quickie, he did take the time to feel up the guy’s goods.

How the hell often to you have the chance to check out the family jewels of one of the world’s biggest stars?

Like, never!

(Van Buren remains impressed.)

And It Ain’t: Ricky Martin, Elton John, Adam Lambert

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75 comments to Gay Star Gets Closeted Man’s Attention

  • Ralphie

    Jonathan Groff and Justin Bieber when both were on Glee last year?

  • FzFzFz

    I’m gonna guess Cheyenne Jackson

    • FzFzFz

      I don’t understand why you’re saying it’s not him. TC never said the guy was single.

      • waxDiva

        If you read the link, you would see that Cheyenne posted a photo and sayin that he “loves his man.” Sheesh, like can someone have an opinion here??? If you think it’s him, fine with me! IMO, it’s NOT Cheyenne… geez.

      • mimipoo

        NPH said a few weeks ago that his BF is “the love of his life” and still everyone says it is him. So yeah, everyone’s got their own opinion. (And that seems to include that gay men cannot be faithful.)

      • FzFzFz

        lol I wasn’t saying you can’t think it’s not him, I just meant his being in a relationship doesn’t exclude him

  • mimipoo

    Thought of NPH, but it seems as if Ted was deliberatly trying to have people think so. And wouldn’t it BE a surprise if he had “bitten”, y’know, with hubby and baby and stuff? It say, “Surprisingly”, he said “no”.

    What “show” has happened lately with big names, where you had “co-stars”? Some musical show? You wouldn’t have “co-stars” at an awards show..

    It’s probably Cheyenne Jackson. Or Chris Colfer. Both also multi-talented and charming.

  • Yuolala

    NHP and Taylor Lautner?

    • Yuolala

      I mean Neil Patrick Harris

      • 4six2

        I also thought of NPH, but don’t know if he’d step out. I guess it’s not really “stepping out” if one is just copping a feel, though. I’d forgive him.

      • cocobeannns

        Maybe that’s why he turned him down, and just had a feel? Because he’s already commited? Hmm.

    • Ralphie

      Oh I hope not NPH! I love him and his hubby.

      Taylor Lautner I could see’

      • Reader

        NPH strikes me as someone who would cop a feel in an ironic, cheeky way – and I don’t think that’s cheating or stepping out on his hubby. In fact, it makes me like him even more (is that possible?). I can totally see him turning down the closeted teeny bopper in this funny and kind of humiliating way. grabbing the goods and then turning the closeted dude down as though the goods are good enough.

        God I love you NPH.

      • hazel

        Thank you, Reader, that makes me feel better. I love NPH, and his hot hubby, and their cute babies. I don’t want him to be a cheater. But, true, I could see him saying “show me the goods” just for sh*ts and giggles. Then turning the guy down (probably nicely), and telling his husband all about it later.

    • Pickle

      Taylor Lautner was notted today by Ted. (Along with Joe Jonas btw.) But I think Neil Patrick Harris is a good guess, the “kiddie fans” maybe being fans of the Smurfs movie.

  • cocobeannns

    I like NPH for Hildago Van Buren. I’m not feeling the Lautner guess however. When were he and NPH ever co-stars? And I wouldn’t exactly call Taylor one of the world’s biggest stars. IMO.

  • mimipoo

    Thought of NPH, but it seems as if Ted was deliberatly trying to have people think so. And wouldn’t it BE a surprise if he had “bitten”, y’know, with hubby and baby and stuff? It say, “Surprisingly”, he said “no”.

    What “show” has happened lately with big names, where you had “co-stars”? Some musical show? You wouldn’t have “co-stars” at an awards show..

    It’s probably Cheyenne Jackson. Or Chris Colfer. Both also multi-talented and charming.

  • TooMuchTime

    How about Nathan Lane? He’s currently filming The Brothers Grimm with Julia Roberts, according to IMDB. Other hints: “Put the kiddies to bed” (He’s voiced Disney films) and uber-talented (Starred in The Producers with its German story-line).

  • Vidalia Q Intrigue

    How about Neil Patrick Harris and Daniel Radcliffe at the Tonys?

    • SouthJerseyGirl

      This was my first thought too.

    • inmichigan

      I can get on board with that!

    • BrightStar

      Totally disagree.

      “Hundreds of thousands of teenie bopper fans?” Not true of DanRad. And if Dan were to come out (though Ted has stated that he’s straight), he would certainly work again. It’s not like he takes a bunch of beefcake roles.

    • Sanguine

      Ted C has said before that Dan is straight. Dan has a long-term girlfriend whom he rarely talks about in the press and he is very outspoken about gay rights. If he were gay I doubt he’d hide it.

    • apple martini

      I can believe the NPH guess, but I don’t think the other is Radcliffe. Many HP fans already suspect that he’s gay or bi (although Ted claims he’s straight), and it doesn’t bother them. He’s pretty pro-gay rights, so I don’t think he’d stay closeted if he was. Finally, unlike Pattinson and Lautner, he doesn’t have to trade on sex appeal.

      • mimipoo

        But DanRad’s the only guy that age NPH has “worked” with recently. If it’s not him, it ain’t NPH, either.

        Anyone noticed how there’s not ONE mention of good-looking? I suspect that would be mentioned if it was either Cheyenne Jackson or NPH.

        I call it now: Ted’s trying to mislead everyone.

  • LovelyGal22

    Hildago Van Buren – Neal Patrick Harris
    Surprise Suitor – Daniel Radcliffe

    NPH hosted the Tony awards, at which Daniel Radcliffe performed. Dan certainly has tons of teeny-bopper fans, and the “kiddie fan” reference would point more to Harry Potter, which has a large legion of children fans (adult fans too, but it is still more known as a kids book/movie) – more so than Twilight or other teeny-bopper type entertainment.

  • Chocadoodledoo

    Nick Jonas is in the new cast of Hairspray, I go for him as the surprise suitor but have no idea who Hildago could be!

    • LadyPiper

      John Stamos. They even tweeted each other, with Nick calling him a senile old grandpa and then tweeted again “just kidding”. And as “Uncle Jesse” he was always putting the kids to bed.
      Nick Jonas & John Stamos.

      • FzFzFz

        But John Stamos isn’t openly gay

      • LadyPiper

        You’re right. After I posted that, I realized he’s not. Then it hit me – Harvey Feirstein(sp?). Can’t get more open than him.

      • LadyPiper

        Now I take everything back. NPH &! Sterling Knight (So Random on Disney). They’re doing the Muppet Movie.

        I finally found the other stuff Ted mentioned eliminating Lautner and Joe Jonas. Which helped me a bit.

  • yepimbored

    Definitely NPH and DanRad

    • yepimbored

      Hildago is the name of a horse. DanRad was in a play where his character blinded 6 horses

      “teeny-bopper fans” and “kiddie fans”-Harry Potter fans. Twilight mostly caters to tweens/teens.

      “probably not work again (at the same level to which he’s become accustomed” – DanRad had a cushy job playing Harry Potter for 10 years. Although he is still doing great acting wise, he’s no longer guaranteed a job.

      Hildago Van Buren and Neil Patrick Harris has 3 names.

      • johfo

        “probably not work again” could also be a word-game about the play “How to Succeed in Business Without Trying”

      • yepimbored

        That actually makes more sense. I looked up the summary of H2S and his character goes from a window washer to Chairman of the Board of the company by the end of the play. So his character does not work again “at the same level to which he became accustomed”.

  • wfreshie

    that is a really good guess

  • PandoraWolf

    For some reason Elijah Wood keeps coming to mind, even though I don’t think LOTR has ‘teeny bopper’ fans and have no idea what his preferences are, nor whether his fans would care.

  • laili6

    I agree with everyone who said NPH and DanRad. All this post needs is some reference to magic, but that would give it away too easily. :-)

  • irishmarty

    Hugh Jackman?

  • NYCFashionPassion

    NPH and DanRad seem most likely. However, I have a hard time believing either of these boys are the kiss & tell type. So how would this info have gotten out? I’m thinking this may be someone else with looser lips. 😛

  • wfreshie

    isn’t nph and hubby on vacation with elton john right now!!

    so nph and dan rad definitely

  • waz101

    I think It’s pretty well accepted in London that Elton and David Furnish ‘Play Away’. Not sure if NPH would want to check out Elton’s ‘Family Jewels’ though!!!

  • dee123

    NPH & hmm…. all the ain’t there are singers. Bieber?

  • pat362

    Although I think Neil patrick harris is a very good guess for Hildago van Buren. I don’t think Daniel radcliffe is all that popular with teeny-boppers. The term usually refers to teenagers and although many children that started reading the books and watching the movies are now teenagers. I don’t think too many of them still have a Harry Potter poster in their room. Now that’s a different story for Taylor Lautner. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of teeny-boppers with a poster of him and I don’t think he will ever work at the same level as he does right now with the twilight movies.

    It’s also true that Daniel Radcliffe will never work at the same level that he did for the Harry Potter movies but with the amount of money he made on those movies. I don’t think he will want to.

    • yepimbored

      But is Taylor Lautner one of the “world’s biggest stars”? And I don’t think Taylor and Neil have starred in anything together.

    • mimipoo

      But if it’s not DanRad, it can’t be NPH, either, because Daniel is the only younger world star he has worked with this year.

  • NiceVixen

    NPH and Alex Pettyfer

  • apple martini

    I really don’t think it’s Radcliffe. A lot of HP fans already suspect that he’s gay or bi, and don’t care. Ted’s already said that he’s straight, and I think that if that had changed, he’d’ve said something to that effect. The HP films are over, so it’s not like Radcliffe would have to fake being straight to keep the role. He’s also a strong supporter of gay rights; if he was gay himself, I think he’d just come out.

  • GyThanksGd

    Not that I would be against Daniel Radcliffe being on the home team, he is doing more good as a straight ally.

  • PlayItAgain

    I immediately thought of Neil Patrick Harris for Hidalgo, but instead of Lautner, I went to Pattinson for the surprise suitor, since there are so many strong rumors that he’s gay. And he is one of the few these days with throngs of tween fans. But I couldn’t think of a big show that they were both at. Maybe the People’s Choice or the MTV movie awards?

    • yepimbored

      NPH wan’t involved in PC or MTV movie awards and Rob was never a presenter when NPH was hosting or performing. He usually host/performs at the Oscars, Emmys, or Tonys.

  • Reader

    hmmmm – list of NPH’s latest projects:

    1. Muppets. surprisingly few young actors who would have huge teeny bopper following. maybe Jack Black or Jason Siegel? unlikely
    2. Harold & Kumar Christmas – same
    3. Smurfs – same (weird – how come all the kiddie movies are being played by veteran, older actors – no teeny boppers – would have thought that those movies would be targeted to that age group)
    4. Beastly – Alex Pettyfer! I think we have a winner kids!

    • yepimbored

      Alex Pettyfer is not one of the world’s biggest stars (at least not yet) and Beastly was filmed in December 2007 — not exactly recent. And Beastly was a low budget film (17 mil) so it was not a “big production”. The only thing NPH has done recent other than the movies you mentioned were the Tony Awards in June.

  • NorCalDude

    NPH and Matthew Morrison.

  • KittyFight

    I’m going to say the male was either Nick Jonas and Corben Blue who were in Tech Week with a star studded cast for the Hollywood Bowl’s production of Hairspray at this time. As for “Hidalgo” I think it was NPH as he directed the Hollywood Bowl’s production of RENT last summer, so he has ties to the star studded productions they do.

    • yepimbored

      Nick Jonas is too young. Ted said the suitor was older than Taylor L who is 19 — NJ is 18. He also said the suitor was more famous than Chase Crawford, so Corbin Bleu is out. Ted said this happened “recent” so I think this was just a few months ago.