She Did Him Wrong Then Blamed Him

[EOnline] And people say Possum Santana can’t act!

Poor, poor Possum. She never really does very well in the movies, as the flicks she stars in rarely do huge box-office numbers, and they almost always get lethal reviews. But Possum is an awfully pretty girl, sure as hell (despite what seem like a million nervous personal twitches). Not to mention she’s got a man who’s done his best to stick by her sometimes loca side.

Too bad, then, that Possum decided to…

 

Cheat on her loyal husband with some pretty-boy type! So fun, but so stupid in the long run.

Because you know why? Pretty boy’s already done with Possum, who didn’t think this whole thing through—at least, not financially speaking.

And she didn’t think through how it’d play out in the court of public opinion either!

Let’s be honest: Possum’s hubby was a total loser and a bore despite the fact that he was loyal. But she should have been much smarter about it, because now it looks like she’s the one who’s more in the wrong because, well, she is.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, it’s really a shame Possum doesn’t know how to be more discreet. Because, you know that wave of sympathy Possum’s enjoyed so far, regarding the “sad” break-up of her marriage.

Going to change.

And It Ain’t: Brooke Mueller, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson

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78 comments to She Did Him Wrong Then Blamed Him

    • apartment8

      That was my first instinct too. Hmm

    • Pickle

      While it certainly fits (besides the boring husband clue), it would be too easy for it to be her. Also I thought JLo and Marc were the monikers Strippa (sp?) And Ceasar A?

      • plum

        Ted C almost outed Jlo&Skeletor as Strippa/Ceasar on twitter :he named Skeletor “loser”

      • BrightStar

        I don’t think they ARE Strippa Rip-Ya and Caesar Anchovy-Arse. On the day they after announced their divorce, this was in his BB, affirming that only ONE of the two of them has been a BV. If it’s Mark, then Possum could be JLo, and it REALLY sounds like it is!

        “Dear Ted:
        What is with Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s divorce? Is there a Blind Vice in there? Please do tell. —Carley

        Dear One of Many:
        Do you know how full my inbox was today? And it was all about these ex-lovers, too. So ‘bout their Viciness: Well, they’re both B.V. superstar material, but only one has had the starring role. Does that make sense? Their Vices didn’t exactly push them toward love and happiness, darling.”

      • KimiD

        If you remember when Ted first introduced that BV the hubby didn’t have a name…it was initially only about Strippa…after much hounding did Ted give the hubby a moniker.

    • dorothy

      I dont think the first word to come to mind to describe Marc Anthony is “loyal”…

      • Layale

        Yeah, that is might thought, as well. Though I can’t think of another guess at the moment.

    • akajenb

      I was thinking jlo because of the “loca side”.Jlo and halle some how has problem with keeping a guy, well i guess beauty is only skin deep.smh

    • Barry

      no way. skeletor and loyal are not in the same sentence to be found. though it does work with that Levy guy she did the video with (and who was sued for rape and transmitting an STD – her taste in men just rocks!).

  • Robb Ess

    Santana and “loca” make me think J Lo, but Marc Anthony has been the subject of unflattering behind-the-scenes stories that go far beyond being called boring and loyal.

  • onlyme

    What about Ashlee Simpson? I don’t know if I’d go so far as to call Pete Wentz a “total loser and a bore”, but he was known in the relationship for his loyalty.

  • FzFzFz

    If this is J.Lo, she’s not Strippa Rip-Ya

  • CatGrant

    The bore of a husband reminds me of Xtina’s ex. And her movies are bad. But, I don’t know… the rest is a weird way to describe her.

  • AlliCat

    Too bad they haven’t broken up, because Jessica Alba and Cash Warren fit the bill…

    • KWDragon

      That is exactly who I thought of. She is VERY pregnant right now, and she still walks around looking sad and dumpy. And she’s whiny. I could definitely see her as Possum, especially with the “wave” clue and Blue Crush, I think it was. Are you sure she and Cash are not on the outs?

    • lahteb

      They are the only couple I can think of that truly fits… save for the divorce part.

  • smile83

    i don’t have idea on this one, but put courtney cox name just to be different.

  • Beauty

    Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. I’m serious too, it fits.

  • onlyme

    Emmy Rossum. Her “secret” husband filed for divorce just after she had finished touring with the Counting Crows. She then went on to date the lead singer.

    • ChiChiLaRue

      I don’t know if I would call Adam Duritz a “pretty boy” though…

      I like the J.Lo guess, but I also like the Pete and Ashlee guess… though , with the fact that she was parading around with Craig Owens so soon after her separation… it wouldn’t surprise me to find she’d cheated. But she has been sort of making Pete look like “the bad guy” through this all, citing his “erratic behavior” as grounds for the divorce, whatever that means. As for movies… she’s got The Hot Chick and…. that’s about it. Sooo… even though the shoe fits, I don’t think it’s her.
      I’ll go with Jlo, too then.

  • digitallyspeaking

    HAHA! Rossum possum!

  • AmyWinelake

    I’m totally going out on a limb here and saying Courtney Cox for no real reason. Just thought of her when I was reading this

    • FamousPeopleDoStupidThings

      Sorry to hear about your namesake, Amy.

      • gippercat

        Yeah, I’m kind of bummed. I always hoped Amy would sober up and make more great music. The tabloid jackals will miss her intoxicated hijinks. She would’ve benefited from a Britney Spearsesque conservatorship arrangement and forced rehab.

      • amagod121

        Ditto, FamousPeopleDoStupidThings. I always thought that AmyWinelake’s takeoff on Amy Winehouse was so cute and now it just makes me sad. I loved Amy and am so sorry to know that she’s truly gone. I know she had her problems but she was so unique. And so darned young for such a tragic end. Siiiiigh.

  • Marina

    I’m with Emmy Rossum guess!

    • GoesInCircles

      She does have double letters in both her first and last names as do the AIAs…but the Latina flair of some the hints through me off. And Adam Duritz is not a pretty boy by any means.

    • dee123

      Agree with Emmy Rossum.

    • Sanguine

      Emmy hasn’t done movies in a while though, she’s starring in a TV show right now, called Shameless. She also earned a Golden Globe nomination for her role in Phantom of the Opera, so I wouldn’t say she can’t act…

      • cocobeannns

        Jennifer Aniston won an Emmy, so that’s not really saying much! And it doesn’t say the movies were recent.

        I think she’s a good guess.

      • Sanguine

        She hasn’t done a movie in over 2 years though, she’s been on television – you’d think the blind would mention that she’s moved from movies to TV, not to mention her music. It could be her and Ted just doesn’t know much about what she does, though.

  • Tru Tru2

    christina a

    she did the whole sympathy thing, he’s boring and supposedly rughed her up etc.

    she is kinda twichy when she performs…

    • Sanguine

      I don’t think it’s Christina: Jordan isn’t after her money (his family is very, very wealthy); she’s only starred in one movie; I don’t think Ted would call her an “awfully pretty girl” given how rough she’s looked lately; and Christina allegedly cheated with multiple people – including girls – not just one “pretty boy.”

  • Tru Tru2

    I so want it to be Jho, I am sick of her fakeness…and blaming everything on skelly.

  • TropStorm

    I was thinking Megan Fox until I read break-up in the last line

  • apple martini

    It’s not Jennifer Lopez, she’s rock-solid for another BV.
    Really not sure on this one.

  • cocobeannns

    It’s not J-Lo. Just convenient timing.

    I like the Alba guess, but I haven’t heard of them splitting… Other than that, I have no clue!

  • KWDragon

    On the Emmy Rossum (Possum) guess. I could get on board with this. The wave clue could point to Poseidon; “awfully pretty girl, sure as hell” perhaps Phantom? The Latina blind name could reference her work in Carmen. Her disaster movies didn’t do great box office, nor were they critically acclaimed. Since Jessica Alba isn’t divorcing, guess Emmy will have to do.

  • Marissa

    Usually the syllables in each name match up…the only recently split up woman I can think of whose name fits is Tea Leoni. Thought she was getting a lot of sympathy because David D. was/is a porn addict. Elizabeth Hurley is also recently divorced, and she’s done her share of horrible movies. Those are my 2 best guesses.

    Maybe Adrianne Curry + Chris Knight but I doubt it…he’s boring, & she’s done a couple of really low grossing movies. “Possum” could reference her white trash origins in Joliet, IL.

    • melissakoz

      I love this guess! Double letters in first and last name. He is boring and loyal and she get a little ‘loca’ sometimes. He also has money from Brady Bunch and what does she have now? Awfully pretty as in she won ANTM cycle 1.

      • Outlineboy

        I can tell you he has ZERO money from the Brady Bunch… none of the kids do. I kinda like this guess, but he was actually pretty successful in the software industry (plus he did land himself a hot chick half his age!) so I don’t know if we can call him a “loser”… and has she made any movies at all ??

      • melissakoz

        Wow really? Thats unfortunate but I guess most child actors from that time have well known financial troubles. She did do a few movies that I’ve never heard of as per IMDB. Not sure about the “million nervous personal twitches” though..

      • The Truth Fairy

        How many movies has Adrienne Curry been in? Zero. Doesn’t fit.

    • Munchkin

      I think by now just about everyone in the UK and Australia knows about Liz Hurley and Shane Warne. Warne may have been a world champion sportsman but I don’t think he’s every been called pretty.

  • escape2

    Curious to know…what have the AIAs got in common?

  • awynhaus

    What about Jessica Simpson?

  • smile83

    i have a new guess: olivia wilde.

  • Tru Tru2

    after some much needed sleep, I am adding Eva Longoria to the pot..I don’t trust her finger pointing at Tony P..

    and she has never been innocent and sweet as she tries to portray.

    I know someone that went to college with her, shared a house w/her and several girls..and after being treated like the ugly girl–has married better than her and has a nice lil family…but her past dealings with her still sting, I can tell…she still talks about being left out of invites because she was not thin or as pretty as she is now.

    stay cool everyone

  • justguessing2

    Definitely Jennifer Lopez. Girl can’t act. Always flips her hair & has this nervous laugh because she can never think of anything meaningful to say. The “loca” part is a clue to her being latina. Pretty boy is in reference to the guy in her video who supposedly has an std so wtf was she thinking??? As far as the wave of sympathy for her “sad” divorce, sounds to me like she made a deal with the gossip mags because none of us are buying it. She has shown that she is always looking for the next best thing which makes me think she has some major personal issues & instead of working on those she moves to the next man to make her feel better than the one she is currently with. Sad considering they now have kids. I bet Ben Affleck is thankful he dodged that bullet!

  • shopgirlnola

    Are Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green still together? The descriptions suit them to a tee!

  • jokerjim65

    Adrianne Curry and her Brady boy. “million twitches” twitch=tweets, she tweets all day every day, awfully pretty=won ANTM, she has gone off the deep end many times and Christopher Knight always stood by her.

  • rhchapin

    Marc Anthony wasnt ‘loyal’. He cheated on Jennifer Lopez with a stewardess.

    • akajenb

      Marc divorce wasn’t final when he cheated with Jho, i guess karma is a you know what.Alicia keys is next..The same way you get a cheating man, the same way you will lose him.lol

  • CheshireKitty

    If only Michelle Rodriguez was married and busting up…. because God, how I could see this fitting her, right down to her movies “not usually” making money or getting good reviews…

  • Montana

    I would be on board with Curry and Knight…but she hasn’t been in any movies.

  • Tracy511

    Jaime Pressly…for something different…

  • cocobeannns

    When did Adrianne Curry become an actress?!

  • gmathew85

    Jessica Alba? She seems to be the awkward type, and she does have a loser husband.

  • SallytheSnoop

    I’ll go with Ashley Simpson on this one

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