How She Plans to Get Better Roles

CDAN – This former almost A list female television actress and now a struggling C+ movie actress has been trying to get some good roles again. Her plan? She has been sleeping with different agents, producers and directors on an almost nightly basis.

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89 comments to How She Plans to Get Better Roles

  • Spikearoo

    Aniston, FTW!

    • FzFz

      I have a hard time seeing her as anything below A list

      • Maybe

        Yeah I could maybe justify dropping her to B+ with some recent stinkers, but in no context is she a C.

      • Caz1310

        Her movies are C quality :) No serious movie studio doing a A+++ movie looking for a stellar cast would consider poor Jen. She’s stuck in bad rom-com hell.

      • ILoveDlisted

        Jen is NOT A list, her movies are garbage, she can’t act

      • Barry

        she plays the same character in every movie: the put-upon, otherwise successful woman who cannot get/understand/hold a man which is 10% her fault and 90% society and the man.
        she is unwatchable unless “I’ll be there for you” immediately precedes her. and even that is old.

    • galactica

      Aniston has her own production company that why she keep cranking out lame-o romantic comedies.

      • Dont Know For Sure

        She’s the one responsible for those movies? Maybe she’s into masochism too.

      • Voltron 2000

        Cant keep a Maniston was on one of the biggest sitcoms in tv history and is definitely considered A list, her movies may bomb but shes still on a top celeb and hollywood top crop

  • cassandra

    maria bello? katherine heigl?

  • hobo77

    Katherine Heigel

    • Gitano

      Heigl is one of the highest paid rom-com stars in the movies these days, love her or hate her. So she’s at least b-list.

  • Cherise

    I thought of Jennifer Aniston. Others who came to mind were Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

    • stinkweed

      SMG just had a baby. She’s probably too tired to sleep with her gorgeous hubby, much less a cast of producers and agents.

  • tdslf

    Michelle Williams

  • tdslf

    Hayden Pantinnere or pantyline.

  • tdslf

    Debra Messing

  • tdslf

    Heidi Montag

  • cndngrl

    I thought Jen Aniston too. “Plan” could refer to Plan B which is the production company she founded with Brad Pitt.

    No way Heidi Montag was ever close to A list…

  • Mindy

    Courtney Cox

  • Heywood Jablowme

    What a coincidence! World famous director, Heywood Jablowme just announced production of his new thriller Adventures in… um… Heywoodland!! With sweeping vistas, shot in multiple locations in and around the Jablowme sound stage… and a queen sized futon, it’s the story of a man, his camcorder and a dream. I’m now auditioning former A- list hottie… serious actresses for the co-starring role. Auditions are at the Jablowme production offices, Apt 3A. Please don’t disturb the neighbors, Mrs. Kupchek in 3B calls the cops. SHE’S A PHILISTINE WHO DOESN’T APPRECIATE ART!!

    I smell Oscar!! He’s in 4A. The man does not bathe. I mean, really, that’s just not right.

  • Phie

    Jessica Alba? I’m not entirely sure if she was considered an A list TV star during Dark Angel.. but she could be considered a C+ movie actress. And with all her *-talking interviews, she is definitely after good movie roles.

    • Hmmm

      Agreed, Alba.

    • BrightStar

      Ah, yeah, I just tried to post a comment with a link to a recent interview (it’s being moderated). She’s a stupid cow.

      • Guesswhat

        I’m on board.

      • Booby Jones

        Her interviews are hilariously bad. She once said in one that she was only going to speak to her child in spanish after it was born and kick anyone out of the room who spoke english around the baby. Nice idea, except for the fact that she doesn’t speak a word of it herself.

  • Ralphie

    I’m going to go with Sarah Michelle Gellar…think the key here is “good roles again” being that the actress once got decent parts. Plus I’ve never bought Freddie Printz Jr as straight.

    • Ruby

      I like this guess. Her career definitely fits the description in the item, and she has a reputation for being very ambitious and not very nice.

      Also married to a lump.

  • antiaphrodite

    People may not like Heigl, but she is in no way a C-list actress. More like B-list. I also have a hard time picturing her sleeping around for parts.


    Olivia Wilde? Although Barton’s probably the best guess. Maybe Bilson?

  • BrightStar

    Jessica Alba – Got her start on Flipper and Dark Angel. I would say that back in 2000-2002 she was “almost A list” for Dark Angel. She got nominated for a bunch of awards for it.

    She has done really crap movies, though, except for (in my opinion) Sin City and um… Sin City.

    And she just did that interview where she said she wants to get better roles:

    In the same interview she says that “good actors never use the scripts,” which seems like an awesome way to never get hired. I feel like she’ll need to sleep with a LOT of people to get past that quote.

    • BrightStar

      And when I say nominated for a bunch of awards, I mean random meaningless-other-than-for–popularity awards.

  • Sweetie Tart Pie

    First time posting!

    The first person that came to mind was Kristen Bell.

  • Melina

    Alyssa Milano

  • Rach

    Jennifer Garner?

  • KellyinNY

    I’m surprised no one has said Gretchen Mol.

  • cooper263

    Everyone in La La Land

  • Gast84

    Sharon Stone.

  • anonymous

    I was surprised how much TV work she did, so yeah, it could be. She is involved in four upcoming films, so…maybe her clever plan is working!

  • loco

    Amanda Bynes

  • Ruby Red Lips

    Mischa Barton or Hayden Paniettere

    For all those guessing Jessica Alba, she is way above a C list movie star! I mean c’mon!

  • anonymous

    Gillian Anderson

    • Celimene

      No. Gillian Anderson is doing a lot of critically acclaimed theatre work in the UK. She started in theatre, and will likely stay there. She does films on occasion but I think her heart in stage work.

  • loon

    Rachel Bilson

  • Diva E

    I like the Hayden guess. She was insanley popular on that Heros show a few years ago. Now she only does crappy highschool movies

  • Marina

    People, when you pick a married actress as your guess – how do you picture her sleeping around on a nightly basis? Please, be realistic …

  • Hampton

    Aniston-you are crazy all of you. with her money she could just uy the studio. Mischa was never A-list. Heigel has no money worries and continues to be successful with middle america no matter how much you dislike her. Lisa Kudrow-Friends (money) SMG has Buffy money and doesn’t need to work unless Freddie wants a new Bentley Spur.Bilson maks money being a beard for various boys.Could be pantyhose-who knows if her russian is generous. and miss bell is desperate to ddo veronica mars movie. miser alba needs to support her husband. A list network or cable? of course its Paris Hilton or Tila Tequila.

  • shesnotagirl

    She was my first thought too.

  • Hampton

    Aniston-you are crazy all of you. with her money she could just buy the studio. Mischa was never A-list. Heigl has no money worries and continues to be successful with middle America no matter how much you dislike her. Lisa Kudrow-Friends (money) SMG has Buffy money and doesn’t need to work unless Freddie wants a new Bentley Spur.Bilson makes money being a beard for various boys.Could be pantyhose-who knows if her Russian is generous. and miss Bell is desperate to do veronica mars movie. miser Alba needs to support her husband. A list network or cable? of course its Paris Hilton or Tila Tequila.

  • Ahorsenamedbill

    1st guess is Debra Messing – based on the pic of the blue couch in the pic and her last show which was almost good enough to get renewed… That and I think she’s coke mom – so desperation for the hwood lifestyle & possible need for $
    2nd guess is Sharon Stone based on how many projects she has in production- she’s kinda been over for a while/why soooo many projects??

  • Ahorsenamedbill

    Forgot to mention Will&Grace hAd a blue couch

  • hopefulromantic

    I’m going with Aniston. 1) A list television actress, 2) C list movie actress (she hasn’t had a hit since The Break Up), 3) the blue couch is reference to the infamous Friends couch that the opening montage incorporates.

    • Pickle

      Because of the couch reason, I’m now convinced it’s Jennifer Aniston. Good job!

      • insider1970

        I will add that Jennifer Aniston owns along with Brad Pitt and Brad Grey “Plan B” production company, and this is maybe why the word “plan” is used often in the blind.

    • mbm2

      Aniston’s A list TV, B-list movie. she did the round of the casting couch pre-Friends. now Angelina on the other hand…

      my guess: Mischa Barton (The OC was Fox’s top show until she left)

  • anonymous

    I would be amused if it WAS Aniston. The thought of her * herself around (and she herself being richer than all of us put together) to get “good roles” makes me giggle. Is that how one gets good roles though? Is there a secret stash of good roles secretly locked up by the H’Wood bigwigs that they will release ONLY to those celebs that will put out?

  • nancy

    jen aniston was not an ‘almost A lister’. more like a solid A lister.

    • I guess

      Yup, this is why I don’t think it’s Jen. Her latest movies may be simple rom-com but they are made cheaply and always break even or better. She has big money. If she really wanted she could be in nothing but “deep” indie movies, she just doesnot care enough.

      • ILoveDlisted

        There are alot of stars with LOTS of money that are NOT A list. Shes prob trying to get that Oscar role, break out of the predictable rom com

  • Leah

    Blake Lively

  • Mrs. Darcy

    Mischa Barton or Rachel Bilson

  • the gun

    Meg ryan or lucy liu!

  • Cecilia

    Melissa joan heart!!! WTF happened to her????

    • Caz1310

      oh good guess! I’m sure I read something somewhere indicating she’s gone completely off the rails and is desperate to work again…

      • melba

        Please, she is starring on my ultimate guilty pleasure, Melissa and Joey, on ABC Family. Clarissa Explains it All is in a hilarious Who’s the Boss live-in housekeeper/nanny situation with Joey Lawrence. It is every bit as cheesy as any early 90s sit com, and I’m obsessed.

  • Dont Know For Sure

    Neve Campbell. She could be taking her role in “Wild Things” (I think that’s the movie) too literally.


    Jessica Biel? This is a little bit of a stretch but the A-team’s tagline had “plan” in it and she was in “Powder Blue.”

  • spooky

    Megan Mullaly or however you spell it

  • lydiavance

    Misha was also my first though. This is almost certainly her.