EOnline – 
There lies a point when the debauched dalliances of our more storied Blind Vice celebs turn from sultry to sad. And it sure is getting that way, fast, for our beloved closeted movie idol, Crotch Uh-Lastic.
Poor Crotch. He used to amuse us all so much, by divining these ultra-elaborate k*nky sex hook-ups, totally hot and daring stuff! But no more.
Now, Crotch is just plain ol’ stupid:
Many of Crotch’s close friends, colleagues and reps are hugely worried about the handsome dude. He’s starting to do dumb things. He tweaks out all night, doesn’t sleep, and then stumbles his way through interviews the next day.
Now, it’s nothing new for Crotch to weirdly work his way through a chat with a journo—it’s always been a charming side to the dimpled boy. But now all charm’s been replaced by hollow eyes and listless pale skin.
“He’s losing it,” emphasizes a close confidant, adding Crotch’s sexual escapades are “practically out in the open” to people in the business now. No one knows what’s really going on up in Lastic’s lonesome abode because he’s exiling those close to him, beard included, who has stuck by him through a lot.
And it’s not just risk-taking hook-up scenes, which we’ve mentioned before. But now the not-eating, staying up all night Hollywood way of living seems to have completely, sadly, taken over Crotch’s very hunky existence.
Thing is it’s not like Crotch is partying his talent away. You definitely won’t see him out at the clubs with Leonardo DiCaprio’s bromantic crew. Instead, CU-L is just isolating himself, ignoring calls for days, and appearing wackier and wackier whenever he mingles in with the real world.
Uh-Lastic doesn’t even bother with the beard significant other anymore. No wonder the guy’s been freaking people out lately with his career. Huge waste.
And It Ain’t: Zac Efron, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Cruise
James Franco
It’s got to be. He’s getting weirder and weirder.
I don’t know if it’s a clue or not, but “closeted movie idol” made me think of James Dean. James Franco’s breakout movie role was playing James Dean.
Yes, obviously. I’m assuming that Ted C’s comment about “pale skin” and “appearing wackier and wackier” is a reference to James Franco’s appearance in drag on the cover of Candy magazine this week.
Also, note that the very next blog post Ted C has run today is about James Franco in drag! Fancy that, what a coincidence!
Now, either we’re all wrong and Ted C is taking us for fools, or he’s being blatantly obvious with the clues. I tend towards the latter – he sounds upset in this BV, and when he’s disappointed with a celeb he seems to get blatant.
does he actually have dimples. I couldn’t find a pic with one.
Does james franco have a beard though?
According to Wiki he’s been dating actress Ahna O’Reilly since 2006.
I don’t think it’s Franco….
Based on his academic achievement, clearly he is a genius. Does this sound like someone who is mentally fragile to you?…
(copied from Wiki)
Franco reportedly has “an unusually high metabolism for productivity…a superhuman ability to focus”.[2] Dissatisfied with his career’s direction,[2] Franco reenrolled at UCLA in fall 2006 as an English major with a creative writing concentration. Having received permission to take as many as 62 course credits per quarter compared to the normal limit of 19[53] while continuing to act, he received his undergraduate degree in June 2008 with a GPA over 3.5.[53][2][54] For his degree, Franco prepared his departmental honors thesis as a novel under the supervision of Mona Simpson.[2][55] He moved to New York to simultaneously attend graduate school at Columbia University’s MFA writing program, New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts for filmmaking,[56][57][58][59] and Brooklyn College for fiction writing,[53] while occasionally commuting to North Carolina’s Warren Wilson College for poetry.[2] Franco is currently a PhD student in English at Yale University[60] and will also attend the Rhode Island School of Design.[2]
There’s a thin line between genius and insanity.
You have a point.
I was thinking the same thing.
Many brilliant people lose it.
I know someone who attended top universities, top grades, several awards and publications, and went totally whackadoodle at the end of her professional degree.
Mental illness can affect anyone.
Plus he spends a lot of time sleeping in class. Remember that picture of him snoozing that a classmate snapped, think it was at UCLA.
i want to take a nap after just reading that. that’s insane.
There’s no way he’s doing all his work himself. He’s hiring people to do the bulk of it. What sickens me is that the school is getting on board with it. No one can take over 2 years worth of college in one semester. Most schools require special permission to take 18+ credits, and that’s usually to take just one additional class.
He’s cheating, and the schools’ complicity is offensive to me.
Yeah. And interesting, considering this comment someone left on the Awful Truth message board:
Franco, obviously. Old news, but currently interesting I suppose due to the drag spread he just did in Candy mag. Franco’s gf is rumored to be cool with being used, agrees possibly in order to further her “acting” career–currently she’s filming the movie “The Help” and likely wants to continue to climb the success ladder. All who know Franco well, also know his partner, Vince well. V. I’m told is over the-top-possessive, with jealousy that rivals any girl. He is rumored to have been the man in question on the Canadian film set whom Franco took with him–having supposedly lived with Franco for the last decade. I’m told Franco behaves lately as if he has lost what was left of his mind….not just based on weariness and/or lack of sleep. Keeping secrets while trying to appear completely transparent must be exhausting. There is also the rumor of his having resumed a nasty habit for which he obtained help awhile back–but which he has now given up on trying to avoid. A shame, he’s sad.
hmm.
sometimes i can’t understand what ted is saying, but i love his creativity.
Kellan Lutz for fun ans wishfull thinking on my part.
Nevermind it say well respected thespian. I will go with Hayden Christensen instead.
LOL
he’s judas jack off, I believe
Ted said a year and a half ago that Hayden was a BV. And one of the Supernatural boys is Judas Jack-Off.
who watches supernatural anyway?
Noooo!!! James, please pull it together!!! I love youuu!!!
It makes me think of Jake Gyllenhaal(dimples, well respected Thespian) but isn’t he supposed to be “Toothy Tile” or something? I did see a recent pic, however, and he sure didn’t look too great.
Bearded, pale, thin, and I don’t think he’s been seen with any women since Reese….just throwin’
it out there for discussion….
I think that’s an interesting interpretation, and I firmly believe that Ted Casablanca applies more than one moniker to a celeb when need be otherwise it’d be easier to figure out his items, but I get the feeling that Jakey Poo is in a funk more than a drug addiction.
I guess this means he’s developed a meth problem. That’s really unfortunate because that stuff does reall nasty stuff over the short term and even if he kicks it, there will be remaining issues. If he is tweaking, he’s probably having very unsafe sex. I don’t know if this is Franco because it doesn’t look like he’s aged significantly in a short period of time. Sigh. Don’t do meth, people!
They all have blue eyes…hooded blue eyes. Zac Efron, Leo and Tom…who else has similar eyes???
Yeah it has to be James Fraco or Joaquin…his latest movie is said to be a trip….
wait it said ‘dimples’ he has to have dimples. James doesnt really have dimples and neither does Joaquin (who for the most part doesnt fit the clues)…
and lol I keep replying to myself…
P diddy is in the AIA’s he doesnt fit either.. and based on the post and interview with 3am from Dlisted : I say its Kanye West all the way. Kanye on why his line of * bottle holsters for the fashion elite hasn’t come out yet: “I promised I wouldn’t tear up… but have you heard of a little thing called Lindsay Lohan’s Ungaro collection? That was like the 9/11 of fashion. It was game over for me after that as no one would take a celebrity trying to do fashion seriously. Being discriminated because I’m a rapper at fashion week. I quit music for six months because fashion did not take me seriously.”
Kanye on how he’s saying “BYE *” to the whole Taylor Swift scandal: “She still hasn’t hit me up. I’m over that. I’m an artist and I’m all about my movie now and am leaving that behind. Most people will be like, ‘I guess it’s OK Beyonce’s video didn’t win.’ That’s not me. After the MTV thing I quit doing music. I had to get back into the world’s grace. I went to Japan, Hawaii, to get away. I thought I was going to give it all up. It’s only through divine intervention that I am here today.”
Kanye on making a movie about The Simpsons or Big Bird: “I don’t want to be put in the hip-hop box, I’m an artist. Hopefully I’ll hook up with George Lucas and do a film about yellow people with beaks.”
Kanye on Kanye: “Investing in me is like investing in art.”
Kanye on I don’t even know…: “I’m like a tree, I feed the branches of the people.”
P diddy is in the AIA’s he doesnt fit either.. and based on the post and interview with 3am from Dlisted : I say its Kanye West all the way. Amber as the beard.
Kanye said: “I promised I wouldn’t tear up… but have
Kanye on how he’s saying “BYE B*” to the whole Taylor Swift scandal: After the MTV thing I quit doing music. I had to get back into the world’s grace. I went to Japan, Hawaii, to get away. I thought I was going to give it all up. It’s only through divine intervention that I am here today.”
Kanye on making a movie about The Simpsons or Big Bird: “I don’t want to be put in the hip-hop box, I’m an artist. Hopefully I’ll hook up with George Lucas and do a film about yellow people with beaks.”
Kanye on Kanye: “Investing in me is like investing in art.”
Kanye on I don’t even know…: “I’m like a tree, I feed the branches of the people.”
That’s what I’m thinking, Lalalalaaa…James doesn’t have dimples. And who would his beard be? I’m thinking Hayden Christensen with Rachel Bilson as the beard. Although, I don’t see dimples on Hayden either??
Long time lurker, first time posting—I Love BG!
Hi Kelli! Love, BG
Franco does have dimples
http://www.voote.com/jsp/WAppServerPage.jsp?TransID=RVOTES00&VoteID=7893
So those laugh lines qualify as dimples? I was looking more for indentations in the skin. Well, either way everything else seems to point to this being Franco. Hayden isn’t famous enough.
I get the feeling sometimes adjectives like “dimpled” are tossed in to Ted’s blinds just to throw us off. I don’t think his self-professed strict BV etiquette always applies to the descriptors, just the names and the crucial details.
I know if *I* were trying to build a little gossip mystery, I’d mix in some red herrings among the facts just to keep a healthy level of confusion among my readers (and the celebrities’ lawyers!). Given that, I never focus too much on the “set dressing” in what Ted writes, just the main characters and the plot.
Although the face cheeks aren’t the only place one can be “dimpled” – he could be referring to Franco’s posterior!
I was thinking the chin. someone can have a dimpled chin. but Franco doesn’t qualify for that either.
Well hello Jeffery Dean Morgan.
Keanu Reeves?
Tyler Perry
This has always been James Franco. Sad though, his on my top 5 definitely-would-hw!
Robert Pattinson. Could his symptoms mirror his vampire roles? Pale skin, up all night, hollow eyes?
Two words: Nevis. Divine.
Jesse Metcalfe?
He’s already been two different BVs.
Shhh!!!! Troll alert!:)
I’ve been contributing here for over a year now, which Beej can prove with the e-mail address I use. I’ve never trolled. However, for you, I’ll make an exception.
Must be another anonymous!
And I don’t think you are using the word “contributing” correctly.
I’m sorry, but isn’t the objective of this exercise to guess this correctly? You’re not correct, I’m telling you why, and you consider that to be trolling? You are one Special Snowflake, aren’t you?
And, yeah, I’ve been contributing here a great deal. For one example, check out the last Priscilla Desert thread.
Can you expand on “special snowflake”, please? I’m sure it’s enthralling.
Forgot to take my own advice….”Shh!!! Troll Alert!!!! “
Sorry- item says “beloved”
LMAO
Orlando Bloom
He’s Harland Fuss.
tobey macguire… remember spiderman 2? “it rides up in the crotch” (or something like that)
didn’t he used to run with leo?
No, previous blind says it’s not Tobey.
ahh… just saw that… damn, it fit
what i dont care for (if this is indeed FRANCO) is that the blinds are always like “come out already”, or “be yourself!”
and then when ted writes an article about him they mock franco and call him weird… that cover he did in drag was AWESOME! let the man do his thing..
HERE HERE!
Kevin Bacon? I don’t really have a reason why.
Lukas Haas?
That career was wasted a long time ago.
John Travolta? He has dimples…
He’s Seymour Plow-Me-More.
LMAO
I don’t know, but am thinking “dimpled” could mean dimpled chin, too.
What about Colin Farrel, Gerard Butler or Stephen Dorff?
All have:
1. dimples
2. bizarre interviews
3. well documented sexual hook-ups
4. sometimes look good, sometimes look like 9 miles of bad road.
I like the Colin Ferrel guess!
Third that.
Colin Farrell is respected, & well-known actor.
it be sad if true. he’s been sober a while. if he is no longer… well, that’s painful.
If Colin Farrell were no longer sober, I can’t believe other gossip columns wouldn’t be talking about it. (For sure Lainey would be writing about it, if only just to scold him. She loves him and it’s clear she’s not impressed with druggies.) My take on Colin is that he’s grown up and settled down in ways that eliminate him as a guess for this BV. I’m glad, because I’m a fan too, ever since “In Bruges”.
Now after recent events, how about Charlie Sheen?
joaquin phoenix (sp?) as lately gone crazy, doesnt seem to be much of a blind though.
That was revealed to be an act for his mockumentary.
I think it’s Joaquin also.
He has dimples; he is well known for giving odd interviews at movie premieres, even before his whole “I’m Still Here” craziness–during a red carpet for “Walk the Line” he asked a reporter if he had a large frog in his hair. He is very quiet about his personal life but supposedly he has a non-show biz g/f…
The not Leo I guess could reference Joaquin’s role in the biopic of J. Edgar Hoover as Leo’s gay lover…. Even after revealing the whole hip-hop thing was a hoax, he’s still a pretty weird dude.
James Franco is so beautiful I don’t care if he’s crazy
right on.
Hugh Grant! just a guess, but it works for me
Didn’t James Franco fall asleep during an interview? Or was this a BI of an actor falling asleep and I’m thinking it is him because he’s being talked about so much? His career is bizarre now with his staring on General Hospital, Pineapple Express…
i want to go on-record saying Pineapple Express is awesome. not bizarre, AWESOME.
i’m with you.
and he has great chances to be nod for Oscar with “127 hours”
i write it but i believe he’s Franco
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Christian Bale? The Batman suit has a weird crotch region. And he used to be talented but now he just goes around acting like an a-hole. ?
nm, just saw that it isn’t Bale. =/
James Franco has two movies coming out in 2011. Doesn’t sound like he’s isolating himself.
and he’s been all giggly and smiling in interviews – not what i’d call hollow and listless
Maybe Jim Carey? … heard he was going a bit crazy and that is why Jenny McCarthy left him.
He crossed my mind too.
Seann William Scott
Bite your tongue Boo Boo, bite your tongue!!!!
Sorry Ashton, I hope it’s not him either.
Joaquin Phoenix is Crisp Lisp
James Franco is Crotch Uh-Lastic
Crisp Lisp? I dunno. But Brain-Fry Noodlestein, oh, yeah.
Crisp Lisp is a 2006 BV and it fits Joaquin Phoenix before he was faux crazy.
http://www.laineygossip.com/Colin_Farrell_Elton_John_Joaquin_Phoenix_Joaquin_Phoenix_maybe_gaybe.aspx
He does fit Crisp somewhat. I just don’t think he fits Crisp as well as he does Noodlestein during the faux-crazy. But I think we both can agree that he’s not Crotch.
shia?
Franco clue?
I was wondering from this quote in the blind, “He used to amuse us all so much, by divining these ultra-elaborate k*nky sex hook-ups, totally hot and daring stuff! But no more.”, if the word “divining” was a drag reference for Divine? At first when I saw the word, I immediately thought John Travolta. But I guess he doesn’t fit, so Franco doing the drag magazine cover leads me to believe it’s Franco.
James Franco popped into my head right away while I was reading this. Although he might not have dimples, he is gorgeous… maybe talking about his dimples is just a reference to his beautiful smile.
Something that really stood out to me was “CU-L”… didn’t James go to UCLA for an English degree? This jumped out at me right away.
Nice catch , Mary!
I hate to suggest it because I’ll have to rethink my future marriage plans but I’m guessing Kevin Zegers. He has blue eyes that are practically sex on fire, dimples, he dated Kaley Cuoco a few years ago but they broke up & he’s got a girlfriend names Jamie I think, though they’re rarely ever seen out together. He’s also best friends with Nick Carter, Shawn Ashmore, etc.
He got rave reviews for Transamerica, 50 dead men walking, he recently auditioned for MI4 with Tom Cruise, he’s doing Gossip Girl with Chase Crawford who is bff’s with Zefron, and he’s been compared to Leo in a few interviews before.
I’m sticking with Kevin, though it breaks my heart. I’ll still be his beard. No shame.
Kevin Zegers is hawt!!
Didn’t know Chace was bffs with Zefron….!?
Yes the CU-L gives it away for UCLA where he went to school. Man, Franco is sooooo charming, I could watch him in anything and he just has a way about him that makes me love his characters. Charm for days which he obviously skating by on now. Hope he pulls through.
james franco, the next heath. so sad.
Don’t say that!!
I hope not.
Ashton Kutcher… exiling his beard, Demi. Dimples, check. Pale skin, check. Acting dumb and weird? Check.
Well-respected thespian? No. Un-check.
Ashton’s always acted dumb and weird. . . the blind states that this is recent behavior.
Franco is too obvious-think way outsie the box.Lukas Haas is Leo’s gofer and he does look like a wraith. The Brit boys are always a good guess, McGregor, Law,Rhys-Myers, Everett. Think of all the photos you have seen recently on E, CDAN, Perez etc. Who looks wasted. How about Casey Affleck or….And its not Orlando Bloom or his wife. Dressed like smelly homeless bums they were denied entrance to the Hotel de Crillon in Paris. Its about time movie stars dressed like movie stars
I throw my hat in the ring for Joaquin too. That blind mentions beard too often not too. That thing was all people were talking about forever with him.
Bradley Cooper.
What about Joseph Gorgon Leavitt?
*Gordon
I thought of John Stamos for some reason….
I thought of Elijah Woods, the term journo, refers to jurnalists in England, Elijah played a role in Greenstreet Hooligans, where he was studying to be a jounalist, and it’s about soccer/football?
that was an awesome movie. they go all crazy when they realize he’s a writer – “he’s a f*in journo!!”
good guess, i like it!
Why has noone mentioned George Clooney? What’s his blind name? Must have missed it…
I thought of Tobey Maguire he and Leo used to be bffs and when I googled him it says he has moved in with a guy as in its public knowledge. If its not Maguire definitely Franco when I googled Tobey Maguire James Franco came up because of spiderman.
Maybe I am thinking too young hollywood, but I want to guess Mitchel Musso BG ! Cause lately he is looking very pale and has lost lots of weight, but that could be jus becuase of drug use, not positive thou.
I want to also guess sterling knight BG !
Jaoquin Phoenix.
jared leto?
Cody Linley BG !
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