EOnline – Something our dear, closeted Toothy Tile most certainly does not share with his also-in-the-closet brethren like Lloyd Boy-Toyed, Crotch Uh-Lastic and Jackie Bouffant is a virtual cornucopia of straight buds.
I don’t mean the pretend kind, but the ones you never see Toothy photographed with. Yeah, you heard me right: These are heterosexual bros with whom Toothy loves to shoot the shit, have a few brews, talk about the broads, all that 100-percent-cotton American man stuff Toothy just can’t seem to let go from his, like, totally gay life.
OK, it’s cool, I have tons (maybe a few) gay friends who are completely into the SUVs/watching sports/unshowered thing, maybe it’s not so completely weird that Toothy’s wired that way a little, too?
But what’s wacko is when these boy-buds o’ Toothy’s start, shockingly…
…coming to the put-upon pooftah’s defense! At parties! At bars! At ball games! At beach barbecues! It’s getting friggin’ hi-larious!
And no, these dudes who actually do know Toothy rather well are not defending Mr. Tile’s very publicized fauxmance and whether or not it’s legitimate, hardly.
Nope, instead, they’re busy saying, as of late, that Toothy and his man are doin’ just fine, thank you, and further more, “They’re the real thing.” These het amigos like to tell this to anybody who starts talking crap about their good friend.
Backstabbing gossip gets these hetero friends of Toothy’s so very riled up, they’ve lately been stating how “in love” Mr. and Mr. Toothy Tile happen to be right now. So there!
Wow. With friends like that, who needs gossip columns? But ain’t it nice to now how truly true-blue Toothy is?
I knew it all along, didn’t you?
I mean, come on, I would never have given a hateful scum-schmuck such press. Toothy’s cool. Just currently a bit lost.
And It Ain’t: James Marsden, Kellan Lutz, Javier Bardem
Does anyone even guess at these anymore?
I’m so tired of Ted C. and Toothy. I haven’t posted a comment on his Awful Truth in a week. I’m trying to keep myself off his mess. I don’t know if Jake is gay but his harassment of him is cruel. His relevance is long gone.
Tom Cruise?
don’t you know who Toothy T is?
Aw Plum, it’s a newbie! We were all there once!
Are there any names left to guess besides Jake? Seems like Ted has notted every other possibility…
Toothy – Jake Gyllenhaal
Jackie Bouffant – Zac Efron
Lloyd Boy Toyed – John Cusack
Crotch – James Franco
exactly.
Have we officially decided on Cusack for Lloyd, or is Alec Baldwin still an option?
I was leaning towards Baldwin, too.
Yeah you are right. Its not Crusack. It is Baldwin. I should have read it all the way though before i agreed. But the other ones are right.
Cusack??? Oh no you didn’t.
No way. Not Cusack. He doesn’t play for that team. No-effin-way.
I’m with you. There is NO WAY Cusack plays for the other team. I would believe Alec Baldwin before I would believe John Cusack.
i always thought Lloyd was Alec Baldwin too…and Ted had a fling with him a long while ago…cool, huh!
Yup. This HAS to be Alec Baldwin. Ted had a major crush on him and was always saying that. He also says that Lloyd Boy Toyed has been fighting with practically everyone in Hollywood even his own family. Alec Baldwin has fought with practically every member of his family: Kim, his daughter, brother Stephen. Not to mention fighting with Tina Fey and claiming that he would leave the US if Bush was elected President (which of course he didn’t do). He picks fights with as many people as Rosie O’Donnell does. Has to be Baldwin.
and Shafterella Shoshstein = Reese
Does Tom Cruise have a moniker?
Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything? Cusack for sure.
I think Ted wrote this blind just to tell us that Toothy and his boyfriends is still together and or doing great. And if people don’t know Toothy is Jake and his Boyfriend is Austin Nichols.
Hey, Javier Bardem is a new elimination. The others are repeats. But, honestly, who was guessing Bardem?
perhaps because of Jake G’s new physic in “prince of persia” very “manly” and hairy as Javier Bardem(?)
@plum apparently not! I’m new at this.
sorry! after 2 weeks on this blog,every one is a veteran for me!
James MAArsden + Jake GyllenHAAL both have two consecutive A’s in their names.
Oh my God, this is still the most boring blind in history, though.
Stick a fork in it, Ted. No, better yet, STAB it.
Uh, never mind my theory about the double A’s. I have no idea why BG used that pic of James Marsden. Lots of dudes have names beginning with J. Uh, blue eyes? Is that the connection?
I just have to say it again: this blind, along with all of Ted’s other blinds for the past three years, have been uber-lame.
This has gone on for so long. Does anyone really care anymore? Ted should thank Toothy for keeping him relevant all these years, but enough is enough. We are not stupid HOLLYWOOD. Faux romances, closeted actors, bad behavior behind closed doors-the truth always comes out in the end.
“wacko”. It’s MJ!
Seriously, maybe it is Jake, or maybe this whole thing was made up. But Ted really has to stop harrassing Toothy & find some new material!
alright I know we know it’s all jakey but this just made me laugh!
in the good girl jakeys character or aniston, cant remember but pretty sure its jakeys, says theyre “put-upon.” by their parents or society.
haha, god, this bi is just funny.
Yes it’s Jake, hope he is happy.
Hey vets: everytime Ted posts an item, one of you should repost his code names like Mook just did, it helps to read his items, as they can be quite confusing & wordy
just sayin’
it’s Robert Pattison, his buddies are who ever he’s hanging out with young hollywood.