His Fake Love Life is Now Up in the Air

matt lance jakeEOnline – Poor Judas J*ck-Off. He now has it as bad as permanently closeted movie star Toothy Tile. Only, I fear Judas is not even pretending to be happy, quite unlike Toothy.

Remember, our very handsome and very unkind Judas is still trying to get the ditched BF to have sex, all the while out prancing to the gullible world with his gorgeous girlfriend—whenever there’s an available photo op, that is.

But whereas Toothy actually likes hanging with the beard at home and out with the kids, Judas doesn’t, at least not as much.

Maybe that’s the reason Judas has suggested to the GF, whom he glumly now lives with, that they should both take up…

…flying. As in, in a plane. As in 37,000 feet in the air. These two beauties are supposed to take their lives in their own hands, all 2012-like, and fly over Los Angeles like it’s a damn movie set, or something?

Now, either this is a true effort on Judas’ part to make their prearranged living arrangement genuinely more exciting (i.e., bearable), or Mr. J.J. is planning on using one of those parachutes that go up with these schooling planes and jumping off with his after the dimpled girlfriend’s chute suddenly disappears, or better, yet, malfunctions?

It’s all just too weird, too much. The sudden interest in having a hobby together (and a life-threatening one, at that), after getting shacked up in a living sitch Judas has never wanted to be in the first place. What’s up, Judey?

But then, some guys are just p–sies when their managers and their agents tell them to stay put and figure out how to make it look real. Know what I mean, Toothy?

Don’t go up in that plane with Judas whatever you do, girlfriend!

And It Ain’t: Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong, Matthew McConaughey

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52 comments to His Fake Love Life is Now Up in the Air

  • Anonymous

    The moment that Jensen Ackles announced his engagement to Danneel Harris, there were people all over gossip blogs stating flat out that Ted’s next blind was going to be Judas Jack-Off or Dashed Dingle-Dream. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

    This is about one inch away from being Solved. Judas is Jared Padalecki.

  • HaHaH

    Nah, both Brad Pitt and Angelina have had previous experience flying planes. I believe she got her pilots license several years ago so it couldn’t be them.

  • Anonymous

    FYI, here are the people already eliminated as Judas Jack-Off: Joe Jonas, Robert Pattinson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Zac Efron, Milo Ventimiglia, Chad Michael Murray, Kellan Lutz, Taylor Kistch, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Orlando Bloom, Zac Efron, Benjamnin McKenzie, Brandon Routh, Ryan Seacrest, Michael C. Hall, Robert Buckley, Keanu Reeves, Ed Westwick, Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Gale Harold, Matt Dallas, Nick Jonas, Tom Welling, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Josh Peck.

    • marissa

      Justin Timberlake is not on that list..?

      But he is off the toothy tile list but not this one?


      • AJ

        I hadn’t considered JT for this Blind untill this post, just something about it suggests it could be him with Jessica.

        However, I think Ted has JT and Jess as Rockbutt and Chutney in this blind:

      • Jalisa

        Did he out them as Rockbutt and Chutney. Because Ted said once he out somebody he gives them a new name. I don’t think this is JT(even though I think he is bisexual) I’m just saying.

      • Anonymous

        Ted never outed JT and Jess as Jerry Rock-Butt and Chutney Jones (and that blind is obviously them), but Judas Jack-Off predates Jerry Rock-Butt, so the renaming wouldn’t apply here even if he did out them.

      • marissa

        Yea that’s him and biel. and I think Justin is a maybe BI too but since his name is not on that list, it makes me wonder if this is him on this one too.

        Maybe not

    • plum

      Zut! until recently,for me judas was hayden c and i changed him for bradley c but i just see judas isn’t bradley c so judas is again hayden c

  • Cherry

    Jake G!! “T.T actually likes hanging with the beard at home and out with the kids”….need more?

  • Cherry

    If these are Jensen and Jared it’s a real shame….Jensen is soooo hot in a manly way not in a Zac Efron-kind of way

    • Leonie

      I agree, Jensen is a hottie and it’ll be a a sad day for women when it really turns out he’s a man’s man!

  • Word Up

    George Clooney

  • eyeroll

    Daneel Harris definitely has dimples.

  • Kiley

    Wrong wrong wrong. JJO = Hayden Christensen. Don’t have to think too hard about the Judas/Christ connection, do you.

    • plum

      i tought like you on Judas/Hayden C but now i ‘m for Judas/Bradley Cooper because the 3 clue-people are over 30 and like sport/bicycle( i saw several pix with Cooper out the gym)

      • i want in

        i thought it was bradley too but the bi states “But whereas Toothy actually likes hanging with the beard at home and out with the kids, Judas doesn’t, at least not as much.” implying the beard has kids?? murder though?!?!

      • KimiD

        No I think Ted’s just referring to TT’s situation. How HIS beard has kids and he actually enjoys doing the family thing which makes the beard situation more believable to the public eye. Where as JJO doesn’t want NONE of that.

  • jaxxon

    I think this whole business is pathetically, disgustingly, depressingly sad that actors(and actresses) can’t simply live their lives and be out… because they’re acting, and none of us in the real world have a chance with these untouchables in RL anyway. And why be so nasty and mean about them, it’s not their fault that the entertainment biz and the public force them into closets.

  • georgia

    Totally hayden chritiansen!

    dimpled gf = rachel bilson!

  • shellbelle

    Yep! It’s Hayden.

    • Alex

      Hayden has always been the main suspect for this blind … i don’t understand why people are even disputing it.

  • Lise

    Yeah, it’s mean to be Jared and Jensen, even though neither are gay and they still live together. Y’all realize Ted hasn’t been right in at least 4 years? He’s making it all up.

    • P

      Ted can be a nut, that’s for sure. But is he right about the real dirt and not just the rumors? Yes. He knows his stuff and is frequently the only rated gossip blogger to speak out. (I don’t count that self promoting ass, Perez, who I swear has no other sources than his own ignorant opinions.) For instanc, Ted created the blind about Shafterella Shoshstein. He’s the only one to talk about her garbage and not promote what her PR team shoves our way. Yes, Ted has predicted break ups that haven’t happened. But he explains, never underestimate the capacity for celebs to take crap from one another if it feeds their public persona.

      • ahorsenamedbill

        Who is Safterella Shoshstein? Give us the background . . .

      • Anonymous

        Shafterella…oh, my. Ted’s done two blinds with her. The first was done after Shafty had a very public break-up, in which she was successfully painted as the victim of a cheating partner. Little did everyone know that she was the one doing the most fooling around, and she and her people spun the situation away from that, leaving Shafty with an image of being the pure, faithful betrayed party.

        In the second blind, Ted revealed that Shafty not only sluts around with guys, but with good-looking women, using tennis the same way that Crotch Uh-Lastic uses swimming pools. Her significant other doesn’t mind, because he’s off with his boyfriend. All the while, Shafty and Toothy…oops, her beard…sorry, her boyfriend…are painting a glowing relationship for the press.

        As you can tell from my little slip, the main guess for Shafterella is Reese Witherspoon.

      • Jalisa

        Wasn’t Shafty also bisexual or was she a full fledge lesbian? Because he said that’s why she s okay with bearding…Cause she can do her thing own thing on the side. He also said that she bearded when she was married also. Her husband liked guys too.

  • grind

    Does Hayden have a hobby of flying? Never heard of that one.

  • shellbelle

    Google Hayden Christensen and flying.

    • Must Mock

      I googled, I think it is him.
      I will NEVER believe that this is a real relationship, many people don’t, so I don’t understand why the charade continues.

  • Mimi

    Yup its Hayden!

  • Krissy

    GEORGE CLOONEY!!! UP IN THE AIR!!! His new movie.

  • Anonymous

    The clue that eliminates both George Clooney and Hayden Christiansen came in a Bitch-Back. A reader wrote in to Ted asking if Chad Michael Murray was Judas. Ted said no, but that Judas was at “the same level of fame” as CMM. George and Hayden are way above CMM’s level of fame, but Jared is at that level.

    • n

      i still think this may be Hayden, these days, his level of fame has drooped considerably. BTW, am i the only one who is concerned for the gf? Whoever this BI is about, they are thinking of MURDER people…. if he actually goes through with it (lets hope not), we will all know who it is then

    • KimiD

      CCM and Jared are on the same network too. CW

  • M&M

    Ha, Jensen Ackles mentioned wanting to learn to fly a plane and go base jumping at the recent con. I think someone reads this column and is getting a little dig back?

  • AliceAfterall

    Rachel doesn’t have dimples as the blind indicates JJO’s girlfriend does…

  • Ginj

    Could it be Shia LaBeouf?