He’s More Open Than Ever About Dating Men

nicolas cage 1EOnline – It seems like Lloyd Boy-Toyed is just one example of an über-famous celeb playing the I-dare-you-to-out-me gay dance. We’re bringin’ back an oldie, ladies and gentlemen: Remember Seymour Plow-Me-More? The multitalented, married dude who had a guy service him in a public steam room? Well, it seems Seymour is back and finding himself in crazier situations than he’s used to… Like the possibility of love. Oh, jeez, can it get any more horrifying than that? See, this A-list actor was once daringly handsome but has suddenly let age start to get the best of him. Although with the ups and downs in Seymour’s life, we can imagine how some of his secrets have taken a toll on his dark features. Well, it turns out Seymour’s getting guy-on-guy frisky again…with a reporter, no less! (Guess Lloyd really started something last time he went hornin’ all over a journalist, huh?) Seymour’s companion works for a mediocre outlet, but thanks to his famous partner, said journo just so happens to swoop all the exclusive stuff Seymour and his family have to offer. Yes, S’s wife knows what’s going on. In fact, the whole Business knows what’s going on. Even the movie studios that employ Plow-Me know about—and approve of—the boy baggage Seymour insists on carrying with him. S has tried various methods to ungay himself, but the fact remains: He can’t keep himself away from this par-tick tabloid type…and no one in this town seems to give a damn. Really? And It Ain’t: Kevin Costner, Nicolas Cage, Will Smith.

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57 comments to He’s More Open Than Ever About Dating Men

    • Beans

      1. How is Travolta “multitalented?” Surely this doesn’t refer to acting and flying planes. Dancing maybe?
      2. Travolta hasn’t “suddenly let age start to get the best of him.” He let himself go long ago. Back when his career was in the gutter and Tarantino plucked him out of near obscurity for the role in Pulp Fiction.

      The other parts fit Travolta but this will have to be explained 1st.

    • sulkydog

      I honestly can’t see Travolta going full speed ahead on his rumoured gay life (not that any one cares who’s gay). I think the trauma of losing his son has destroyed him and chasing down a lowlife gossip monger for sex doesn’t seem like a path he would take. (I’m just projecting how I would feel in his shoes.) By all accounts, his son was his world and to diminish his memory like that just seems wrong.

  • theEditor

    Has to be Travolta. Now, who is the journalist?

  • Müller-Lüdenscheid

    “Seymour and his family”

    … Must be some kind of clan. The Douglas’? The Baldwins? The Fondas?

    Too bad, the Cage/Copola-Clan is excluded, cause I would have bet on Nick!!

    And at this point, I throw Michael Douglas into the game. He’s my guess because of this line: “See, this A-list actor was once daringly handsome but has suddenly let age start to get the best of him.”

    • stinkweed

      I think they are referring to his wife and kids, as the next line actually talks about his wife. I took this to mean that he’s tipping off the paps to where he and his wife and kids will be to get some press.

  • I’m thinking it’s someone who golfs or was in a movie about golfing like Will and Kevin(par-tick). Maybe someone from caddyshack. It also mentioned multitalented, so maybe he actually golfs.

  • shawn

    the clue on Harvey was when a starlet saw him and his dated sun tanning at some pool ,,, and she said to him she should out him, a and Harvey got pissed….

  • Tracey

    I don’t see TMZ as a mediocre outlet, though.

    • a. s. Notch

      I thought the same thing- then thought that maybe “mediocre” refers to the tabloidism of it…

      • ahorsenamedbill

        I wouldn’t consider TMZ “mediocre” now. Is the blind referring to the beginning of TMZ? It’s a little confusing . . . Is this an old blind, or a blind about an old subject?

  • Jason

    John Travolta.

  • k

    Don’t Ted’s blinds use nicknames with the same cadence/sounds/syllables as the person’s own name? If that’s right, it’s not Travolta. (Anybody with a 2-syllable first and 3-syllable last where the last parts of the names rhyme?)

    • V

      If you look at his solved BI’s that’s not always the case. This is Travolta, and the death of his son is exactly why he doesn’t care anymore. He is multitalented…singer, dancer, actor, pilot. He’s finding relief in the arms of another. There’s “baggage” on airplanes and the “business” is Scientology. There’s a previous blind that mentions his big ass a couple years ago, and he’s struggled with weight.

      • MizFabulous

        Don’t forget about the part that said he has “tried various methods to ungay himself”, of which Scientology would surely be one. This is Travolta, for sure.

      • definitely

        And not caring anymore can also refer to the rumors that Travolta is denouncing Scientology (by admitting his son was autistic). Also the “and it aints” seem to match up…Will Smith-Scientology connection; Nic Cage- was in “Face-Off” with Travolta; although I’m stumped on the Kevin Costner.

  • anonymous

    Sounds like Travolta, but that rumour has been going around for decades! (…OT: that picture of Nicolas Cage? makes me want to punch him! :( go away!)

  • plum

    i understand nothing on Ted C blind items but i write Hugh Jackman because he’s married,A list , always follows by Paps(“mediocre journalists”),rumored gay!

  • first try

    I thought of Antonio Banderas because of the comment about his “dark features”. He used to be very handsome, but his looks have been going downhill with age.

  • pinto

    The “it’s not” Nic Cage gives it away, Travolta gayFace/off!

  • AllStar

    Bill Murray

  • That’s right, it is Travolta, the not Nic Cage and Will Smith (Scientology) reminded me of him. But I do not understand the clue of Kevin Costner.

    • Anne

      Kevin Costner and John Travolta both won Worst Actor and Worst Picture Razzies for movies in which they starred and produced (Costner=The Postman 1997; Travolta=Battlefield Earth 2000).

    • plum

      hair trouble? fake hair? bad hair surgeon ?

  • Tease

    er, Queen Travolta and his lacefront wig.

    but I do like him though.

  • Lynn

    After Travolta’s son died he probably said screw it, let me live my life. This could also be a way to give the finger to the Scientologists notoriously like to keep things ahem in the closet.

  • Ravana

    i totally think this fits Antonio Banderas. He has to deal with his wives drug issues so she in turn, turns a blind eye to his cheating. He totally makes sense.

  • rendozo

    Travolta; is a pilot, reference to baggage; methods to ungay himself, reference to Scientology; agree with someone else re all the stuff going on in his life is reference to death of his son and circus that followed.

  • AA

    I was wondering who is getting the scoop on Travolta stories and if you search him on TMZ, they did have an awful lot of stories especially when the one guy said something that messed up the trial. Its possible its someeone from TMZ even if its not Harvey.

  • mememememe

    It’s totally Travolta look at excerpt from Time 1991 publication:
    ‘Sometimes even the church’s biggest zealots can use a little protection. Screen star Travolta, 37, has long served as an unofficial Scientology spokesman, even though he told a magazine in 1983 that he was opposed to the church’s management. High-level defectors claim that Travolta has long feared that if he defected, details of his sexual life would be made public. “He felt pretty intimidated about this getting out and told me so,” recalls William Franks, the church’s former chairman of the board. “There were no outright threats made, but it was implicit. If you leave, they immediately start digging up everything.” Franks was driven out in 1981 after attempting to reform the church.’

  • MaryMac

    If John Travolta came out and left the CoS, it would be the beginning of the end for them.

  • MaryMac

    I also like the fact that the word Business is capitalized. Really makes me think of CoS.

  • It does sound like John Travolta

  • marissa

    It’s John travolta

  • jojoontheradio

    i think it’s travolta and his boy toy is that billy bush who looks like he knows his way around a penis alright