EOnline – Think most of our homo Vices have totally effed-up ways of pursuing love? Well, don’t rule out the horny-ass heteros, cause Adam Pounce-Prick is at the top of the heap when it comes to humiliating ways of getting off.
Adam P.P. dated a few other celebs once becoming a recognizable name—some honeys way out of his league, but they seem to fall for this funny fella’s charm, if not his somewhat-appealing looks. But Adam, like every other swell-headed male out there, wants what he can’t get.
Cue violins now, please.
Specifically, APP has his randy eye on one particular lady not in the business, not into casual stuff in the boudoir, either. Too bad for Pouncey, cause that’s all he’s looking for nowadays, and with this gal, he kept getting outright (and painfully) rejected. Did he finally prevail?
Well, listen up:
Those close to the lady of our dear Ad’s affections don’t say she has high standards or morals when it comes to bedding guys—they say she’s a “prude.” Because how dare a dude, and a famous one at that, get denied! What an icy bitch this girl is!
Adam has been incessantly texting Miss Priss late at night to thrill her with sweet nothings. Such as? Asking her if she wanted to “suck face,” or “roll under the covers with me.” We’re not kiddin’, folks, we couldn’t dream up these lame one-liners (that still live in the femme’s phone so she can whip ‘em out at parties and give everybody a good laugh).
APP’s totally horrible pickup lines for a booty call show just how immature he is in real life, not just the man-children he plays onscreen. (Though we give the dude some respect for not flat-out telling her to sit on his face or some other crude Piven-like crap.)
Well after a few weeks, Pouncey finally got the girl to come over by asking if she wanted to watch a movie. Right. Not sure why Miss Priss fell for this dork’s see-through excuse, but she came over to his pad. “Door’s open,” he shouted from inside, and she sauntered in. And there Ad was, standing completely in the buff.
Miss Priss screamed, as any normal babe would who was being flashed (and sexually harassed) by Pouncey’s paunchy bod, and flew the ef out of there, leaving Ad cold, alone and with a fab drop-dead line:
“I’ve already seen your movie.”
What a way to woo a girl, man. It’s a wonder you get laid at all.
And It Ain’t: Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Jonah Hill
Unquestionably Jason Segel. Paunchy, plays “man-children” on-screen, has been linked with famous women (Barrymore, Sevigny, et al.). And the line “I’ve already seen your movie” refers to this full-frontal scene in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”
FTW.
Who was the actor that played Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Knocked up as well. I am thinking him, especially with that line about the movie – early on in the film when he is standing there naked.
Jason Segel. Barely a blind item with all the obvious clues.
it’s gotta be poor Peter… Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s a fave of mine!
I like Jason Segel, but this screams him. It also screams “lame”.
Defo Segel…but who’s the chick?!
Hillary Clinton!!!
Jason Segal also has a brother named Adam.
my first thought was Segel too
BG- the title of this blind is your best ever!!
Dear Clementine – [BG bows] Thank you! Love, BG
NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOO! I don’t want it to be Jason but I fear it is.
Damn it!
Def Segal, and so what? Miss Priss is missing out; I’d suck face with him!
Wasnt there something out about zac braff and jessica simpson? He played a man child on scrubs. And wasnt that an episode of how i met your mother?
Yeah, the “Naked Man”!
Works 2 out of 3 times
LMFAO!!
The girl is probably another waitress. He likes those.
then I need to start waiting tables
Okay, yeah, it’s Jason Segel. But more importantly, WHERE did this picture of Bradley Cooper come from? Freaking hysterical!
This photo of Bradley just reaffirms my feelings about him being gay. This pic does it. I wonder if Victor Garber is behind the camera.
THANK YOU!!!!! I don’t understand at all why people believe him and Renee are a couple….I mean does she ever “date”/marry straight men??
david spade
i was going to say this but Segal is such a loser, and is more paunchy, and was naked in a movie. i will go with him. i heard that he is a yucky guy.
Definitely Jason Segal. Didn’t he also get with Lindsey Lohan recently???
is Lindsay the prude girl? LOL
Jason Segal can do no wrong in my eyes. Would be nice if he was more respectful, but obviously he wants to make up for all the rejection in his youth. And way to go, Miss Prude, for not being a push-over. Of course, may not be JS, but sure seems like it.
And yes, fantastic title.
Jason Segel…the not Jonah Hill clue points to him in knocked up
what about chloe sevigny?!?!
Seth Rogen?
delegating natch? Vaca perchance? whatever. Glory Be!
Vince Vaughn — paunchy man-child. And doesn’t he get naked in his new movie Couple’s Retreat?
In Anchor Man with Paul Rudd
In Wedding Crashers with Bradley Cooper
I feel like he’s definitely dated women who were out of his league…
Jason has been doing the rounds for a while, anyone who’s a regular at the bars he frequents can vouch for that. There’s hardly a week that goes by where he isn’t hitting on some random waitress or actress. The guy has turned into a flagrant womanizer and I think he idolises Russell Brand’s way with women however, unlike Russell who has always been honest about sleeping around, Jason tries to cover up how much of a manwhore he has become.
Segel, hahah.