A Tale of Two Cherries

two-cherriesEOnline – Darlings, you have no idea how much we wish we didn’t have to make this hot little gem a Blind Vice. But our E! attorney, a nasty little * from New York who hasn’t had any action since Britney was a virgin, insists the veil must be dropped. Oh, whatever. Still, it’s hot ‘n’ dishy! So let us introduce you to Me-Me Dallas and Tobey Yum Yum, two up-and-coming celebs who we know are going to be B.V. regulars—like Morgan Mayhem, but tons sexier and more fun! You can tell that Me-Me is dying to be bad; she always seems to be getting herself into hiccup after hiccup. And as for Tobey, we’ve always known he was a troublemaker, but for some reason Mr. Yummy has been able to fly more under the radar. Blame the dimples. Anyway, this stormy couple had a very thundering moment a year or so back. They were working on a TV show together, and neither of them were quite as virginal as they try to tell you they are… See, Me-Me and Tobey took a break together out in M’s trailer, and let’s say everyone on the set got an earful of just how much these two cuddly teens hunger for and adore each other. More importantly (and so adoringly), they decided to be each other’s firsts. There. And. Then. On a stage set! For the whole crew to listen to! And everyone on-set heard exactly how well that undertaking went down. And up. And in the middle and sideways… We feel incredibly perverted writing about this, but it just had to be shared, don’t you think? I mean, particularly since both parties couldn’t wait to tell everybody else that what they heard was, uh, what they heard. And It Ain’t: Dakota Fanning & Chris Evans, Taylor Momsen & Chace Crawford, Camilla Belle & Joe Jonas.

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67 comments to A Tale of Two Cherries

  • Cat

    Demi Lovato and the little Jonas Brother on Camp Rock.

  • JAqueen

    nick and miley

    • ahala

      the Jonai (plural) own a Home in Dallas. Do its OBVIOUSLY them. Shazam biyatches

    • JJ

      Ohhh yeah! Me Me Dallas has the same # of syllables (and sounds like) Miley Cyrus. Plus, she’s had a few scandals over the past couple of years, which Demi and Selena have not.

    • Lizzard

      I thought the exact same thing! Plus Hannah Montana a nd Me Me Dallas both have locations as a last name. AND for those who didn’t know, Disney has been trying to promote healthier eating by branding certain items. Like High School Musical avocados and Donald Duck cauliflower and stuff Hannah Montana is the face/ branding picture for Cherries. I know right?!

      • Lizzard

        You know what though I’m thinking I’m going to take back the Nick and Miley guess. Only because if everyone on set heard this going on, you know her dad would have gone in and stopped anything from happening, and Nick wouldn’t be alive, or probably have had bruises to show for Billy Ray trying to beat the crap out of him for touching his daughter like that.

  • HelenVanPattersonPatton

    Hudgens & Zaquisha.

  • Hope so

    I think Miley and Nick. “stormy couple” clue a year or so. Plus the Dallas referred to the Hannah Montana movie as someone pointed out in the Awful Truths comments.

  • Yan

    omg omg omg omg. i know who… MILEY CYRUS & NICK JONAS!!

    • yaya

      but how are either of them up and coming celebs? They are already celebs.

      • OhTotally

        yaya– I think he means up-and-coming GOSSIP regulars, not up-and-coming career wise–he compared them to Morgan Mayhem (Lindsay Lohan, who can’t keep herself out of the gossip columns).

  • NYCRepublican

    no idea, but i may have my friends call me Tobey Yum Yum from now on, has a nice ring to it

  • Yan

    sorry.. i sounded very much like a diddy preteen.. LOL but this is definitely Miley and Nick.. even their song is called “Through the Storm” and the clue is.. “Anyway, this stormy couple had a very thundering moment a year or so back.”

    Also.. the Jonas Brothers were on Hannah Montana a year or so ago.. “They were working on a TV show together”

  • ALLisFAIR

    ooooh, this is a GOOD one BG! I think Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus would be a good guess, but did they work on a show together? Did he guest star on HM?

  • Brittany

    I agree with the Nick and Miley guess…everyone knows she would never hold out till marriage.

  • Antares

    I am going say Miley and Nick and Jonas since he was on her show

  • G G

    Totes Miley and Nick. Disney has Hannah Montana endorsed red cherries.

    Hey BG – you know what is yummy on a free icecream sundae – Cherries!

  • Heywood Jablowme

    Miley and Billy Ray!! Wait, what?

  • Paula

    Like the Miley and Nick guess, but he doesn’t have dimples does he?

  • JudyLaRouge

    Miley Cyrus and Lucas Till

  • luvmoovies

    hmm.. It does sound like Miley.. especially after saying she wants to be like Britney… BUT.. the clue mentioned is Dallas… Miley isn’t from Dallas but Selena is… any other clues?

  • Kayla

    Doesn’t Miley have some Disney Garden brand of cherries out? I saw it on DListed today.. Anyways, yeah Miley and Nick, I’m pretty sure he has dimples, she definitely keeps getting bad press. Me-Me Dallas kinda sounds like Miley Cyrus too. Of course those purity rings are all for show.. wasn’t there a BI about Taylor Swift sending topless pics to Nick when she was dating Joe? Plus come on Justin Gaston is hot.. there’s no way he’s walking around in his underwear around Miley and she’s not riding the J-Train.

  • LaPerla

    Hannah Montana Cherries? http://dlisted.com/node/33392 : Hannah Montana’s Cherries: Available Everywhere!

    • sneezy

      I laughed till I cried earlier with that…and I’m doing it again – I’m totally going out to get a bag later.

  • ED

    Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas! Her hiccups..(vanity fair cover, shaking her nasties on stripper pole ON top of a ice cream cart AT the teen awards.) I find it disgusting that little girls strive to be her…

  • I'm a lady

    Nick and Miley ftw!

  • LuvJesse

    Hey, we ALL have to have a first time eventually…PURITY RINGS MY &#%!!

  • sean

    I don’t think it is Miley. I am sure some Disney exec got that a few years back in order to start here career.

  • Lilian

    It depends on the girl. My friend when she had her first thought it would hurt too. She waited for the pain that actually never came. so really it depends.

    • YeaH

      haha I would say the first 5 times, but it is different for everybody…
      plus teenage boys don’t have it going on yet in that department, especially virgins!
      but then again an attention * might fake enthusiasm no matter how uncomfortable/boring the sex is

  • vacay

    “up and coming celebs”? how can this be Miley?

  • loveprada

    OBVIOUSLY Nick & Miley!
    They have a song, “After/Before the Storm” can’t remember, and the Jonas appeared on a HMontana episode, and Miley is a “country” girl (Dallas), or so she pretends to be.
    And really, all the people on “It Ain’t” are from Disney and are related to the Jonas… ITS OBVIOUS

  • loveprada

    And Miley has Hannah Montana Red Cherries…
    I thought Nick had his ring on?
    It is all publicity, guys…

  • Daglis

    This is definetely Miley “Me Me” Cyrus, that little girl loves to get publicity any way she can. I am sure she seduce Nick..

  • egads

    miley isnt upcoming

    i think it’s demi- “me me” fits and she’s from dallas. AND she stars on a tv show SONNY with a chance which explains the weather clues.

    nick and miley is way too obvious and mileys incidents havent been hiccups, have they?

    i think the boy is sterling knight- he stars with demi on sonny AND he has dimples galore.

  • That’s not fair! I’m too old too know jack * about these young uns!

  • Yan

    yeaa.. sorry peeps.. but this SCREAMS Nick and Miley.

  • Tease

    This is def Miley, her new cd or something has something to do with cherries being sweet or bursting them and folks are talking about it being inapproporiate..the cherrries are the clue.

    BG is nooooooo joke

  • Daniela

    Demi Lovato! She’s from Dallas, but the guy I don’t know..

  • immature

    Lovato and Sterling Knight (who’s heavily dimpled.

  • eleian

    up and coming i think of vanessa hudgens and zac efron. i can see this being them rather than miley who is a huge star in her own right as are the jonas brothers. not nick and miley

  • Uh, yeah.

    Demi & Sterling. She came from Dallas, me me sounds like mi mi which is the end of her name, and also “Stormy” could be “Sonny” Like sonny with a chance where they both work on TV. She also was up and coming, miley is not.

  • Miss Dixie

    my first time was pretty awesome.

  • Carrie

    It can not be Miley/Nick. Article says “a year ago or so”. Nick and Miley had been long broken up && were on very bad terms.

    Also, Miley’s got zero association with Texas.

    Miley and Nick both were way past “up and coming” stars last year.

    I say it must be Demi Lovato.
    She’s from Texas.
    She has a sister named DALLAS.
    She’s on “Sonny With A Chance” hence weather references.
    She quite obviously wants to be “bad”.
    She’s had pictures leaked, it just wasn’t as public as Miley’s.
    She’s claimed to be a virgin.
    DeMI = “Me me”. Also, her song from Camp Rock “This Is ME”. Camp rock is actually what she’s origionally known for, as well.

    The guy? Maybe Sterling Night. I’d say, because of the obvious references to “Sonng With A Chance”.

  • Carrie

    Also, JB was NOT on Hannah Montana “a year or so ago”. It’s been FOREVER. It was like, BEFORE the Best of Both Worlds tour. That was two years ago.

    And this took place a year ago.

    And “Dallas” can not be a Miley Cyrus reference. She is not from there. On Hannah Montana, she’s not from there. No way to put Texas with her.

    It is not Miley. It can not be. “Dallas” makes no sense with her.

  • Liz

    None of the Jonases have dimples and they’re not up-and-comers or under any sort of radar, they’re all already huge, sorry! And I don’t see them as dumb enough to do these things on a set, please.

    Demi & Selena are both from Dallas though…

    But this does seem like the two would be a *known* couple.

  • Kelsey

    Well I think the Me-Me Dallas is Demi Lavato. Her name does end in mi..or me. Plus she is from Dallas. I don’t understand this Tobey Yum Yum though….

  • loveprada

    It’s actually Demi Lovato and Sterling Knight (Chad on Sonny with a Chance).

    Me Me Dallas refers to deMI and This is ME song. And Demi is from Dallas.
    Demi was kinda up-and-coming last year.
    Demi wants to be bad: she is trying to be rock-n-roll instead of the Disney Pop Princess. She also had some pictures that showed she was a cutter.

    Sterling has dimples, he is on the same show as Demi, and he’s up-and-coming, not like Miley or Nick who are huge stars.

    Also it says that Me Me went to Tobey’s trailer… meaning that Tobey is a REGULAR on Me Me’s show, not like the Jonas Brothers who made a guest appearance once. However… it said that the couple did this a year ago or so, but Demi’s Sonny with a Chance is like, 5 months old?

    So it’s either Nick & Miley or Demi & Sterling.

    Nick & Miley have a song called “Before the Storm”. She also twittered about Hannah Montana being the face of Disney Cherries. Miley is obviously trying to be bad (pole dancing, pictures etc). But… Nick doesn’t have dimples, the JoBros guest appearance was like 2 years ago, and I’m really sure Billy Ray Cyrus would kill Nick if he found out.

    So I’m going with Demi & Sterling.

  • loveprada

    Oh, and Demi has a sister named Dallas and her mom was a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.
    Also Miley’s Disney Cherries turned out to be a hoax since the package is just too different from other Disney Garden Products.

    And I thought that Demi and Selena were the only nice Disney Girls…

  • Carrie

    loveprada – that’s what I was saying! I can’t believe we’re the only people who remember Dallas Lovato? LOL

    And I forgot her mom being a cheerleader, but that’s just more proof.

    Miley/Nick is it, first glance. But when you think about it, it can’t possibly be them. And it makes a whole lot more sense for it to be Demi.

  • Carrie

    Another thing – loveprada – SWAC started airing like, five months ago. BUT filming was a YEAR ago. So, Demi && Sterling, for sure.

  • cari

    its demi & tony oller. deMI. Me Me. Demi is from Dallas. Tony is similar to Tobey. They filmed as the bell rings together. & tony oller has dimples

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1483372/