EOnline – Most featured Blind Vice babes just guest star in this blolumn, but Morgan Mayhem’s practically a series regular here at the Awful Truth. Truthfully, she should be happy for the work, especially since she’s favored her drama and drug addiction over any semblance of a once spot-on career.
We’re almost falling asleep at Morg’s predictable downward spiral, and it looks like she’s bored, too—she’s looking for a change.
Not in lifestyle, like sobering up finally and screwing her head on right, but in drug choice. M2’s party days of dipping her nose in the white stuff just don’t thrill anymore, which may be why she turned to meth (Wonder if she and Emma Uh-Oh ever hung out in the same crystal-abusing circles?). Morgy got bored with that, too, and has moved onto something entirely new to stick in her bod.
And it’s deadlier than blow or meth, if you can believe it:
If Michael Jackson’s death can be used as a cautionary tale, Morgan Mayhem’s new fave things, prescription drugs, are the most dangerous things to abuse. Why? Well, (a) they’re easy to get and keep getting, as long as you get that first prescription, and (b) abusers don’t exactly consider themselves to be abusing drugs in the naughty sense of the D-word, since they got ‘em straight from a doctor. A medical “professional” gave them to me, so it must be OK! Right?
So wrong. Morg’s constantly up on Adderall, among other happy pills. Some wouldn’t be surprised that the unfocused honey’s got ADD, but this is strictly for recreational use as opposed to anything M2 actually needs—gives her a much-mellower high as opposed to an anxious tick like blow, and she can actually get some work done! Girl can actually fake being sober a lot better than she could before, which only encourages her to keep pill-popping like mad. But deep down she must know something’s not right, since she still tries to hide her habit from everyone around her.
But she’s not always successful: M2 was just caught red-handed with the script stuff by her dearest friends—the paparazzi. Spilled all over the sidewalk, reds, blues and purples falling out of her purse, M-hon scrambling to pick them all up. She begged her photo friends to erase the pics, which they did—and they would, if they wanted Ms. Mayhem to keep calling them whenever she goes out on the town.
So can’t anyone help poor Morgan? Anyone?
And It Ain’t: Kristen Stewart, Hayden Panettiere, Mischa Barton
Definitely lindsay lohan. she’s pathetic.
she needs help : real friends ,real family,real doctor. she needs some one who kicks her ass
LOL amen
sadly it is her
I’m placing my chips on Lohan for the win.
“Mean Girls” is now 5 years and 3 months ago…seems like just the other day.
Second that LiLo.
Lindsey Lohan. Absolutely.
Heigl.
That was my first guess when reading the blind but after reading all the comments I’m going to have to change it to LiLo.
I don’t get it….wouldn’t they make a shit load of money selling THOSE pictures? I mean why couldn’t one just keep ONE and lie to the *? I should be a paparazzo, I have no heart.
i agree!! thats why i wonder if its true!
ya its lindsay…
lindsay. with parents like hers do you blame her?
Lohan for sure. What a mess. Do her parents even care one bit?
I feel sorry for Lindsey, I really do. She doesnt have parents she has “drinkin buddies”. She definitly doesnt have any friends that care about her.
Yep, Lohan. There’s even a similarity to the alias (same first letter of first and last name) and her name.
plus her middle name is Morgan
Oh yeah! Easy solve!
i agree its her but isnt her middle name dee or is that part of her first name?
Lilo’s middle name isn’t Morgan, it’s Dee. You can check it out in IMDB.
The “Morgan” thing comes from name of the production company she was working for when the infamous “shape up or ship out” letter was sent — it was during the movie she made with Jane Fonda.
Right around the time when Lindsay went on Ellen, Us Magazine (so take this with a grain of salt) said that Lindsay was taking Adderall to lose weight. What ever happened to eating right and working out?
eating right and working out? are you serious? LOL if you have the dough to go on the coke diet, why not
or the meth diet! Lose weight fast AND age your face by 15-20 years. Yay! Lindsay is in her early twenties but looks older every day.
It’s sad what drugs can do to people. She needs Jamie Spears like right now.
Why? Does he need more money? His and his wife’s parenting skills didn’t do their girls any good.
Lindsay, for sure. so, so sad. Why do actors with such talent go down this spiral? I guess it is too much to soon, with no limitaions or guidance.
Ted writes about Morgan Mayhem pretty frequently. He’s made it painfully obvious that it’s Lilo. BTW, her actual middle name is Dee, but she uses Morgan as her stage middle name (whatever that means).
L is for Lindsay Lohan… Lindsanity…get it together girl!!
“Blolumn” in the first sentence must be a nod to “Blohan” her nickname. It’s Lindsay 100% solved.
how sad that no one close enough to her won’t step in and help. i guess everyone is just counting down the days to when “morgan mayhem dead!” is on the news.
she already cost me points in my death pool by not dying by July 1st
Hayden Panettiere is pretty.
OK Hayden quit writing about yourself
Yup. LiLo
i was thinking lily allen or kate moss? i’m new here so i’m totally just guessing haha
Oh pleezz. Who didn’t know she’s a big tweeker? Keep your hands up, I need to count.
Oooo! This is a point mentioned. I like when everything in place while it is understandable to mere mortals..
yes, hayden pantiliner is pretty………close to the same fate. this is lilo, it’s been long known that MM is LL, plus haydens always getting compared to her, esp around the mom area
Most definitely Lindsloppy ‘I need help’ Lohan. She wont recover from drugs and alcohol until she learns ‘partying’ does not equal happiness. She is desperately trying to fill an emotional void with a ‘high’ rather than dealing with her obvious problems and addictions. Escaping by drugs and alcohol can lead to the final escape…… death. Learn from Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Anna Nicole Smith, et al, please don’t join them.
So sad. Lindsay seems like a lost cause.
Of course, it’s Lindsay….
You know, if I were a pap, I could pretty much retire off of those photos…I would have totally ignored her request. You’re doing it to yourself at this point, honey. If anything, publishing those photos could possibly save your life…
ok i agree it would make sense to be lilo but does she ever leave la? ” keep calling them whenever she goes out on the town.”
maybe it means in future because shes shooting in texas? or somewhere not LA soon
and whenever shes begging to get into sams she asks them not to film they lie and say they wont
plus as she hasnt done anything bad in ages they would make loads
surely publishers must be sick of paying for photos of her shopping,coming out of sams
Going out on the town doesnt mean leaving town. Its just saying she calls the paps when she goes out so she can stay in the tabloids.
Everybody knows that Morgan Mayhem is Lindsay Lohan. Mixie Pixie was Nicole Richie and, back when they were friends, Ted had tons of blind vices about them snorting lines together everywhere. This one is obvious, guys. LiLo for the win.
I was kind of thinking of Mischa but I guess I’m outnumbered!
Nope, she even is in the “No it ain’t”
I’d think the pictures of Lindsay dropping her drugs would be worth more than the endless ones of her coming and going late night from Sam’s, which, incidentally, hardly make the magazines (the real $$) anymore. Also, it’d probably push her back into rehab, which is so ridiculously needed. I think Ted is just stating the obvious – that she takes Adderall – such old news – and making it into a blind to fill a column.
As much as she’s the architect (or at least the perpetuator) of her own destruction, I’m really starting to feel sorry for ol’ LiLo. Can’t help thinking she’s basically done for…
I think there is no way the paps really erased these pictures. They know these will be worth money and are probably holding on to them for a rainy day. Just like the above poster who said they all tell her they are not filming when she is begging outside of Sam’s house but they really are. These will come out one day I’m sure.
Agreed. She is riding a train that is heading for a wreck and the pics will come out then. Sadly, H’wood tends to glorify drug addicts if it means money, but the addicts themselves consider it to be fame and publicity.