He Aimed for the Girl in the Red Dress

woman-red-dress-11EOnline – Man-Slut McNugget Returns! Crawley McNugget is back, but don’t worry, his sleaziness hasn’t gone anywhere. Remember Crawley? The little TV star that could? He racks up bedroom conquests about as fast as he blows the lines out at night. After all, when are sex and drugs not one in the same in this skanky town of Hollywood? FYI: Because of the drug factor previously mentioned, that’s why we can’t just reveal to you all who this seemingly not-so nice guy is, but since we’re feeling kind today, we’ll offer superfab clues. ‘Cause C.M. has now schlepped his schlong and STDs to the perfect place, teaming with fellow and impressive sluts: Vegas. The ‘Nugg decided to take his game to Sin City recently. And no, he didn’t run into Jerry Rock-Butt there. Cee prefers to keep his posse full of movie stars, instead. Anyway, Crawley was having a fab time out clubbing, hitting on girls left and right, natch. Most of them fell for his semi-fame bait. Except one. See, C.M. likes the chase as much as anyone else, so when his not-so-smooth “you do know who I am?” (no joke) lines didn’t work on this par-tick smart babe, he’d finally had enough. “You know what, fine. If you’re not going to sleep with me, then see that girl in the red dress over there? Your friend? I can take her up to my room and bang her right now if I want!” And he did. Talk about classy. Jeez, some friend, huh? Not sure who’s the sleazier turd here? But whatev. Seriously, how are some girls so damn gullible? This fair-haired guy isn’t ugly by any means, but he’s clearly a douche prick and crab-friendly asshole. Is bedding someone semi-famous that worth it, girls? Yuck. Maybe C.M.’s turning more into his TV character than we thought. And it Ain’t: Tony Romo, Penn Badgley, Bradley Cooper.

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49 comments to He Aimed for the Girl in the Red Dress

  • woowoo

    The “fair haired” David Spade.

    • i suck at blind items

      I agree

    • Ripley

      “This fair-haired guy isn’t ugly by any means..” I do not see David Spade even close to this statement.

      • peacefrog

        No. Ted already eliminated David Spade (twice actually), Johnny Galecki, John Mayer, Verne Troyer, and Matt Dillon. Read the other blind Ted is referring to when he says, “Remember Crawley?” …leads straight to Kevin Connolly of Entourage (burned by Nicky Hilton). And Connolly IS in Vegas: he was there in June for the NHL awards, playing poker on the 2nd of July as a celebrity guest for the World Series of Poker, and there on the 4th according to the Las Vegas Sun.

      • Mary J

        I can never make sense of his blinds.. my head hurts reading them!

    • CateBlue

      How can you even read Ted’s blinds, it’s like being trapped in a high school girls bathroom with five teenagers strung out on diet pills trying to have a conversation, oy!

  • Pixie Dust

    doug reinhardt

  • Beleive it

    Ed westwick

  • iknowit

    Kevin Connolley entourage… for sure.

  • Megley

    Kevin Connelly from Entourage. His character is going to be a manw*this season, apparently.

  • luvmoovies

    this was back in January…

    Crawley McNugget is a quasi-pint-size playboy in the fickle and lust-filled town of Hell-Ay, even though he may not look the part. Like, at all. Regardless, Crawley’s somewhat public womanizing track record shows he’s gotten to bed many notorious (for nothing) ladies even though scores of coke-snorting bystanders manage to marvel at McNugget’s success—through the haze of blow-filled highs, no less.

    But look, the really ridic thing about the dude is that his real-life sex manners are not at all like the nice TV character he plays. Here’s how:

    As one would suspect of his unimaginative type, Crawly frequents the Hollywood club scene, a lot of the time with other famous pals, looking to score some ass. And he does too, tons. C.M. takes the babes back to his Hills home with the assumption that they’re sure gonna do the dirty, and most of the time they sure do. Jeez, you straight chicks can be as easy as us gay slutty ones, I swear! I digress.

    But for any gal who prefers to just fool around without closing the deal, be prepared for McNugget to scream louder than a Desperate Housewife with bad lighting. “Get out, then!” he will squeal with high-pitched yelping not dissimilar from the zealous Chihuahua he resembles. He then calls a cab for the discarded dame.

    Gentlemanly? Hardly. Why, the last babe who got kicked to the curb dished to us that when the cabbie picked her up, the driver snarked, “What is this place?” She proceeded to tell him the name of the nonlikely hunk that lived there. “I’m here nightly,” the cabby said. “Sometimes a couple times a night.”

    Guess you get cab fare whether you seal the deal or not. One thing’s for certain: You don’t get to spend the night. Ever. Why? Because the last honey Crawley tried to make it work with burned him for life. No joke. Life. Now, he treats his women as badly as she did him.

    And It Ain’t: John Mayer, Matt Dillon, Verne Troyer

    Update Feb 20: Ted has eliminated David Spade, Jeremy Piven, Johnny Galecki, David Spade (again).

    • Aquaboogy

      It’s got to be Kevin Connelly! And the chick that “burned” him for life was Nicky Hilton. Perhaps the burn comes from the herps?

  • i suck at blind items

    on a blind items revealed site – they said that Ted has eliminated the following as being Crawley:

    David Spade
    John Meyer
    Jeremy Piven
    Vern Troyer
    Matt Dillon

    He also referred to him as “pint-sized” so that would rule out Doug R.

  • LMM

    I’m thinking that this is Kevin Connolly from Entourage…

  • iknowit

    kevin connolley, “e” on entourage

  • brooke

    The Crawley part makes me wanna guess Chace Crawford.

  • miss j

    Jeremy Piven?

  • i suck at blind items

    The only other short, light-haired tv actor I could think of was Dominic Moniyhan

  • luvmoovies

    Kevin Connelly

    • luvmoovies

      Kevin Connolly… sorry.. mispelled.. anyways… I think it’s him??? … he was in Vegas recently.. poker game… he seems so nice in Entourage…

  • I'm just sayin...

    according to lvweekly these people were spotted recently:
    Dominic Monaghan
    Jason Stratham
    Sebastian Stan
    Donnie Walhberg
    Scott Michael Foster
    Ryan Philippe
    Scott LeBar
    Greg Vaughn
    and NKOTB

  • stinkweed

    “Posse” = entourage

    Definitely the Piv.

  • stinkweed

    “mcNUGGET”, Piven plays Ari GOLD… gold nugget?

    • Gitano

      It says above that Piven has been eliminated. And he’s not blonde. I don’t think it’s him.

  • Of Course

    I’m agreeing with Brooke on this one. Chace or “chase” is the opposite of Crawley or “crawling.” He’s from Texas, thus the Tony Romo mention. He works with Penn Badgley on Gossip Girl, and his character Nate has done some naughty things a few times. His sexuality has been in question, just like Bradley Cooper. He was also in Vegas in the middle of June. I’ve never heard of his sleaziness, but this is the best guess I have!

  • JAqueen

    kevin connolly and nicky hilton is the one who burned him?

  • RRGossip7

    Ryan Phillippe

  • S

    awww i hope its not Kevin Connolly!!

  • Me

    Awww, no, not sweet little E!!! I LIKE that guy.

  • jassica

    Haha the blind items from EOnline are such mindf-cks. My head hurts just from reading it.

  • blankety blank

    Who cares about the drugs? Knowingly infecting a partner with an STD is UNACCEPTABLE- BI or not.

  • Jill

    i’m confused– the january clip notes that his character is nice, but this one makes it sound like his character is an asshole.

    i feel like “aimed” is some kind of clue. but i suck at this. anyone?

  • Ali

    It is Kevin Connolly, toward the end of last season on Entourage Turtle called him McNugget several times.

  • KELLY

    What a shame its Kevin, he does “appear” to be cool, but looks are deceiving!!! Look at John Mayer- he looks kinda sweet and indie, but hes a full D bag!!!

  • Betsypaige

    So, if it is Kevin Connelly… how exactly did Nicky Hilton burn him ‘for life’? With the emphasis on the ‘for life statement, she must’ve done something awful!

    • luvmoovies

      actually.. if I remember correctly… he cheated on her…. that’s why the broke up….

  • duhgirl

    So obviously kevin connoly. His character “E” is only semi famous… Just like the last sentence of the blind reads.

  • lulabelle

    Definitely and without a doubt, Kevin Connolly.

  • A Fellow Mick

    I think the “Mc” might be a veiled reference to his Irish last name: Connolly.

  • LO

    “likes the chase” could be another kevin connelly clue vincent chase is adrien grenier’s character on entourage

    • Bling

      I agree. Plus Kevin was in He’s Just Not That into you with Bradley Cooper, and he plays a New York boy in Entourage and Penn plays a New Yorker in Gossip Girl.

  • Meggers

    When he was on Howard Stern’s show, Kevin Connolly pretty much admitted that he’s a man-* and actually talked about some of his conquests.